She has chlamydia

[PectoralisMajor]

Girlfriend calls up today and gives me the news. She's got it from me apparently, so I must have caught it from my last girlfriend 3 months ago. Careless I know.

Anyway cutting to the chase, she's a very sensitive girl and she's p*ssed off, to the point where she says if it damages her fertility she will never forgive me, and that she cant trust me anymore. I asked if our relationship was over, she says she cant think right now.

Yes its my fault, and yes I'm a b@sterd, and i'm going to get tested tomorrow morning at the clinic to confirm.

I'm very concerned and worried about her, she doesnt cope with any issues very well, and obviously she doesnt want to speak to me.

Any advice from people who know what there talking about? How can I play this one out and keep the girl. We were quite serious about one another.

 

[JLW]

if she has difficulty coping with issues is she really the girl for you to begin with? I feel like if she's handling herself in such an aggressive way she doesnt seem all that great.

Don't get me wrong, I'd be PISSED if I got chlamydia, but i dont think i'd take it out on my girlfriend that harshly. It's not like you did it on purpose.

I recommend you just wait for her to call you. she will eventually. Don't go apologizing and asking to talk to her. Just wait it out. She will contact you. It may take a while but she will.

When she does finally talk to you just explain to her simply that you did not know that you had it and that its a shame that she got it also. It's not as though you gave it to her on purpose. It's okay for her to be upset about it and I guess she needs to put the blame on someone (and you are obviously the best candidate since you are the source), but I think it would be very unfair if she broke up with you over a CURABLE disease.

would you break up with someone if they gave you the flu?

PS, i dont know much about chlamydia, but how the heck do you not know if you have it?

PPS, if you in fact test negative for chlamydia i would be very skeptical as to whether she has "been elsewhere" if you know what i mean.

 

[oh yes.swayay]

heh, I don't have much experience with anything like THAT. But if you two are serious about each other I think this would be a good opportunity to show her that you can handle a curveball. Take control of the situation and let her know that everything will be alright. Give her the idea that you'll always know what to do when a problem comes up. The way any serious relationship becomes stronger is by both of you getting through an obstacle that threatens the relationship.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

Cheers guys for the heads up. She's quite angry now so give it a while and we'l see where we are.

Yes she can be attacking and harsh, and yes she is over sensitive, but she also has some fantastic points and you have to look at both sides, plus there's a spark there, or there was.

The symptoms for the girl can be a burning sensation when urinating (same for the guy), mid cycle spotting, pelvic pains and some other ones that I now forget.

I just hope that 3 months isnt too long and it wont have done any damage to her...

 

[LostAndConfused]

If it were herpes simplex whatever....That would be a different story. That sh1t stays with you for the rest of your life.

I hope you didn't do anything sexual AFTER she made the call, it would be a good way to determine her fidelity.

Seriously man, did you get tested? Don't call your self a b@stard beforehand......

 

[penkitten]

most of the time , males do not have any symptoms to chlamydia, and therefore do not know they have it. so in turn, you can blame the last chick you were with, because sooner or later , she had all the symptoms and she never called you to tell you to go to the dr and get a shot in your peter or take some antibotic pills .
you see how the cycle of stds are now.

you would not have caught it wearing a rubber, so from now on, wrap it up brother.
antibiotics can get expensive and next time it might be something worse.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Maybe, she cheated on you and the blame is on her now! I bet you didn't think of that did you? Don't take the blame too quick.

so I must have caught it from my last girlfriend 3 months ago. Careless I know.

You must have got it from her? Are you sure; has she been tested?

So, IF you did give your girlfriend the clap... Only thing you can really do is say; "I sincerely apologize to you. I had no idea I had it and I got it from my previous girlfriend." and whatever else you wanna say... Good luck.

 

[Sandow]

how would you feel if she gave it to you?

I think ur lucky she's still around.

 

[JLW]

Maybe, she cheated on you and the blame is on her now!

Major +1 here.

AND TALK ABOUT A CANIVING MOVE on her part if that is the case.

but if you get tested negative, then i would be quite skeptical.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

Thats me tested and treated. The results will come in 2 weeks.

It was a urine test she gave for claymidia, and I had one of those 4 months ago. It came back negative.

So here's the low down, she had a test after her last partner, came back negative, and I rekon I had a test either during or just after my last partner and it was clear.

Something doesnt add up, and she's not the type to cheat or be dishonest, although 95% of girls are ha.

The ex girlfriend is clearly a biaaaatch for not saying anything. chicks.....

 

[WesCottII]

LOL.

Dude, although this has been raised, you believed her POINT BLANK, that you gave it her?

Women will blame EVERYTHING (the weather, the dog, their shoes, you), before admitting blame themselves.

I'm not saying she's a lying little *****, but I'd be inclined to make sure you're the guilty party before you start doing pennance.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

Something doesnt add up, and she's not the type to cheat or be dishonest, although 95% of girls are ha.

lol I should intoduce you to my 20yo FB who I've been banging for nearly 2 years. She's been dating the same guy for 5 years. It's amazing how sneaky she can be. She parks in my garage, comes by for no more than 45 minutes. Takes his phone calls ...actually.. all of my FB's will take their bf's call while at my house.

Oh, years ago I had an 18yo FB tell me she contracted an STD. I got tested and came back negative. Also, I caught one from a 20yo girl when I was 27. She denied it giving it to me.

 

[MacAvoy]

I've been in this situation but it was much later in the LTR. We went through a rough patch, I thought we broke up, had a ONS that same weekend. Got clamydia, ended up getting back with the g/f. She got it, after that there was no taking me back.

The best thing to do right now is to what you've done. Admit to your mistake, that it happened before you and her were together and give her space. Just take some time to yourself, say a month before you start dating again.

If she doesn't come to you within a month, then move on. However if she is a good women and truly likes you and you give her space and time to miss you, then she will come back to you, but you have to give her space to make her miss you and realize that your a good guy and made a mistake.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

Some hopefully sound advice above.

No word from her today, and i've not been in touch. I'm genuinely concerned and worried for her, and I'm also worrying that being apart is her removing her emotional attachment from me and our relationship.

Keeping busy with the gym and my second job.

b@lls to the whole thing, it sucks. We should be giving each other support, not moving in opposite directions.

 

[MacAvoy]

b@lls to the whole thing, it sucks. We should be giving each other support, not moving in opposite directions.

You have to remember that you've broken her trust. She gave you major trust allowing you to have sex with her without a condom and you gave her a VENEREAL DISEASE.

This is something women or men (STD) should never have to experience. There is no reason for it besides stupidity. You violated the trust she gave you, its that simple.

Granted it wasn't your fault, ok maybe it was, but it wasn't malicious, it was just stupidity. You should learn from this and always use condoms unless you've been committed to a women for over 3 months, then both get tested.

Trust me, give her, her space. Don't contact her to tell her your concerned, you don't need to be, its not a big deal, she's not going to die. Realistically, it would take a lot longer for any serious damage to happen. If you don't believe me, ask a doctor.

And if something serious happens, who cares, she won't forgive you, you can take your meds and move on with your life.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

Aye your right, the trust was broken.

She phoned last evening, wanting to break up. Cut a long story short after an hour of working my emotional magic on the phone, she's changed her mind and I may just survive to fight this one out yet.

She said because I didnt text or call, she thought it was over. Chicks...they come out with all sorts of stuff, they really are game players. They say one thing, and mean another. Lets suppose I had texted or called expressing my concern and worry, would she have definately cut ties with me - we'l never know, but she probably would have.

She continues to test me, for instance last Friday she was in a huff about something and it turned out it was because she wanted to tell me she loved me ha..seems she was p1ssed I hadnt said it already to her.

Anyway, we've both taken our meds. Turns out I got treated a few hours before her - bonus point to me as I found out after her... The nurse who I showed my bishop to wasnt all that bad looking either ahem.

Cheers for the advice boys.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

Quids in...

we met today for lunch and it went good. plenty of cuddles and kisses.

I might have caught that swerving ball that was thrown my way after all.

The only minor thing is, I'm still not totally happy that if we have a problem, she will 95% of the time consider splitting up. anyw work arounds to this to make the women more likely to stick around, other than bettering yourself?

A fast recovery when I thought it might be weeks, or not at all.

 

[MacAvoy]

Ok, you've made it past the hurdle, now comes the hard part. It is key, one of my wingmen, went through this, he broke her trust, granted it was different, he cheated on her, but the point is, how you handle it from here will determine the rest of your relationship.

You have to stand your ground and never allow her to bring it up again. If she ever brings it up again, you have to give her the boot. You can not allow her to hold it over your head, otherwise the relationship is dead.

She will have total power and control over you. This is where you must stand strong as a man, yes you made a mistake and admit it, but you can't let it have control over you.

I can't stress it enough.