She didn't know it was a date? (She's not even blonde)

[Finch]

Alright, so I know some girls are a little ditsy but how can you be so out of it to be unaware that it was a date?

I took this girl out in my history class this winter break and we went to go see a movie and then later went ice skating. The movie went awesome we were really vi bing good there. We were both there laughing and talking during the movie and she would like sit on me sorta.. it was fun. It was harmless stuff at most.

So things are going awesome after the movie. She even told me that she was glad that I wasn't like her other dates. And this whole time and doing C&F like crazy. I was really on fire this date; or so i thought.

When we went ice skating things went well at first, I mean we were both still acting like a little couple would. Then all the sudden she like has this bi-polar disorder problem appear out of no where and decides that she doesn't want to be ice skating anymore.

So I get in the car and we drive around. I'm pretty confused and don't really know what to do so I'm asking her what she wants to do. I then just decided that maybe it was best that I just took her home. She agreed and apologized the whole ride back. She said that it wasn't anything with me, it was her. I said well I guess maybe we don't click, lol.

The next week I find out she's telling people I took her out on a date without her knowning and and I just frankly feel a little stupid. This was my first date after a two year break up and I was confident that things were going well and felt good, now it just sucks knowing my first date crashed and burned. I don't know what to make of it. Especially since I thought things were going great and then all the sudden they went to hell. How should I react to her? I have been basically ignoring her so far.

 

[crotchrocket]

Her name wasn't Angela was it? I 'dated' (what I'd call dating anyway) a girl for almost a year, when I got tired of her as you say it 'bipolar' behavior, I dumped her, she actually claimed "...we were never dating...!" WTF - Is what I say!

Keep doing what you're doing, ignore chics that have psychotic-delusional tendencies, better yet forget chics like this and as soon as you can move on to someone a bit more normal, trust me you'll be glad you did!

 

[Omega]

A) She's a pyscho (very possible)
B) You did sometihng wrong (very possible)

You also asked her where she wanted to go in the car. Bad idea.

 

[Fenderules]

just shrug it off. she is confused and mentally trapped herself.

she knew it was a date and used that as an excuse to get out of it. She might have wanted you but used her own woman logic to decide she didnt for wutever superfiicial reason

 

[jakeyboy]

oh man, the exact same thing occured to me before. i took this chick out, it went pretty smoothly and a few weeks later i hear from a friend that she's going around telling everyone that i took her on a date against her will, and that she didnt even know it was a date, she thought it was a friendly thing. but it sure in hell wasnt no friendly thing, she was all over me on the date.

i never understood why she did that. -shrugs- some women, go figure.

 

[Fenderules]

didnt want to seem needy or like a slut perhaps? maby she is influenced by her friends and one of them didnt like you so she didnt want them to think she went on a date with you

 

[SevenOne9]

Haha... Wow, I could so relate to this thread. Same thing happend to me last year I was out w/the chick being all over me -- I just didn't put up w/the crap she told her friends the following day and nexted her.

Weeks later she kept staring and trying to talk to me again while being all touchy.

I agree w/some of what Omega said...except i'd add

c) she's a tease
d) attention wh0re

My suggestion is, quit thinking so much into it as it'll leave to more headaches and uneccessary stress (yes, that means focusing on other things besides her).

 

[Slickster]

Maybe the date was going so well that it kinda freaked her out. She realized that she wasn't interested in you to begin with and didn't want to continue. Didn't want to lead you on. Many chicks like their egos being massaged. She knew damn well it was a date and went solely for the attention. When she realized things were going well and you might get the wrong idea she bailed out.

Or

She spotted some other guy she's been interested in and didn't want him to see her with you.

Or

Maybe she was having some "girl" problems. Ie. period, crapped her pants, etc.

It does seem like a sudden turn of events but chicks do weird shyt.

You shouldn't have made the "I guess we just don't click" comment. She was obviously digging you. That comment seems like a "poor me" ego thing.

If she's telling people that you took her on a date without her knowing then she isn't interested in any further dates at the moment. However I am a firm believer in not burning any bridges so here's what I would do.

Next time you talk.....(keep your attitude upbeat)

"Hey _____ could I talk to you for a minute. About the other night....you know I just wanted you to know I was having a good time and (smile) I KNOW you were too. I guess there was just some confusion there and I hope that's okay. I realize you're not interested and that's totally cool. I'm a big guy and I can handle that. I do enjoy your company though and I hope we can still be friends okay. Great! See ya around."

What I've found over the years and after many rejections is that women love a guy who can shrug it off with a smile. So many guys get hurt by rejection and ignore the chick and that just screams weak ego.

There's nothing wrong with you being interested in her. So why act like it just because she doesn't feel the same way.

Smile, be direct and let her know that its no skin off your back. Once you take your ego out of the equation you'll be surprised at how different your interactions and relationships with women will become.

 

[sfalexi]

Try not to let it bother you. Something went wrong, so now you know to X her out of your black book. If someone asks about it simply say, "I asked her out. I figured that with plans like a movie and iceskating, just the two of us, she woulda KNOWN it was a date."

In any event, it's not going to help anything sitting here and analyzing what went wrong and why. It won't get you anywhere. Just let it go man . . . let it go.

 

[MR_PERFECT]

The other guys are right: If you don't burn this bridge, you can get her back at a later date. I think there is another guy she is interested in, or other women don't think you're good enough because of your behavior/looks. You have to figure out what caused her to lose interest and ride it out. Sooner or later she will come around.

I went out a couple of times with a co-worker who forgot to tell me she really liked her best-friend. After the second date, she would brush me off whenever I called, so I acted childish and ignored her at work. After a while, I realized I was acting really immature and started acting like we were best of friends. If she wasn't attracted to me there was nothing wrong with that. I really started to like her, as a friend, and I thought she felt the same way, until she asked me out on a date. She felt like a fool when I told her "no." She got really embarrassed and acted like she was just joking.

I could have overlooked her original lack of interest, but what I couldn't overlook was her telling a woman she respected that I really liked her but she had no interest in me, trying to make herself look good in this woman's eyes at my expense.

 

[Finch]

I know you guys are right and I shouldn't over analyize things. I was just very curious considering that it was my first date out of a LTR. It doesn't really bother me that she isn't interested or was even foolish enough to say that she didn't know it was a date.. I just kind of wanted to know what went wrong after things were going great.

Thanks for all the great advice.