She flaked and the 2hrs later texted excuse?

[Iggy69]

So I set this date for today 3 days prior, she had agreed than. I don't contact her at all for the days in between until the day of the date and I call her an hour and a half before we're suppose to get up and she doesn't answer.

I'm thinking ok she lost interest or wasn't that interested, so I delete the number and basically next her. 2 hours (1 hr after we were suppose to get up) she text me what I'm up too and just text back that I was at a friends house chillin watching tv and ask her the same, she says she had a long day and some other stuff. So after some small talk and after about 3 text later I stop texting her, almost seem like she was seeing how long I would keep the text game up with her, which is not me, I usually send a couple of text and don't use it as a way to build to much rapport.

Well obviously she knew she flaked on the date, but still text me back to keep me in the loop, I didn't make a deal out of it, I didn't even bring it up that she flaked, but she didn't even have a counter offer and I don't know if she was waiting for me to make another offer, but I didn't and pretty much stop texting at the beginning of a text conversation that could have gone very long. She was also the last to send a text.

What do I do? Is the ball in her court now and is it now her job to make an offer to hang out or should I make another offer in a few days?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

What was her excuse that she text you later?


Use the two strike rule. Wait a few days, hit her up; banter for a bit and then set up another date.

If she doesn't agree or flakes out, she's done NC from there on.

However one tip I will give you is to stop setting dates up 3 or more days in advance.

If you set up a date, call 1-2 days before max; any longer than that and I've found flake percentage to go up incrementally by each day unless you have already phucked the girl or she has incredibly high interest.








PIMP

 

[Iggy69]

Well really there was no excuse, just that she text she had a really long day which I took as an excuse although I didn't bring up that she flaked, but she knew she did and I just took it as an excuse her knowing that she had flaked.

 

[bluenorther]

Texting should be illegal.

 

[Igetit!]

So I set this date for today 3 days prior, she had agreed than. I don't contact her at all for the days in between until the day of the date and I call her an hour and a half before we're suppose to get up and she doesn't answer.

I'm thinking ok she lost interest or wasn't that interested, so I delete the number and basically next her. 2 hours (1 hr after we were suppose to get up) she text me what I'm up too and just text back that I was at a friends house chillin watching tv and ask her the same.....

Let me see if I got this straight......


You set up a date with a girl 3 days in advance.

You called her THE DAY of the date,like an hour and a half before the date was supposed to take place.

She didn't answer,but rather texted you,basically at the time the date was supposed to be happening.

She asked you what you were up to,and you said you were at a friend's house,you asked her what she was up to,and she said she'd had a long day,etc,etc....and NEITHER ONE OF YOU said anything about the date you two were supposed to be on.


I don't understand this.....WHY didn't you bring up the date?


If I'd been you,when she text me asking what I was up to,I'd have told her I was all dressed up,lookin' sharp for the date we were SUPPOSED to be on,then I'd have asked her what happened with her


She ain't stupid,asking you what you were up to at the SAME TIME the date was supposed to be taking place. And both of you ignored it,like it was a game of chess,each one of you waiting for the other to make a move/be the first to bring up it up.



If you still like this girl,I don't see how you plan to get a date with her if the subject of dating never comes up.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

She's not interested. Flaking before a date, or on a date means ZERO interest.

She is one of those sick girls who gets an orgasm from getting attention. And she has no will to reciprocate.

Delete her number and move on. Pretend she doesn't exist. And if she ever texts you again, ask "who is this? Do I know you?". It will drive her crazy.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

This scenario is dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb...

You made the rookie mistake of calling a girl BEFORE the date. Dumb. Shows no confidence. You make the date and, on the day of, show up. Simple stuff. Unless she (a) has Alzheimer's or (b) has low interest, she will remember the date.

More importantly, you almost WANT her to flake on the date. That way, you can see where her interest is in you.

Here's why calling beforehand - especially in this scenario - was a bad idea"

1. You call her up, she doesn't pick up, so you assume she's not interested in the date anymore. No bueno. People don't pick up their phones for a LOT of reasons. I was at a TV show taping yesterday where they tell you NOT to answer your phone while they're filming. Any calls I got during that time would have to go to voicemail. She herself could have been doing a number of other things during that time that would not have allowed her to answer her phone.

And yet, she could have STILL BEEN WAITING FOR THE DATE.

2. She text you an hour after the date was supposed to happen. In my mind, that means she was probably still WAITING ON YOU to meet her/pick her up for the date. That's why she reached out to you, to see what the heck was going on, or to see if YOU lost interest in wanting to go out with her.

Unfortunately, women have a thing they do where they don't always want to be so direct, less they sound like they're nagging. So, instead of saying something like "It's been an hour, why aren't you here for our date?!?" she'd go with something more subtle, like... "So, what are you up to?"

3. You told her you were chillin' at a friend's house. At that point you gave her the indication that (a) you forgot about the date, and (b) you were now busy doing something else, which meant, to her, you probably didn't feel like doing anything else that night, like going out on your date with her. Thus, she had to backpeddle her interest and mention the long day she had, instead of mentioning the date you two were supposed to go on.

4. She was keeping the texting game up with you as a last hope that, at some point, you'd tell her you were still going to be coming for the date. You didn't, so at that point she probably figured you had lost interest in her, which is why she didn't feel the need to counter-offer.

In short: from her perspective, it may have been YOU that flaked on the date. Regardless, though, you should've (a) not called before and just showed up, and (b) at the very least, asked her what was up and said "Hey, I got caught up a bit, but I'm on my way over for our date tonight" and waited to hear her response. She would've either said "oh, okay, I was wondering where you were" or "date? What date?" Either way, at least you would be more sure of what was going on than with the route you took, which was not to mention the date at all!

 

[DonJuanabe]

What Harry said. My impression was that she was most likely at the designated location wondering WTF was going on but trying to keep face in light of being stood up by a flake (you).

 

[nismo-4]

You dumbass.

Why didn't you remind her of the date in the 2 hours you were talking to her? Well, your princess is in another castle.

Would she forget a date with Brad Pitt? Hell no. :rock:

Case closed.

 

[omega05]

Yea you lost for that move of not being a man and saying "we have a date tonight". Why so quick to next though? Because that's what a "Don Juan" would do? Make your own rules and get this girl out on a date with you

 

[pdx1138]

We don't wait and make the counter offer to our offer.

Any woman with interest will make the counter offer. PERIOD.

No counter offer = zero interest / wasting your time trying.

Keep trying = she knows you're an optionless doormat to be $hit on / feed her ego.



NEXT

 

[yuppaz]

What Harry said is spot on. I'm betting she was there wondering why the f*ck you weren't. You c@ckblocked yourself by assuming that because she didn't pick up the phone she was going to flake....

Next time, just setup a plan to meetup where you would like to go anyway (some bar or coffee place etc.) Just go there, no calling ahead of time. If she flakes, you don't care very much because you like that place anyway and you can meet new girls.

 

[EastWind]

More importantly, you almost WANT her to flake on the date. That way, you can see where her interest is in you.

It's interesting you should mention that; it's exactly how I always feel before dates. If she doesn't show up or is more than ten minutes late without informing me, I leave knowing I just saved a lot of time and effort. Better than to spend some time on a few dates only to find out she's worth nothing.

 

[Iggy69]

sheesh... so many comments that are conflicting with each other. Although I think Harry is the one that got it right, I would think she would have at least let me know why she couldn't get to the phone when I called, but than again she probably wouldn't have ever texted me back to begin with had she really flaked.

Instead of going NC I just set up another date with her today and this time I let her know before hand that I would call her when I was at her spot, she agreed and we went on the date. I think Harry had it right, she probably was the one that thought that I flaked.

Long story short, not to much chemistry between us might try one more date with her before I next her, but I'll probably wait for her to contact me first to gauge her IL.