She forgot my birthday....

[FM 3321]

I had my birthday last week and what surprised me is that several of my closest friends, my brother and one of my sisters didn't call me that day. I was honestly upset about that but I stayed quiet and let it pass and decided I wouldn't hold any grudges on them. As the week went on the belated calls came in with very apologetic belated happy birthdays. I was glad that they called but I had to remind one of my friends who's getting married this weekend that he forgot my birthday and he seemed more upset about it than I was....so I calmed him down and let him know it was cool.

To get to the heart of the matter there is this girl who I'm going to my friends wedding with this weekend as a date since she asked me (she's a friend of the bride) and although I hate to say it I've had a huge crush on her that I haven't been able to shake off for a while. She didn't contacted me for my birthday and I feel betrayed by that since I gave her some candy for her last birthday.

I'm going to be seeing her all weekend and I don't want to have these bad feelings towards her about forgetting my birthday. I'm not sure whether or not I should act like I don't care about it when I see her or let her know beforehand that she forgot. If I let her know beforehand how should I let her know? For my friend who's getting married he called me last week and as we were talking I told him "hey, I was a little sad that I didn't hear from you on my birthday." I'm not sure if that approach will work with this girl because I don't want to come off as whiny.....but I do feel whiny victim about it....and maybe this post sounds whiny too. I'm battling inside on how a mature man would deal with this situation despite all the negative emotional feelings I'm feeling from this.

Thanks in advance for the replies.

 

[LeftyLoosey]

Okay - only women care whether or not other people remember their birthday.

If you mention it to this girl she'll think exactly what you said she will - that you're a whiny girly-man.

 

[##17]

If your thread is an indication of how you come across in real life, you seem kind of whiney. And whiney people don't get a lot of love thrown their way. Women (people, actually) admire men who handle things in stride. By letting everyone know that they forgot your birthday, you're coming across as an emotional little boy.

Your friends forgetting your birthday isn't the real issue here. The bigger issue is how they treat you the other 364 days. And if it always seems that you are being blown off, it's probably because you're coming across as needy or something.

So to answer your question, no, you shouldn't bring it up to that girl. You'll only come across as a loser if you do. And don't buy girls gifts for their birthday unless you are sleeping with them!

 

[##17]

I'm also a little confused here. The girl you have a crush on asked you as a date to go to the wedding, and you're complaining about how she forgot your birthday? Huh??

Talk about focusing on something totally unproductive. I'd be thinking instead about how much fun it would be to make something happen with her.

 

[FM 3321]

Okay - only women care whether or not other people remember their birthday.

If you mention it to this girl she'll think exactly what you said she will - that you're a whiny girly-man.

But I want her to know that I love her and I care about her missing my birthday. I need to tell her this. It's not fair that I wished her a happy birthday and she didn't wish me back. I'm gonna throw a hissy fit and throw cake in her face when I see her. :cuss:






Kidding aside, you pose some great points. I couldn't imagine a strong mature man getting upset over something as small as this so I'll do just that. Thanks for your input, just that little bit really helped a lot.

 

[FM 3321]

If your thread is an indication of how you come across in real life, you seem kind of whiney. And whiney people don't get a lot of love thrown their way. Women (people, actually) admire men who handle things in stride. By letting everyone know that they forgot your birthday, you're coming across as an emotional little boy.

Your friends forgetting your birthday isn't the real issue here. The bigger issue is how they treat you the other 364 days. And if it always seems that you are being blown off, it's probably because you're coming across as needy or something.

So to answer your question, no, you shouldn't bring it up to that girl. You'll only come across as a loser if you do. And don't buy girls gifts for their birthday unless you are sleeping with them!

Hmmmm.....more good points I'll keep in mind. I've been feeling a little off balance lately so it's good to read something like this to get myself back on track. Also you're right about sending gifts since I haven't slept with her yet, another rule I've forgotten along the way. Thanks to you as well for this post. I talked to this girl yesterday without bringing up my birthday so it's good to know that I didn't have to learn about this the hard way. Also I haven't said anything to her about it because I couldn't find a way to bring it up without sounding like a wuss. Lesson learned.

I'm also a little confused here. The girl you have a crush on asked you as a date to go to the wedding, and you're complaining about how she forgot your birthday? Huh??

Talk about focusing on something totally unproductive. I'd be thinking instead about how much fun it would be to make something happen with her.

Yes.....it's a bit silly when you think of it. It will be a fun weekend so I'll focus on having fun with her and my friends.

 

[iqqi]

I'd casually mention in conversation somewhere that your birthday was a few days ago. When she gets upset that she forgot it, tell her she can take you out for a drink later in the week.

 

[Knight's Cross]

FM, Iqqi has good intentions, yet she's a ....well ...she. Notice how she says what "SHE" would do. OK so do you want to do what a woman would do? Or do you want to man up and realize that a chick that's not as into you would forget your birthday. Either way, realize that only chicks really make a big deal out of this kinda stuff. To a man, a birthday is just a day. Walk it off buddy.

KC

 

[iqqi]

FM, Iqqi has good intentions, yet she's a ....well ...she. Notice how she says what "SHE" would do. OK so do you want to do what a woman would do? Or do you want to man up and realize that a chick that's not as into you would forget your birthday. Either way, realize that only chicks really make a big deal out of this kinda stuff. To a man, a birthday is just a day. Walk it off buddy.

KC

That is what I would do... if I was HIM. With a H.

Exactly what you said, CHICKS make a big deal out of these things, and when she realizes she missed HIS, then she will make a big deal out of it and HE can get another date... on HER.

Doh.

I'm OUT. Can't believe a 37 year old MAN is still on that "she's a well... she" tip. Solid advice is solid advice. I can pick up a chick better than more than half the guys on this forum.

 

[DJ Noble]

I can pick up a chick better than more than half the guys on this forum.

 

[jophil28]

I can pick up a chick better than more than half the guys on this forum.

Yeah, I bet that they would love your moustache.

 

[Nelford]

People I known for 20 years forget my B-Day, but it only takes one person to call and say it and one my friends never forget no matter what like he got it written on his calendar for life. People these days got so much going on they will forget how old they are.

My female friends will remind me on the sly every time I speak to them and I still forget.

 

[Apollo]

Your 28...who cares if this girl forgot your birthday. It sounds like you aren't that close yet for her to call you up and say happy b-day. My opinion, you are getting worked up about nothing. If you get hung up on this you'll blow your chance with the girl.

 

[thedeparted]

FWIW, all three girls I went out with recently remembered my birthday and bought me gifts. I was really surprised. I didn't even recall mentioning it. However, it felt like they were trying to buy me off. Like, since they got me a gift, I owed them something. So, it lowered my interest level in them.

To apply that to your case, be happy the chick didn't get you anything as she still feels like a challenge. And make sure you don't get her a birthday gift unless she's your GF.

 

[FM 3321]

Thanks for the latest replies. I'm totally over it now and it looks like I had a "wuss" moment and was feeling insecure about everything. I had a feeling deep down that mentioning it to her was going to fvck things up in some way and now I realize why.

This was a whiny thread and yet I'm glad I made it did because I've learned something interesting about myself and can now move forward and deal with it. There should be more important things in life for a man to be concerned about than why someone forgot their birthday.

 

[cordoncordon]

I'd casually mention in conversation somewhere that your birthday was a few days ago. When she gets upset that she forgot it, tell her she can take you out for a drink later in the week.

Excellent advice here.

Go with it.

 

[Truebrit]

Yeah, I bet that they would love your moustache.

lol