She cant decide between me and another

[DJinTraining06]

Well guys i been posting like crazy bout my match.com girl who had suddenly gotten cold, after seein me 3 times in a week.

Well she finally was honest with me. I asked her out for firday. And she said can i be honest wiht you? "i hope u dont get upset with me, but im gettin kinda serious with this other guy"

I say how is that possible? We went out 3 times in 8 days, u were texitng me every day, tellin me we had great chemistry, and that u felt so comfortable around me. Not too mention u planned the 4th date, not me. U have the flu for 5 days and cancel our 4th date, and now a week later ur serious with a guy? How can that be.

Shes like: i wasnt lying bout bein sick, i work with this guy we never even went out, it just kinda happend. I dont know what to do, i really like u. But i like him too. i havent made a decision yet, im kinda laying low. i dont wanna see eithe rof u right now cuz i dont think its fair to lead u guys on.

So then shes like i underderstand if u never wanna speak to me again. I say "is that wat u want?" she goes "no i hope u do, i think we have great chemistry and we have alot of funnwhen we go out". "I've never done this before, i am confused. I'm sorry"

So i was trying to play it cool, and was like i know i understand, its up to u. do what ur gut tells u. Then i made some jokes to lighten it up a bit.
But then i couldnt help it i got a little testy, and she was like dont freak out on me, im sorry. I said im not freakin out,l i just dont get why u came on so strong if this was the case. she said "it happebned at the same time"

So then shes like ill call ya when im ready. so i said sure u got my #.



What should i do with this chick? I am so bummed over this, i been out with alot of girls and this one just seemed diff, i really clicked with her. should i giv eher an ultimatum eventually? or shouldi just dithc her. I really like her. i know u will all say oneitis but i know what im saying, this chick is cool.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

She's not the one who can't decide. You know what you should do, why are you even asking?

 

[Lucas718]

If she can't decide, you make the decision for her. Wish her good luck and send her on her way.

 

[mastersF]

I hate to dish out cliches but if you've got a few other hot babes hanging onto you, then you'd be the one that can't decide. Go increase your choice of women and you'll feel less bummed. Don't worry though such girls turn up every once in a while to spice up our lives so don't take it personally.

 

[Unregistered]

Do you think she's telling him the same thing?

It doesn't look to good to me.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Do you think she's telling him the same thing?

It doesn't look to good to me.

she said she hasnt told him yet but plans on tellin him tommorow at work cuz she works with him. I know all girls lie, but i kinda beleive her. Cuz she could be gettin rid of me and she aint. But i have a feelin im the backup plan, and thats the guy she really wants. so i know u guys all think this is obivous, i should say - see ya! But im tellin u this is the girl. Ive been on a billion dates, had several gf's. This one i could like talk to her for 3 hrs online, and think it was like 30 mins. She seemed genuienly confused about it, she flat out said "i really like u, i think we have great chemistry and have so much fun together" so i think its worth waiting out. I just dont have it in me to see multiple girls i dont know wats wrong with me, im a throw my eggs in on enasket person in all facets of life, i cant help it. I cant even look at other girls right now. Ok maybe look, but i dont have any desire to ask them out. I must be a total chump. I feel like gettin trashed i practically groveled over her too i totally blew it just now. I know exactl yhow to act, and i didnt i acted like a weenie, *****ing to her bout how she led me on and stuff. This so suave **** only works if u have some self control, i apparently dont.

 

[DJinTraining06]

I hate to dish out cliches but if you've got a few other hot babes hanging onto you, then you'd be the one that can't decide. Go increase your choice of women and you'll feel less bummed. Don't worry though such girls turn up every once in a while to spice up our lives so don't take it personally.

i got emotionally attached, i wish i didnt. i havent been the saem since i broke up with my girlfriend in may. I have been on like 8 dates since then tho and i turned them all down except 2 who turned me down. A few of them were cute too, they just didnt do anythign for me mentally. so it aint like im depserate to be with a girl, its just this one. this girl was perfect, we talked about the same crap, had the same dry humor, it was great. this guy at her job must be a stud, cuz she was totally into me. She made no bones about it she flat out told me. he must have told her he has a 17 inch schlong or something.

 

[KoalaKing]

You have three choices, (1) Kill him, but make sure you do this properly, because if you don't, you will spend the next 20 years of your life in prison, and believe me, it isn't much fun at all, (2) Confront him and frighten him, so that he is to fearful of you to go anywhere near the girl again, this has to also be done properly and be convincing, (3) Forget about this girl and start searching for another one.

 

[Cod3r]

If she can't decide, you make the decision for her. Wish her good luck and send her on her way.

I can always tell the dudes that actually get women on this forum. Listen to this fella, its THAT easy... its a win-win


-Cod3r

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

DUDE I am in the exact same position.

We got along FANTASTICALLY. We hooked up the first night, then she wanted to not do anything for a while so she wouldn't feel like a slut, then she even tried leaving after hanging out without giving me a hug. Then I find out she's totally into this dude across the hall from her. Then she cancels on plans. Then I didn't talk to her for a week, and I just talked to her online tonight. Didn't ask to make any plans. It's obvious I'm not going to be dating her any time soon, but I'm just going to try the friends thing beacuse I have such bad oneitis and we got along well enough that I think it can work as friends.

IDK what to do honestly... My first inclination was break off all contact, so that's what I did for a week. Now that i started talking to her again idk if it was the right decision, and I know it's certainly going ot make life more stressful for me.

 

[Cod3r]

^ ^ ^ You fellas just kill yourselves !

It's actually sad, seriously. What do you get out of fiending for a female that you KNOW in your heart dosen't feel for you at all ?? I've been there and really other people told me and I never saw it until one day I noticed all this love and affection I was giving wasn't coming back to me, why waste your love and affection... just stop it, its not healthy.. i hope u listen


-Cod3r

 

[Elky]

Tell her to just let you know when she's decided. Until then dont talk to her (forget her.)

 

[KoalaKing]

I can always tell the dudes that actually get women on this forum. Listen to this fella, its THAT easy... its a win-win


-Cod3r

Don't be tricked into the thinking that all guys who are extremely popular with the hottest babes will all just walk away from this type of situation, as many don't, I am always seeing shows on tv about true life crimes of which DJ types of guys who can get just about any hot babe that they want have killed some other guy to get the girl that they desire.

I think they do it because they have just come to expect to allure any woman that they desire, so when they can't get one, they kill the guy who is with her in order to have their own way yet again.

It is often said that familiarity breeds contempt, if you expect to get what you want but you can't get it, it can make one very angry.

Also I see many reports of DJ type guys who also kill their own wives and girlfriends so that it makes it easier for them to run off with another girl whom they desire.

These guys are never very popular amongst the public or the media, as they are veiwed as having had everything to live for, but these guys are definately around, more than ever, just think of, Ted Bundy. :crazy:

 

[DJinTraining06]

Don't be tricked into the thinking that all guys who are extremely popular with the hottest babes will all just walk away from this type of situation, as many don't, I am always seeing shows on tv about true life crimes of which DJ types of guys who can get just about any hot babe that they want have killed some other guy to get the girl that they desire.

I think they do it because they have just come to expect to allure any woman that they desire, so when they can't get one, they kill the guy who is with her in order to have their own way yet again.

It is often said that familiarity breeds contempt, if you expect to get what you want but you can't get it, it can make one very angry.

Also I see many reports of DJ type guys who also kill their own wives and girlfriends so that it makes it easier for them to run off with another girl whom they desire.

These guys are never very popular amongst the public or the media, as they are veiwed as having had everything to live for, but these guys are definately around, more than ever, just think of, Ted Bundy. :crazy:

Whoa where the hell is this post goin? Whats with all the talk about killing peole, geez. I just said i was bummed and wasnt sure what to tell this girl. Damm take it easy people lol.

 

[Warboss Alex]

if she can't decide it means she doesn't want you 100%. you don't want to be with a girl who doesn't you 100%. move on!

 

[wayword]

DUDE I am in the exact same position.

We got along FANTASTICALLY. We hooked up the first night, then she wanted to not do anything for a while so she wouldn't feel like a slut, then she even tried leaving after hanging out without giving me a hug. Then I find out she's totally into this dude across the hall from her. Then she cancels on plans. Then I didn't talk to her for a week, and I just talked to her online tonight.

Yup, had a similar thing happen too. I think this happens more with young girls... They have A.D.D. and can mess around with a guy one minute - but the next totally forget about him and pounce on the new guy.

Anyhow, not sure how you can salvage that. I guess just leave it on the backburner and go spin some more plates...

 

[skip2mylou781]

dont listen to KoalaKing....hes not a human being - his advice was actually to KILL the other guy, and he sounded very serious about it too.........wow THANKS for the advice criminal but i dont think DJintraining needs that

i already told u, HAVE MORE GIRLS, and u wont care so much about any particular girl

 

[insomniac]

OK, this is now EXACTLY like what I went through and mentioned in one of your other threads. Go read it again.

She's probably flaking on the other guy too (she said she's laying low and doesn't want to see either of you), and he's going to be wondering what's going on just the same. She'll have to tell him. In my situation, she told me the other guy "didn't take it well." If he's the prototypical "AFC", he's going to become insecure and demand that she make a decision, and there's a chance he'll sabotage it himself.

All you can do is accept she's gone and move on. Do not contact her again. In my situation, I just told her we have great chemistry, I haven't met anyone like her, sorry that's her decision, and I'm not going to be waiting around. She came running back after a week and asked to see only me shortly afterwards. Can't say it'll be the same for you, but it has happened before.

 

[DJinTraining06]

OK, this is now EXACTLY like what I went through and mentioned in one of your other threads. Go read it again.

She's probably flaking on the other guy too (she said she's laying low and doesn't want to see either of you), and he's going to be wondering what's going on just the same. She'll have to tell him. In my situation, she told me the other guy "didn't take it well." If he's the prototypical "AFC", he's going to become insecure and demand that she make a decision, and there's a chance he'll sabotage it himself.

All you can do is accept she's gone and move on. Do not contact her again. In my situation, I just told her we have great chemistry, I haven't met anyone like her, sorry that's her decision, and I'm not going to be waiting around. She came running back after a week and asked to see only me shortly afterwards. Can't say it'll be the same for you, but it has happened before.

I dunno my gut and my experience wit girls tells me she wants this other guy more than he wants her, and prob he showed her a little interest recently and she got all excited, and now wants to see if somethin happens between them before she goes out wiht me. I do genuinely beleive she likes me cuz she was texting me like clockwork 2 weeks ago, for no reason everyday. She was leaving me myspace comments, talkin to me online for hrs at a time.

but last night I emailed her and acted all AFC about it, i pretty much dug my grave. I'm just so fed up with girls, there are so many girls that i could go out with right now at the drop of a hat, cuz i am a pretty good looking guy. I have like 3 freinds from college that r always flirting with me, a few others as well. But i dont like em. Not one girl i ever like ever wants to be wit me, it blows. COuldnt contain my afd-ness last night i totally flipped my lid.

 

[mrRuckus]

Walking away you win either way.

She's either going to be ohhh nooo what a man he can walk away from me i need to get his attention back (needs to validate herself)... and the other guy probably is like pleeeease go with me being a whiny little b1tch. Just give her the impression that you're cool with it and you'll see other girls. Well don't just give her the impression you might want to actually do that but we all know we're not all DJ nirvana yet so you probably won't get right on another girl but there's nothign wrong with leaving that impression.

OR none of that happens and since you're not in contact with her you stop caring.

It's not quite the same as with someone you haven't been seeing that long, but my most recent ex has been giving me some hell mixed with "good old buddy" vibes mixed with jealousy of other girls lately. I just got bored with it and didn't see the point of even talking to her anymore mostly because it doesn't jive with me that she gets my friendship and company if we're no longer fvcking or dating so I blocked her on AIM and all that. Of course, I still peek at her away messages and whatever and since then every away message she puts up has been really sad... (things like "hopeless. futile. going to bed."... ha..) as if she noticed i blocked her but is too proud at the moment to say anything about it directly to me. And the best part is I care less and less every day AND she's the one who broke up with me! It just totally flips their world upside down when you walk away.

Of course if you walk away she might not care at all which means good riddance anyway. But still you get to forget about it and stop caring much easier than if you talk to her all the time.


Dwight Shrute on "the office" last week:
"reject a woman and she'll never let it go. that's one of the many weaknesses of their kind. also weak arms."
..pretty close to the actual quote..