she contacted me to meet up, should i have not gone?

[big weezy]

ok so i got flamed on here for what happened with this chick: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=199804

yesterday i called her and she didnt answer, so i text her and gave her 3 options of what we could do last night. she sends back immediately 'sorry busy today x '

so obviously she was screening my call. i deleted her number.

tonight she texts me 'what you doing?' at 8pm
me: chiling, what you doing?
her: nothing at the moment
me: we should meet up then. shall i bring drinks over or do you want to go out?

(u guys said she was DTF but i didnt want to assume anything)

her: bring drink over where?

(see it was too forward to suggest i invite myself over to hers)

me: let's head out somewhere then, drinks nearby yours or dessert in chinatown. i'll come pick u up in half an hour, can u be ready then?

her: do u have a car?
her: ok chinatown

me:i'll pick u up in half an hour, i'll call u when im outside. see u in a bit.

her: ok
her: xx

so i go to hers, meet up with her outside.. i open the car door for her and surprisingly she does the same for me like in the film 'the bronx tale' or 'goodfellas' i asked her if she seen that and she said no she always opens doors. (i thought it was an IOI but clearly i misread)

anyway the convo to the place was ok but the convo while we were eating was a bit forced.. like i was forcing what i was saying cos i felt on the spot. usually if a woman is interested she'll at least try to make convo but it was very much a reply to me.. i felt pressured to perform and be charming funny etc.

after she suggests we go for a drink so i say ok.. she takes me to a bar nearby but cos im driving i cant drink so neither does she.. she buys me a drinks and i kiss head and we sit down on a table. (at least she reciprocated) but she wouldn't let me touch her hands.. it's like there's no chemistry there and i'm trying to force it. she starts yawning and suggests we go. seemed weird 1 drink and she wants to leave. she made suggestions we play tennis together next time.

i think she's just tryna keep me sweet for that? i feel very much friendzoned.

outside i try to get closer to her put my arm around her but she seems very much not into it, very different body language from last week. kino is hard it was freezing outside.. i think i should have just stopped her and faced her and tried it then.

i know you should generally have kissed by the 2nd date, but i dont see this happening now.. all i know is we have a bet that if i win at tennis she gives me a kiss and if she wins i give her a kiss. and there'll be a lot of kino cos i have to teach her too.

should i just give up now?

 

[marmel75]

....my mind goes numb reading some of these..

You already say what your problem is...you act timid...

"You don't want to assume" and "it was too forward"

Look at the convo you just had...instead of saying we're going here at this time, you act timid and offer her options as if you are scared she is going to say no if you tell her where to go...

Stop being and acting timid. Act bold, be bold...if they don't like it fvck em...

 

[Harry Wilmington]

How the conversation should have gone:

her: what you doing?
me: chiling, what you doing?
her: nothing at the moment
me: too bad - we should hang out
her:... at this point, she would've either said "sure" and you would've said "cool - i'll be over in 10 minutes" and stopped by the store to get drinks (without asking her if you should get them); or she would've said "sure, where do u wanna meet" (indicating she doesn't want u coming over) and you would've said "my place or yours" and she would've probably said "um, er, oh" and you would've read that she doesn't want to get with you like that and said "oh wait, never mind, something just came up."

You don't get pvssy by being timid; you get pvssy by taking lead and doing what you want. You asked way too many questions, and you're only reading what you want into her interest, which at the moment is either not there or is very, very, very, VERY low. I mean, c'mon - "xx" at the end of a text? I hope you didn't pay for her food/drink...

 

[big weezy]

yah you nailed it on the head. i should have just been direct and suggested it. i guess i just didnt expect her to contact me again since i deleted the number. i already moved on in my mind.

anyway it's over now

she texts me just now: did you arrived safe?
me: yes, you smelt really good today, almost kissable.
her: )
me: we'll play tennis next time.. i'll kiss u then.
her :-(

(at this point i wrongfully assumed she wanted the kiss now not next time, wishful thinking)

me: well im already home so i cant kiss u right now.. you'll just have to be patient and wait till next time..

her: you won't!
me: i wont what? i will. i promise. i pinky sweared with u last time! haha
her: ??
her: i wont let u kiss me
me: then i guess we are at an impasse. i guess my intentions are different to yours.. im looking to date u, not be just friends. but i wont force it, it has to be natural.
me: i made things clear last time we met, but if you're looking to be friends(?) then i guess i'll have to look elsewhere and you'll miss out. i wasnt serious about the kissing u next time, only thought your ':-(' text meant u wanted it now so i was playing along.
her: take it easy

(i dont know if she means 'fvck off' or 'calm down' cos she thought i might be annoyed or angry i assumed fvck off)

me: ok cool, no hard feelings.

end.

i know better now not to assume that if a girl offers u her number without you asking it doesn't mean it's an IOI, she may just want to be friends and wants another orbiter. i'll take nothing for granted anymore and assume the worst rather than be optimistic that a girl is supposedly 'DTF'.

 

[big weezy]

How the conversation should have gone:

her: what you doing?
me: chiling, what you doing?
her: nothing at the moment
me: too bad - we should hang out
her:... at this point, she would've either said "sure" and you would've said "cool - i'll be over in 10 minutes" and stopped by the store to get drinks (without asking her if you should get them); or she would've said "sure, where do u wanna meet" (indicating she doesn't want u coming over) and you would've said "my place or yours" and she would've probably said "um, er, oh" and you would've read that she doesn't want to get with you like that and said "oh wait, never mind, something just came up."

You don't get pvssy by being timid; you get pvssy by taking lead and doing what you want. You asked way too many questions, and you're only reading what you want into her interest, which at the moment is either not there or is very, very, very, VERY low. I mean, c'mon - "xx" at the end of a text? I hope you didn't pay for her food/drink...

you're 100% right. i was too pvssy to go for the pvssy.. she wasn't into it anyway i should done what you said, i know better than that next time if this arises. go for the score not the safe option. i hang my head in shame. should have been brave. lack of options is making me play it safe.

she did the xx not me, i;ve refrained from putting any x's at the end of my texts now.

p.s. the convo went via text.. im not sure she would have done the whole 'oh, er, um thing..'

i paid for food she paid for the drinks after. coulda been alcohol. anyway i'm more cynical now like im still convinced she was never DTF and really just wanted me as an orbiter butt buddy.

 

[big weezy]

How the conversation should have gone:

her: what you doing?
me: chiling, what you doing?
her: nothing at the moment
me: too bad - we should hang out
her:... at this point, she would've either said "sure" and you would've said "cool - i'll be over in 10 minutes" and stopped by the store to get drinks (without asking her if you should get them); or she would've said "sure, where do u wanna meet" (indicating she doesn't want u coming over) and you would've said "my place or yours" and she would've probably said "um, er, oh" and you would've read that she doesn't want to get with you like that and said "oh wait, never mind, something just came up."

You don't get pvssy by being timid; you get pvssy by taking lead and doing what you want. You asked way too many questions, and you're only reading what you want into her interest, which at the moment is either not there or is very, very, very, VERY low. I mean, c'mon - "xx" at the end of a text? I hope you didn't pay for her food/drink...

do you think i should have just left it at ')'? when she texted me that instead of prolonging it? she wasnt interested end of. it's like i think to myself could i have escalated next time when i taught her to play tennis feeling her up n stuff tickling her etc.. maybe maybe not but more likely not.. damn i seem to be torturing myself over this cos i made so many mistakes without realizing it.

stupidly i feel like if i just left it at ) there could be a chance next time but i think im being delusional and wishing there was interest there. f it, im better off without her.

 

[youngmack]

yah you nailed it on the head. i should have just been direct and suggested it. i guess i just didnt expect her to contact me again since i deleted the number. i already moved on in my mind.

anyway it's over now

she texts me just now: did you arrived safe?
me: yes, you smelt really good today, almost kissable.
her: )
me: we'll play tennis next time.. i'll kiss u then.
her :-(

(at this point i wrongfully assumed she wanted the kiss now not next time, wishful thinking)

me: well im already home so i cant kiss u right now.. you'll just have to be patient and wait till next time..

her: you won't!
me: i wont what? i will. i promise. i pinky sweared with u last time! haha
her: ??
her: i wont let u kiss me
me: then i guess we are at an impasse. i guess my intentions are different to yours.. im looking to date u, not be just friends. but i wont force it, it has to be natural.
me: i made things clear last time we met, but if you're looking to be friends(?) then i guess i'll have to look elsewhere and you'll miss out. i wasnt serious about the kissing u next time, only thought your ':-(' text meant u wanted it now so i was playing along.
her: take it easy

(i dont know if she means 'fvck off' or 'calm down' cos she thought i might be annoyed or angry i assumed fvck off)

me: ok cool, no hard feelings.

end.

i know better now not to assume that if a girl offers u her number without you asking it doesn't mean it's an IOI, she may just want to be friends and wants another orbiter. i'll take nothing for granted anymore and assume the worst rather than be optimistic that a girl is supposedly 'DTF'.

Damnnnnnnnn sh*t like this makes me cringe man

 

[J Roc]

Dude charge her to the game and get with females that ACTUALLY LIKE YOU!

 

[VladPatton]

Dude charge her to the game and get with females that ACTUALLY LIKE YOU!

^^this...she wasn't interested from the get go...seems she was just bored...there are greener pastures, man...phuck this boring biznitch.

 

[backbreaker]

the problem isn't that she doens't like you. eveyrone is so quick to jump to the conclusion that if a girl doesn't blow you under the table that she was not interested


she is acting like this beucse you are the ****ing steve urkel of DJism. my god man that was like a live trainwreck

i don't know any girl that would be chumping at the bit to lock lips with you after that god afwul disply of adwarkness.


\

this is the **** that happens when you cherry pick the **** on this forum, take the stuff you want to take, not the stuff you don't think you need to take. you end up like this... going on dates with girls and acting like steve creeper.



this is what you need to do. you need to go talk to women. every day. don't even ask for their phone numbers. you need to get in the mode of knowing how to have a normal chill conversation with a woman. the above sounds like some **** off beavis and butthead.

do you think i should have just left it at ')'? when she texted me that instead of prolonging it? she wasnt interested end of. it's like i think to myself could i have escalated next time when i taught her to play tennis feeling her up n stuff tickling her etc.. maybe maybe not but more likely not.. damn i seem to be torturing myself over this cos i made so many mistakes without realizing it.

you shouldn't have said the **** in the first place, you shoudl not have even considered saying it. that's horrible.


man, just focus on having fun being chill. make her laugh. joke with her, poke fun, talk about everyday ****. the sex /learning how to escalate will come.


rotfl you smelt good? almost kissable? who the **** says that who isn't on death row for being a serial killer

 

[Trump]

so i go to hers, meet up with her outside.. i open the car door for her and surprisingly she does the same for me like in the film 'the bronx tale' or 'goodfellas' i asked her if she seen that and she said no she always opens doors. (i thought it was an IOI but clearly i misread)

anyway the convo to the place was ok but the convo while we were eating was a bit forced.. like i was forcing what i was saying cos i felt on the spot. usually if a woman is interested she'll at least try to make convo but it was very much a reply to me.. i felt pressured to perform and be charming funny etc.

after she suggests we go for a drink so i say ok.. she takes me to a bar nearby but cos im driving i cant drink so neither does she.. she buys me a drinks and i kiss head and we sit down on a table. (at least she reciprocated) but she wouldn't let me touch her hands.. it's like there's no chemistry there and i'm trying to force it. she starts yawning and suggests we go. seemed weird 1 drink and she wants to leave. she made suggestions we play tennis together next time.

should i just give up now?

As soon as she suggests "tennis together next time" should have said "when is next time?" Have to call them on it.

But yeah dude that was weak. She didn't go out with you to eat and drink, she wanted you to make a move. She could have went out with you for her ego but that seems unlikely in this case.

As far giving up, it's not up to us, it's up to her. Although she may not want to waste her night having drinks and food with someone who acts like her brother.

 

[Packers2010]

....my mind goes numb reading some of these..

You already say what your problem is...you act timid...

"You don't want to assume" and "it was too forward"

Look at the convo you just had...instead of saying we're going here at this time, you act timid and offer her options as if you are scared she is going to say no if you tell her where to go...

Stop being and acting timid. Act bold, be bold...if they don't like it fvck em...

this is on the money.

girls don't want OPTIONS man. they want a LEADER! they want to be told this place at this time and we are going to do this. asking them what they want to do is no good. because you will get, " i don't know what do you want to do"

trust me. one of my exes told me i was " too nice" this is why. i was 15 at the time so i can be forgive. doing it now? girls EXPECT you do plan the WHOLE date.

so get to it!

 

[Greasy Pig]

Fvck, OP. that was a painful read but everyone fvcks up royally at some stage when learning game.
Make sure you stick around and absorb the gems being written here every damn day.
It looks like you've accepted your mistakes. That's good. Now go and find a woman who would crawl over broken glass just to obtain a shred of your attention!!!

 

[big weezy]

you shouldn't have said the **** in the first place, you shoudl not have even considered saying it. that's horrible.


man, just focus on having fun being chill. make her laugh. joke with her, poke fun, talk about everyday ****. the sex /learning how to escalate will come.


rotfl you smelt good? almost kissable? who the **** says that who isn't on death row for being a serial killer

i should have mentioned that the reason i talked about her smelling almost kissable is that during our meet yesterday i told her to smell my aftershave and she leant in and said it smelt nice, we were generally talking about fragrances.. this followed on from the meeting last week.

in the car i said something smelt nice, and she said she put lotion spray on her hand and moved it towards my face and i smelt it.

but i hear you.. she was just bored and not interested in the first place.. god knows why she gave me her number.. i kept telling her she was addicted to her phone cos she kept checking it every 30 secs.. then she denied it then made an excuse then tried to prove that she wasnt.. for her to just 1 min later check her phone and text her friends.. wtf. haha.. then she fake yawns.

f it, i shouldn't have gone last night.. the signs were there last week that she's be a spoilt brat.. she's an only child and behaves like one but tries to deny it.

 

[dap]

At least the OP is texting/talking to girls. That is a good first step. Now he just needs to work on what is actually said when interacting with women.

 

[marmel75]

i should have mentioned that the reason i talked about her smelling almost kissable is that during our meet yesterday i told her to smell my aftershave and she leant in and said it smelt nice, we were generally talking about fragrances.. this followed on from the meeting last week.

in the car i said something smelt nice, and she said she put lotion spray on her hand and moved it towards my face and i smelt it.

but i hear you.. she was just bored and not interested in the first place.. god knows why she gave me her number.. i kept telling her she was addicted to her phone cos she kept checking it every 30 secs.. then she denied it then made an excuse then tried to prove that she wasnt.. for her to just 1 min later check her phone and text her friends.. wtf. haha.. then she fake yawns.

f it, i shouldn't have gone last night.. the signs were there last week that she's be a spoilt brat.. she's an only child and behaves like one but tries to deny it.

Then to top it off you allow her to continuously disrespect you to your face and did nothing about it?? You needed to check her on that phone sh1t. Let her know if she wanted to play gossip girl on her phone that's cool but you weren't sticking around for it. Then if she did it again, get up, calmly say "have a nice night" and walk out. Instead you sit there and act like a doormat for her and what made it worse was she was probably texting her friends about YOU and what a horrible date she was on. Yes this happens because I have had girls I am fvcking text me to let me know and we laugh about it later...


Dude, get some self respect.

 

[JimmyBizzle]

Lmao backbreaker, your post made my day.

 

[TheWolfMan]

Same here, fully agree with backbreaker. Dude she actually went out with you, you could have very well hooked up with her, but you F@cked it up big time. No text game whatsoever, No game in general whatsoever. Also, like someone else said just cuz the ***** didn't want to blow you does not mean she's not interested, or wasn't at one time. Hate to break it to you but you friendzoned yourself on this one. Some of the sh!t you said and did make me cringe. Are you f@cking serious dude? Welcome to SoSuave lol.

 

[TheWolfMan]

"You smelt good, almost kissable"- Charles Manson

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

I can see whats going to happen here.

She's going to be using you for a fix when she wants attention. Yup, expect another text in the future, except next time there is a 90% chance of her flaking, then doing the same over and over.


When dating next woman, just make a bloodey move and don't be timid about it. Rejection hurts much less than regret