she felt like she was being interviewed!

[00Kevin]

During a recent date a girl joked about the fact that it felt like she was on an interview. I had to think fast and turn it around by suggesting that she provide me with a resume with all her past relationships on it.

Anyway, after she said that it felt as if I might of pushed her a little too far. On the other hand, no other girl has ever said such a thing to me and I was just being myself. Furthermore, all my questions were well placed and within the context of the conversation that we had.

I'm just wondering if this was a bad thing or not. I'm a very critical guy when it comes to my women. I'm not afraid to ask the questions that need to be asked.

My perspective is that a date for a guy IS an interview and the woman is the interviewee.

Anyone else experience this? Anything ever think that their DJing is just too damn strong for some women to handle.

 

[nishbuk]

That's the right attitude I think. If you are attempting to become a DJ, like I'm trying to attempt, then you have to have the mindset, that you can have many, many girls, so it's YOUR choice. You can be picky. And that means girls need to gain your approval, not the other way around.

 

[Scoiland]

What i do to avoid that is i will ask a question and when she answers i will emphazise on it giving my opion. That way it will work more into a conversation because from there different topics will arise and it won't look like i am screening her so hard.

 

[I'm Joe Dirt]

Well what were you talking about?

Was it boring stuff like school, work, family, etc.?

You sound like you need to listen to David DeAngelo's thing about conversation topics. The idea is to talk bout different stuff than anyone else and don't ask questions just kind of have a discussion.

 

[Interpol]

I agree that the date should be like an interview for your purposes, but it shouldn't seem like one for the girl.

You need to keep the conversation interesting and humorous, and keep your screening tactics as subtle as possible. A girl doesn't want to feel like she's being cross-examined by a lawyer.

Job interviews are generally stressful, a date is supposed to be FUN.

 

[I'm Joe Dirt]

Of course, it should be no pressure. This is a voluntary activity.

Having an interrogating demeanor, that is if all you're doing is asking questions especially those that lead to yes no or short answers is bad. And if those questions are about boring topics then you got double trouble.

Learn to ask open ended questions about topics she would not expect to talk about. Something loose and fun like pop culture, old TV shows, etc. Don't just do the whole "you got a job? how many brothers and sisters? where do you go to school? whats your major?" thing. Thats pathetic.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I've cracked on women when they try to interview me. If after I use an obvious c/f type answer to a few of questions and she doesn't get the hint, I bust her on it.

I don't mind answering questions in the course of the conversation but she needs to do something which I think you may not have done either. Reciprocate with answers about yourself. If all you are doing is gathering information and nothing else, IT IS AN INTERVIEW and not a conversation!

 

[I'm Joe Dirt]

I would response in a C&F way that Dave D recommends and point it out like "hey what is this a job interview? ask me something interesting!"

Francisco is also onto something there when he says you have to reciprocate.

For example say you're talking about work - which I would recommend against unless there really is nothing else to say because its a BORING topic - here is how the convo would go:

You: So what do you do?
Her: I'm in sales, I sell hammers at Home Depot
You: Oh okay, I'm in sales too actually, I sell TVs at Best Buy, so tell me, INSERT HER NAME HERE, do you actually look forward to work everyday?


Now that's a more interesting way to keep a conversation going, and adds that personal touch when you mention her name. I make a concious effort to use the person's name during the conversation several times, not so much that she says "wow you must like my name a lot" but enough so that on that subconcious level she feels like she knows you.

I often have observed that when talking to women and inserting their name they will often start using my name too (which means you've hit that sweet spot for this technique). It builds trust much faster. If said casually and as part of a statement like the example above it also helps shed that "job interview" feel.

 

[00Kevin]

You guys have made some good points. I think I might have rushed parts of the conversation to get the answers I wanted.

I didn't even realize I did that though. I'm just so used of not taking **** and filtering out all the crap that I didn't care.

Regardless, I didn't start off with a great impression of her anyway so that might of also contributed to my lack of conversation skills. I think I was looking for reasons to next and started asking her questions just for the sake of it.

That is just how I am now, if the girl doesn't impress me from the start I don't care to DJ her.

I only DJ a girl if I want to. Most of the time It hink the girl doesn't even deserve to be DJed. So if the date goes bad I don't give a **** anyway. I guess I've been DJing now for too long.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by 00Kevin
You guys have made some good points. I think I might have rushed parts of the conversation to get the answers I wanted.

I didn't even realize I did that though. I'm just so used of not taking **** and filtering out all the crap that I didn't care.

Regardless, I didn't start off with a great impression of her anyway so that might of also contributed to my lack of conversation skills. I think I was looking for reasons to next and started asking her questions just for the sake of it.

That is just how I am now, if the girl doesn't impress me from the start I don't care to DJ her.

I only DJ a girl if I want to. Most of the time It hink the girl doesn't even deserve to be DJed. So if the date goes bad I don't give a **** anyway. I guess I've been DJing now for too long.

So out of curiosity, what do you show of yourself that would make a woman want to sell qualities more to impress you? It's like a dance, you have to know how to lead to bring out the best in your partner.

Just something to consider.

 

[TonyTheTigerOI]

Stop asking so many goddamn questions. Questions are weak. It is a request for information from another person... it lowers your status every time you ask something. Notice how you dont ask for a #, or a name, you just do your thing and wait untill it is provided to you? This applies to ALL THINGS!

I want you to think about your average approach/conversation with a HB that makes you nervous and compare it to this approach I pulled last night:

I saw a 5 set quietly sitting in the corner of the bar, and the older guy I had been smoking with took an interest in an 8 standing on the edge of the group. I told him I liked the girl in the middle, and he opened his girl and the other 3 by her by saying "Hey there, you walflowers look like you need some adventure!" They werent interested in him, but he just kept talking high energy, distracting the girls. I litterally stepped through the group so I could lean against the wall and relax, turning to HB8.5:

Anth - Hey, hand me a napkin (she does, and I wipe my brow with it) Thanks, Im dying in here! I knew it was going to be warm, so I wore all lightweight linen, but Im still roasting!
HB8.5 - I know, its hot as hell!
Anth - The sad thing is, the radio adds for this bar make it a point to mention the air conditioning
HB8.5 - What airconditioning?
Anth - EXACTLY! (I look around, its a biker bar, I point to some guy in leather) thank god its early, in this heat, those bikers'll be smelling pretty funky by four oclock!
HB8.5 (laughs and points at a different, really fat sweaty biker) - I think hes got a head start
Anth - Ohhh so your a people watcher?
HB8.5 - Of course! What else is there to do at the cocodile (Bar)?
Anth - Well, who have you had your eye on?
HB8.5 - Well that girl over there is hammered, Ive been waitin for her to do something crazy for ten minutes now
Anth - Hrmmm, yeah, and shes trying way to hard with that guy.
HB8.5 - Yeah, she just emulates slut... look what shes wearing!
Anth - Fashion advice, from a girl wearing a cute shirt from the 80's?
HB8.5 - What!?
Anth - Honey (trying to matt down her sleeves), if there was a strong breeze, you could float away in that thing!
HB8.5 (looks me right in the eye, reading me) - To be honest, I didnt expect men to be looking at my sleeves (she was only 5'4 and thin but had a C cup, tons of clevage thru the shirt)
Anth (I trace her shoulder/sleeve with my hand) - Well we could talk fashion for the rest of the night, but Id rather not
HB8.5 - Your right... so what do you do?
Anth - Well thats a cop-out of a get to know ya question if ive ever heard one! Cmon, ask me somthin fun!
HB8.5 (confused) - Ok, uh, have you ever climbed a mountain?
Anth - Thats even worse... its just a yes or no question! Ask me somethin open ended that I can really explore!
HB8.5 - Ok, hrm, how about this: if you were a woman for a day, what would you do!

I thought for a minute and then monologued for 5 minutes about the most relaxing, pampering afternoon, a fun shopping trip and a wild night at a bar, much like the one she and I were standing in. All the wile the old guy had gotten blown out of his set, but not before he had dragged the girls from my target to the bar for shots. Props to Gary Action, Buffalo, NY. She really liked my answer, her friends seemed to be getting ancy, I saw that she too was restless to leave with her friends, so after some chit chat about my answer, health spas, little black dresses, and wild barnights I simply told her I had alot of fun, and we should talk again soon. She agreed, I raised my eyebrows slightly, prompting her to speak. She offered her # and I handed her my cell.

I asked her for a napkin. Forcefully. Thats it. And it was a pretty fvcking full conversation for a biker bar, wouldnt you say? The entire time she was asking me questions and chasing after my attension... instead of the other way around.

 

[escobar04]

"I sell hammers at Home Depot"

hahahaha

kinda sounds like Hank Hill from King of the Hill

"I sell propain!"

 

[bud_2005]

You also asked her who she had her eye on. Asking questions are as bad as you think for them to be. Just try to keep the conversation flowing.

 

[diplomatic_lies]

"Um, you have nice sleeves. Where'd you get them?"