She is having doubts

Gamisch

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Though rare, it would be possible for that to happen to a woman.

A 35 year old woman today is a Millennial who has had access to online dating and social media. A 35 year old woman today has had far more options than a 35 year old woman in 1990 would have had. A 35 year old woman today who hasn't had a serious relationships has been pursued by hundreds to thousands of men from tech-based methods and likely put up a big notch count in one night stands and situationships over a 15-20 year period. Additionally, a 35 year old woman today likely went to college and was exposed to a lot of eligible men on campus. She might not have had a serious relationship in college but she wasn't lonely.

A 35 year old woman today without a long term relationship in her past has had at least 15 sexual partners.
I dont know. 35 means she grew up without tinder. 20 means she was 10 when tinder came out. But 35 means she was already around when we still had to call with coins and we had steady house lines.

She's never been lonely. Or I should say alone. Unlike men, she always had options. What went wrong when she is 35 and NEVER met someone she wants to walk hand in hand with?
 
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SW15

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I dont know. 35 means she grew up without tinder. 20 means she was 10 when tinder came out. But 35 means she was alrwdy around when we still had to call with coins and we had steady house lines.

She's never been lonely. Or I should say alone. Unlike men, she always had options. What's wetn wrong when she is 35 and NEVER met someone she wants to walk hand in hand with?
A 35 year old in May 2023 was born in 1987 or 1988. Tinder was released in September 2012. She would have been 24 or 25 when Tinder was released.

Basic cell phones were common when a 35 year old was in high school and college. If she went to a 4 year university immediately following high school, she arrived on campus freshman year with a cellular phone for the Fall 2006 semester.

Online dating websites were commonly used from 2006-2012. She could have been on a dating website from 2006-2012. Back in 2006-2012, plenty of women had hundreds of messages in their inboxes from thirsty men.

Facebook was released to the general public in September 2006. She had Facebook all throughout college if she went. She might have even had MySpace in high school. Guys DM'ed for dates on both MySpace and Facebook during that time.

She's never been lacking for male options but the fact that she let her prime pass without one stable relationship would be odd.

There are plenty of never married 35 year old women today that have had a few extended relationships lasting between 1-5 years.
 

RicBoy

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I dont know. 35 means she grew up without tinder. 20 means she was 10 when tinder came out. But 35 means she was alrwdy around when we still had to call with coins and we had steady house lines.

She's never been lonely. Or I should say alone. Unlike men, she always had options. What's wetn wrong when she is 35 and NEVER met someone she wants to walk hand in hand with?
She said all the guys she had in her life that wanted something serious or walk hand in hand as you say she left them after a bit.

problem is a I have feelings. I know she has feelings for me too but I also know when she says she has doubts she probably means doubts if she ever wants to be more that we are now which is something between fwb and dating.
I’m not really sure what to do apart from texting less and not talk more about relationship and feelings when I’m at her place for sex
 

Gamisch

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She said all the guys she had in her life that wanted something serious or walk hand in hand as you say she left them after a bit.

problem is a I have feelings. I know she has feelings for me too but I also know when she says she has doubts she probably means doubts if she ever wants to be more that we are now which is something between fwb and dating.
I’m not really sure what to do apart from texting less and not talk more about relationship and feelings when I’m at her place for sex
Do NOT fall in love!!!!

And mind you, this is like saying do NOT het addicted to stuff you're smoking. Nit smking that stuff is a easier way to avoid attachment than thinking you will ne stronger than the previous or the next man.

You know what will happen. You will get what you want, but after a while she will dump you. The dumping will hurt severely. Dont underestimate heartbreaks.

How did you met her by the way?
 

RicBoy

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Do NOT fall in love!!!!

And mind you, this is like saying do NOT het addicted to stuff you're smoking. Nit smking that stuff is a easier way to avoid attachment than thinking you will ne stronger than the previous or the next man.

You know what will happen. You will get what you want, but after a while she will dump you. The dumping will hurt severely. Dont underestimate heartbreaks.

How did you met her by the way?
My cousin has a girlfriend for 7 years and a kid. And this girl is her best friend. I had seen her drunk in parties for the last 4 years maybe 4 times. We never really said much. Last party I was at her table and after everyone left I stayed alone with her. She asked me what kind of girls I like, I said fat biches, she held my hand and put on her boobs and belly and asked me if that was fat enough for me. I smiled and said let’s go home together and we had one night stand. One day later I texted her and said I’d like to keep seeing her and she said she was down to it. From that day on we meet always twice a week since and it’s been 2,5 months.
We went one time for dinner at her friends place but usually we meet at her house and stay together for 6 hours or so food sex etc. we don’t hang out outdoors or sleep overs. She doesn’t want. She can’t really sleep if I’m in her bed. We tried sleep over last Thursday and she couldn’t sleep much.
 

Stoic

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The universal solution for almost all men in this forum and you too OP is that you need to spin more plates and/ or focus more on your own pursuits. Doing this will shed neediness and make you more attractive to all women.
 

The Duke

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My cousin has a girlfriend for 7 years and a kid. And this girl is her best friend. I had seen her drunk in parties for the last 4 years maybe 4 times. We never really said much. Last party I was at her table and after everyone left I stayed alone with her. She asked me what kind of girls I like, I said fat biches, she held my hand and put on her boobs and belly and asked me if that was fat enough for me. I smiled and said let’s go home together and we had one night stand. One day later I texted her and said I’d like to keep seeing her and she said she was down to it. From that day on we meet always twice a week since and it’s been 2,5 months.
We went one time for dinner at her friends place but usually we meet at her house and stay together for 6 hours or so food sex etc. we don’t hang out outdoors or sleep overs. She doesn’t want. She can’t really sleep if I’m in her bed. We tried sleep over last Thursday and she couldn’t sleep much.
I think this girl has some attachment issues as well.
 

RicBoy

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Women never "fall asleep" before a planned thing with a guy they like. "Fell asleep" usually means I had sex with another guy, or simply "I don't care".
I’ve been like 15 to 20 times at her place in 2,5 weeks or so. It’s not like it’s a magical date she is excited. Nah she has no one or any sex with anyone we are exclusive and that part I’m sure. Problem is my behaviour of course too much subtle chasing with texts. Never give her a chance to miss me etc lost goes on always available.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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35 year old who's never been in a serious relationship? It's doomed to fail. This probably isn't even your fault OP. Have you checked her medicine cabinets?

I’ve been like 15 to 20 times at her place in 2,5 weeks or so. It’s not like it’s a magical date she is excited. Nah she has no one or any sex with anyone we are exclusive and that part I’m sure. Problem is my behaviour of course too much subtle chasing with texts. Never give her a chance to miss me etc lost goes on always available.
In your case it simply sounds like lower interest levels.

Relationships should be easy and it should be obvious that the girl likes you.
 

RicBoy

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I
35 year old who's never been in a serious relationship? It's doomed to fail. This probably isn't even your fault OP. Have you checked her medicine cabinets?


In your case it simply sounds like lower interest levels.

Relationships should be easy and it should be obvious that the girl likes you.
I’m sure she likes me. We meet at her place twice a week and lots of sex. But no sleep overs no hangout outdoors. And she doesn’t text almost anything between dates. If I text she always replies with emojis and stuff. I think low interest isn’t it. Maybe she just starting to her smothered a bit and having doubts about future
 

RicBoy

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Too much communication I suspect. Seeing her too much. Only thing to do in this situation is back off.
Other women.
Meeting at her place is an error too. How far apart?
My guess is your giving off some bp vibes.
Shes not excited. Shes gas lighting. I would stop believing her words and back off and watch what she does. 2.5 months is nothing
Probably seeing too much and talking too much. Too much too soon most likely. Meeting twice a week all the time she never had time to miss me
 
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