She just wont let go..

[Gamisch]

Hi yall new on this forum. Ofcourse I've been a longtime lurker. Bit I am in a situation and I would like some feedback.

My ex came back out of the blue 2 years ago. She hit me up and I was very sceptical about giving her a chance. She broke up with me 4 years ago and since then I ve dating had some short flings . She went to a clinic to battle her depression (as if that was the reason she broke up ).

I think I was more blackpilled then red when she came back, as I was pretty depressed and bitter, but at least I wasnt blue pilled from the get go. This kinda kept her on the edge , she was literally saying stuff like " you holding up the line " and was actively trying to tie me up in a LTR. Besides, I was still seeing some old f buddies left and right.

But, after one year of dating her I cracked and I still went blue. I started following therapy, got a new job and ditto skill I learned, and so I felt like I rather respect her, love her bladibla because she kept going on about loving me that I am the one and so forth. Now like a the other thousand stories about these situations, soon as I did this the power dynamics completely shifted. Now suddenly I was the one asking her to open up to me , exclusivity, to see me more often ect. It became a real struggle to meet up make dates ect.

This year I haven't seen her yet. Needless to say , she dropped the bomb 2 months ago that she's dating some dude. I was hurt ,but immediately went back on the market. I'd already had some women on speeddail to rebound hard on. I am far from the most confident, or prettiest guy in the world but still able to pull some tail here and there.

Now she's back at it. I told her that what we had will never come back and that I'am dating other women and have some succes both on and off line. She keeps professing her "love" for me, she thinks about me everyday, she want me to give her another chance ..she will never have something deeper than we had and so forth..

Sometimes, because she keeps trying ,I am like : i date new women anyway, i can just date her...instead if completely cutting her off I can plate her. I wanna know what some of the DJ,s here think about my last point.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Plate her if you think you can resist going bp again. I’ve had a similar situation in the past, the issue was that she was the hottest piece I had at the time. But like you, the moment I wanted more or showed any non-arsehole traits she’d start behaving in ways that I did not find acceptable.

I finally fired her completely - she was always a plate - but a main plate. It was hard to do, given her attractiveness level and how well we interacted physically. Once again she’s back begging to get back, I’ve resisted temptation this time and frankly it feels amazing to do so. The liberty to juggle plates now with the added time I have (because she occupied so much time) is amazing.

My advice is to plate her, enjoy it - but realize it’s a lease not a purchase. She’s not yours except when she’s under you.

the choice is yours.

 

[Gamisch]

Plate her if you think you can resist going bp again. I’ve had a similar situation in the past, the issue was that she was the hottest piece I had at the time. But like you, the moment I wanted more or showed any non-arsehole traits she’d start behaving in ways that I did not find acceptable.

I finally fired her completely - she was always a plate - but a main plate. It was hard to do, given her attractiveness level and how well we interacted physically. Once again she’s back begging to get back, I’ve resisted temptation this time and frankly it feels amazing to do so. The liberty to juggle plates now with the added time I have (because she occupied so much time) is amazing.

My advice is to plate her, enjoy it - but realize it’s a lease not a purchase. She’s not yours except when she’s under you.

the choice is yours.

Great reply. I try not to judge on looks too much ,but I gotta admit she's kinda hot. I think your advice also keeps my emotions tranquilized, i.o.w., dont push for exclusivity and let her do her thing.

I tend to still make demands on her, as if there is just this one way of treating her( old bad behavior). I should just be a little more light hearted about this...

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

If you still want to smash just don’t commit. She’s shown you that every time you do she strays. Treat her the way she’s taught you to.

Men are the gatekeepers of commitment, women the gatekeepers of sex. She has what you want, you have what she wants. Leverage it.

 

[Gamisch]

Wow . ..4 post in you already made my signe up more then worthwhile..great insight you give me here brother

 

[The Duke]

Hi yall new on this forum. Ofcourse I've been a longtime lurker. Bit I am in a situation and I would like some feedback.

My ex came back out of the blue 2 years ago. She hit me up and I was very sceptical about giving her a chance. She broke up with me 4 years ago and since then I ve dating had some short flings . She went to a clinic to battle her depression (as if that was the reason she broke up ).

I think I was more blackpilled then red when she came back, as I was pretty depressed and bitter, but at least I wasnt blue pilled from the get go. This kinda kept her on the edge , she was literally saying stuff like " you holding up the line " and was actively trying to tie me up in a LTR. Besides, I was still seeing some old f buddies left and right.

But, after one year of dating her I cracked and I still went blue. I started following therapy, got a new job and ditto skill I learned, and so I felt like I rather respect her, love her bladibla because she kept going on about loving me that I am the one and so forth. Now like a the other thousand stories about these situations, soon as I did this the power dynamics completely shifted. Now suddenly I was the one asking her to open up to me , exclusivity, to see me more often ect. It became a real struggle to meet up make dates ect.

This year I haven't seen her yet. Needless to say , she dropped the bomb 2 months ago that she's dating some dude. I was hurt ,but immediately went back on the market. I'd already had some women on speeddail to rebound hard on. I am far from the most confident, or prettiest guy in the world but still able to pull some tail here and there.

Now she's back at it. I told her that what we had will never come back and that I'am dating other women and have some succes both on and off line. She keeps professing her "love" for me, she thinks about me everyday, she want me to give her another chance ..she will never have something deeper than we had and so forth..

Sometimes, because she keeps trying ,I am like : i date new women anyway, i can just date her...instead if completely cutting her off I can plate her. I wanna know what some of the DJ,s here think about my last point.

Girls like this never change. They are always chasing that "new cahk smell". That's what drives them.....new guy tingles.

She will keep you from moving forward and hurt your chances with others.

 

[Gamisch]

Girls like this never change. They are always chasing that "new cahk smell". That's what drives them.....new guy tingles.

She will keep you from moving forward and hurt your chances with others.

I was thinking about this too. Somewhere I feel like I should be "man enough " to use her as practice case to raise my abundance levels. I might need it in the future.

Other hand it seems like bull****, pure my ego talking,longing for a new version of myself that's actually able to spin plates and dgaf. I tend to be a jealous guy, tbh.

Fortunately I am already dating other women, so I am less outcome dependent then I was in the past.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Never give her exclusivity again. She had her chance

 

[dude99]

Hi yall new on this forum. Ofcourse I've been a longtime lurker. Bit I am in a situation and I would like some feedback.

My ex came back out of the blue 2 years ago. She hit me up and I was very sceptical about giving her a chance. She broke up with me 4 years ago and since then I ve dating had some short flings . She went to a clinic to battle her depression (as if that was the reason she broke up ).

I think I was more blackpilled then red when she came back, as I was pretty depressed and bitter, but at least I wasnt blue pilled from the get go. This kinda kept her on the edge , she was literally saying stuff like " you holding up the line " and was actively trying to tie me up in a LTR. Besides, I was still seeing some old f buddies left and right.

But, after one year of dating her I cracked and I still went blue. I started following therapy, got a new job and ditto skill I learned, and so I felt like I rather respect her, love her bladibla because she kept going on about loving me that I am the one and so forth. Now like a the other thousand stories about these situations, soon as I did this the power dynamics completely shifted. Now suddenly I was the one asking her to open up to me , exclusivity, to see me more often ect. It became a real struggle to meet up make dates ect.

This year I haven't seen her yet. Needless to say , she dropped the bomb 2 months ago that she's dating some dude. I was hurt ,but immediately went back on the market. I'd already had some women on speeddail to rebound hard on. I am far from the most confident, or prettiest guy in the world but still able to pull some tail here and there.

Now she's back at it. I told her that what we had will never come back and that I'am dating other women and have some succes both on and off line. She keeps professing her "love" for me, she thinks about me everyday, she want me to give her another chance ..she will never have something deeper than we had and so forth..

Sometimes, because she keeps trying ,I am like : i date new women anyway, i can just date her...instead if completely cutting her off I can plate her. I wanna know what some of the DJ,s here think about my last point.

She stabbed you in the back twice. Why pass her the knive so she can do it a third time.

Don't waste your time on her.

 

[Kotaix]

Hi yall new on this forum. Ofcourse I've been a longtime lurker. Bit I am in a situation and I would like some feedback.

My ex came back out of the blue 2 years ago. She hit me up and I was very sceptical about giving her a chance. She broke up with me 4 years ago and since then I ve dating had some short flings . She went to a clinic to battle her depression (as if that was the reason she broke up ).

I think I was more blackpilled then red when she came back, as I was pretty depressed and bitter, but at least I wasnt blue pilled from the get go. This kinda kept her on the edge , she was literally saying stuff like " you holding up the line " and was actively trying to tie me up in a LTR. Besides, I was still seeing some old f buddies left and right.

But, after one year of dating her I cracked and I still went blue. I started following therapy, got a new job and ditto skill I learned, and so I felt like I rather respect her, love her bladibla because she kept going on about loving me that I am the one and so forth. Now like a the other thousand stories about these situations, soon as I did this the power dynamics completely shifted. Now suddenly I was the one asking her to open up to me , exclusivity, to see me more often ect. It became a real struggle to meet up make dates ect.

This year I haven't seen her yet. Needless to say , she dropped the bomb 2 months ago that she's dating some dude. I was hurt ,but immediately went back on the market. I'd already had some women on speeddail to rebound hard on. I am far from the most confident, or prettiest guy in the world but still able to pull some tail here and there.

Now she's back at it. I told her that what we had will never come back and that I'am dating other women and have some succes both on and off line. She keeps professing her "love" for me, she thinks about me everyday, she want me to give her another chance ..she will never have something deeper than we had and so forth..

Sometimes, because she keeps trying ,I am like : i date new women anyway, i can just date her...instead if completely cutting her off I can plate her. I wanna know what some of the DJ,s here think about my last point.

You are her second choice, and she's keeping you around in case she can't find anyone else before she hits the wall.

If it were me, I'd just dump her permanently. She's already dumped you before, no reason she won't do it again.

 

[Gamisch]

You are her second choice, and she's keeping you around in case she can't find anyone else before she hits the wall.

If it were me, I'd just dump her permanently. She's already dumped you before, no reason she won't do it again.

Do not plate her, she has a hold on you. Cut ties. She is pretty sadistic.

Gotta write this (shamefull) reply so other men go through the same **** can learn from this..

She basically ditched me twice...

It's just my darned ego. Combined with her sweet talking me . I follow and read enough about the topic to know I am her second choice at best. Somehow I conditioned myself to "fight" to be her number 1 , to stroke my damn ego.

Today she was hysterically calling me up as to why I moved one quickly, that she wishes to " honorably " give me my stuff back in person and that she misses me ( I suggested throw it away or send it via mail).

I will listen to you guys, and leave it like this. I am already banging new chicks anyway.

 

[dude99]

I am already banging new chicks anyway.

Focus on this.

 

[BuckledWheel]

She’s been stealing your frame for a long time. It’s become natural for you to enter her frame because of past relations with her. Back off & keep her at arms length from now on. She has you figured & knows what works with you. No matter what she says to you, do not succumb. Good luck.