Originally posted by Heavyweight:
Dude-
I don't know if I agree with everything you said. There's some good advice, but some things are just wrong. For example, you say that if a woman finds a guy physically attractive, he can't do any wrong on a date and if she doesn't, he can't do any right. That's wrong and the exact opposite of everything in the DJ Bible.
No, it's quite right, and I think the bible agrees w/it. Your post is interesting because your understanding has elements of what is advocated here but somehow comes up w/conclusions not quite on--not far off, but just enough so that I think you've misread some of what he says.
You can make a number of mistakes w/those w/high interest level and not really suffer for it--at first. And, the flip side is that if she has low interest level anything you do will likely not have the effect you want.
So why waste time? Find out where you stand early. A portion of the bible's material is given to testing her w/kino/kiss to see if she has high or low interest. If you can't tell by her actions immediately (and even then...) you test her and see where you stand w/her early. If low interest--move on.
The kino/kiss test works because it is either very invasive and unwelcome or very seductive and irresistable--hence, if she's physically attracted to you she can't resist or not help responding strongly and positively; if she has low interest level in you, she will have no response or even have physical aversion to it which she can't hide.
Basically (and Unknown used it more broadly than my example above) it takes real effort to screw up if she has high interest in you and you'll really have to use some master techniques to turn her around if she has low interest level--anything short of that won't work.
Isn't the whole point of this site that guys can get as many women as they want regardless of how they look if they change their attitude and find ways to give women the feelings they want?
Ah--this one's tricky. I can't say you're wrong since it's easy to see how you got that idea--and much of the advice I've seen here and even given myself would support that--it's just that it's a over-simplified and somewhat misleading.
The "regardless how you look" is too broadly stated that it's misleading. 1) yes, if you're 5'4" and plug ugly, you can still exude confidence, be assertive, dress well, do fun things, be funny, dance, be seductive yada yada and get dates--so yes, looks don't matter in that sense; but if 2) you have a hair style from 1975, wear polyester leisure suits (and otherwise don't play in a swing band w/attitude-coming-out-the-@ss) wear the same jeans and t-shirt everyday, don't wash, don't brush the teeth often etc., then looks do, indeed, matter a great deal.
Tending to your person is very important. It's one of the details women pay particular attention in assessing you initially and remains so afterwards. From the bible perspective, you will find a number of posts here and articles from the featured experts about updating your look, improving what you have and maintaining good grooming standards.
And "getting as many women as they want...regardless of looks...by acting confident...giving them the feelings they want..." is true to an extent. It doesn't contradict what Unknown said.
An important underlying distinction to this site and Unknown's post is that we don't fight reality, we improve our handling of ourselves in it. He gives hallmarks towards recognizing what the reality of a situation w/a woman is and what you can or can't do about it. Use this advise to weed out your poor prospects first and then it'll appear that you are "getting as many women as you want...regardles of your looks...by acting confident...and learning to give women the feelings they want..."
I think confidence is far more important than looks for women and that's usually hard for most guys to understand because looks are far more important to us.
Confidence is, as you say, highly important and one of the key components of attraction for both men and women. I used to agree w/looks being far more important to men than women, but I think it's oversimplified, misleading and simply wrong. Women respond quite strongly or deeply in a complex way to a different set of criteria regarding looks than men do. That they don't respond the same way we do doesn't mean they aren't responsive.
Anyway, I think that your "looks" advice is defeatist and wrong. Anybody that believes that stuff should spend their time and money getting plastic surgery to look better and forget about trying to become a DJ.
You're right about looks if that is all that's all there is to it, but he used a different term than "looks", he said "physical attraction". "Looks" can be part of "physical attraction", which is a much deeper, broader and complex term than "looks". It is, (IMHO) a crucial distinction. We've not even mentioned phermones, body language, chemistry, emotional responses to complex external stimuli, evolutionary conditioning or any of the other myriad components that make up physcial attraction.
Good post, HvyWeight, it made me think much more than what I usually encounter by forcing me to clarify im my mind what I understand.
