She hints i should buy her stuff

[Oxide]

"I aint take them out to eat, i aint here to trick or treat, i aint tryin to buy her weave, i aint heard of that..."

let her hint all she wants, hint for anal.. like that dude up said.

seriously, perform in the sack, and she will be buying YOU sh1t. I mean nothing wrong with getting a little thing once and again..but i never really gotten it.. i like having money, why pay for her?

 

[Socialreject]

Nothing wrong with giving a little thing every once in a while, it's just another way to show affection. As long as it's inexpensive i see no problem with it really.

The problem for you is however that she's been poking you about it! If you give into it now that would be sending out a bad message. Namely that you are susceptible to harassment from her. Which is like giving a dog a bone for crapping on your carpet.

Next time she jokes about the present thing... why don't you joke right back and just go like "NOPE!"... No.. forget it!... nah... you wish... etc etc.

Then one day when it's turned into a running joke, you can maybe genuinely surprise her with something small. Don't just give it to her, find a cool way to give it to her. It's a nice sign of affection... and then afterwards you can do it to her good and blow some new and refreshing romance into your relationship

Don't get predictable, don't go to sleep, stay spontanious and refreshing... and of course it goes without saying that she should appreciate that, and return the favor...

 

[DJinTraining06]

hint that she should suck you off

I asked her if she still had her period tonite when we were laying in my bed watchin tv, and she said yea. And she didnt offer to blow me. WTF, she did it like clockwork the first 3 months, why not this month? Grrrrr. I went down on her so many times before sex. This happened wit my ex gf too, first she would offer all the time when she had her period, then id have to ask, and eventually she wouldnt even do it if i asked, ever. I hope this dont happen again. Any ideas how to get her to do it again? What is it they just do it cuz they want u, and once they know they have u they don't do it.

 

[Cremasta]

I like to randomly be surprised and get head while i'm sitting on the couch watching tv

This is exactly why my gf gets presents!

 

[mrRuckus]

This is exactly why my gf gets presents!

Good man.

I am VERY quid pro quo, tit for tat, etc.

If i'm giving, and i'm not getting back in some form, then you won't be getting any more from me other than a kick in the teeth.

Girls want the world in exchange for them SHOWING UP. To hell with that.




And I don't pay for sh1t much. If anything, most of girlfriends paid for me pretty frequently. But then, i only date rich girls or girls with good jobs because i'm the one who busted my ass through college and deals with all the crap at the good job i earned so i'm not too keen on sharing much of the wealth on some whiny female can't pull her own weight

If she gives things to me, then i'll delight in finding ways to make her smile. I can't for the life of me understand why they don't get this.

 

[Vypros]

I have no patience for this stuff anymore.

It's really too much effort to get worthless gifts for girls. I feel like when i'm in a relationship i need to set up some sort of calendar system that emails me that it's been 42.3 days since the last time i gave a gift so i better make up some bullsh1t to give her to shut her up because i know by day 47.82 she will be b1tching i don't give her anything (EVER, mind you), nevermind the fact that i nightly blow her mind in bed, never even consider cheating on her, and i patiently listen to her vapid work stories about her pathetic women friends that stay with men that beat them or whatever else. I'm a million times better than and treat her better than other guys she or her friends have been with and she still wants to complain about stupid meaningless sh1t. ZZZZZZZZZZZZ


My most recent LONG term relationship, every once in a while she'd start to complain i don't do anything right when i was planning something really nice just to be nice because i felt like doing it. Then i'd tell her about it and cancel the whole thing because she ruined it by whining. Yeah that one didn't last much longer after that stuff started... I don't reward whining.

See, you're viewing this is a "chore" and you SHOULDN'T THINK LIKE THAT.

Basically, you are saying with this post that you feel compelled to buy her something everytime she complains a little (even if she's saying it in a joking manner--trust me if she "jokes" about it, she is wondering for real why you don't do stuff like this for her) is the only time you feel the need to DO something for her, and your definition of "DO" is actually "BUY".

What you're not understanding is that MOST (and I say that because there ARE some gold-diggers out there--not as many as you think, but they exist) girls DON'T CARE how much you spend on them. All they care about is ONE THING: Are you thinking of them?

That's the question on every girl's mind when you are in a relationship, and she judges your actions based on that question. Everything you do, she's thinking "Is he thinking of me? Does he really LIKE me? Or is he just in it for sex?"

So, most guys, seem to realize this. Most guys can AT LEAST understand that hey, she needs things from me in order for her to respond the way I want. So, what do they do? They go and drop hundreds of dollars on holidays and ****.

What they DON'T realize is that you could spend a THOUSAND dollars on her for Christmas or Valentine's Day or whatever and it won't mean JACK to her. Why? Because holidays are sort of a "given". It's expected of people to go out buy gifts on a holiday. You aren't really thinking of HER on a holiday, you are thinking of the holiday and the holiday reminds you of a certain list of names that you HAVE to buy for. And to a girl, this isn't anything special, because it's EXPECTED. Then what happens? A guy sees that the girl EXPECTS things, and they get mad thinking she's some kind of gold-digger or materialistic and that simply isn't the case. Think about it. Think of how YOU view holidays. You think the same way. You have an expectation that certain people are going to be buying you things on certain holidays. And if they don't, you wonder what's wrong, right?

So holidays don't really get you anywhere, even if you drop tons of cash on them.

So where does that leave us? Well, I'm glad you asked because I'm going to tell you!

Going back to her need to feel "wanted" and "special" Her need to be in YOUR MIND at all times. It's a funny need to us, because we don't think like that. But a girl does. A girl wants to know that she is so special to you that you are always thinking about her.

Well, how do you reinforce that?

YOU DO RANDOM THINGS TO SHOW HER THAT YOU ARE THINKING OF HER.

Right away, you can cancel out holidays, because they get you nowhere. Next, you need to forget about the "logical" aspect of dollars and cents. She doesn't really care if how much you spend on her, as long as you are DOING something to show her you are THINKING OF HER and that SHE IS SPECIAL to you.

Nothing goes further than buying her something, or EVEN BETTER MAKING HER SOMETHING on just a random day--no strings attached, no holiday, no fight that you are trying to make up for. Just a random act that shows that you are THINKING of her.

Does this mean that you have to spend money? No, in FACT the absolute BEST gifts you can get her involve things that cost relatively NOTHING. Examples? Why sure, I thought you'd never ask!

1. Write her a note. So what if you think it's "highschoolish". SHE DOESN'T. I don't care HOW OLD she is, a note telling her how you feel about her or just letting her know that you were thinking of her is HUGE.

2. Write her an email or send her an ecard. (I seperated email and "note", because a hand written note is actually more personal than an email because it's in your hand writing and takes MORE TIME to do. The amount of TIME you spend with the little "gift" is directly proportional to how much it will mean to her--and how many "points" you gain with her for it)

3. Make a scrapbook of all your pictures together. No need to explain, other than to say that women go NUTS over this kind of thing.

4. Put together a picnic basket, go in and surprise her on her (or your) lunch break.

5. Buy her a small locket necklace and put a picture of the two of you in it.

6. Leave a rose on her pillow (JUST ONE), a note on her pillow.

7. Fill her bedroom FULL of baloons. This is huge because it's relatively cheap, takes MASSIVE planning to pull of without her knowing it, and is incredibly random and DIFFERENT.

8. Write her a (or find an already written) poem and give it to her.

9. Make her a mix CD with all her favorite songs or songs that are special to the BOTH OF you.

Etc.

The list goes on and on. It's only limitations are what YOU can think of. The most random and the WILDEST ideas are the abolute best. Show her that you are random and fun. Have FUN with it. Don't view it as a chore. Love is and should NOT be a chore to you. If it is, then you are with the wrong person.

I think I'll get some flack for this post, because peope are going to view this as "supplicating" to her. Well, let me just say this much: These are things you do LATER on in a relationship (after a month or two), not right away. The only way it becomes supplicating to her is if:

1. You do it on the first couple of dates.
2. You do it because she complains (which technically pretty much screws the thread starter her because now if he DOES do something nice for her, she's going to think it was because she got on him--so he's going to find frustration in that he's "damned if he don't, damned if he does").
3. You do it so frequently that it becomes HABIT. (you want thest things to be RANDOM--not everyday, but enough)

 

[Vypros]

But then, i only date rich girls or girls with good jobs because i'm the one who busted my ass through college and deals with all the crap at the good job i earned so i'm not too keen on sharing much of the wealth on some whiny female can't pull her own weight

You are going to be a VERY unhappy man if you keep that attitude.

 

[Lust]

See, you're viewing this is a "chore" and you SHOULDN'T THINK LIKE THAT.

Basically, you are saying with this post that you feel compelled to buy her something everytime she complains a little (even if she's saying it in a joking manner--trust me if she "jokes" about it, she is wondering for real why you don't do stuff like this for her) is the only time you feel the need to DO something for her, and your definition of "DO" is actually "BUY".

What you're not understanding is that MOST (and I say that because there ARE some gold-diggers out there--not as many as you think, but they exist) girls DON'T CARE how much you spend on them. All they care about is ONE THING: Are you thinking of them?

That's the question on every girl's mind when you are in a relationship, and she judges your actions based on that question. Everything you do, she's thinking "Is he thinking of me? Does he really LIKE me? Or is he just in it for sex?"

So, most guys, seem to realize this. Most guys can AT LEAST understand that hey, she needs things from me in order for her to respond the way I want. So, what do they do? They go and drop hundreds of dollars on holidays and ****.

What they DON'T realize is that you could spend a THOUSAND dollars on her for Christmas or Valentine's Day or whatever and it won't mean JACK to her. Why? Because holidays are sort of a "given". It's expected of people to go out buy gifts on a holiday. You aren't really thinking of HER on a holiday, you are thinking of the holiday and the holiday reminds you of a certain list of names that you HAVE to buy for. And to a girl, this isn't anything special, because it's EXPECTED. Then what happens? A guy sees that the girl EXPECTS things, and they get mad thinking she's some kind of gold-digger or materialistic and that simply isn't the case. Think about it. Think of how YOU view holidays. You think the same way. You have an expectation that certain people are going to be buying you things on certain holidays. And if they don't, you wonder what's wrong, right?

So holidays don't really get you anywhere, even if you drop tons of cash on them.

So where does that leave us? Well, I'm glad you asked because I'm going to tell you!

Going back to her need to feel "wanted" and "special" Her need to be in YOUR MIND at all times. It's a funny need to us, because we don't think like that. But a girl does. A girl wants to know that she is so special to you that you are always thinking about her.

Well, how do you reinforce that?

YOU DO RANDOM THINGS TO SHOW HER THAT YOU ARE THINKING OF HER.

Right away, you can cancel out holidays, because they get you nowhere. Next, you need to forget about the "logical" aspect of dollars and cents. She doesn't really care if how much you spend on her, as long as you are DOING something to show her you are THINKING OF HER and that SHE IS SPECIAL to you.

Nothing goes further than buying her something, or EVEN BETTER MAKING HER SOMETHING on just a random day--no strings attached, no holiday, no fight that you are trying to make up for. Just a random act that shows that you are THINKING of her.

Does this mean that you have to spend money? No, in FACT the absolute BEST gifts you can get her involve things that cost relatively NOTHING. Examples? Why sure, I thought you'd never ask!

1. Write her a note. So what if you think it's "highschoolish". SHE DOESN'T. I don't care HOW OLD she is, a note telling her how you feel about her or just letting her know that you were thinking of her is HUGE.

2. Write her an email or send her an ecard. (I seperated email and "note", because a hand written note is actually more personal than an email because it's in your hand writing and takes MORE TIME to do. The amount of TIME you spend with the little "gift" is directly proportional to how much it will mean to her--and how many "points" you gain with her for it)

3. Make a scrapbook of all your pictures together. No need to explain, other than to say that women go NUTS over this kind of thing.

4. Put together a picnic basket, go in and surprise her on her (or your) lunch break.

5. Buy her a small locket necklace and put a picture of the two of you in it.

6. Leave a rose on her pillow (JUST ONE), a note on her pillow.

7. Fill her bedroom FULL of baloons. This is huge because it's relatively cheap, takes MASSIVE planning to pull of without her knowing it, and is incredibly random and DIFFERENT.

8. Write her a (or find an already written) poem and give it to her.

9. Make her a mix CD with all her favorite songs or songs that are special to the BOTH OF you.

Etc.

The list goes on and on. It's only limitations are what YOU can think of. The most random and the WILDEST ideas are the abolute best. Show her that you are random and fun. Have FUN with it. Don't view it as a chore. Love is and should NOT be a chore to you. If it is, then you are with the wrong person.

I think I'll get some flack for this post, because peope are going to view this as "supplicating" to her. Well, let me just say this much: These are things you do LATER on in a relationship (after a month or two), not right away. The only way it becomes supplicating to her is if:

1. You do it on the first couple of dates.
2. You do it because she complains (which technically pretty much screws the thread starter her because now if he DOES do something nice for her, she's going to think it was because she got on him--so he's going to find frustration in that he's "damned if he don't, damned if he does").
3. You do it so frequently that it becomes HABIT. (you want thest things to be RANDOM--not everyday, but enough)

Now excuse me for being blunt, but this sounds a lot like the "Mainstream" dating advice that AFCs give. The sh!t that don't actually work.

Maybe I'm wrong.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Now excuse me for being blunt, but this sounds a lot like the "Mainstream" dating advice that AFCs give. The sh!t that don't actually work.

Maybe I'm wrong.

No, I agree. It's a very cliche list of romantic gestures. Yeah, it may get an immediate response but the long term value of these things are minimal, thus the need to do these types of things frequently. I stick to more personalized gestures which resonates with a woman for a very long time. Then again, I'm not dating teenie-boppers who mostly look for many, immediate gratifications.

 

[Vypros]

Now excuse me for being blunt, but this sounds a lot like the "Mainstream" dating advice that AFCs give. The sh!t that don't actually work.

Maybe I'm wrong.

No, you are partially right. This stuff, in and of itself, will NOT work. What? Did he just spend like 15 minutes typing a huge post and then when someone questions him on it all of a sudden he's saying it DOESN'T WORK?????

MAKE UP YOUR MIND VIPROS!!!!

lol

What I mean is, that there is MUCH MORE to it than just suprising her with little gifts once in a while. What I mentioned above is just a piece of a whole, a leaflet in an entire portfolio of RELATIONSHIP BASED (key words--i.e. you don't do this stuff when you are just looking for ass, you do this stuff with someone you CARE ABOUT) process.

So, what the hell do I mean then? Well, the fact is that you MISSED MY ENTIRE POINT which I revealed early on in the post. So, let me reiterate and condense that entire post into something you can latch onto and remember easily:

EVERY WOMAN HAS AN INTRINSIC NEED TO FEEL WANTED, LOVED, AND THOUGHT ABOUT. THE TECHNIQUES YOU USE TO ACCOMPLISH THIS ARE ENTIRELY UP TO YOU.

Does that make more sense to you?

Does that bring the points home a little better? Because, honestly, if you don't get this very basic, fundamental concept you are going to find that the BEST you are ever going to do is get ass. Maybe that's all you want--more power to you. But to make a relationship work, you are going to have to meet this need in her. All the other mumbo jumbo I posted was one way of accomplishing this. And to be honest, it's not COMPLETE. This stuff alone will not suffice. It's part of a package that you have, and that is:

1. Strong Characteristics: You know what you want and you go after it with confidence, character, and charisma.

2. Strong identity: You have a healthy mix of things going on in your life that makes you less "needy" and keeps you busy, but also is based on the idea that you live to have fun. That you do the things you have to do when you have to do them so that you can live the life that you WANT when you WANT IT.

3. Strong Moral Code. This is DIFFERENT for everyone. It's a list of things that you CAN NEVER AND WILL NEVER change, and that you are willing to FIGHT FOR. If a woman disagrees with your moral code, then these are things that you BREAK UP with her for. This shows that you have a backbone.

4. Strong sense of living for the moment and having fun. This is where my post comes in. You are thinking outside of the "norm" and you embrace random things that make your life richer and more fun.

I'm sorry, but if you disagree with this then you can never have the depth of relationship to fully satisfy you and are what people refer to as an "AFC". If you disagree with what I'm saying, you'll probably never have a long term relationship, and if you DO you won't be fully happy in that relationship.

No, I agree. It's a very cliche list of romantic gestures. Yeah, it may get an immediate response but the long term value of these things are minimal, thus the need to do these types of things frequently. I stick to more personalized gestures which resonates with a woman for a very long time. Then again, I'm not dating teenie-boppers who mostly look for many, immediate gratifications.

How are the things that I've said designed towards "teenie-boopers"?

Secondly, why do you have this notion that women, on the inside, are any different in high school as opposed to women in their 40's or 50's. Sure, there is a lot of maturity there, and the list I made is probably geared towards younger women, but at the end of the day she will always have that one need: THE NEED TO FEEL WANTED, LOVED, AND THOUGHT ABOUT.

 

[amoka]

things to buy her;


box of condoms (make sure you wrap it u nicely - with a bow)

I like that...

 

[mrRuckus]

See, you're viewing this is a "chore" and you SHOULDN'T THINK LIKE THAT.

It becomes a chore when it's expected all the time because they have no self esteem and need constant reassurance and even when you do sh1t all the time they still claim that you do not while they themselves hardly ever do ANYTHING like they expect of you. Then they might throw the "you're the man. you are supposed to do these things, not me" sexism in your face.

AND they completely ignore the MOST IMPORTANT GESTURES when they have child-like minds. For the most part i've noticed a big difference between say 21 year olds and 30 year olds in the appreciation that they give just for being a decent good/nice guy instead of just b1tching about what you DON'T do. I suppose the older women start to realize that you're a rare commodity just by being there and having upstanding morals and being there for her etc instead of oh nos you didn't give me a present the last 2 weeks you must not like me

Basically, you are saying with this post that you feel compelled to buy her something everytime she complains a little (even if she's saying it in a joking manner--trust me if she "jokes" about it, she is wondering for real why you don't do stuff like this for her) is the only time you feel the need to DO something for her, and your definition of "DO" is actually "BUY".

I don't see where I said anything about buying a damn thing. Maybe i did imply that somewhere but i don't think so.

All they care about is ONE THING: Are you thinking of them?

I explicitly said I do do sh1t and then get nothing in return. Why can't I think "are you thinking of me" if they can? They are not GIVING hardly EVER what they expect you to give them every time you turn around.

You aren't really thinking of HER on a holiday, you are thinking of the holiday and the holiday reminds you of a certain list of names that you HAVE to buy for. And to a girl, this isn't anything special, because it's EXPECTED. Then what happens? A guy sees that the girl EXPECTS things, and they get mad thinking she's some kind of gold-digger or materialistic and that simply isn't the case. Think about it. Think of how YOU view holidays. You think the same way. You have an expectation that certain people are going to be buying you things on certain holidays. And if they don't, you wonder what's wrong, right?

Absolutely not. Every one i know knows not to expect anything from me on holidays and they know why. I do not give presents on holidays for exactly the reason you state. Because it's expected so it IS a chore and it's all bullsh1t . I do not give presents on holidays and I tell them not to give me presents on holidays. Everyone has accepted this except my mother who insists on getting me stuff for christmas and my birthday and easter because it brings HER enjoyment regardless of the fact that I don't give her anything.

Go ahead and survey people especially men. They hate having to buy people crap on holidays. Most presents end up being crap anyway because you're forced to find SOMETHING instead of letting it come naturally to you on some random day like april 17th where something hits you and holy sh1t it's something they actually want!

All my gift giving and special treats are reserved as surprises on non-holidays.

Birthdays and valentine's day i make small exceptions for. Small.

A girl wants to know that she is so special to you that you are always thinking about her.

She thinks she wants that.

YOU DO RANDOM THINGS TO SHOW HER THAT YOU ARE THINKING OF HER.

Quid pro quo. They rarely do it back even after you've done it. Strike 3; they're out.

6. Leave a rose on her pillow (JUST ONE), a note on her pillow.

Cliche. Try harder.

2. You do it because she complains (which technically pretty much screws the thread starter her because now if he DOES do something nice for her, she's going to think it was because she got on himh)

LOL. This is where they get you.

Woman complains you don't do anything. 2 possibilities:
1. You do something.
2. You do nothing

and the results:

1. if you do something then you confirm to them that you're a little b1tch and that they should complain more because that gets you to kiss their butts. They also then claim it doesn't count because they "told you to do it." She still doesn't do anything like this for you.

2. if you acknowledge in your mind that you need to do a little more for this one to be content but wait a bit so you're not doing it "just because she told you to" then they get you because they gave you about three fvcking days before b1tching again, resetting the clock of "i should do something."


SOLUTION:
Don't play the game. There is no win. "I quit." Get a girl(game) that is going to do this sort of stuff for you in the first damn place so you're motivated and have fun doing all this stuff. I've had several girlfriends that did do nice and/or romantic things without being asked and they were a blessing. I WANTED to do stuff to reward them and make them smile. But most women do not do special things for you. They want to get get get and only begrudgingly give if they give at all. They think they deserve all this stuff just for showing up. This isn't fvcking wheel of fortune where you get a consolation prize just for being on the show.

I did just get out of a short relationship where she did stuff for me ALL THE TIME without me having to ask. She offered and offered and offered and when I questioned her on it she replied, "everyone deserves to have someone make them number 1 in their life." It ended for other unrelated reasons. But this type of attitude is rare.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...
EVERY WOMAN HAS AN INTRINSIC NEED TO FEEL WANTED, LOVED, AND THOUGHT ABOUT. THE TECHNIQUES YOU USE TO ACCOMPLISH THIS ARE ENTIRELY UP TO YOU.

Agreed, it's called appreciating them.

...How are the things that I've said designed towards "teenie-boopers"?

Secondly, why do you have this notion that women, on the inside, are any different in high school as opposed to women in their 40's or 50's. Sure, there is a lot of maturity there, and the list I made is probably geared towards younger women, but at the end of the day she will always have that one need: THE NEED TO FEEL WANTED, LOVED, AND THOUGHT ABOUT.

Because your list includes all of the "doing" type things that young women crave in order to feel appreciated. Older women who have lived through a relationship or two (or more) of these types of things, fell in love with the guy (so they thought) typically end up breaking up with the guy because this was all that he did before committing and he either stops or the woman becomes bored and need more.

Women experienced in this look for deeper "feeling" gestures from men. They want to know what their guy "feels." The reason is because a guy can easily do little niceties just to keep her happy while feeling completely complacent with the relationship (ever hear the term '7-year itch')? However, if women can get guys to tell them how they feel about them and the relationship, they have a better chance of knowing truthfully how the guy feels about them.

Now I work with typical "teenie boppers" (less than 25 years old) often and the majority base the quality of their relationships by what their guy does for them. This includes all of the stereotypical mindless cliches that any guy can do if he makes half an effort. The thing that is more difficult for both men and women of that age is to get to the grit of their relationships about how they truly feel. That's the tell tale defining factor of the relationship; that and the quality/quantity of sex that they are having.

 

[mrRuckus]

You are going to be a VERY unhappy man if you keep that attitude.

Actually i think i'd be very unhappy if i didn't keep that attitude.

I don't do my job for free.
I don't give strangers *******s for free.

Why the hell should i kiss a woman's ass for free?



See, the problem here is that she has to MAKE me want to do sh1t for her. If i don't want to do things for her then i'm really just not that into her.

And it's not even that hard. I really don't ask for much but women have a hard time even fulfilling that little bit. They have no right to complain until they are GIVING and getting nothing back.


And i'm just peachy right now with this attitude so i don't know why it would end. maybe i'll get old and wrinkly and girls won't talk to me anymore Oh, wait, i'm a man.

 

[Vypros]

The thing that is more difficult for both men and women of that age is to get to the grit of their relationships about how they truly feel. That's the tell tale defining factor of the relationship; that and the quality/quantity of sex that they are having.

lol

You just simply aren't listening to what I am saying, because we pretty much agree. You're just choosing to discount the "cliche" part of my post because you don't think it's important, and it is.

 

[John_Galt]

You can buy her stuff, just as long as it's tasteful. I would buy her a buttplug.

 

[mrRuckus]

EVERY WOMAN HAS AN INTRINSIC NEED TO FEEL WANTED, LOVED, AND THOUGHT ABOUT. THE TECHNIQUES YOU USE TO ACCOMPLISH THIS ARE ENTIRELY UP TO YOU.

I agree.

The question is whether they return this, believe they should return this, and want to return this before expecting that you just hand this stuff over just because they have a vagina and expose it to you every once in a while.

And then there's damage control because even with a good woman, you're eventually going to slip up and ignore her for a little too long because your life got really busy or something and you now have to fix it without rewarding sh1tty behavior.

 

[Vypros]

It becomes a chore when it's expected all the time because they have no self esteem and need constant reassurance and even when you do sh1t all the time they still claim that you do not while they themselves hardly ever do ANYTHING like they expect of you. Then they might throw the "you're the man. you are supposed to do these things, not me" sexism in your face.

AND they completely ignore the MOST IMPORTANT GESTURES when they have child-like minds. For the most part i've noticed a big difference between say 21 year olds and 30 year olds in the appreciation that they give just for being a decent good/nice guy instead of just b1tching about what you DON'T do. I suppose the older women start to realize that you're a rare commodity just by being there and having upstanding morals and being there for her etc instead of oh nos you didn't give me a present the last 2 weeks you must not like me



I don't see where I said anything about buying a damn thing. Maybe i did imply that somewhere but i don't think so.







I explicitly said I do do sh1t and then get nothing in return. Why can't I think "are you thinking of me" if they can? They are not GIVING hardly EVER what they expect you to give them every time you turn around.






Absolutely not. Every one i know knows not to expect anything from me on holidays and they know why. I do not give presents on holidays for exactly the reason you state. Because it's expected so it IS a chore and it's all bullsh1t . I do not give presents on holidays and I tell them not to give me presents on holidays. Everyone has accepted this except my mother who insists on getting me stuff for christmas and my birthday and easter because it brings HER enjoyment regardless of the fact that I don't give her anything.

Go ahead and survey people especially men. They hate having to buy people crap on holidays. Most presents end up being crap anyway because you're forced to find SOMETHING instead of letting it come naturally to you on some random day like april 17th where something hits you and holy sh1t it's something they actually want!

All my gift giving and special treats are reserved as surprises on non-holidays.

Birthdays and valentine's day i make small exceptions for. Small.






She thinks she wants that.






Quid pro quo. They rarely do it back even after you've done it. Strike 3; they're out.





Cliche. Try harder.






LOL. This is where they get you.

Woman complains you don't do anything. 2 possibilities:
1. You do something.
2. You do nothing

and the results:

1. if you do something then you confirm to them that you're a little b1tch and that they should complain more because that gets you to kiss their butts. They also then claim it doesn't count because they "told you to do it." She still doesn't do anything like this for you.

2. if you acknowledge in your mind that you need to do a little more for this one to be content but wait a bit so you're not doing it "just because she told you to" then they get you because they gave you about three fvcking days before b1tching again, resetting the clock of "i should do something."


SOLUTION:
Don't play the game. There is no win. "I quit." Get a girl(game) that is going to do this sort of stuff for you in the first damn place so you're motivated and have fun doing all this stuff. I've had several girlfriends that did do nice and/or romantic things without being asked and they were a blessing. I WANTED to do stuff to reward them and make them smile. But most women do not do special things for you. They want to get get get and only begrudgingly give if they give at all. They think they deserve all this stuff just for showing up. This isn't fvcking wheel of fortune where you get a consolation prize just for being on the show.

I did just get out of a short relationship where she did stuff for me ALL THE TIME without me having to ask. She offered and offered and offered and when I questioned her on it she replied, "everyone deserves to have someone make them number 1 in their life." It ended for other unrelated reasons. But this type of attitude is rare.

I really don't need to make a long post about this, but a couple of things I notice:

1. You are incredibly selfish. (I'm just being honest, I don't mean that as a personal insult towards you--it's more of just an assessment based on your posts thus far, especially this one)

2. You shift all your blame and all the problems that you ahve with a relationship onto the woman and you don't even take the time to analyze yourself to see if there are things YOU need to improve on as well. This is not supplication, this is BETTERING YOURSELF--there IS a difference.

Because of these two qualities, I realize that you'll never really see my point, so I'll respectfully say that we can just agree to disagree on this subject. Why waste both of our time?

Actually i think i'd be very unhappy if i didn't keep that attitude.

I don't do my job for free.
I don't give strangers *******s for free.

Why the hell should i kiss a woman's ass for free?



See, the problem here is that she has to MAKE me want to do sh1t for her. If i don't want to do things for her then i'm really just not that into her.

And it's not even that hard. I really don't ask for much but women have a hard time even fulfilling that little bit. They have no right to complain until they are GIVING and getting nothing back.


And i'm just peachy right now with this attitude so i don't know why it would end. maybe i'll get old and wrinkly and girls won't talk to me anymore Oh, wait, i'm a man.

SHE SHE SHE SHE SHE SHE SHE SHE SHE SHE.

You're posts are littered with that. She needs to do this. She needs to do that. She can do this. Blah blah blah.

WAKE UP!

Snap out of it. See the quote in my sig? allow me to post the full quote:

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!

Take it to heart. Stop concentrating on what SHE needs to do. Concentrate on what you WANT to do, and then find a girl that matches best with that. Concentrate on improving your life, instead of complaining how all the girls don't meet your high standards. Focus on making yourself a better person, and then give of yourself to her (again, don't give and give and give without getting), but you have to learn to give without expecting anything in return. A decent girl will reciprocate. don't sit around and wait for her to do something before YOU do something. That's just petty, man.

 

[Vypros]

I agree.

The question is whether they return this, believe they should return this, and want to return this before expecting that you just hand this stuff over just because they have a vagina and expose it to you every once in a while.

And then there's damage control because even with a good woman, you're eventually going to slip up and ignore her for a little too long because your life got really busy or something and you now have to fix it without rewarding sh1tty behavior.

Do you really have these same exact needs though? I mean, I personally like to think that the woman I am with is thinking about me, but I don't need her to SHOW me that. She can TELL me that and I'd be fine. I think most men are like that. Women need to be SHOWN (and not told) that you are thinking about them.

The need to be loved? Yes, this is in all humans everywhere, so she needs to reciprocate that.

The need to be wanted? Yes, men probably have this need more than women because of our egos.

But at the end of the day men just simply don't have that need to be in their girlfriend's/wive's mind like women do. Which is why men don't care about "gifts". You don't care if she buys you a teddy bear or something, because to us it's just a stupid bear, there's really no meaning behind it. We get more meaning by what she SAYS to us and by her TAKING CARE of us (like cooking, sex, etc.) because of our instincts towards our mothers and the need for motherly care.

Hence, we don't understand why she NEEDS this. We don't understand why a stupid little bear or a flower (or something more random and unique) means so much to her. The answer is that she's hardwired that way. Even a simple GREETING CARD can go a long way with her.

 

[Vypros]

The great pardox of our age is the difference between actions and words. Women have a need to be SHOWN what you are telling her, and in return if you want to know what she's thinking watch how she ACTS.

Men, on the other hand, have a need to be TOLD that we are wanted and you can judge us by what we SAY.