She Cheated...

[danthemann]

I've been browsing these forums over the past couple of months every now and then when im looking for advice and id like to say most of this stuff really works and i'm really happy it has.

To start off i've been in a relationship with this girl for 4 months now. We have so much fun together and we can just never get enough of seeing eachother. It took her until this past saturday night for her to finally tell me she really loves me and cares so much about me. She told me shes never ever felt this way about anyone else in her life (whether i believe that now or not i dont know).

Well this past saturday we went to a party together. She hasnt been to a party in 2 months or so because her parents grounded her and we had to see eachother behind their backs and even then we saw eachother on weekends and during the week. we always made time for eachother. so she decides at 10 oclock or so to start drinking her liquor at this party. I trusted her and all and i thought shed be ok but i was very disappointed.

At about 145am sunday morning the party was still going on. i decided i needed to go outside and smoke a little weed to relax. Im out there for 15-20 minutes or so talking to some guy smoking a cig. I walk inside and my girlfriend is nowhere to be found. I knew something was up. I ran upstairs and broke down the main bedroom door only to find her lieing on the bed motionless with 2 guys around her. one of which had his pants down. I turned the lights on and ill never forget the image i saw. NEVER. i close my eyes and i see it.

Im not going to lie. She was extremely drunk. i wouldnt put it past anyone to say she couldve been blacking out. But this is not an excuse for anything. I really cared for this girl and everyone tells me i gotta dump her which isnt what i want to do. We talked about it sunday night at my house and after a good hour of me completely yelling at her i could see how sorry she was just from the amount of tears that had piled up. I told her that we needed to make a plan for friday night and not talk until then and so we did.

I need advice here guys. I feel like if i got back with her i could eventually trust her again and that shed stick to what she says and how she says she would never ever do it again and that it was a mistake. Being an understanding human being and an example of it Everyone makes big mistakes. but my other side tells me she cheated and be done with it. but the past 4 or so months with her have been so much fun and have really been some of the best times of my life.

 

[Daniel1099]

bro...

DROP HER

move on...

you will look like a chump if you keep this up

 

[Drewskie]

Well, I think you know the obvious answer on what to do here. You seem to be very young, and a girl getting that drunk at a young age, any for that matter, is an immediate red flag. I don't dount she was wasted, but f-ing two guys?? She had to have had some idea as to what she was up to, regardless of what she says. You'll never know the real reason behind it, and that will eat you up for as long as you stay with her, which will always make you not trust her. Ho wlong were you outside?? How do you know that she didn't plan to hook up with one or both of the dudes when she wasn't that wasted, and just waited for the opportune time while you were gone? Did they invite her, or you to this party? In my opinion, it really doesn't matter anymore, what's done is done, so you might as well move on.

 

[danthemann]

i was gone for 20 minutes or so. she didnt even know the guys and they didnt know us. they were some random party kids who just happened to be there. im not doubting that she willingly did it and she even told me what she did the next day. the fact of the matter is... do people deserve second chances? ive made mistakes plenty in life and yeah im only 17. i know if it were me id want that second chance. but yeah that whole not knowing the reason is defiantly eating me up. she gave me somesort of reason but she still says she doesnt know exactly why. i told her im giving her till friday to think of exactly why and if she doesnt i dont think itll rebound..

this is the first time ive been in a situation like this. and even though she screwed up she knows she did big time and says she didnt realize what she was doing until i walked in. i know its complete bs and all but she sounds like shes actually sorry. i saw her crying yesterday when we were talking about it all and ive seen fake crying and ive seen legit weeping and it looked like legit weeping of complete sadness. she says she feels completely dirty and well good because she should

 

[Anchorman]

bro, drop her. never speak to her. end of story.

I was in this situation and acted like a chump, and tried to be "friends" with the girl. Worst decision of my life; It is the best thing for you to drop her out of your life for good, no matter WHAT she says because she will say almost anything to get you back in her life.

I am going to say this again: no matter how much it hurts, DROP HER.

 

[jeffthechef]

hm...forgiveness is a virtue

if i were you..i would forgive her..because you can't be attached to her and this situation...and then i would end it...BUT i don't drink/smoke and would never go out with someone who did...that is one of the main reasons i would end it..and the cheating is a nice reason to add on

you should consider a weedless life...it will only screw you up...

 

[shaunuk]

Mate, you need to look at the situation for what it is.

You turned you back from 20 minutes, and as soon as you turn back round, she's upstairs with two random guys probably fvcking and sucking them (did she?).

And then she says she doesn't know why she did it and she didn't realise what she was doing till you walked in.

Bullsh1t mate. Yes, she was crying, because she's genuinely sorry that it has upset you. Doesn't mean she respects you and is worthy of being your girlfriend.

Should you give her a second chance. No. FVCK NO. You're young mate, right now you wanna take the easy way out and just 'forgive her'. But that ISN'T the easy way out, you'll think about it everyday for months, maybe even every day until your relationship eventually ends (as most do). Yeah she was drunk, but she can't be trusted. Just think what's gonna happen next time she has a bit to drink and you're not around. You bet mate.

Don't think what I'm saying is harsh, I'm just being real with you bud. You're really young, you don't need to be cooped up with a cheat you can't trust as far as you can throw a horsebox. Peace mate.

 

[Latim]

Forgive but DO NOT forget what she did. Don't give her the satisfaction of being able to manipulate your feelings. Accept what happened, drop her and move on. You really do not need a girl who would cheat on you with TWO guys in the space of 20 MINUTES. This party was a blessing in disguise because now you know her character and she can't poison you anymore with her crap. Oh and crocodile tears? DO NOT fall for this dude!

 

[playa99]

mate, i know you will have hear this from everyone, but you need to end it, will you trust her again? can you trust her to go and drink? you left her on her own for 20 minutes and she cheated, if she does that when your there, she will do it when your not there, end it mate it will just cause you pain i know its hard but a mans gotta do whatta mans gotta do!

 

[Five To One]

She forced your hand.

These are defining moments of your life.

I believe that cheating doesnt always mean you have to break up with her but in this situation... dang dude, within twenty minutes you say? how dumb is she to cheat on you when your at the same party.

 

[nismo-4]

Dude, don't chase a girl that cheated on you or an ex-girl. That's common sense you should grasp ASAP.

When you sense infidelity in a girl, make her check herself before she wreck herself. You must end this sh*t.

 

[Smack]

lol

You couldn't even turn around for 20 minutes without her getting shagged by two guys at the same time?

Sounds like a keeper to me ...

 

[shaunuk]

Smack summed it up better than I did. Cheers mate

Dump her ass please. Learn the proper ways now when you're 17, don't get to 20 and be a typical lameass who'll tolerate anything

 

[Daddy The Pimp]

I dont even wanna read this shit.

#1rule She cheated , game's over.

Period.

Edit: I read it .The bitch was about to suck to cocks while you were 20 meters away from her. And your thinking of getting her back ? Are you serious . Man , i know it might hurt to see that your little princess is not exactly what you thought . But you gotta move on . She cheated once , she will cheat again for sure . And you dont deserve this emotional drama .

 

[It's-Me]

i was gone for 20 minutes or so. she didnt even know the guys and they didnt know us. they were some random party kids who just happened to be there. im not doubting that she willingly did it and she even told me what she did the next day. the fact of the matter is... do people deserve second chances? ive made mistakes plenty in life and yeah im only 17. i know if it were me id want that second chance. but yeah that whole not knowing the reason is defiantly eating me up. she gave me somesort of reason but she still says she doesnt know exactly why. i told her im giving her till friday to think of exactly why and if she doesnt i dont think itll rebound..

this is the first time ive been in a situation like this. and even though she screwed up she knows she did big time and says she didnt realize what she was doing until i walked in. i know its complete bs and all but she sounds like shes actually sorry. i saw her crying yesterday when we were talking about it all and ive seen fake crying and ive seen legit weeping and it looked like legit weeping of complete sadness. she says she feels completely dirty and well good because she should

Most guys will tell you to break up with her, but in this case I'm not sure - it still remains your decision though.

Honestly, I'll acknowledge the fact that she was drunk... but I still don't think it's enough to explain why she did and she had to be at least somewhat aware of what she was doing.

You said she was really sad and crying a lot about the whole situation. I don't think she would crying if she didn't care.

We are still left with the whole trust issue... I wouldn't be able to trust her if she doesn't give me a valid reason for doing it, and I don't think you should either.

Just my opinion bro . Good luck!

 

[Furnezz]

you should consider a weedless life...it will only screw you up...

How so? Nothing wrong with having fun every once in a while (unless you abuse it), it's not like weed is addictive.
EDIT on that ^: Lol well I guess it can get psychologically addictive, but there's not withdrawals from it and it's not as bad as other stuff.

Back on topic: Personally, I would reject her ASAP. I find it pretty pointless to get into serious situations if you're just in HS.

 

[jeffthechef]

^...there's a reason why weed is illegal
i'm not even going to bother arguing this point any further

 

[KidwithSocks]

drop her

like a bag of rocks. cut contact with her 100%
i don't know WHY are you still with her, i understand how you must of felt i think it happens to most of us before at least once..

and weed isn't bad, mmk?

 

[Bible_Belt]

You should tell her that the only thing that will make it right is if she picks up another girl to have a threesome with you. Have the threesome, THEN dump her, preferably for the other girl she brought you for the threesome.

 

[KarmaSutra]

You should tell her that the only thing that will make it right is if she picks up another girl to have a threesome with you. Have the threesome, THEN dump her, preferably for the other girl she brought you for the threesome.

This is most definitely great revenge advice.

My concern is why you even feel the need to seek validation from us when you know, and I sure as fvck KNOW you do, that this broad is simply not stable enough mentally to appreciate a relationship.

Neither are you.

Come on young brother, you have no business thinking; " 'til death do us part". You should be having fun with girls. Give yourself permission to let go of adult reasoning, relationship wise, and just have some fun.

Commitment should only concern your education. Chicks are in the #2 spot until you get a career started and have the mental strength to appreciate who you are.

She should be out there sucking d!ck. You should be out eating pvssy, honing your skills.