She cut her hair!!

[Z Man]

Thanks for your input so far, guys.

When I first came here to SS several years ago, it was primarily to work on being a better Man, improve myself, etc. That is still the case today. Back then, there were more guys that were not as focused just getting ONS or FwB girls.

Seems 90% of you here today just want to pump and dump. Fair enough, that is your choice. I am focused on relationships. I don't believe in sex before marriage. While I hardly attend church anymore (too much sheep mentality there), I still have some spiritual convictions I believe.

Having said that, I don't have a problem with kissing, making out, etc. I kissed this girl on our first date and we have made out since then. She is of the same religious faith as me.

As it stands now, I admit she is not good relationship material! In truth, I have deleted her number and gone NC on her about 7 times now, LOL. After about a week she will contact me again and I give in..

A few of the red flags I see with her:

* Rocky relationship with her parents (I helped her move out of their house a few weeks ago. Her new place is so much quieter!)

*She is skittish when I move suddenly to kiss her

*A bit over a week ago, I found out she had been tied and gang-raped in the past. She was very tight-lipped about it and I felt like I was prying that info out of her. She was a virgin before that.

*Picked on and physically abused as a kid.

*Low self-esteem. Makes comments like: "My Dad told me he wished I was never born"

*Often saying "I'm not used to (fill in the blank)". For example: I cooked spaghetti for the two of us at my apartment. "I'm not used to a guy cooking me dinner" Smiles at me.
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**SIGH** My logic was to go for the younger women as they should have less baggage than those in my age group (Divorced, has a kid, or both). This logic appears flawed. I am signed on to 2 online dating sites as back-up, and my age group on those sites is mostly Divorced, etc.

@Die Hard: Yes, Cluster B is a real possibility with this girl. I will do a search on it again and read up. My ex gf had all the signs of Borderline Personality Disorder, and I DON'T want to go through that kind of thing again! I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy!

Also, I agree with you guys, I gotta cut my text conversations way back, and focus on the masculine reasons and make her FEEL something more.

And I am still on the search for more plates..

 

[Jeffst1980]

In the early stages of dating a new woman, you should ask yourself one thing before you open your mouth: Is this going to raise or lower her interest level?

Let that question be your filter. Playing detective and grilling her about her haircut is NOT going to raise her interest level. Arguing with her sister is NOT going to raise her interest level. Come on; you're a grown man--you shouldn't engage these girls in an argument; you should act above them (even slightly patronizing).

You were acting like an ineffective father on this one, so it's no wonder she rebelled. If you want to get people to do what you say, you need to leave the ball in their court and make them believe that they are listening to you because they WANT to. If you told her "short hair really turns me off, but it's up to you" and then changed the subject, she'd be more likely to reconsider. If you keep reasoning with her and beating the point into the ground, she will go against your wishes to spite you.

It sounds from this convo that you haven't even seen her in two months--is this an LDR?

 

[Mr.Positive]

*A bit over a week ago, I found out she had been tied and gang-raped in the past. She was very tight-lipped about it and I felt like I was prying that info out of her. She was a virgin before that..

Man, that's rough. One of two things will happen for her, either she will have sexual issues the rest of her life, or she will become one mentally strong person. She's young and hopefully time will help, if she lets it.

But agree this is a red flag, don't think you can 'fix' her or 'save' her.

Years ago, I dated a gal who cut her hair short. In my case, it was a power move. She became a domineering ***** after that. I was an afc and took it at the time. She actually hinted that she was going to propose marriage to me! Haha....thankfully, I wised up and got out of that relationship.

 

[dark god]

Thanks for your input so far, guys.

When I first came here to SS several years ago, it was primarily to work on being a better Man, improve myself, etc. That is still the case today. Back then, there were more guys that were not as focused just getting ONS or FwB girls.

Seems 90% of you here today just want to pump and dump. Fair enough, that is your choice. I am focused on relationships. I don't believe in sex before marriage. While I hardly attend church anymore (too much sheep mentality there), I still have some spiritual convictions I believe.

Having said that, I don't have a problem with kissing, making out, etc. I kissed this girl on our first date and we have made out since then. She is of the same religious faith as me.
QUOTE]

Its not that we are all about pump and dump but if a girl doesnt fit the GF bill then theres nothin wrong havin a little fun before u move on. And Im sorry but I have to disagree with Focusin on a "relationship" with a woman who u wont have sex with untill ur married.To me thats the equalivent of buyin a car without test driving it first but to each his own I guess.

 

[DJDamage]

This girl did not care for your opinion regarding her decision to cut her hair short but yet she asked your opinion about it. Sounds to me like this was some big sh1t test in which you failed to reign in on her decision making abilities that influenced her attraction to you. The more a girl is into the guy, the more she will do things to please him and at this moment she has done the opposite.

If you can wait 4-6 months for tommy boy to grow her hair back again to the way it was then do so, but if you feel that you can get a nicer girl during this time then why put up with this?!

 

[mrRuckus]

I despise short hair. I always tell women i hate short hair very early on and strangely enough they're always like "oh no i would never cut it mrruckus!!!" Seriously, there are hot actresses and sh1t that drop like 5 pts in hotness to me when they go through their "omg all my friends think i'm so cute with short hair" phase. Boner killer.

If i were asked this i would've just said "i think short hair is very unattractive." Then you have your answer of just how interested she is in you depending on what she does. Usually women i date go out of their way to dress or wear their hair the way i like it. I can't imagine one going out of her way to do the opposite unles it was time to stop seeing her anyway. I'm not the type to be scared about saying my opinions so if she were to get mad, so be it.

I mean, damn. I mostly do my facial hair the way a girlfriend likes it. It's no big deal for me to shave a bit more often if she hates my usual "single guy" scruffiness that i have when there's no one to care... or no one that i care enough about if they care