This post here is a perfect example of how texting can harm relationships, or the feelings associated with them. Allow him to demonstrate the texting mistakes:
Giants1446 said:
I was going away to DC for a week and she said we could meet when i get back.(which is a week away) so far so good. So to keep me in her mind, i started texting her and we would have these casual texts going on throughout the day.
This is mistake #1. Your logical thought process is that, in order to keep you on her mind, you need to be in contact with her everyday. In fact, the OPPOSITE is true: you will stay on her mind MORE if you LIMIT your contact with her while out of town. No, it's not rude, and no, she won't suddenly forget you. Think about this logically: were you not to contact this chick for a week, would you come back into town and suddenly forget who she was? Same thing with her, dude. Plus, when you're NOT contacting her, all she's going to be thinking about is how she can't WAIT to hear from/see you again.
On the other hand: if she's hearing from you every day via text, she has no time to miss you - and a girl's brain needs time to NOT see or hear from you so it can work it's nostalgia muscle and build up her interest in you by reminiscing about how great she feels whenever she's around you.
Giants1446 said:
When i reminded her about our upcoming date...
Mistake number two: NO REMINDING OF DATES. Once you set the date up, you just wait for the day of the date to go to her and pick her up. A girl that likes you and wants to spend time with you won't forget about a date, and therefore doesn't need to be reminded. Also, the probability of flaking actually increases when you text a girl reminding her about a date. It's similar to a rule they have in sales which states "once you make the sale, stop talking. Don't go back in there and re-ask for an order you've already goten 'cause they're more likely to have 'buyer's remorse' and change their minds." Once you had the date set, you should have gone out of town, not talked to her, got back and showed up for the agreed upon date and time.
Giants1446 said:
...she replied that she has to see because her friend is going to Miami.
Mistake #3: as soon as she said this, it was what I call the "prep for a flake." Most girls will usually give a pre-flake excuse if they're going to flake, like "Well, maybe, I have to check my schedule first because..." or "Hmm, I'll have to see because..." When you hear these things, YOU need to be the one to cut the date first: "Hmm, sounds like you're busy - let's reschedule for a day that's more definite." In short, you're telling her you're not setting up a "maybe" date. Plus, if you ask her for a more definite date and she's still saying things like "Hmm, I dunno, my week is looking kinda busy..." or some other excuse that involves her not setting a definite day and time, it means she's OUT.
Giants1446 said:
All i responded was that i was looking forward and that she was a good friend( to her friend).
Mistake number 4: NEVER REWARD A WOMAN THAT FLAKED ON YOU WITH A COMPLIMENT - it only makes her feel like what she's doing is okay.
Giants1446 said:
she then offered to meet on monday. the thing is, i have a feeling that she feels bad and wants to just go on a "pity" date which i will never do.
Mistake number 5 - and this is REALLY where texting does damage - is that you're assuming an emotion based on an invite she sent you via text. All you read was "we can meet up Monday" and you placed 1000 different negative assumptions on it. Why? You weren't able to hear her vocal inflection, or maybe she sent it to you with a period at the end of the sentence, which usually comes off a lot harsher than normal... or she was driving and only had time to type out a short message like "sorry lets do monday" which didn't have any emoticons or emotion in it to indicate if the invite was genuine or pity...
The bottom line is, YOU DO NOT REALLY KNOW THE EMOTION BEHIND IT BECAUSE IT WAS THROUGH TEXT. You would have been better making a phone call, or doing a skype chat, or waiting until you got back in town to talk to her in person - but since you didn't, the WORST thing you can do is assume an emotion based on a system of communication that is emotionlesss. So, what's the course of action? (a) Assume NOTHING other than the words she sent you, (b) go on the friggin' Monday date, and (c) stop over-thinking and obsessing about what the emotion behind the text COULD be - that's what women do.
