She contacts after several months - how to play it?

[DrStranglove]

Last January to June I was hanging out with this girl, we really clicked but it was six months of pretty extreme hot and cold. She would make bold statements like "I've never felt like this about a guy before" while keeping me at arms length with excuses like "been single so long don't know if I can let someone in". At one point she went from "I want to give things a chance" to "I don't know what I want" in a 48 hour window. Claimed no sex until marriage and did seem somewhat sheltered. Really enjoyed her company so I didn't care about the sex part. Things fizzled out in June, I made a comment she didn't like (hyper sensitive type) and she said it's fine don't worry about it, but didn't respond to a text or two after that so I quit reaching out.

Mid-August she texts out of the blue, acting flirty and excited to speak to me. After a playful exchange I invite her to meet up. She ignores the text. I shouldn't have but the next day I double texted and playfully teased/negged that she was a horrible communicator. She responded immediately apologizing with a list of excuses but I didn't reply. Nothing further between us.

Fast forward to a few days ago. She again texts out of the blue saying "I hope you're doing well, I was doing X and thought about you and blah blah". Had to do with something we had in common and used to do. We've exchanged just a few messages and this time I kept them more indifferent and did not ask her to meet up.

So why has she suddenly reached out again, and what's the best way to play it? Use this as a window of opportunity to start texting and engaging her again, or let her keep coming to me?

 

[AttackFormation]

She's a stage actor, playing the innocent wounded virgin Bambi to play on your male ego giving what she thinks will hook you into feeding her attention, validation and entertainment. If you start texting and engaging her, then her act will have worked.

 

[Chi Town]

attention wh-re with psych problems

You think its BDP bro?

Lol, just fvcking with you

 

[Billtx49]

[QUOTE="DrStranglove, post: 2611084, what's the best way to play it? Use this as a window of opportunity to start texting and engaging her again, or let her keep coming to me?[/QUOTE]
With that level of being a flake on her part let her always initiate and come to you until you see some meet up desire from her, and don’t become her text buddy…

 

[The_411]

Last January to June I was hanging out with this girl, we really clicked but it was six months of pretty extreme hot and cold. She would make bold statements like "I've never felt like this about a guy before" while keeping me at arms length with excuses like "been single so long don't know if I can let someone in". At one point she went from "I want to give things a chance" to "I don't know what I want" in a 48 hour window. Claimed no sex until marriage and did seem somewhat sheltered. Really enjoyed her company so I didn't care about the sex part. Things fizzled out in June, I made a comment she didn't like (hyper sensitive type) and she said it's fine don't worry about it, but didn't respond to a text or two after that so I quit reaching out.

Mid-August she texts out of the blue, acting flirty and excited to speak to me. After a playful exchange I invite her to meet up. She ignores the text. I shouldn't have but the next day I double texted and playfully teased/negged that she was a horrible communicator. She responded immediately apologizing with a list of excuses but I didn't reply. Nothing further between us.

Fast forward to a few days ago. She again texts out of the blue saying "I hope you're doing well, I was doing X and thought about you and blah blah". Had to do with something we had in common and used to do. We've exchanged just a few messages and this time I kept them more indifferent and did not ask her to meet up.

So why has she suddenly reached out again, and what's the best way to play it? Use this as a window of opportunity to start texting and engaging her again, or let her keep coming to me?

Sounds reminiscent of a Hoover.

Bottomline, this girl should be avoided at all costs. Her behavior at best is attention whorish and at worst a BPD trying to ensnare you.

Either way do not waste energy as the hold/cold will be a continuous pattern.

 

[Music_czar]

No contact is your only choice.

OP why are you dating girls for six months who won’t have secks with you??

 

[SoSuave666]

This ***** has very little interest in you. Only way she can come back in your life is if she sucks your **** on demand and licks your ass. Then let’s you piss on her.

Obvious attention *****

 

[GT40]

Just go NC. Not worth it
I wonder if she’s spinning male plates. ?

 

[princelydeeds]

She's a flake, she's spinning plates And she views you as the backup plan. I wouldn't care but I'd always be mindful of my position in her eyes. When she enters your life, it's because things are Rocky with the main guy.

When I was dating, I'd bang her when she appeared but I'd be ready to vacate with the quickness. This isn't one to plan around. When she did that high level, disrespectful flaking, I would just laugh it off and not take it personally. She's only good for sex, if she isn't giving you that she has zero purpose.

Ironically, these are the women who come back to you later in life and act like they have no clue why things never worked out. Keep a dating journal of all of their flakes. I have had 2 major flakes reappear in my life recently. When you can show them by their own actions/deeds why you would never take them seriously, you can create the most amazing opposite scenario. One of these flakes from years past is trying to fly me to meet her right now (today), she wants to pay for everything, take me shopping for a new suit, and **** my brains out. The other offered to quit her job, move to my current city and basically be my side chick.

Life is a funny thing, they are both past their prime, the **** carousel has slowed down greatly, and they are attempting a come back. Too little, too late but it's all funny to me...

 

[Machine10033]

I will let you in on a secret...some girls I have an initial interest in... then say ehhhh she’s not doing it for me. So I move onto another girl... or two girls... or whatever. Then at some point I find myself bored or with no options and see if that first girl is still on line. I will shoot a text out and they usually get back to me. It’s sick but this makes me lose interest even more but I will take them for the moment.. because nothing else is going on. Then I vanish when better options present themselves. If your ever ghosted don’t ever disrespect yourself and jump back in with the person that ghosted you.

 

[GearsGod310]

Attention Wh0re. Don't ever ask her out again. Ever... she will flake, flake, flake every single time. Kick her to the curb

 

[jaymbrs]

Had one just like this last year. She's doing exactly what @Machine10033 said. I'd walk away from this one.

 

[DrStranglove]

Thanks for the replies-

She really disarmed me early on with a story about having never dated much before and made me feel really special in that regard. The last thing she said to me face to face was that she doesn't hang out with other guys like she hangs out with me and how much she enjoys our time together etc etc. Situation was a huge mind fuk and when the six month whirlwind came to an end it felt like I'd just gotten out of a two year relationship. So naturally when she texts out of the blue like this it stirs up a few feelings and makes me overthink.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Kill yourself @ *****.

She jumps off the ****, possibly pregnant and with hiv.

Only a cuck will play.

 

[ubercat]

Ignored offer to meetup. So what's the benefit to you. Netflix and chill or GTFO

 

[DrStranglove]

When a woman texts out of the blue, there is absolutely no play needed. This is a rare bonus in the life of the DJ.

As far as I'm concerned, Any woman who re-initiates contact is DTF, so I'll usually minimize the phone and text and just invite her to meet me for drinks/dinner. If I slept with her in the past, I'll likely offer to just bring drinks to her place or pick her up at her place for drinks/dinner.

Should be a lay on the first re-connect

That was my thought when she texted out of the blue in August and why I quickly invited her out after some flirty banter at that time but she IGNORED the text. I would feel like a fool to fall into the same trap again so that's why I thought this time I'd try to play it different and let her be the one to chase and hint at a meetup. It's such a weird situation, I've never known what the right move is with this girl because she's so unconventional and unpredictable.

 

[Music_czar]

It’s not weird at all.. nothing is going on in her life so she’s trying to fvck you over (again).

Don’t let her. Ignore is your only response. If you have a woman already, you wouldn’t even be thinking twice about whether to respond.

Don’t give in. Let her dwell in whatever he’ll she has already made for herself.

 

[IKO69]

I would act cool and treat her as she isn't **** really. You can't treat them with kid gloves - if they ghost on you for whatever reason it's because you aren't a high priority obviously. Yes, sometimes people get busy and you may not hear from them but you know what I mean and should differentiate between the two. So if that is what they pull you have to do the same, be polite but show them you don't *need* them through your actions.