She doesn't trust me

[Greasy Pig]

Ok boys, I agreed to go exclusive with this chick about a month ago after an intense screening process.
I'm very happy and I'm keen to make it work. I've dropped my other plates and focusing on her (not too much!!).

Of course there's always gotta be a problem though. Lol
She always hints that she's worried I'm going to fvck other women. I can see her point. I've got a lot going for me and she's seen me out on the town getting attention from other women.

My question is, should I play on this insecurity and try to keep her hamster spinning? I'm a fan of so-called "dread" game as a way to keep a woman on her toes but I can tell that this dread is really eating her up and I want her to relax.

She hasn't accused me of cheating but little things she says and her reactions to my teasing about other women make it pretty clear that she's not just worried about losing me, she's terrified.
How to handle it?

 

[betheman]

a little competition anxiety is always a good thing to have going for you but what worries me is when it spills over to clinginess, stalking, cross examining you etc etc. do you think her 'symptoms' have got worse? is she incredibly/increasingly jealous?
there is a fine line between a girl showing very healthy interest in you and that of a borderline psycho, what her past relationship been like? has she cheated in the past?

 

[scrouds]

You gotta mix up your game and give her some reassurances.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear GP,
A good retort is,"Now honey,one never suspects in others actions they have not contemplated themselves,so give it a rest OK"....But maate....firstly don't see her more than four times a week absolute Max....gives you time for yourself keeps her fresh,attractive and horny....Once you have lived this life style you will always backslide...getting rids of Plates!Oh no.....down size yes but toss 'em over the side,that's wanton sacrifice,(I wasn't even trying LOL)....All that time,the money seducing the little darlings ,does that mean nothing to you? you will regret this in six months or so,and that's on my Landlords life (Smile)....But GP Lad you are unwell,for the love of Mike,don't let her move in with you whatever you do!

 

[Barracuda]

Bear in mind:

If your "dread" game goes too far, she will come to unconsciously resent it.

Then, in the event that someone comes along who can supply the certainty / reassurance / stability she's craving, she'll cheat on you for it.

Why? Because she knows she's too into you and it could hurt her badly.. so the cheating will act as a form of self-preservation from getting hurt.

Also, that kind of game tends to make a woman feel that she's not enough for you, or doesn't measure up to your standards. When someone else comes along and fills that void she feels, she'll grab it with both hands.

I've seen it happen plenty of times with the strategy you're talking about.

Of course, SOME uncertainty is a must.. as we well know, satisfaction is the death of desire.

So what do you do?

Surprise her with treats and little flashes of the kind of certainty she craves when she least expects it and/or earns it.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Thanks guys. I would confidently say she's not psychotically jealous, she just can't seem to stop her hamster from spinning.
There's no cross examination or accusations, more like: "Oh, you'll probably just trade me in for a new one anyway", or, "I'm sure you get plenty of attention from other women."
I take it as a compliment and she has a way of saying it that doesn't make me feel she's accusing me, it's almost as though she's seeking some reassurance from me in a way I can't work out how to show her.

And Scara, when I say "dropped plates", I mean I've stopped fvcking them but I'm still keeping in touch.
I have absolutely no plans to move in with her. Fvck that!!

I guess it's just going to take time for her to see that I can be faithful. There could be some self esteem issues there, but I reckon that's a good thing.

 

[Greasy Pig]

a little competition anxiety is always a good thing to have going for you but what worries me is when it spills over to clinginess, stalking, cross examining you etc etc. do you think her 'symptoms' have got worse? is she incredibly/increasingly jealous?
there is a fine line between a girl showing very healthy interest in you and that of a borderline psycho, what her past relationship been like? has she cheated in the past?

I see no signs of any personality disorder. I've been seeing her for six months and no red flags in that regard.
She's pretty hot and gets hit on a fair bit but swears she has always been faithful in relationships, only had ONS with guys she knew fairly well and can't believe how women can sleep with complete strangers they've only known a few hours.
I'm not so naive as to believe every word and I'm fully aware most seemingly "good girls" are just one too many shots away from blowing an alpha in the club toilets. But she seems different to the countless cvm junkies I've banged over the years who claimed similar "good girl" status.

We shall see...