She chose me..

[rtrev64]

I supposed to be the chooser but she told me..She chose me..Is this a bad thing? I read where I am the chooser not her. She beat me to the punch, so how should I handle that? in your opinion..She said I had to meet her criteria so the power is on her side. How do I get it to my side?

 

[mang0]

Make a sarcastic remark to how flattered you are?

 

[sodbuster]

I'd tell her she also needs to meet YOUR criteria.... YOU weren't just sitting around waiting for her to come along. Maybe don't SAY it,but do it anyway.

 

[EA Gold]

Convince her that you wasn't sure about her if she met your criteria, and whats the deal with the bold letters.

 

[rtrev64]

Sorry bout bold letters. Right now our flames are burning white hot. I been there done that. I just want to make sure the fire does not go out as it has many times already.. what is the key to keeping flames burning? be unpredictable is one I know, do not always be available, do not spend many nights with her..

any other suggestions?

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Your intention should be to build yourself to the point that anything she sais bounces off you, like so many meager bullets against Superman. Women can barely decide what to wear without summoning the board of directors, so if this one believes herself to have looked down upon you and deemed you worthy of her, she is only Queen of the Fortress of Delusion.

Remember that you are with her by YOUR choice, and believe it. Believing is what makes it real. And then you will always "act as if", with no pretense and manipulative behavior.

So if her statements displease you, act as if. This is not to throw a tantrum (God forbid), but to display that she has less of your favor than previously.

 

[azanon]

I'd be more interested in wondering what you did that led to the point of her even daring to say "she chose you". With that comment, she has the power even if she didn't before. Honestly, I'd consider giving this girl some time on her own and if you lose her, so be it. No one freakin' chooses me, I do the choosing! What's more valuable, a "10", or your manhood pride!

 

[wjh]

Your intention should be to build yourself to the point that anything she sais bounces off you, like so many meager bullets against Superman. Women can barely decide what to wear without summoning the board of directors, so if this one believes herself to have looked down upon you and deemed you worthy of her, she is only Queen of the Fortress of Delusion.

Remember that you are with her by YOUR choice, and believe it. Believing is what makes it real. And then you will always "act as if", with no pretense and manipulative behavior.

So if her statements displease you, act as if. This is not to throw a tantrum (God forbid), but to display that she has less of your favor than previously.

Well said.

Don't forget that you do have to choose as well. You may feel like you don't have a choice, but that's because you're a victim of your own desires - they own you. If you're going to be your best you're going to have to learn to control those desires.

 

[rtrev64]

Very well said from you Julius_Seizeher and wjh..Yeah, when she was talking to me she said, I chose you but I think it was from many guys she had orbiting around her but she chose me, just to be fair, thats what I think she meant.

Also now, looking back since the very short time we been together, its amazing what you will learn in a short time of a person. She places Character, work ethic, being in control, being a man, self supporting as her criteria into letting man into her life and be a part of her life.. Of course I get info on what her x's done to her..

I also told her, Not to compare me to the "other guys" she feels burnt her that is not fair to me..I do something wrong, she will compare me to that guy who did the same thing. I told her, women compare us guys to thier x's who caused them the walls to be built up..they judge us with a broad brush.. Its not fair and why, we both males and females stay single because of past wrongs from others, who knows, in the long run, maybe that was your soul mate but because of trust issues, it went down the way side..She agreed.

Communication is good right now.. what is not good is my instability of my own place, my own pad which will change in March, I will get my own place then.. she gave me until March to do that so she an see if she wants to pursue me further.. "self supporting" criteria. If I cant support my self by getting my own pad? I dont blame her.. I would dump me too.. yep, she has the power but little she knows, when she sees the real me and then, I will have the power..Im not a puppy dog being led around..hell she gonna introduce me to her friends.. she said, that is the first step into truting me and in me.. next step is her mom.. Im earning that too..yeah, I think I found me girl.. just gotta play it right..

 

[5string]

"I chose you" = You should feel honored.

You know why she did that. Use it to your advantage. Don't glorify her. Maintain a bit of distance and don't show too much interest. Keep her ears pinned back. That'll keep her IL up.

Let her see that you are continuing to improve yourself in life.

 

[rtrev64]

5 string, you are spot on.. I needed to hear that. Dont glorify her, keep distance.. umm showing to much interest tho is something I must work on but let her see me improving is not so hard..

The power, tables will turn to my favor but right now, she has it because im struggling but yet she chose me of all the guys that have everything.. I did something right and its thanks to you all because I followed the readings here, not 100 percent but enough to have me chosen..

 

[5string]

5 string, you are spot on.. I needed to hear that. Dont glorify her, keep distance.. umm showing to much interest tho is something I must work on but let her see me improving is not so hard..

The power, tables will turn to my favor but right now, she has it because im struggling but yet she chose me of all the guys that have everything.. I did something right and its thanks to you all because I followed the readings here, not 100 percent but enough to have me chosen..

One thing I have learned in life is that when one becomes "interetsed" in something, whether it be a hobby, woman or other endeavor, it's only natural to express that interest.

With women though, if you show or express too much interest, their interest in you will dwindle. That's what's tough. Human nature I suppose.

Like I said, a little distance. And, let her see you are improving your life and your status therein. That will keep her sniffin you, rest assured.

 

[rtrev64]

5 string again you are correct..I hoped I would have learned, maybe I did, it just hard to not show that, like you said, human nature. I seen it to many times, where the fire just dwindles to nothing and guess what? im moving to the next one because I showed to much to soon and did not balance it out. I think once I execute the distance recommendation , not showing to much interest.. improving my life tho is the easy part because thats just in me to do that.

Last friday, we went to a club, we danced (I really need to get that going too..) anyway, she gave me a lap dance, of course me, I showed my sexual interest, touching her ass, breast but in a gentleman way but signaling, yeah, I want whats behind those cloathing she is wearing that night..Of course, I did..

she texted me yesterday, some guy she knew texted her and wanted a lap dance like the way I got one from her that friday night. he mentioned he wanted to touch her ass like the way I did. She responded back to him that I am a gentleman and why she gave me the lap dance. She said she would not respond back to him, she was upset he would tell her that. I told her, if he continues bugging you, tell him I said back off..Thats my girl.. hope that was not wrong approach, I gather its not cause we are still talking and she is coming over to give me a private lap dance tonight..

 

[5string]

5 string again you are correct..I hoped I would have learned, maybe I did, it just hard to not show that, like you said, human nature. I seen it to many times, where the fire just dwindles to nothing and guess what? im moving to the next one because I showed to much to soon and did not balance it out. I think once I execute the distance recommendation , not showing to much interest.. improving my life tho is the easy part because thats just in me to do that.

Last friday, we went to a club, we danced (I really need to get that going too..) anyway, she gave me a lap dance, of course me, I showed my sexual interest, touching her ass, breast but in a gentleman way but signaling, yeah, I want whats behind those cloathing she is wearing that night..Of course, I did..

she texted me yesterday, some guy she knew texted her and wanted a lap dance like the way I got one from her that friday night. he mentioned he wanted to touch her ass like the way I did. She responded back to him that I am a gentleman and why she gave me the lap dance. She said she would not respond back to him, she was upset he would tell her that. I told her, if he continues bugging you, tell him I said back off..Thats my girl.. hope that was not wrong approach, I gather its not cause we are still talking and she is coming over to give me a private lap dance tonight..

OMG brother. Ask yourself why she would be telling you what the other guy said to her. Why?

Validation #1. #2, to make sure you know she has options and you should feel lucky you got the "dance." I actually think that is a bit disrespectful and immature on her part to say that to be honest. You'd better be careful with this one.

When you get your dance tonight, you had better finish what she started. Make it a done deal.

Getting back to the subject of interest, I think we are conditioned to think that interest should generate interest. Just does not work that way with females as I stated above. Just the opposite actually, except maybe in the short term.

Get it done tonight. I want a FR.

 

[rtrev64]

Getting it done tonight will not be a problem. Basically, now that she has the upperhand, I will wait to gain the advantage, reel her in, then let the reel go, go back to the ocean and then reel her back in.. I just dont want it to turn into a game because she will sniff it out and not play ball.

Actually, I have the opportunity as I see it to shine and make her want me even more. Friday we have a dinner date and she will introduce me to her friends which is a step into her and I being seen in her social circle as a item. Then down the line, when I get my pad, then her mom, son.

Its after friday that I am aiming too turning the tables on her by following your advice, distance, not put her up in a pedestal, interest is there but not over floweth. Just watch. I will be the perfect gental man, not kissing her ass type, a james bond type of style. I got my plan.. after she gushes for me, then the next day, I will fade off then reappear, then fade off.. you know.. reel her in, let the reel go, reel her back in..keep her off balance..

Kill the wuss bag inside of me while Im at it..