She disappeared, Im puzzled

[Focal core]

I always look at the cycle.

Say you met her in person on Sat July 12th, the day of the housewarming party and sex with her.
You wrote 2 weeks go by; you see her again in person at the height of premenstrual syndrome and she wants to discuss heavier, potentially schitttesting subjects like documentaries and relationships from your point of view.
She's currently menstruating and will contact you a few days after last blood and it will be a weekend she's free again, so I guesstimate this Friday she will insist on meeting you.

and she'll be wanting sex....
(before "all men are obsolete" -her words that you wrote about) It'll be High ovulation time!


Wednesday or so she'll start with the sexy/flirty texts to seduce you again and get you primed.


This is all just a guess.

Sounds like a pattern to me.. It doesnt flow well like human natural behavior/interaction, which paradoxical to any human potential and growth. Talk about aberrant behavior.

 

[EyeBRollin]

You burned this out to quickly OP. Moving fast never works. You should be waiting 4-9 days after a date to contact her. Pace yourself and get some other options.

 

[Toddz]

You text and communicate with her way way too much. Most men do and while you think you're being courteous and polite, you're actually killing the mystery and with it her natural instinct to pursue you.

All communication with date/plates/fwb should be kept to an absolute bare minimum. You should only be messaging each other to setup plans and that's it. All other communication is meaningless and pointless, it adds nothing to your life except her becoming predictable, familiar, and comfortable with you, which is an attraction killer.

Delete her number and forget about her. If she hits you up again, then apply my advice.

 

[Randolph]

I always look at the cycle.

Say you met her in person on Sat July 12th, the day of the housewarming party and sex with her.
You wrote 2 weeks go by; you see her again in person at the height of premenstrual syndrome and she wants to discuss heavier, potentially schitttesting subjects like documentaries and relationships from your point of view.
She's currently menstruating and will contact you a few days after last blood and it will be a weekend she's free again, so I guesstimate this Friday she will insist on meeting you.

and she'll be wanting sex....
(before "all men are obsolete" -her words that you wrote about) It'll be High ovulation time!


Wednesday or so she'll start with the sexy/flirty texts to seduce you again and get you primed.


This is all just a guess.

Interesting that you bring up this. 2nd date was actually during shark week. I usually don't consider these things but we'll see what happens.

You text and communicate with her way way too much. Most men do and while you think you're being courteous and polite, you're actually killing the mystery and with it her natural instinct to pursue you.

All communication with date/plates/fwb should be kept to an absolute bare minimum. You should only be messaging each other to setup plans and that's it. All other communication is meaningless and pointless, it adds nothing to your life except her becoming predictable, familiar, and comfortable with you, which is an attraction killer.

Delete her number and forget about her. If she hits you up again, then apply my advice.

Ty for the input. I'll try this.

Probably over pursuit OP. she already felt she had you.
And i would stay away from a woman who watches that kind of shyt.

Even if you get s first date smash don't pursue. Your texts sounded a bit too feminine.
You had the perfect opportunity to spin her hamster and flip the dynamic and i think you missed it.
Next time they initiate contact. I think the girl should be the one hitting you up for #2. If she doesn't its a next. Actions over words.

Haha, indeed!

Now that you mention it, you are right about the texts.

What was the opportunity you saw for flipping the script, could you elaborate?

 

[Randolph]

If you’re a man of abundance why do you care? Guess who ain’t thinking about you right now? Her. This stings but we all gotta hear it. I appreciate your updates.

Sure stings but it's good to hear. It's nice to hear when guys pick apart what I've done.
I obv needed a reality check on this one!

 

[Randolph]

I've seen some different approaches, if you like could you please advocate your approach to this and why its good. Previous success?

Some say: leave the door open, text "hey thats cool, lmk if things change. take care" or something along those lines. And move on.
Other camp is: just don't do anything. Delete number and move on!

I mean they are not very different approaches but if you would just give me your 5 cents on why you prefer one over the other.

I personally, in this case, deleted her number. Assuming I'll never hear from her again. This because I'm usually more on the side of leaving the door open. I want to try something different this time.

 

[Randolph]

Not contacting her after you fcked her.
She can get secs anywhere.
You are the relationship holder. Withhold it. There hand is the puzz. You already got that and then you jumped right into marriage mind...what will our kids look like

Right.

Rofl, yea.

 

[bat soup]

Who really cares what's going on inside the head of a woman that doesn't want to see you? She's not cooperating - that's all you need to know.

 

[Rainman4707]

Read the first few paragraphs. Judge her by her actions.
Yes, she had sex with you. Then after that she was saying how much she likes you, but didnt actually see you for weeks. Yes...she may have been on holiday or something.

You had sex with her...be calm after that...you appear to be getting all worked up over her.

 

[Lookatu]

If you're high value enough for them to have sex with you, just be glad for that and let everything else fall into place. No need to overthink or invest and let them come to you since you already had sex. Just continue seeking out others to have sex with and eventually one of them will latch onto you and make you feel wanted and treat you like a king. At that point, you can decide if you have enough chemistry with this gal to continue and evolve it into a relationship or not.

I generally find girls that are quick to sex, have buyer's remorse majority of the time as they get to know you more outside of the sexual chemistry and realize they made an error in their judgement.

 

[GearsGod310]

I know it might be tough because you've had sex and good times with her on your dates.
But the best thing you can do in this situation when she's pulling away is just to let it be man, give her space, all the space in the universe. Don't reach out to her anymore.
Either way if you start pursuing and texting her that you wanna keep seeing her she will forsure lose interest in you.
You can't go wrong will pulling back yourself, it might even raise her interest in you and she MIGHT reach out. But this is not set in stone.
Last year I banged a very cute white girl off tinder on our first date and the next day she blocked me off all social media. (the sex was great btw) Then I texted her and asked what was up? And she said she was over the dating scene. All I said was Hey, no worries I completely understand and I hope all goes well with her. Never talked to her since.

Women are weird. Sometimes they just want to get d1ked down and thats it. A one time thing, nothing more. And you have to accept that.
Sometimes they'll disappear because they got back with their ex or they'll go cold after giving you some azz just to if you'll chase like a little puppy.

I think you were being a little too nice with the " hey thanks for the other day " I would personally never thank her. Maybe after you guys catch up after the date and if it comes up just say " hey the other day was fun! " thats about it.

Never talk to a woman about red pill.

Whatever the case may be you can NOT go wrong with walking away.

 

[jaymbrs]

The most common thing I read in stories like this is a random vacation taking place at some point. I'm betting going on vacation just means "I'm out banging 5 other guys and need to schedule your turn at a later time" (whenever the vacation ends). Take note fellas.

 

[Georgepithyou]

Yup, not even right wing women

Do right wing women under 40 even exist? And I'm not talking about trad thots wjo do it for attention

 

[Rainman4707]

Do right wing women under 40 even exist? And I'm not talking about trad thots wjo do it for attention

Hopefully. They do exist obviously...i know right wing women.

 

[Randolph]

This is as simple as it gets

Yeah, and this is why I appreciate you guys replies!

Read the first few paragraphs. Judge her by her actions.
Yes, she had sex with you. Then after that she was saying how much she likes you, but didnt actually see you for weeks. Yes...she may have been on holiday or something.

You had sex with her...be calm after that...you appear to be getting all worked up over her.

I get what you are saying, and girls sure give guys the run around, but this time it seemed legit. As in I didnt ask her to give me her number or to send pictures of her and her family doing stuff at their summer house. I mean sure it can be faked but that's just too much.

Yeah I sure got carried away by this ****. Prolly cus I'm fresh out of a relationship, and here comes this woman love bombing me. Same thing actually happened last time I got out of a relationship aswell. Stung like hell but it got me back on track.

I mean I see other women, who I sleep with, but for this one I just didnt follow the usual routine, I had a lack of respect for her, thinking I could get away with anything.
I saw her as way beneath me, that's messing with my ego.

The most common thing I read in stories like this is a random vacation taking place at some point. I'm betting going on vacation just means "I'm out banging 5 other guys and need to schedule your turn at a later time" (whenever the vacation ends). Take note fellas.

Maybe I'm naive but I don't know if I subscribe to the idea that pretty much every other woman having trains run on her on a weekly basis.

 

[Randolph]

Anyway, like I said, I have not replied to her and delited her number. I will update the thread if she happens to reach out.

 

[Rainman4707]

@Randolph i dont care anymore. I used to worry if i'd said the wrong thing. I'm a little tired of trying to be perfect. Hell....if she dose'nt like what you said...then fu*k her! Women are so picky and flakey. They don't worry half as much as men about dating.

 

[Randolph]

She's back.

About a week and a half ago she texted me; "Hey, are you having a nice end of summer?

I called her up and we got to talking. Basically she had been mad about something I said. She had asked me what filters I use on OLD. I said, 18-28, I never date older. She had been taking that personally.

Skipping past the pleasantries of "how you've been and what was your day like", the convo went something along the lines of:

H: I just couldn't let go of something you said about women above 28 being too old for you, and that got me to thinking what the hell am I doing with a guy who thinks I'm basically past my prime.

M: I laughed a said: I knew it was something like that because you were totally stunned after we had that conversation. The comment wasnt directed at you, but dating in general. There are exceptions to pretty much every rule you know. And besides, you just turned 28, although I'm disappointed, you still have a whole year before you are "too old".

H: Do you care to explain yourself?

M: I kept chuckling at her "outrage" and said: It's not all about you, you know. There is a saying, "guys dont get good looking until after 30", do you think I should get outraged by such a statement?
I didnt have you down as a drama queen, guess I was wrong *smirking*

H: How about those 18 years olds you like to date, whats up with that? can you even get a connection with a person like that?

M: Ofcourse not, but they're hot!

H: I still don't understand what you can get out of 18 year olds..

M: You let me worry about my 18 year olds! Anyway, the documentary you sent got me all worked up.

H: Oh, so you watched it! (really happy and excited) WHat did you think about it bla bla bla.

M: I'll tell you when I see you, or are you still mad at me? *laughing*

H: her laughing and: Maybe a little bit angry still..

M: Good! So when are you free?

Set a date and the rest is history.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Maybe she sensed it was too easy for her and she wasn't going to have to do much to get you. Anything that comes too easy doesn't have much value.

 

[Atom Smasher]

She’s way over-sensitive and will definitely turn into a drag on your life. Enjoy it while you can, but she will quickly prove to be very tiresome to deal with.

Right now, you're just dealing with the tip of the iceberg.