She dodged. You do .. what?

[al77]

Literally she quite evasively dodged from a kiss. I suspect she was just a trivial AW and I misjudged her interest level.
Anyway, what do you do\say after a failed attempt to kiss? It is a bit awkward to pretend that nothing happend and continue the convo. From the other point of view - if she dodged, it probably doesn't matter since she is not interested.

I got some hindsight though: I could have said with a smile "Ohhh.. you dodge really well. Are you into basketball or somehting?"
Plz comment, add your solution.

 

[EquityPrivate]

Perfect time for a soft-neg and a freeze out.

"Hmmm. Dodgy." *Smile* Turn back, even walk away. Don't look back. If there's no warming...

...NEXT.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by EquityPrivate
Perfect time for a soft-neg and a freeze out.
"Hmmm. Dodgy." *Smile* Turn back, even walk away. Don't look back.

This is good. But where is the soft-neg you mentioned?
It is a bit hard to just walk out in my area - you have to drive everywhere... so we came to get some coffee in one (her) car.
She had to drive me back... even if it is my car, I can't really leave her there without her car.

So what would be a good neg-hit here? Or just somehting funny I guess?

 

[Marlimus]

Hand her a mint. Say 'that's okay, you were probably self-conscious. Just be prepared next time."

Then walk away. (Inspired by, but not taken from, the Mystery Method)

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Marlimus
Hand her a mint. Say 'that's okay, you were probably self-conscious. Just be prepared next time."

Then walk away. (Inspired by, but not taken from, the Mystery Method)

Hahahahahah! Cool!
"... just be prepared next time!" ))))

I don't get why I need to hand her a mint though: I am sure she will not take it right after the failed attempt to kiss her.

So in general, do I get it right: I need basically to neg hit her?
But why??? a neg hit will not me get her affection 100%.
Then why bother?
What I think I need is a) save the face b) not feel awkward silnce while driveing back in the car.
So it gotta be just... funny.

Marlimus, what you said is great as a neg hit, but the last part "be prepared next time" might get her ticked off, cuz she might think "aha the guys didn't get my message!!"
She might want to show me she doesn't like me for sure.. and this is not what I'd like to see

 

[RaWBLooD]

Originally posted by al77

She might want to show me she doesn't like me for sure.. and this is not what I'd like to see

You would rather live in a pretend reality where she likes you instead of making sure?

 

[al77]

Originally posted by RaWBLooD
You would rather live in a pretend reality where she likes you instead of making sure?

There is simply no point in neg hitting her. The most I can get is more negative reaction from her. Do I need that? I need to basically smooth out the situation, since I have to drive back with her.

 

[EquityPrivate]

Originally posted by EquityPrivate
Perfect time for a soft-neg and a freeze out.
"Hmmm. Dodgy." *Smile* Turn back, even walk away. Don't look back.

Originally posted by al77
This is good. But where is the soft-neg you mentioned?

Main Entry: dodgy

Pronunciation: 'dä-jE
Function: adjective
1 chiefly British : EVASIVE, TRICKY
2 chiefly British : not sound, stable, or reliable : SHAKY

On top of everything else it's a clever double entendre.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by EquityPrivate


Main Entry: dodgy
1 chiefly British : EVASIVE, TRICKY
2 chiefly British : not sound, stable, or reliable : SHAKY

On top of everything else it's a clever double entendre.

I see now. Thanks.
Although I progress in my thinking: I guess it is better just to make fun of her...make her laugh...discharge this emotionally charged situation.
If I neg hit her, it is not very clear what I would gain.

Lets laugh it off:
"You dodge really well, are you captain of a dodgeball team or something?" )

Opinions?

 

[Good_ol_boy]

"I don't get why I need to hand her a mint though: I am sure she will not take it right after the failed attempt to kiss her."

Ah! Yes! The lost art of critical thinking. Let me explain.
The mint suggests that she avoided the kiss because she thought she might have bad breath. Therefore, a light neg.

Oh yes,
To answer your question, act like "no big deal", keep working it, and try again later!

 

[DJDamage]

Don't say anything or act as if you are hurt, obviously she wasn't impressed or sure about you on her first date or your timing was off. If the night was a so and so night and you felt that the sparkles weren't flying then don't attempt to kiss her. If you do attempt and she is dodgy just smile and say "take care" and walk away. All you need to do now is call her up and set up another date.

However If you do get the second date and she acts dodgy again, tear up her number and walk away because any chick who accepts a second date without allowing her date to seal it with a kiss is either fridgit or playing games.

 

[frivolousz21]

AL77-

Did you have a serious gf recently....or am I thinking of someone else

 

[al77]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
AL77-
Did you have a serious gf recently....or am I thinking of someone else

Me? No, I didn't.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by DJDamage
Don't say anything or act as if you are hurt, obviously she wasn't impressed or sure about you on her first date or your timing was off. If the night was a so and so night and you felt that the sparkles weren't flying then don't attempt to kiss her. If you do attempt and she is dodgy just smile and say "take care" and walk away.

The problem is I can't just walk away: we had to drive back in teh same car. That means we had to talk more...so I fugured out I needed somehting funny, not a neg hit.

 

[Dr Box]

If I was you I would be trying to figure out why she dodged the kiss in the first place, not what to do after it.
You know if you had done the kiss test or done more to build attraction then you would not have been dodged. Was there any kino before the kiss attempt? It is no good trying to play it off as no big deal because she will see through it any joke you do will most likely come off as weak and insecure, that is why a neg hit or C & F line works so well in these situations.


Originally posted by Marlimus
Hand her a mint. Say 'that's okay, you were probably self-conscious. Just be prepared next time."

Then walk away. (Inspired by, but not taken from, the Mystery Method)

That is gold,
I dont mean to be rude but I cant see how you have been here since feb this year and you can't see why giving her a mint is a good way to go. as long as it is done with a sly smile you would get away with it.

 

[xblitz44x]

Originally posted by al77


I got some hindsight though: I could have said with a smile "Ohhh.. you dodge really well. Are you into basketball or somehting?"
Plz comment, add your solution.

I think that would have made things worse because it sounds like you're really going out of your way to be cute in order to avoid an uncomfortable situation. I would just say "Wow, this is uncomfortable. Maybe my aim is off. Have a good night".

Like you said, if she dodges, she wasn't into you to begin with.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Dr Box
If I was you I would be trying to figure out why she dodged the kiss in the first place, not what to do after it.
You know if you had done the kiss test or done more to build attraction then you would not have been dodged. Was there any kino before the kiss attempt? It is no good trying to play it off as no big deal because she will see through it any joke you do will most likely come off as weak and insecure, that is why a neg hit or C & F line works so well in these situations.

Sure, I needed to figure out why... any hints how? I can't just ask "so.. girl, why the heck you dodged?".
We talked for 3-5 hours a couple of times. She was not opposed to light kino...

 

[al77]

Re: Re: She dodged. You do .. what?

Originally posted by xblitz44x
I think that would have made things worse because it sounds like you're really going out of your way to be cute in order to avoid an uncomfortable situation.

I would just say "Wow, this is uncomfortable. Maybe my aim is off. Have a good night".

Finnny one person got it! This is precisely what I thought I had to do: to avoid the uncomfotable situation cuz I'll have to drive back with her in the same car. I could not just walk away....
You are right though: she was not into me, so what I am gonna lose?? nothing. She is not going to like me due to my neg hit anyway. It is over.
But a simple light joke would save me while we were driving back...Does it make sense?

Even if I have an opportunity to walk away...again it is clear it is over. She is not into me. So why not to joke a bit... assuming she is on a dodgeball team? It doesn't matter what I say in terms of attraction, so I can either just walk away "Take care..., or neg hit her (I don't get why I shoudl do that) or come up with a tiny joke about dodgeball and walk away.
I basically wanted to save my face, cuz there is nothing else I could really do.

 

[xblitz44x]

Yeah, a neg-hit would do nothing for you here. People are giving that advice because their egos would be shattered and they feel like they have to 'hit back' to save face. It's always a power struggle with those guys. You'd be better off viewing the situation a little lighter, making a joke about it, and cutting your loses.

 

[Vibe]

Originally posted by xblitz44x
Yeah, a neg-hit would do nothing for you here. People are giving that advice because their egos would be shattered and they feel like they have to 'hit back' to save face. It's always a power struggle with those guys. You'd be better off viewing the situation a little lighter, making a joke about it, and cutting your loses.

Seriously. A neg-hit WOULD be the best thing because it has a direct effect on her level of attraction for you. The nature of the "neg-hit" is to bring out her own insecurities and put her on a lower frame than you. Once she is in a lower frame (for instance, the "little sister" frame), this will foster attraction.

Originally posted by al77
You are right though: she was not into me, so what I am gonna lose?? nothing. She is not going to like me due to my neg hit anyway. It is over.
But a simple light joke would save me while we were driving back...Does it make sense?

The situation you are in is a tough one because you would have to really have your game internalized before you could power through an obstacle like this. Of course, if your game had been internalized, she never would have dodged your kiss. Heh - but learn from your mistakes. If you can't see why a neg-hit would be useful here, you still have a long way to go.

~Vibe~