She flakes, then comes back for attention

[bigneil]

This is a phenomenon for which I coined the term Dump Echo.

When a woman has feelings for you, they have a life of their own. She can logically or physically end things, but her feelings will keep going, like the crash test dummy, after the relationship vehicle stops. For this reason, after she breaks up with you, she checks back in later, due mainly to habit.

By preparing for her final lunge toward you that is the dump echo, you have one last chance to get her, but it's a slim one.

 

[way2smart]

She flaked AGAIN tonight when she texted me asking if I wanted to hang out since she flaked last night. When I replied telling her sure, she ignored and flaked again.

That's your major mistake. You are too available!
When she asked you to hang out, you should have said that you are going on a date with another girl and you should have told her you can hang out but on next Friday.

Why in the world would you say "YES SURE" immediately every single time even though she flakes you several times?

Either way, you are done with this girl, move on. And it was all your mistake not hers.

 

[Meisterman]

This is a phenomenon for which I coined the term Dump Echo.

When a woman has feelings for you, they have a life of their own. She can logically or physically end things, but her feelings will keep going, like the crash test dummy, after the relationship vehicle stops. For this reason, after she breaks up with you, she checks back in later, due mainly to habit.

By preparing for her final lunge toward you that is the dump echo, you have one last chance to get her, but it's a slim one.

In what way is there to be "prepared" for this. It seems the best course of action at that point is just to ignore her.

 

[bigneil]

Correct Meisterman. Hence it's a slim chance. I imagine however that if handled perfectly (i.e., you're banging her little sister by that point), she will still want you back. Or, if you bump into her (or she contacts you) when she is drunk one night. WARNING: They are super-sensitive at this point and anything you say will likely become (in her own perverted logic) "the reason the ended it".

 

[Stugots26]

I think the "Dump Echo" is a great way to look at it.

One of my long-distance plates just ended things today. She still really likes me but life stages, other excuses, blah blah. She was already talking about checking back in down the line.

I told her that if she thinks she'll be checking back in down the line then I'm expecting her to get her a$$ to my city and make the effort or I'm not interested at all. She agreed and we got off the phone. She sounded like she wanted to cry, and was calling me "honey" even as we said goodbye. I don't think they expect you to so easily agree with the breakup, which is the first step in setting them off-balance.

I have no doubt that this one will be back, as she's still liking my posts on facebook, I just got hired at a new firm by my mentor and I'm practicing exactly the law I went to school for, and everything is lining up. Plus, my birthday is two months away and there's lots more updates on social media that will be great for me, so she'll be thinking of me like crazy.

The key is maintaining my frame. If she's walking away now, she's going to have to work even harder when she wants back in. It's okay to respond if she reaches out, but you just assume that she wants to see you and try to make plans. In my case, I'll respond with something like, "Great to hear from you. So when were you thinking of coming to [my city]?" then if she doesn't talk about meeting up, or gets flaky or makes excuses, you say you've got to go, and tell her to keep in touch. In other words, if she's the one who ended things, she's got to make the effort to see you again or she loses you forever. If she's unwilling to, it's sad, but you'll move on.

Plus, when she wants back in, any good attorney knows that proper negotiation means you don't accept the same terms when one party cancels a contract. There's got to be something even better on the table, better terms, before the canceled-on party will accept the new terms. Even after you get what you want on your terms, you have to be willing to walk away.

 

[mikey2012]

I think the "Dump Echo" is a great way to look at it.

One of my long-distance plates just ended things today. She still really likes me but life stages, other excuses, blah blah. She was already talking about checking back in down the line.

I told her that if she thinks she'll be checking back in down the line then I'm expecting her to get her a$$ to my city and make the effort or I'm not interested at all. She agreed and we got off the phone. She sounded like she wanted to cry, and was calling me "honey" even as we said goodbye. I don't think they expect you to so easily agree with the breakup, which is the first step in setting them off-balance.

I have no doubt that this one will be back, as she's still liking my posts on facebook, I just got hired at a new firm by my mentor and I'm practicing exactly the law I went to school for, and everything is lining up. Plus, my birthday is two months away and there's lots more updates on social media that will be great for me, so she'll be thinking of me like crazy.

The key is maintaining my frame. If she's walking away now, she's going to have to work even harder when she wants back in. It's okay to respond if she reaches out, but you just assume that she wants to see you and try to make plans. In my case, I'll respond with something like, "Great to hear from you. So when were you thinking of coming to [my city]?" then if she doesn't talk about meeting up, or gets flaky or makes excuses, you say you've got to go, and tell her to keep in touch. In other words, if she's the one who ended things, she's got to make the effort to see you again or she loses you forever. If she's unwilling to, it's sad, but you'll move on.

Plus, when she wants back in, any good attorney knows that proper negotiation means you don't accept the same terms when one party cancels a contract. There's got to be something even better on the table, better terms, before the canceled-on party will accept the new terms. Even after you get what you want on your terms, you have to be willing to walk away.

You're better off moving on. By the time she comes back you'll have another chick already z

 

[Meisterman]

I think the "Dump Echo" is a great way to look at it.

One of my long-distance plates just ended things today. She still really likes me but life stages, other excuses, blah blah. She was already talking about checking back in down the line.

I told her that if she thinks she'll be checking back in down the line then I'm expecting her to get her a$$ to my city and make the effort or I'm not interested at all. She agreed and we got off the phone. She sounded like she wanted to cry, and was calling me "honey" even as we said goodbye. I don't think they expect you to so easily agree with the breakup, which is the first step in setting them off-balance.

I have no doubt that this one will be back, as she's still liking my posts on facebook, I just got hired at a new firm by my mentor and I'm practicing exactly the law I went to school for, and everything is lining up. Plus, my birthday is two months away and there's lots more updates on social media that will be great for me, so she'll be thinking of me like crazy.

The key is maintaining my frame. If she's walking away now, she's going to have to work even harder when she wants back in. It's okay to respond if she reaches out, but you just assume that she wants to see you and try to make plans. In my case, I'll respond with something like, "Great to hear from you. So when were you thinking of coming to [my city]?" then if she doesn't talk about meeting up, or gets flaky or makes excuses, you say you've got to go, and tell her to keep in touch. In other words, if she's the one who ended things, she's got to make the effort to see you again or she loses you forever. If she's unwilling to, it's sad, but you'll move on.

Plus, when she wants back in, any good attorney knows that proper negotiation means you don't accept the same terms when one party cancels a contract. There's got to be something even better on the table, better terms, before the canceled-on party will accept the new terms. Even after you get what you want on your terms, you have to be willing to walk away.

It's not sad at all. I feel great.

And she didn't end things. She asked ME to hang out. I gave her a chance and agreed, and she flaked. That's not "ending things." That's me giving her a chance and her failing to meet my expectations. So when she comes back I won't give her the attention she craves.

She can only end it on top if I chase her or show any sadness at all from her leaving. Which isn't going to happen. I can't lower myself for someone who failed to meet the bar I set. As mikey said, it's time to move on. Having any attachment what so ever to this chick overseas is sad and pathetic. In the end it's going to be HER hamster that is spinning, not mine.

 

[Stugots26]

Oh don't worry buds, I'm moving on. This is just one of my plates.

There's not a single woman who I know who has never gotten back in touch with me. It's just not something that happens to me. I can always cut bait and walk away.

When you know how to read signals and eject completely, you can control the Dump Echo and still get some lays.

And it's not overseas, we're both Americans in different cities. Plus she's a rich b1tch, she can afford it if she wants to make the trip.

 

[Meisterman]

I was talking about me Stugots lol

 

[Stugots26]

Ah ok. Good luck - you've got everything inside you that you need to be successful with the type of women who will treat you well. :rockon:

 

[mikey2012]

Oh don't worry buds, I'm moving on. This is just one of my plates.

There's not a single woman who I know who has never gotten back in touch with me. It's just not something that happens to me. I can always cut bait and walk away.

When you know how to read signals and eject completely, you can control the Dump Echo and still get some lays.

And it's not overseas, we're both Americans in different cities. Plus she's a rich b1tch, she can afford it if she wants to make the trip.

Tame the bish by fvcking her in the ass. Once you do that you will own them.