She called me drunk

[JonnyD123]

And I answered. FML.

Ex npd, been NC for almost 2 weeks now. Haven't blocked her due to other circumstances but I was just starting to fall asleep when she called, kinda caught me off guard. She cried for 15 mins, told me 'she hated me' (even though she's the one that broke it off). She ended up hanging up, I didn't call her back.

Desperately trying not to be sucked back in. Could use your strength and support brothers. Been feeling really good lately too.

 

[Bible_Belt]

She hung up on you. She's challenging you to keep up the NC.

 

[JonnyD123]

She hung up on you. She's challenging you to keep up the NC.

I talked to her brother who i'm cool with, he said her phone died or she shut it off cause it went straight to voicemail. I'm chillin right now, not trying to be captain save-a-ho but still just wanted to make sure she's alright.

 

[Bible_Belt]

boo. Calling her brother is a p!ss-poor attempt at NC. But what's done is done. Don't answer the next time she calls.

 

[sazc]

Charlie Puth (sp?) Has a great song called "Attention". It explains how females behave. They break up with you, then tell you "you were the best", "I hate you", run around trashing you, and then "happen" to cross your parth looking great and acting kind towards you, flirting.

It's all about how they really don't give a sh1t about you, they're just don't things to get your attention. They aren't going to do anything with your attention, they just want your attention for self validation.

This is what your ex is doing.

Go read the lyrics to the song. I think it will make you wiser about this sh1t.

 

[RedScorpion]

She's acting this way because you're not sucking up to her to make her feel better. Because of this show of strength, she's doubting whether or not she's made the right decision. Enough to call you and throw an emotional hissy fit in order to see how you react. You are doing the right thing - overall, and for you.

Crying, hatred, - note crying has an innate subconscious emotional trigger. Same with if someone you have affection for declares hatred - emotional trigger. If you show an uncoordinated reaction (being emotional or out of your normal state) - it means to her you have affection for her still, she gets what she wants - she ****s off.

As soon as she gets the validation that 'Oh, I did make the right move - he is lesser than me' - she will be gone. She left you. That was her decision - and she is 100% aware of it.

You keep doing this until she declares that she wants to 'try again' or 'make something work'. Then you say 'I'll think about it'. And end the conversation for that then. Do not agree to anything at that moment, because you do need to think and get your head straight first. From a calm point of view, not the desperate 'Let's fix things' view.

Give it minimum 3 days - more like a week to be best - to decide your response. Leave, or give it another shot. If you do decide another shot, offer up a neutral meeting spot like coffee (this is for public/social awareness, minimize outrages and fits, destruction of your property(have read about this on here)). Talk with her, don't get into heated discussion, just calm talk. If it goes well to you, depending on what you hear - you can lean towards another meeting.

Never ever ever ever - gush about your feelings. I have read too many stories in the NC thread to know that this destroys any sort of chance. Stay detached, stay unemotional. Remove yourself if the situation gets tense. Be cordial always - in your own control.
------
Underlying theme though - 95-99% her resolution to quit the relationship is still there, and she's looking for that signal of weakness from you that she made the right call. Not to work something out. You're doing the right thing - continue doing the right thing. There are many stories of guys 'giving in' emotionally here, thinking it will help. But it never does. Trying not to be exaggerated here. But... yeah.

Calm. Unemotional. Reluctant. That's the three main things I'd focus on here.

 

[JonnyD123]

She's acting this way because you're not sucking up to her to make her feel better. Because of this show of strength, she's doubting whether or not she's made the right decision. Enough to call you and throw an emotional hissy fit in order to see how you react. You are doing the right thing - overall, and for you.

Crying, hatred, - note crying has an innate subconscious emotional trigger. Same with if someone you have affection for declares hatred - emotional trigger. If you show an uncoordinated reaction (being emotional or out of your normal state) - it means to her you have affection for her still, she gets what she wants - she ****s off.

As soon as she gets the validation that 'Oh, I did make the right move - he is lesser than me' - she will be gone. She left you. That was her decision - and she is 100% aware of it.

You keep doing this until she declares that she wants to 'try again' or 'make something work'. Then you say 'I'll think about it'. And end the conversation for that then. Do not agree to anything at that moment, because you do need to think and get your head straight first. From a calm point of view, not the desperate 'Let's fix things' view.

Give it minimum 3 days - more like a week to be best - to decide your response. Leave, or give it another shot. If you do decide another shot, offer up a neutral meeting spot like coffee (this is for public/social awareness, minimize outrages and fits, destruction of your property(have read about this on here)). Talk with her, don't get into heated discussion, just calm talk. If it goes well to you, depending on what you hear - you can lean towards another meeting.

Never ever ever ever - gush about your feelings. I have read too many stories in the NC thread to know that this destroys any sort of chance. Stay detached, stay unemotional. Remove yourself if the situation gets tense. Be cordial always - in your own control.
------
Underlying theme though - 95-99% her resolution to quit the relationship is still there, and she's looking for that signal of weakness from you that she made the right call. Not to work something out. You're doing the right thing - continue doing the right thing. There are many stories of guys 'giving in' emotionally here, thinking it will help. But it never does. Trying not to be exaggerated here. But... yeah.

Calm. Unemotional. Reluctant. That's the three main things I'd focus on here.

This is exactly what I was looking for, thank you.

 

[dude99]

I talked to her brother who i'm cool with, he said her phone died or she shut it off cause it went straight to voicemail. I'm chillin right now, not trying to be captain save-a-ho but still just wanted to make sure she's alright.

A cluster b who broke up with you, calls and picks a fight with you and hangs up on you, and you want to know if she is alright?

You don't want to get sucked back in, i have bad news for you. You are already sucked back in. Caring if she is ok means you were never out of her grasp. Calling her brother and discussing her says you still care.

Block her number. Delete and block on all social media. Do real no contact if you want to move on. Do not entertain her or you will never get rid of her.

 

[derby1]

you know the day you both split up??? she had infact split up with you months ago in her mind, you from that moment was a shell

 

[kronreiff]

You called her brother to check on her phone status? You're hardly in NC mode to say the least. Matter of fact, you're showing traits of oneitis and high school phone games. Grow up and get game and frame, then we'll talk!