She hates her BF and wants me - but guilty to breakup?

[fight4life]

BTW this is not my first post, my old screename got deleted

This is an interesting one. Long story short, we were REALLY into
each other but things got mixed up and she's now going out with her
friend from the past. We bumped into each other right after they got
back together and let everything out on each other how we REALLY
liked each other, but both held back... I mean she did it before me.
It smashed the tension with a sledge hammer so to speak. Then, we
stopped talking for 2 weeks and I put a present on her doorstep one
night and left without knocking. It was something I bought for her
while we were going out. The idea came to me because she likes non-
needy clingy guys and I wanted to show her how much I cared, so it
was perfect. She called me up immediately, just really thankful. Wow
though, last Wed night she called me up drunk at local hangout. I
showed up talking to friends, she immediately hugged me, took me to
another location to talk, felt my chest, back, knees, hugging, and
just telling me how much her BF is too clingy, doesn't see him as
more than a friend, never hookup, and wants to really be with me.
She said he only compliments her beauty but I always tell her how
sweet she is, intelligent, kind hearted, funny, motivated, etc. Shen
then said she wanted to kiss me really bad but didn't want to hurt
her BF (who she hasn't seen in 3 weeks.)
I really believe she deserves the best guy for her and I believe
that guy is me... I treat her well, care about her, and really value
her for her qualities. Then again, I don't take any **** from her
and stand on my own 2 feet in my life.

The mutual attraction is ALWAYS there (overwhelmingly) , the
comfort/connection is there, but the target is this:
She must come to the decision to break it off with this guy and be
with me. However, she is a very moral girl, very against abortion,
southern girl, etc so it is going to be tough... she told me right
there that it would be the toughest thing in the world for her and
that she's horrible at those things.

So I'm thinking what can I do to get through this sticking point?
Any advice is appreciated.

 

[Crazy Asian]

well just tell her that she HAS to pick either him or you. if she likes you more, she'll dump that guy in a second so she can be with you. or you can talk to the guy and explain how she doesn't want to confront him

 

[dap]

Ok. I think youve made a few bad moves but you are still ok. First, a couple questions: you said she likes the non-needy, clingy types. Isnt this a contradiction. Also, if you arent going out with a girl and you give her a gift (ecspecially in the "romantic" way you did), then you might come off as needy. No matter what, it wont get you anywhere.

And, as far as the drunk dial goes, you should not have went to the bar. If you felt you absolutely must go, you should have went very late or left early. Then, you should not have spent too much time with this girl. It seems to me if she was testing you to see if you were still attached. And she found out. Often times when girls have boyfriends and they flirt with/talk bad about their boyfriends with other guys, they are actually just testing to make sure they still can attract other guys. Then, when they find out, they go back to getting railed by their boyfreinds. If you want this girl, next time she drunk dials you, tell her to call you back when she is sober. Next time you see her at the bar, tell her she should take it easy and then hit on some bar flies. You need to neg her a bit so that she doesnt think she can walk all over you.

Good luck man

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Do you want to **** her or be with her?

 

[So pimp its scary]

Fvck the dirty... I don't mean forget about her but rather stick your penis in her. That'll make up her mind one way or the other, or you'll be her lover and let her keep the bf...

 

[SamRi72]

First off, it all comes down to your code: are you only after her sex or a relationship. If it's all the sex, go for it and don't make her leave her bf. Ay, if you just want sex you could show her what she's missing then vanish. If you fail, so what, she's taken you tried... next! If you succeed, hey you fvcked her, anything else is bonus. If you want to take her bfs place, don't ask me about it. That's my sticking point. Some girls will absolutely refuse to have sex with other guys while in a relationship, but judging by her unhappiness, you might be her excuse to break free.

 

[Hitman10000]

This is all I'm gonna say: It's a trap.

 

[Skilla_Staz]

After reading the title, I've got one statement.


She doesn't want you THAT bad then.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

After reading the title, I've got one statement.


She doesn't want you THAT bad then.

asd

 

[Holland]

After reading the title, I've got one statement.


She doesn't want you THAT bad then.

EXACTLY. Don't let the ATTENTION HO inside of her rule you.
DO NOT BUY HER GIFTS BEFORE SHE HAS SHOWN HERSELF WORTHY!

Dude, you haven't even kissed her.
And why are you even emotionally investing in someone WHO IS TAKEN!

There are LOADS of hot single women out there. Get over this one and go after those who are available. If she REALLY wants you that bad, she'll let you know. Stop wasting time.

 

[fight4life]

HAHA. Okay let me clarify some things:

1.) I use natural game.
2.) I only want relationships. Never had 1 nights stands because I don't get anything out of them.
3.) I'm a very good looking guy, that's why natural game works for me.
4.) Girl to guy ratio at my University is officially 6 to 1. And we're at the beach.
5.) She is a virgin. I'm not after sex.
6.) I was approached by 4 girls last week, they seduced me all I did was # close at right time. Just got out of 2 day 1's today - both girls went through comfort -it's all good ; ).
7.) I'm not arrogant but here it is: Tits, ass, ***** - its always there for me. I don't want that.

I'm a PUA are heart bros. I'm just looking for a solid relationship. I'm 22, straight A student, pre-med, top heavy on morality, natural bodybuilder... there's some of my personality.

Aright. So the target is really her belief system and emotions. I mean this girl is coming after me AFC style now... we almost fvcked on that bar table. And I just laid back DHV'd with other friends I saw and she was all over me. She actually called me back last night. This girl really wants me.

So her belief system and emotions. How can I grip those two so she has the balls to dump this guy... I mean any major decision is an emotional one. That's why I said this is interesting... basic PUA is easy for me (and I love to sarge with every/any PUA - hit me up.) So this is more advanced stuff.

Anybody ever dealt with this before? Shes a really moral girl. I'd love to hear some perspectives on this.

Thanks.

 

[wskbb]

she wants to have the cake and eat it too......
if she really really likes you, she would have dumped him and be w/ u and not telling u
"she wanted to kiss me really bad but didn't want to hurt her BF.

that's just BS.....i'd walk away find other chicks.....it's not worth it bro.

 

[Phyzzle]

Hey wait a second:

Long story short, we were REALLY into each other but things got mixed up and she's now going out with her friend from the past.

Could you make that short story long again? What happened? Women who like you don't "mix things up" to the point where she's seeing other guys.

Another thing: is this the only bf she's ever had? In her life?

No, of course not. She's dated other guys, lost interest, and broke it off with them. Her moral code didn't stop her all those other times. She'll drop him when she loses interest enough.

But wait, I think I have some solid advice for you: the next time you two are having an awesome time together, try saying "you know, this is emotional cheating! I gotta get outta here!" Say it with a smile. "If you want to hang with me, one on one, you should lose the borefriend already." Leave on a high note and don't see her for a week.

You've got to send the message that attention from you means affection from her, you see?

 

[BlackJackal]

Such a common story. Been through this before, and most I made sure to get was a good ****. I sugest you do the same, or stop wasting your time.

 

[ryannath]

22 and natural bodybuilder...are you that guy called m3 something from Newport, Ky I believe? I don't remember that full screen name.

 

[Skilla_Staz]

m3design?

 

[christz]

After reading the title, I've got one statement.


She doesn't want you THAT bad then.

been there done that dude, trust me it ain't worth it if she really liked you she'd dump the chump and move on with YOU, thing is you show restraint she doesn't like that she likes to be in control 100% if you want her. be needy, be AFC be a bytch and cut your balls off and hand them to her on a silver platter. two words come to mind on how she's acting towards you. DAMAGE CONTROL

chances are after all that is said and done you MAY get to bang her once or twice a month while the guy she CLAIMS she's not haveing sex with anymore or whatever crap she told you to spin your head around.. is banging her on a regular basis.

Chances are you and this dude that she's "with" mean nothing to her and she will just veer away from both of you once a set of more AFC and needy guys take your spots.

Let me guess, she compliments you all the time says she wants more but isn't sure about a relationship and everytime you ask what about you and me she says there's a possiblity.

yeah man.. your getting played like a fiddle and she's the musician.

EDIT: I quoted because i agree with the person i quoted to further my statement

 

[fight4life]

Na man, I'm not m3 from KY.

Okay, the reason we broke up was because I'm not AFC. What that means is I'm naturally ****/funny/don't call much. This actually turned this girl off. She was so into me at first that I calibrated to, make her work for it yes but a.) validate her a lot b.) qualify a lot and c.) compliment her a lot. This is because she was REALLY into me at first. Guys in the field say that girls throw themselves at me and what I did initially to screw it up was being more ****y/funny, not validating, etc etc. This is why I switched to natural game and it works a lot better for me. So, all this stuff because she would initiate it and every time I validated her, it escalated... sweeet.
Here's the kicker: She's busy, I'm busy. So I called one day and she never called me back until later that night after work saying she was sorry but really busy. Thought she was playing hard to get so I said na cool, I just got back from having fun, etc. Then again, she didn't answer again and I was like what the hell - stop playing hard to get. But she apologized again that night but did it online, didn't call me about it - weird. So I calibrated to just be more aloof, pump her buying temp, leave, and be more challenging. I did it but nothing really changed, both busy etc but whenever we had the short time we were around each other we made out like no tomorrow and I moved faster into physical escalation with this girl than any girl before... I'm talking about Day 2 fingering, tits, everything BUT sex. She is a virgin mind you and I like that a lot. So, I call her up again before spring break, she doesn't answer but calls me back, leaves me message, I call her back leave her message telling to call me back because I'm busy XXX but let's do something X. She never calls back. So I'm like **** this *****, 3 strikes, not calling for 7 days. It was tough trust me, but I figured she would call because she thnks she's losing me. Never did. So I'm about to facebook her next Monday and I see she's now in a relationship with this other guy, I'm like what the ****, not pissed but told her I had girls that wanted to **** me, at least I had the decency not to **** around on you. Made her feel like **** basically by coming from DHV place of more options, morality, and putting her in her place but not saying I ****ing hate you or anything.
So she emails back and says she reaaaally like me and thought I didn't call her for a week because I wanted to just be friends. Last time we made out at that point was like 3-4 weeks ago. So she then calls me up right after that almost about to cry saying I really liked you, and wish you called every day not every 3 days (my thing I do), I seemed too good for her when I was around her so she thought I only wanted to be friends. So basically we talked on the phone and She right off the bat said this guy she was with is an old friend of hers, downplayed him the whole time. Then, and this is important... she didn't call back again the day after. So I just emailed her saying listen, I think we should part ways and be friends. If you're going to not call back then we need to just be that. No email back, we don't talk for 2 weeks. Then, I put the present on her doorstep and she called me up, did a 180, really connected on the phone, and then she downplayed John again. He didn't even exist to her so I dropped it. Then she calls me up 2 days later, the one at the bar, and that's where I left it in the details above.

By the way, as of now I just texted her a brief message saying I was going out of town this weekend and then she called back and we talked for about 15 mins, rapport, etc, and she is exhausted from school, work, tests, etc. We're both overachievers. I'm in the same boat i.e. school 9am-4pm, lift heavy ass weight 4-5pm, yell at people/personally train them 5-9pm, anything and everything else 9pm-12am till I pass out. So what's good is that she genuinely does like me and really wants to be with me. By the way, she just told me she's going to 2 formals this weekend without her boyfriend and with 2 of her girlfriends - I made light of it and she just said yea, he understands (okay, that's important.) What sucks is that she is spread too thin. Now, so am I, and school, family, etc etc is more important than others. But I place enough value on girls to the point where I MAKE time for it and stick to it. She genuinely likes me but she gets so burned out that it shunts relationships.

Enough details? HAH. Yea, I can write a lot. So there are really two keys here: her emotions, belief system to get the balls (emotional decision) to dump this guy. And 2, I have to get across to this girl that she needs to stop being everything to everyone and place more value on her boyfriend ie I'm not needy whatsoever but if we don't see each other for a week then I'm not gonna do it, know what I mean?

Any points? I think step 1 is just getting this boyfriend out of the way but then after our finals we have this week and boyfriend out of the way, escalate but get across to her that I'm not going to get with her unless she balances herself out.

 

[christz]

dude stop man.. your being blinded by a player she is spinning your head the reason she is all about talking to you after you ganji her is because she is trying to put you back into her web of garbage. She is in DAMAGE CONTROL MODE when she is talking to you about "feelings" and all this and that.

its kinda funny because i once thought this and realized its pointless let me tell you man.. the guy she's with SHE DON'T CARE ABOUT he isn't the problem man.. its HER

think about it, just really think about it! if she wanted to be with you SHE WOULD.. she's playing the feild and its workin because your entrapped her her web of lies and BS.. your being strung along!

reading your post is actully kinda scary man, do yourself a big favor and just drop this girl. your better off this way.. but you won't listen to advice i know this.. but trust me i've been there, lots of guys have and they all find out through time that nothing you do or say will ever work. and eventully you will give up and only then will you realize that was the best move you ever made.

 

[Phyzzle]

I have to say, I was in this exact situation before, but she was no virgin. Whenever she bumped into me, she sang my praises, wanted to make out, and sometimes go back to my place.

Whenever we parted ways, she would BEG me to call her. But she would never answer or call back! Even when she accidentally answered, she was like "oh, um, uuuuuuuuhh, I have a LOT to do, I'll call you right back." That night, I'd see her sitting in a club, doing nothing, suddenly wanting to grope me again the minute she saw me. She never did change. Even though I was getting sex, an HB7 was not worth the disrespectful aggrivation.

Remember, actions, not words.