She is changing!

[John.Peter151]

Recently have noticed a lot of changes in my girl friend behaviour, she's acting like she is losing respect for me. Here are few thing's i noticed in her:

1: Keeps takling about other boys with me showing interest in them = She used to call me her prince and promised that i'm the cutest guy she ever met, but now she show's so much interest in other boys. Thought she is making me jealous but then got 2 know she act the same way with her (Girl) friend's too that "HE" was looking awesome "HE" that "HE" this about guys. How should i handle her this behaviour? Is getting angry with her better then just saying "ok" whenever ever she tell me that "BOY NAME" boy was looking so hawt etc?

2: She sometimes tries insulting me in jokes, like calling me a jerk, idiot, dork etc in a friendly way but she over do it. How should i handle her this behaviour? She was never like that ever, always treated me like her WORLD.

3: Never agree's with me no matter wot, my every dicission, plan and everything seems wrong to her!

4: No romantic talks, even if i say "I love you" - she bring's in another topic as she didnt even heard what i said!

5: When ever i talk to her on call, her voice is like showing me attitude as if she's tired of me! Talking like "Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy!!!!!!" etc, hope u get it.

Thing's I've been doing with her lately:

Made her 100% sure that i will NEVER EVER leave her no matter what she do because she comes first then everything else, did everything possible to make her beleive how truly sincere i am. Heard somewhere on net that acting overly nice causes all that. I need some explaination and advices as to how should i correct my mistake and bring back all the old attraction/interest. I heard that stopping being nice may bring her back but won't she get fed up or feel the same way as me.

I want her back to her previous state when she used to call me her life, world and everything and need your advices fast before finally i reach a stage where she breakups. As i heard same thing's happened with many boys who got their girl friend's breaking up with them at last.

I've heard a lot about a rule so called "NO CONTACT" to make her miss me etc, can that work here or will make the situation more worst?

Need some serious help and ready to follow advices.

Btw - I had another post about girl friend losing interest but that matter was solved at last, so don't think i'm double posting

 

[JohnChops]

Recently have noticed a lot of changes in my girl friend behaviour, she's acting like she is losing respect for me. Here are few thing's i noticed in her:

1: Keeps takling about other boys with me showing interest in them = She used to call me her prince and promised that i'm the cutest guy she ever met, but now she show's so much interest in other boys. Thought she is making me jealous but then got 2 know she act the same way with her (Girl) friend's too that "HE" was looking awesome "HE" that "HE" this about guys. How should i handle her this behaviour? Is getting angry with her better then just saying "ok" whenever ever she tell me that "BOY NAME" boy was looking so hawt etc?

2: She sometimes tries insulting me in jokes, like calling me a jerk, idiot, dork etc in a friendly way but she over do it. How should i handle her this behaviour? She was never like that ever, always treated me like her WORLD.

3: Never agree's with me no matter wot, my every dicission, plan and everything seems wrong to her!

4: No romantic talks, even if i say "I love you" - she bring's in another topic as she didnt even heard what i said!

5: When ever i talk to her on call, her voice is like showing me attitude as if she's tired of me! Talking like "Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy!!!!!!" etc, hope u get it.

Thing's I've been doing with her lately:

Made her 100% sure that i will NEVER EVER leave her no matter what she do because she comes first then everything else, did everything possible to make her beleive how truly sincere i am. Heard somewhere on net that acting overly nice causes all that. I need some explaination and advices as to how should i correct my mistake and bring back all the old attraction/interest. I heard that stopping being nice may bring her back but won't she get fed up or feel the same way as me.

I want her back to her previous state when she used to call me her life, world and everything and need your advices fast before finally i reach a stage where she breakups. As i heard same thing's happened with many boys who got their girl friend's breaking up with them at last.

I've heard a lot about a rule so called "NO CONTACT" to make her miss me etc, can that work here or will make the situation more worst?

Need some serious help and ready to follow advices.

Btw - I had another post about girl friend losing interest but that matter was solved at last, so don't think i'm double posting

What I made in bold is the BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE. She has the power in the relationship, she knows that she has you by her fingertips when in reality you need to have HER by your fingertips. BE A MAN! Men hold the power in a relationship, of course there is some cross dynamic , but for the most part you are the leader. Come on dude, make it seem like you can drop her in a minute or else she is going to keep doing as she pleases. She knows she has you, and your dependent on her ..... she senses it, she feeds off it, she is going to own you if you dont stop this. NEW ATTITUDE - if she does something disrespectful just punish her with withdrawing your contact. DONT reward her... Your making such an easy mistake to fix, now fvcking fix it.

-JohnChops

 

[Nemanao]

^^^100% truth. This girl is in complete control, she has you right where she wants you and is able to manipulate you like a puppet. Women don't like needy men, they also don't like men who tell them how much they care about them every single day and how much they NEED or LOVE them... these words lose meaning if used too often. try not telling her you love her or not praising her for a while. arrange a date with her then cancel and tell her something really important came up..when she asks to hang out DONT BE SO AVAILABLE.. show her that you have other interests and that your world is not revolved around her. take control bro. stay strong and realize that she is the one that is lucky to be with YOU

 

[SeymourCake]

Read the DJ Bible.

 

[georgie24]

^^^100% truth. This girl is in complete control, she has you right where she wants you and is able to manipulate you like a puppet. Women don't like needy men, they also don't like men who tell them how much they care about them every single day and how much they NEED or LOVE them... these words lose meaning if used too often. try not telling her you love her or not praising her for a while. arrange a date with her then cancel and tell her something really important came up..when she asks to hang out DONT BE SO AVAILABLE.. show her that you have other interests and that your world is not revolved around her. take control bro. stay strong and realize that she is the one that is lucky to be with YOU

100% correct

unless you act now you will either suffer severe heartbreak or go through this relationship getting sh*tted on

 

[seek&destroy]

sorry dude...she's got your nuts tied up. Dump her ass, and if she really wants you make her prove it! As far as her talking about other guys goes...that's easy...just start talking about girls you think are hot...and when she asks you what's up with you, just ignore that by planting a kiss on her cheek and walking away. This will show her you're no pushover. My friend did it in a similar situation back in high school, and this one girl was all over him....she even stalked him and sent him love letters. He made her go crazy over him when she started talking about other guys. I should have taken a page from his book back then, but I was too stupid to understand why he did it in the first place!

Other than that...read the DJ Bible! I just finished reading through all materials but am on week 2 exercises while re reading the articles to understand it better. Some of those articles will really change your life bro!

 

[flashpoint]

tell her you are thinkin about breaking up with her. you havent been happy lately and it doesnt seem to work out with the both of you. and you need a few days off to think about that stuff. that should bring her back into reality. if it doesnt, well ... NEXT.

 

[Jair213]

tell her you are thinkin about breaking up with her. you havent been happy lately and it doesnt seem to work out with the both of you. and you need a few days off to think about that stuff. that should bring her back into reality. if it doesnt, well ... NEXT.

i would even tell her none of that.

just straight break up with her for the reason that you havent bein feeling it.. end of story

see how she reacts/actions in the long run.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

John my man, if she's not returning your affection in any equal way, and if you've already devoted your undying love, you've got to tone it down just a bit. Man you've got to withdraw real hard.

But likely, the respect might be gone, or the relationship might not be able to rebound.

Truth be told --

Do you want a woman who treats you this way?
Do you want to suffer this much struggle?

Disconnect and take care of yourself and yourself first and see how she responds. Place much more time between your texts. Fill your day with things, and wait for her to extend an invitation to hang out. Say you're pretty busy and maybe tomorrow. I know that may be cold, but you've got turn your attitude around 180 degrees.

The real truth is, if this woman is already nagging you, never agreeing, causing you this much frustration--maybe it's worth starting fresh with someone else whom treats you better?

Until then learning how to manage yourself a bit better with women could help as well. (This is a battle for us all mang).

 

[GotED?]

I have been in similiar situation recently in a 6 month relationship. Did she come on really strong in the beginning? The ones who comes on strong, fades quickly as well because they are needy, insecure, and get bored easily. You will also want to examine her overall personality and behavior; does she have problem completing a task all the way to the end? Doe she talk alot of talk about starting projects/ideas but never follow through? Can you trust her words when she says something and will do it? Those are traits of an immature woman who can not handle nor have learned responsibility in life. Therefore, they are all over the place in life - last thing you need is one of these life hitchhiker blood-sucking leeches in your life.

With respect,

Exodus

 

[Purefilth]

I've heard a lot about a rule so called "NO CONTACT" to make her miss me etc, can that work here or will make the situation more worst?

NC is to help you get over her, if you go NC, you should be prepared to stick it out, Granted it could make her miss you and get her squirreling after you, but thats not the point of it. No Contact means just that. no matter what. Its NOT a cheap trick to "get my girlfriend to talk to me like a real boy"!!

 

[Eternal_water]

Made her 100% sure that i will NEVER EVER leave her no matter what she do because she comes first then everything else, did everything possible to make her beleive how truly sincere i am.

Even I cringed at that.

 

[Cremasta]

Seems pretty obvious that she just doesn't like you anymore.
I think you need to take a step back, read your own post and ask yourself "Do I still want her around?"

If the answer is yes, then great, do the NC thing and whatever else that will hopefully get you two back to where you started.

If the answer is no, then don't threaten, don't go NC, don't try to be 'Alpha'... just walk away and tell her you are doing exactly that.

 

[bigneil]

Good advice from pretty much everyone.

What the OP describes is the typical scenario that happens when a girl has high interest, then gets herself into a situation where she's not happy, and then wants out. This is where she is trying to get HIM to end it by being extra mean to him (because she "doesn't want to hurt his feelings").

It might be saved if he goes NC for long enough (still not probable), but regarding the following quote: "Made her 100% sure that i will NEVER EVER leave her no matter what she do because she comes first then everything else, did everything possible to make her beleive how truly sincere i am." remember:

1) You never want to tell her you will always be there IF SHE IS LEAVING YOU. That's rewarding bad behavior and is the opposite effect NC produces.

2) If she had just had sex with you, I can see reminding her that you will be always be there for her (rewarding good behavior) but even then it's not a good idea. When that happens it's best to go LC and wait for her to reply (so she won't believe you were serious).

3) Your love is conditional upon her behavior, don't forget that either.

 

[The Gambler]

Your confidence is low at the moment, as it should be. It's a shame that your relationship made it to this point, but now that it has, it's time to shake things up. By that, I mean it's time to shake HER up.

Who the hell is she to take YOU for granted? The next time she talks about another guy, hand her a five dollar bill and say "Why don't you two go grab a few drinks? First one's on me, b*tch."

Are you a mean guy? It doesn't sound like it. But for some reason, she is throwing sh*t tests your way. And you know how to deal with those.

So goes the advice of The Gambler.

 

[John.Peter151]

Hello everyone, thank you all for such great advises, appreciate them all
I also bought some ebook's regarding this and found exactly what you guys have advised here. I got to know through some of her friend's that she treat me bad because she is not afraid of losing me as she is sure that i can't leave her and i will come back begging even if left her. So she speak whatever come's in her mind without any thinking. But question here is, as all of you said she treat this because she took me as her "own" and thought it won't cost her anything no matter how badly she treat me - after all i'm hers. Would she have done this if she loved? Like for example if she treat me like a prince, i would never EVER have treated her badly, infect respected her more then ever, then what's the science here? Why is that so treating her good = negative outcome?

Btw I'm more then hell sure she was HELL sincere to me, she even was about to kill herself in front of my eyes due to some fights we had (It has nothing to do with her change) So i can't say that she wasn't sincere..But then why all this now. :S

 

[JohnChops]

no need to buy anything, everything youll ever need is here for free. Dj Bible.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

...she treat me bad because she is not afraid of losing me as she is sure that i can't leave her and i will come back begging even if left her. So she speak whatever come's in her mind without any thinking...she even was about to kill herself in front of my eyes due to some fights we had (It has nothing to do with her change) So i can't say that she wasn't sincere..But then why all this now. :S

John --

It's because when you are 'too nice' and 'devote your love' you remove all challenge for her. You want to really always have her think she COULD lose you -- and this is not a joke -- if she DISRESPECTS you, she can ALWAYS ALWAYS lose you -- 10 years or 15. There is no 'undying allegiance'. If her behaviour becomes callous and catty, she's gone man. Why deal with that?

A lot of times the only things that keep people in CHECK are CONSEQUENCES. If she has NO CONSEQUENCE with you, nothing keeps her in CHECK, and she owns the situation and walks all over you.

John, to be honest, this relationship is over. You talking about her 'killing herself' shows this is all going to hit a big terminal end-point, and it's not going to be pretty. I know english is not likely your first language -- if you have trouble reading this let me know -- but you NEVER NEVER want to stay with someone who threatens KILLING THEMSELVES.

This has a 'big disastrous mess' written all over it.

This is what you do: You call her up and have her come over. You have her things packed. You say, 'Look, you don't treat me well anymore, and you talking about killing yourself, and having no respect for me just isn't something I can accept in this relationship. We need to not be together. You need to go take care of your own life'.

And then NC.

This woman will bring you down John. You don't have the strength or skills yet to handle this situation, and she's going to bring you down. You need to EJECT ASAP. And I don't give that strong of advice to everyone.

 

[John.Peter151]

JohnChops, What is DJ bible? :S

Buddha_Mind, thanks a lot for your advice but if you actually see more clearly,

Btw I'm more then hell sure she was HELL sincere to me, she even was about to kill herself in front of my eyes due to some fights we had (It has nothing to do with her change)

There i said it has nothing to do with her change/current situation, it's months ago when that incident happened. Tried to kill herself because her friend tried brainwashing me and she was like why don't i believe her sincerity etc. That's totally another story, so i said as compared to before, a person who can offer to give up life to someone, and love a lot, how can that person become disrespectful so fast with me, just because of me being "Overly-Nice"
But still your advice's great
And as we all know, she think i won't be leaving her and i'm totally her "own" for her to treat me in whatever the hell way she like, can't changing her thinking help me? Like if i leave her by doing what you said, by saying i can't tolerate this disrespectful behavior etc so she can at least risk of losing me and come back to normal? I really want a solution, because i really love her a lot and it's not easy to move on -- ready to do what ever i can to bring her normal by following all these advises.. There must be some chances even now for me to regain all respect and attraction again.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

JohnChops, What is DJ bible? :S

Buddha_Mind, thanks a lot for your advice but if you actually see more clearly,

There i said it has nothing to do with her change/current situation, it's months ago when that incident happened. Tried to kill herself because her friend tried brainwashing me and she was like why don't i believe her sincerity etc. That's totally another story, so i said as compared to before, a person who can offer to give up life to someone, and love a lot, how can that person become disrespectful so fast with me, just because of me being "Overly-Nice"
But still your advice's great
And as we all know, she think i won't be leaving her and i'm totally her "own" for her to treat me in whatever the hell way she like, can't changing her thinking help me? Like if i leave her by doing what you said, by saying i can't tolerate this disrespectful behavior etc so she can at least risk of losing me and come back to normal? I really want a solution, because i really love her a lot and it's not easy to move on -- ready to do what ever i can to bring her normal by following all these advises.. There must be some chances even now for me to regain all respect and attraction again.

Any girl who is risking her own suicide, you have to ask, "is this really the best girlfriend I can get?". That's what I'm saying here--whatever the circumstances were in her threats of suicide...and people can be dramatic and say all sorts of sh1t so it's possible she was just throwing out extremes..but you have to really look at that honestly and ask yourself if that's the mental stability you want around. Now we all have weak moments okay, I'm guilty of some stupid sh1t in my life absolutely, but when you report that she treats you poorly and she threatens suicide, as a non-involved 3rd-party I want to say to you: "Brotha, get outta there ASAP!!"

If you really want to try building her attraction, or SHOW her that she can lose you, like everyone suggested, try dialing back a bit. Let her text you, or come to you...act a bit aloof here...really what you want to start doing is focusing on things that really mean something to you -- hobbies, skills, interests -- I know this gets re-hashed a lot here, but by focusing on developing yourself, you're not sitting around with a sick stomach worrying about this woman. You're out there making your own life better. And inevitably, by improving your life, you bring up the people around you--or attract greater people who are also working hard towards you.

At the end of the day you have to ask yourself if you want to be in a relationship with so much disrespect. You can try to rebuild your respect, by not being needy, by focusing on moving yourself forwards, pick up some exercise, etc, etc -- but don't get all whiny or cryee to this woman -- ultimately you have to be OK with or without her. I know that svcks, but the way she is treating you is not very nice, and she doens't seem to concerned with your emotions. You really want to bend all over for someone like that?

Have you dialed it back at all yet? Has her behavior changed in the last few days or is she still giving you a bunch of sh1t?

PS, EDIT -- You can't put her FIRST above everything else. You have to put YOURSELF first and make yourself the best version of you possible. That doesn't mean treat her like a dog or some side-nothing, but rather you can't be placing her so high up on a pedestal, sacrificing yourself -- this inevitably loses respect and she'll just take everything you give her and then just step on your head. I don't know why people act this way, but mostly it's because you're not expressing enough of your own self-respect. That's why I'm saying keep building yourself man. I know you love this woman and are attached to her, but you can't control anything beyond yourself -- and there may be deeper issues why she acts this way. Does she treat her regular friends sh1tty like she treats you? Is she generally b1tchy like this?