She broke up with me over text need help.

[EyeBRollin]

curious, you not only missed the msg, but are also contradicting yourself, first I said don't matter, because she can, and most likely will, that alone shouldn't influence on what you should or shouldn't do,

but then you say I give too much importance to woman, but its you who are saying to act in a way so you don't act like she find you buthurt. this action mean what she thinks matter

so what it is?

Read my posts more carefully. Gentlemen act with class regardless of the other person actions. That concept clearly doesn’t register with you.

 

[Glassguy]

Response:

“Ok”

I literally read to this post and didnt need to ready any further. This is your answer every time.

You should neither love this woman or hate this woman. You should be INDIFFERENT. Men with OPTIONS (even after coming out of a breakup you should have them) should be indifferent.

"OK"= Indifferent.

Indifferent = She will be mind fvcked.

Either way, send her OK and walk away. Nothing more needs to be said or texted. Ever.

 

[Epic Days]

All this over a woman? LMAO

 

[EyeBRollin]

I am not spinning anything. When you send a response to someone after they have treated you like dirt

and if you’re looking for some sort of karmic affect on the universe/thinking replying “ok” will make it a “respectable” and “gentlemanly” breakup, then you don’t know women. Every man is the villain in every break up. You’re also not outcome dependent in that scenario. You’redoing something for an explicit outcome.

Gentlemen are consistent with whomever is in front of them, irregardless of the other person. Clearly this class is way too advanced for you. Judging by your first sentence, still reacting way too much to female behavior.

 

[Epic Days]

Gentlemen are consistent with whomever is in front of them, irregardless of the other person. Clearly this class is way too advanced for you. Judging by your first sentence, still reacting way too much to female behavior.

They are not communicating an emotion concerning it. It’s called indifference.

 

[vic1234]

It's amazing to read different sides of opinion from different angles... It just shows how everything we are looking for hides in the asking rather somebody have a solution for my need, questions etc. Am more than greatful for all your input ,I feel way much better now and wiser...if I knew all this before I would have played it differently but nothing is lost,I got great answers here

 

[bcude]

I would response "I was starting to question things with our relationship too but wasn't sure how to tell you. Thank you for making this easy for me. Take care"

Never thought of it that way. That's hilarious.

If you want to play games this is very good. Accept and make her question herself can make her start pursuing you, it's a blow to their value and as we know women can't live with that. At the very least you level out the power balance somewhat.

 

[Tdawg]

What's the best way to counter her ? I ignore her or reply her "OK" bear in mind two days have gone without me replying

Be the bigger man. Wish her the best, thank her for the memories and move on.

That will probably piss her off though so expect something nasty back.

 

[SoSuave666]

Gentlemen are consistent with whomever is in front of them, irregardless of the other person. Clearly this class is way too advanced for you. Judging by your first sentence, still reacting way too much to female behavior.

I literally laughed out loud. Man. If only you guys knew me in person a sentence like that would never come out of your mouth. I don’t agree with your response and I think it should be left there. I’m not one for personal attacks. Happy to agree to disagree.

 

[Epic Days]

Bright enough.

You could always be a ridiculous community organizer. (Sarcasm )

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Re-read my first paragraph. Getting them to dump you is only a good idea IF ending the relationship is YOUR idea. Otherwise, AMS is correct. If you're laying down the law, but would take her back IF she straightens her act up, then walk....but if you walk, don't look back. If she comes back, and if you still want her when she does, let that just be serendipity; don't count on it.

My buddy I was talking about was a genius. He knew just how to get each girl to break up with him, in a way that would make them feel too guilty to be mad at him. He even got a couple of them to break up with him by proposing to them.

Sure it could be your idea. As soon as you act out to instigate it then it can become her idea. Or more likely she just acts out because she's upset. she acts, you walk, the guilt is still arguably on you for dumping. Maybe a bit on her for acting out, if she cares. She's justified though, and deep down you know it.

Aside from that if she's honest and dumps rather than being indirect and subversive back to you then sure it can work, but then you're just exploiting an honest person. For example if she quits her job or does some drastic self sacrifice to try and make it work rather than dump you then you'd probably be feeling guilty af. You become a parasite. She could go years trying to make it work with you. Meanwhile you're trying to sabotage things. That's how guys get stabbed to death in their sleep.

I can see the angle and it's interesting, that's definitely some manipulation game, but i can't help think it does your buddy more harm than good. The more he does it the more manipulative girls he'll attract. Women get resentful easily and one day he may attract a bigger manipulator than himself. Not to mention this is all time better spent learning how to own up to things and spending time with women he actually likes.

 

[Spaz]

Something could always goes wrong with any poorly executed strategy. I find it interesting that no-one here seems to object too strenuously, when someone suggests a strategy for separating a girl from her panties, but suggest a strategy for separating from a girl, which has the potential to reduce animosity and to produce more positive feelings and actions towards you, post relationship, and suddenly everyone is a paragon of virtue, too honorable to manipulate a poor lass in such a way? Undoubtedly, it's master-level game, and shouldn't be attempted by amateurs; I'll give you that.

U r right.

Most of my EX's are still sending me birthday wishes etc, probably a good 90% of them do so for years, even when they have married.

Women are just that.

But you need to understand that not all men are the same even if you teach them how it benefits them.

Teach them in accordance with their inherent personality traits.

They are born into it and because of that it influences how they think.

 

[Cloudtopsun2100]

Ignore or not ignore? Doesnt matter cause if she doesn't want you around you shoudn't be trying to use techniques to get her back.
Like I did with my ex, when she did the lets break up text I just looked at it shook my head and now its been almost a year.

You aren't butthurt by not responding, there sometimes isn't a reason to once this person has made it clear you are yesterdays news.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Something could always goes wrong with any poorly executed strategy. I find it interesting that no-one here seems to object too strenuously, when someone suggests a strategy for separating a girl from her panties, but suggest a strategy for separating from a girl, which has the potential to reduce animosity and to produce more positive feelings and actions towards you, post relationship, and suddenly everyone is a paragon of virtue, too honorable to manipulate a poor lass in such a way? Undoubtedly, it's master-level game, and shouldn't be attempted by amateurs; I'll give you that.

I've never been one to manipulate(out of naivety) and after reading the 48 laws of power I realized how much harder not knowing those skills has made my life. I'm not some white knight by any means, but in my experience there's no cheating life. There's always some sort of balance, everything has a price. And it's true. When going down any path and there's a fork, you pick one at the expense of the other. All we do here is rationalize one path over the another. To think a certain path doesn't have a price is foolish and wrong, yet that's the attitude with a lot of folks here and everywhere in the world. They want to go down both paths at once. They think there's some easy magic combination of words or actions that will work on all women. It's the reason there are so many snake oil 'solutions' in the world.

It's interesting because to avoid repercussions I have to take a lot of joy out of the exploit. If I exploit and indulge too much it makes me quite weak of mind and body. I begin to normalize the exploit rather than stay vigilant. The more comfortable I get the higher chance I get burned, and badly since I allowed myself to relax so much. Rather successful people seem to normalize discipline. As a result I exploit rarely, and when I do I'm extremely vigilant, always thinking what price I'm paying.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Exploit? The only way to exploit a woman, in the context of this forum, is to seduce her. I've been pretty vocal in opposing male seduction. What i have proposed in this thread is not being a d ick about getting dumped, and compounding the injury, by deceiving yourself that your relationship occurred in a social vacuum.

Look, when you make a woman scream in bed, she tells all her friends. If you have whisky d ick, well, she'll tell all her friends that, too. That's just how it is. If you're a big boy about getting dumped, and don't burn down the house over it, a lot more of her friends who remembered that you made the chick who just dumped you scream in bed...well, they might be more inclined to help you get over the chick who just dumped you.

What's the cost? As far as I can tell, the only cost is controlling your emotions, and acting in your own rational self-interest, which is what men are supposed to do, anyway.

Those are not the costs. The cost is everything else you could be doing.
You could make her scream in bed and she can still hate your guts and talk a lot of sheet to her friends about you in an attempt to sabotage you. There's no magic unbreakable correlation between making her cuum and what she thinks about you. She could hate you because you don't show as much affection as she wants, which is usually the case when you rock her world. Personally I like the girls that remain as independent as I do after sex. And it might as well happen in a social vacuum if you don't like her friends or never see them.

I'm not saying acting in your self interest is wrong. I agree that staying pragmatic is the way to go. But knowing what's best for you can be incredibly hard in the moment. The time sink is what's important. For example my self interest was sex and getting it conveniently. I found a cute girl that adored me and let me take her when and wherever I wanted. I got what I wanted. I fuucked her every single day, sometimes multiple times a day, for years. I began to indulge with drugs to up the ante and have long crazy fuuck fests with her. I was acting in self interest and enjoying myself, but the time sink meant I neglected other parts of my life.

The sex kept being normalized because we had it so often(and I was stagnating as a result) so we would keep upping the ante. The right thing for me to do in that situation is abstain, tear myself away, and continue molding other parts of my life until she explodes at the sight of me again(but for me, not for her). Alas we lie to ourselves and say there's nothing wrong with indulging. What's worse is finding validation in the indulgence. I cringe when I see posts by guys that are revolving around sex or women and how to get laid when they have very little going on otherwise. They're putting the cart before the horse. They are making it harder for themselves every second they aren't pursuing self mastery. If they work on molding themselves(the hard stuff that is hardly in a lot of men's self interest) all that would come naturally, in fact it becomes so trivial by comparison to other endeavors that they would hardly post here, if at all.

Personal relations with the opposite sex are so multidimensional that we can misunderstand each other and bullsheet ourselves endlessly.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

@ShePays
Again absolutely agree that wishing her well is the best mindset. Doing so genuinely means you weren't resentful or conditional with your attention towards her in the relationship, an ideal we all shoot for, and something fostered with some serious discipline. Although I think it's easy to fool yourself into thinking you're being genuine when you're not, easy to BS the self. You're right it's great when exes come over with food or whatever. I may be projecting a bit with discussing pulling away and maintaining resolve being difficult, that's a personal problem.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

My main concern is OP trying to be genuine rather than just being genuine. He says ok, but deep down he's torn. The advice is good, to say ok to save face then go radio silence. Imo if he's torn the silence has to persist though, the self work to heal and start coming from a place of authenticity can't be stressed enough. And that is very hard to do if he's clinging onto hope. It's safer to not even worry about not appearing to be phased, otherwise he could get lost in a perpetual trap of faking and internally build resentment, which will only prolong the healing. Maybe I'll write a book on the subject, most stuff men turn to after a break doesn't talk about this enough imo.

Anyway no one knows this better than the OP. I'm only going off how easily he seemed to be ready to meet her again.

 

[vic1234]

So I received this two message from her today and now she want us meet for dinner on Friday then fly to holiday to Maldives....below are messages what do you all think?


1) We couldn’t talk calm anymore, we have other dreams and priorities. You want to move somewhere faraway I want to stay here , you dream about child soon, I need my time . We have other past other cultures. I think it’s the best way for us


2) I loved you so much and I thought that we can build our fairytale but we both know what we want and I think we have both to strong characters. I can’t even imagine that one day I would be kissing someone on stage and you taking it easy .... we can still be friends if it’s possible if not then I ll also understand

 

[vic1234]

Who's paying for that? Is she paying?

Am paying money not issues have been paying mostly because she is not that ok finace wise..

 

[vic1234]

Do what you like, but it's pretty s hitty of her to dump you and then to stick you with the check for the opportunity to whoo her back. Don't do it, of it'll put a financial strain on you. Whatever you do, don't allow yourself to be emotionally manipulated.

Might then just pay dinner drinks then bring her home some sex and then I become indifferent. I really miss last sex with her and am gone Mia...