She cancels 3rd date

[Lateralus]

I'm a little confused right now.

I've been dating this woman (23 y/o) for three weeks now. We actually had two dates after we met, and already had sex. All the 'signs' were like she was really into me. Many same interests, music, she initiated texting almost every day, etc...

We set up a third date for tomorrow in the afternoon and she just called to cancel it, because her week was so busy and she needs time to rest. Which I believe, 'cause it was a very busy week for her. So no problem but...

In the same phone call, she didn't reschedule or anything. Instead, she said she was very busy next week and was full every evening. I didn't even asked her for that information, she just gave it. She made plans for tommorow night: going out with her friends. That, she didn't cancel... Quite obvious what her priorities are.

I was eating when she called, and a little surprised. So I didn't give much of a reaction, except: ''ok''. But after the call I started thinking.

I'd like to see your honest opinions about this one. I feel like she just NEXT'd me, but I'm not sure. Since she has always initiated texting, I expect she will do this again. But how should I react? 'cause I truly feel like **** right now.

Thx.

 

[Iceberg]

Nothin to feel like sh*t about. You already banged her. Besides, you've only been on 2 dates.

Alright so she f**ked up and sent a confusing message. If she says next week is booked, then don't reward her with attention throughout next week.

Then try her out one more time. If she throws some more BS at you, then you know for sure.

But loosen up. Regardless of whether or not you see her again, you got to put your D in her V. That's what it's all about.

 

[Zunder]

My honest opinion - she DID just next you.
But keep us informed of any developments.

 

[gaspipe]

Its funny the way it works but when women feel you are no longer a challenge and that they are operating from a posiion of strength thats when their interest starts to wane.

I would withdraw and giver some space and let her start wondering whether you have other options. Its at this stage that their interest starts to peak again.

 

[Lateralus]

Thanks guys!

So it actually comes down to: man up and withdraw for while. It could be she nexted me already. Maybe all the texting caused me to be no challenge for her anymore. Anyhow: that's the plan combined with zero expectations.

 

[pdx1138]

you should already know all of this Lateralus.

you've been a member since 2009 and posted 60 times.

 

[Burroughs]

She could been testing a branch (You) while going out with you and decided that the old branch was better (richer)?

 

[Lateralus]

@ pdx1138: Yeah...I'm an insecure guy.

Spinning plates is the way to go. Damn, as I think of it: I behaved like a total AFC with all the damn texting.

 

[The_411]

There could be a thousand reasons why she cancelled absent a massive family tragedy all the reasons are an indicator that her interest level isn't high enough.

A girl who is into you will make sure you're on the agenda even if she can't make it she will even rescheduled her calendar to make time for you.

Chances are she either found a new guy or had a guy she was interested in who wasn't giving her the time of day and now has shown a speck of interest. Or you were too available or acted too needy.

 

[Desdinova]

If a woman wants to see you, she'll make room in her schedule. The fact that she's going to be busy for two weeks straight tells me that she isn't all that interested.

Don't initiate contact with her. If she initiates, respond. Wait for her to want a date (if she ever does). If not, let her fall by the wayside. In the meantime, keep your options open to dating other women.

 

[Lateralus]

Yeah guys, that's right. I'll wait if she initiate contact next week, otherwise I'll delete her from FB, erase her number and move on.

 

[Jitterbug]

Regardless of her behaviours, if it's only 3 weeks in, keep all your options open i.e spin plates and see other girls. It's a waste of mental energy to guess her motives.

 

[window]

I'd just play it cool, dont get angry or chase her etc. Just say no worries and leave it at that. More than likely she has moved on but she may return. Dont make it so easy for her if she does.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Spin more plates.

 

[Lateralus]

Thx, I will follow your advice, guys . Already chatting up with some female associates haha. But this one is the first contraction of oneitis since my ex-GF.

Anyway, another interesting thing to add, because many of us enjoy analysing things:

At our first date, approx two weeks after we met, we talked a lot. And we got to a point that she told me she is not into one-night stands, that she had one in her life but it was horrible. She also mentioned it was almost 1 year ago she had sex.

But at the same night, it was on... at her place. At the second date, it was on also as I banged her in my appartment.

Isn't that a good example of words versus actions?

Actually it was bothering me, 'cause her actions show that the chance is very high she's telling me pure bull****.

On the other hand, after the second sexual encounter she said something like: 'Oh... it's been so long that I forgot how nice it is to lay in bed next to someone...' This remark I thought of as a positive thing.

Anyhow, it shows how much some women, impulsively, rely on their feelings and not on rational thoughts.

 

[The Duke]

Lateralus.....the best thing I ever learned about women was from my exwife. She taught me to "believe actions over words" when dealing with the opposite sex. I've applied this to every woman I've encountered since and it has never steered me wrong. It keeps me from wasting my time investing in somebody that is a flake beneath the surface.

And as you said, the other thing to never forget is how much they go by what their "feelings" dictate at the moment.

A woman that has "high" interest in you is the only kind to have. That type of girl will always be available and do what you ask. Afterall that type of girl thinks you are the "$hit", she'll know other girls will find you amazing as well and won't want to risk losing you.

I suggest you spin a few more. But just keep this one at bay for a bit and save her for a rainy day. May the best one win! ;-)

 

[Lateralus]

Thanks for your excellent reply. Good advice from your ex-wife.

A woman that has "high" interest in you is the only kind to have. That type of girl will always be available and do what you ask. Afterall that type of girl thinks you are the "$hit", she'll know other girls will find you amazing as well and won't want to risk losing you.

This. I just read Anti-Dump Machine. It's all about finding girls with high interest.

 

[Lateralus]

Update: She just texted me, asking how my day was. I didn't reply.

Second text: she apologizes and says she thinks that I really disliked that she cancelled yesterday.

Still nothing about a new date proposal, so her words mean **** to me.

 

[Burroughs]

Second text: she apologizes and says she thinks that I really disliked that she cancelled yesterday.

Her intention now is to leverage her perceived 'power' over you...she gave you sex, then withdrew..she is trying to run game on you....vagueness is HER friend, CUTTING OFF ATTENTION is yours; so stand strong and don't give in. Most attractive girls will do this. The trick is to find a hot girl with high IL who won't.

 

[Lateralus]

Thanks for the advice. I'll go for the 3/4 rule, I'm definitely not giving any response tonight. If she needs attention tonight, she shouldn't have cancelled the appointment.
I won't give in!

Jusr received a third text: 'does it really take so long to think about this? '

Nr 4: 'Ok, you got me! You don't have to respond, I just wanted to let you know that I didn't mean it in a negative way. The date just didn't fit in today, because I wanted to take it easy after the exams. Good night.'