She flakes... what's a good, secure response that says all the right things?

[Vice]

So I asked a girl out for a bit of coffee tomorrow, and there's a chance she may flake.

Anyway, I'm expecting her to do so, and I told her to let me know early because I'm going up to a club to party if she doesn't let me know early.

She apparently has to help her neighbor put up Halloween decorations... lamest excuse I've heard yet. Especially if she knew about it two days in advance.

Anyway, what's a good, secure reply if she decides to flake? She's busy this weekend with singing stuff as well, so when would be a good time to contact her again?

I know it seems that I'm over analyzing, but I need to know this for NEXT time it happens with another girl down the road as well.

 

[Vice]

Any more suggestions?

 

[Lust]

The best response is a no response.

Don't respond to it, go on to your party and forget about this chick. Should she re-initiate contact, you should have forgotten all about the incident and as it is no big deal. That conveys all the right messages.

Notice I didn't say "act" like you've forgotten and act as "if" it was no big deal.

This actually has to be true for it to be of any use, you can only fake it till so far.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Dealing with a current situation in which the girl left me hangin' at a coffee shop today and took several hours to text an apology...just keep a "whatever" attitute, and don't plan anything to do with them in the future. I told the girl I'm dealing with I'll see her around, I'll be civil when I see her (though I keep any sort of caht VERY short), but she's no longer of interest to me.

 

[Mr. Me]

"what's a good, secure response that says all the right things?"

Doing anything AFTER she flakes is like closing the barn door after the cow has left. It's too late.

A woman who flakes isn't that interested. So, if she doesn't care, then why would anything you say mean anything to her? You're expecting a woman who doesn't care to care?

In fact, if you say anything at all, no matter how suave or cool or right you think your words are, the underlying message she gets is this: "I'm obviously more into you then you are into me. So much so, that you're able to not show and you're okay with that, but I'm not. That's why I'm bothering with calling you under this guise of being Mr. Cool, even though you've already demonstrated your disregard for me." It also sends the message that you've got nothing else going for you.

Showing her that it didn't bother you, THAT would be the way to go, right? Well, the only way to show her that it didn't register with you is to not contact her at all and move on.

 

[f283000]

Vice, just use the 2 strikes rule.

if she was interested in you romantically she wouldn't have flaked with you the first time. Maybe a woman has some true reasons to flake the first time so we give them the benefit of the doubt. You ask them out again and if you don't end up on a date with her after the second attempt....NEXT!

it is hard for guys to give up sometimes even though women in some situations are easy to figure out and this one is it. If a woman is interested in you sexually she will make time for you and go out with you the first time you ask, simple as that. If she flakes on you twice that is enough for you to forget about her.

of course some guys give just 1 strike and i totally understand them but a lot of those guys are djs, the rest of us that have to work hard to get dates and it is a rare thing for us, it is normal to try to salvage anything we can.