Shaking off Rust

[Presto.er]

Gentleman, I recently find myself back in the game. And believe i have made a series of errors. Was hoping I could get a consulting opinion about accurately identifying where I went wrong.

New hire comes to work (she is 28y/o (as am i) staying and consulting for 3 months.) I train her, and we hit it off. She was dating someone at the time. I got her number and we went rock climbing anyway. Soon after we had plans for dinner, but it seemed to me like she blew me off. So i completely ignored her. Two months later she has broken up with her boyfriend (who was cheating on her.) and we end up matching on bumble. One thing leads to another, and I ask her out again. She accepts. We meet for dinner, have a great time, get drinks, and then go back to her place (but no sex.) This was thursday. 12/1

During dinner she invites me to join her on a cross country road trip, because her new consulting assignment starts in California. We currently are living in Chicago. I agreed on the spot (at dinner.) I kept texting to a minimum, and used the phone only for setting up dates or replying to her texts. It was friday 12/2, and when we were leaving work she offers me a ride home. Which i accepted. She offered to hang out sunday, and I said sure- we could for a short period of time as I had finals for grad school coming up.

Sunday 12/4 comes up, she comes over mid afternoon and we end up hanging at my place for a few hours. Sober 100% of the time, good conversation and some great oral sex was had. before the dirty, she mentions that she is leaving soon and doesn't want to hurt someone, or be hurt. I told her hey, its cool- lets just see where this goes and take it from there. She leaves for her place that night after we had some fun.

I see her again at work 12/8. She makes some excuse as to why i need to ride home with her. I accept, and as she is dropping me off at my place she mentions having a cold pizza at her place, so i ask her if she is inviting me over, she says yes. So we go back to her place, have more oral sex and drink wine. I stay over at her place- as we both have work in the morning, and she drives me to work. This night she mentions how She normally doesn't go for guys like me, and that she still remembers the first time we met. She remembers how even though she was seeing someone, she still wanted to keep talking with me and flirting after the work day. She says she has not felt that before. And that I am very weird, in a good way. She also tells me that she told her room mate right away about me. 12/9

12/9 Friday, we both work. Company holiday party. She again offers to drive me home. We both get ready after work, and I catch an uber to her place so we can ride together. We didn't want the entire office to know about us, so we played it cool- and i basically just spend time with my friendly co workers. I made sure to chat up all of the girls, and she would approach me once and awhile on her own to say hi. We had made plans before going to the party to leave together and grab brunch in the morning. I had WAY to much to drink, and she comes back to my place- where I promptly pass out. She was quite livid, and ended up leaving my place at 330 am, against my protest. But i let her go, and went back to sleep. I wake up to some texts sent 10-15 min after she had left saying something to the effect of: You know i really wanted to stay... but apparently you are too passed out to even respond to that.

12/10 Saturday, I send her a quick text saying hey- a few mistakes were made last night, if you want to talk about it call me. A short while later, she did. We laughed it off. She had plenty to do, as her parents were visiting her sunday. She invited me to join her shopping, and to do dinner ****tails after.

This is where i think I made a critical mistake. I went shopping with her and hung out. Dinner was nice, and so were drinks. We ended at her place. Made out, did a bit of heavy petting- but she was very tired, and I left. I also made the mistake of asking her to join me for dinner 12/13 at some point during the night. As this is the last time we can see each other before she leaves the country for 2 weeks.

I am going to be on vacation when she returns, then we have that long car trip in the early part of january.

12/11- I let her have space. Parents were in town, and I had dates with 2 other girls. She texted me first, mid afternoon asking how my day was going. I didn't see it till an hour later and shot back something simple.

12/12 She ignored the text till this morning, and sent me replays early in the morning. We never set a definitive time for dinner, so i casually asked if 6pm was ok. To which she responds: I'm having a panic moment about leaving for my 2 week trip, let me see what I can get done. My response was, Ok, get back to me sometime when you want to hang.

She throws a big text afterwards, with an Absolutely!!! and then starts chatting me up about life. I keep it short, and bow out after 2/3 back and forth.

Now that you gentleman know the basic story, I just want to make sure that I am on the right path as to where I ****ed up.

1. We were hanging out too much, too soon. I normally ask a date a week, and thought it was OK to hang with her if she was the one suggesting.

2. Some people at work found out about us. And two of my co-workers apparently approached her, and let her know that I really like her, and that sometimes I fall hard for girls. This was a huge mistake again on my part of talking with a friend about her. When she did approach me about this, I brushed it off- saying wow, I need new friends- but yah I do like you.

3. I asked for a date while on a date.

4. I wanted to see what was there between us before she left for california. I think that I should have played it much slower- even with the limited time, and been willing to see if she would be cool with me flying out to see her once and awhile after the trip. IE. I moved to fast, and looked desperate.

Have I missed anything? And have i correctly identified all of the areas i really went wrong?

 

[Spinach]

Sure sounds like a lot of work for a piece of tail....

 

[Presto.er]

Sure sounds like a lot of work for a piece of tail....

I would agree with you.

Im just really into her. IE. She is the second / third person I have met in my life to make me feel this way.

Is that why i ****ed up so hard?

 

[Spinach]

And there will be another and another and another that will make you feel this way. Trust me on this. There are no special snowflakes out there...just women with unique traits and drama. Don't lose yourself in the process of finding "the One". I have been in the same place you are currently. Breathe, use your intellect. If this one moves on there WILL be another to take her place. Good luck my friend.

 

[Milano]

Yeah man. The woman just isnt that interested, and as you know, you are developing onitis and it doesnt help either.

Isnt it funny when you get feelings for a woman, we overthink everything we did. How could we have possibly made it a few percent better in each scenario when if a woman is interested she will help you through it. With my first girlfriend everything was easy and natural, but that seems like forever ago lol. Most of the time we have to play this game because the initial interest is not high enough, it is what it is!

If you feel that you have given her many chances and she keeps on flaking, and you know have feelings for her, you have 2 options. Tell her that you want definite plans with her from now on, be more strict and dont take bull****. This will probably not work when her interest level is too low anyway but it feels good to draw a line sometimes if you get emotional and you feel she is fooling you around. Going for what you want shouldnt be viewed as weak if you go about it in the right way.

Last option is the good old withdrawal by keeping it cool and then texting her something casual in a few months and then going for a new date. This is so hard if one does not have more girls in a rotation lol.

 

[Dingo]

She was DTF and you pass out ?.... Big lesson..... Don't drink to excess....

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

You made no mistakes. You acted human, and part of being human is falling on your face and extracting the valuable lessons that are there specifically for you. People are brought to your life with specific purpose so keep your mind open and Don't beat yourself up in the process.

As to the girl's IL: When a girl's IL is sufficient enough, you can do everything wrong, and she still leave the door open.

Learn your lesson. Adapt. Evolve.

In the future, don't leave yourself vulnerable by investing emotionally to a plate.

 

[Presto.er]

Thanks for taking the time to eye over some of my happenings. I appreciate people who take the time to point out what is going on here (outside of my emotionally corrupted viewpoint). In the spirit of documenting this for others to learn, I have small field report and update.

12/13
After she had slightly flaked out on my Tuesday dinner, I really though she needed space. She however, did legitimately have stuff to do. And did blow up my phone a few times during 12/13. Again, i kept the conversations short, and bowed out. I refrained from asking her to do anything and tried to make space. Tuesday late afternoon rolls around, and she texts to cancel on me- but offers instead to do something later in the week. So i offer a Wednesday 12/14 and Friday 12/16 date opportunity, to which she says awesome- I will get back to you.

12/14 Again I am playing 100% off. I don't text her, and even though she is shooting texts to me through out the day I keep my responses short, and bow out after a few texts. I make sure to not ask about any dates, or hanging out. Late after noon she cancels the wed and Friday offers, and instead wants Thursday 12/15. I am straight up annoyed at this point. So I say- wine and Hors d'oeuvre at my place- which she accepts

12/15 Again many texts from her, I am playing it cool. Since Sunday 12/11 I have not initiated a single text, and at no point have i asked to finalize plans. I have not made a single word about cancels / reschedules. As far as she knows, I have been busy- and living my life, not a bit of salt or neediness about what she is up to. Later in the evening closer to date time, I get a text from her letting me know that she is not staying late, as she knows that I have to work in the morning.

Before she stepped in the door, I knew the following: She has extreme low interest in me, and is more than likely just trying to stop by to really set the record straight about us, and leave me to my wine and Hors d'oeuvre alone.

She arrives about 10min late to my place, and I can tell immediately that she is not in her feminine. She is tense, in her head, not playable or comfortable. I greet her with a hug, get some wine going- and ask her about her busy week. She starts to open up to me, and we break out the snacks shortly thereafter. I make sure to be light, airy, playful, and keep the conversation 100% on her and how she is feeling. She can be a bit of a head case, and is nervous about her 2 week vacation, and new job starting soon when she gets back. Things are going well, and about 90 min later we move to my bedroom.

Once there, more talking about her, more relaxing, and more wine. Things move physically- but slowly. As i am slowly making my way down her neck, it finally comes out. She starts gushing about 'us' and 'what we are'. She tells me quite a bit. She feels a ton of chemistry with me, and has never felt this way about someone before. However she can't commit to anything because she is moving to cali for 3 months before coming back to chicago. She has been used and abused in past relationships (her last boyfriend she recently broke it off with was cheating on her with 4 girls) and she denies it- but is a bit raw / cynical about it.

I agree that we have some chemistry, (made a huge mistake here and said: you know cali isn't that far away. If you don't scare me off during our trip, I might fly out a month or so after you get there. She didn't really give me a response here.) and let her know that I completely understand where she is coming from. I do quite a bit of sailing, and used one of my favorite analogies: Women are like wind. You can't control, claim, or ask the wind to come here. But if you're sailing, and a nice breeze moves through your sails- you enjoy it while it lasts. She giggled a bit (finally) and again went back to telling me that she doesn't want to hurt anyone, or be hurt. Lastly she lets me know that I no longer have to come on this car trip with her, and she doesn't want there to be any expectations- and it could be platonic.

Again, i take it all in stride- and let her know that it's fine, we can have sex every other mile marker, instead of every mile. I have been slowly taking her clothing at this point, and have been working slowly down to her panties. As she is telling me all of this, I can still feel that this is not 100% out of her system, and she is still not 100% in her feminine (yet). So i move back- point to her chest and say- hey until you have said everything, and you feel it's all off your chest, you're not done yet.

She smiles, and rehashes everything again to me. During this time, I re-affirm that I still want to go on the trip with her and start working between her legs. As I am giving her a good licking, she suddenly asks if I have a condom (of course I do). And we end up ****ing. It wasn't my best performance, (ill save you the details) and I don't think it was hers either. She was still in her head a bit too much for her to really get into it. She loved being on top (which i love) and at the end of the day, I did enjoy her golden locks laying on my face as she ****ed me.

Afterwards we lied around naked for a bit, talking and chatting. We eventually nod off to sleep, both naked and enjoying the cuddles. I get up before her (as i have work in the morning) and leave her a note asking her to txt me when she gets up.

12/16 Im at work, she is shooting me texts all day. Again I am playing 100% passive, and am not initiating anything- and keeping my responses brief. It's my birthday, so she sends me some well wishing (and did bring me a present from the night before *expensive chocolate*). Late on my birthday, she asks what I am doing on Saturday. I tell her that I have quite a busy schedule, but i can be a bit flexible. She then asks if I can drive her to the airport on saturday 12/17 as she is leaving for a 2 week vacation. I say sure, and ask when I should meet her.

12/17 I end up meeting up at her place, and got her a burrito for lunch. I don't greet her with a kiss, but that didn't last long. About 5 min or less into my visit she is being very touchy feely with me, and clearly wants it, so i oblige. After that, she is more flirtatious, and grazing her hands all over me more than ever before. I spend about an hour making fun of her for packing so late, and generally keeping it funny, airy, and asking about her vacation. We leave for the airport in her car, and had an interesting conversation. I asked her why she didn't take an uber. To which she normally does, but she told me that she likes spending time with me, and wanted to see me before she left. Once i dropped her off, she lingered and we had a nice kiss before i watched her walk away to ticketing. I took her car back home, and she again was shooting me texts here and there.

I still want to play passive, i initiate nothing- but am flirtatious and engaging when she does initiate with me.

Will post more if interesting things happen in the field, sorry for the novel. I just want to run a tighter game, and want to make sure that I am pin pointing everything that could be deflating my game.

My self analysis:

She doesn't know what she wants, is obviously attracted to me at some level- but is putting up a ton of mental barriers because of her past experiences, and not wanting to deal with it while away in cali for 3 months. I am too emotionally involved with her. I am sinking into oneitis, and even though i am seeing 4 others- they don't hold a candle to what is going on with her. This is a problem.

I can't logically decode what is going through her head (I am wasting time and mental energy on the impossible. I find that typing this is helping me care less- which will help me in many ways.) I am concerned about the cali trip. If it truly is going to be a 'platonic' trip I would probably want to die. However at this point, I don't think it can be? After some ****ing, and generally every time we see each other, there is some petting / oral / ****ing.

I am forced into this trip at this point, and for some reason with her- I just don't know where to push sexual chemistry. She is not as touchy freely as most other girls I have been with, and while she has never rebuked any of my physical advances, I always feel a bit weird / out of sorts. It makes it difficult for me to infer good windows for escalation.

All of this raises flags, and I question true compatibility at this point (or bad timing). I suppose the only reason that i am putting up with about any of this- is simply because she is the third girl in my life (28) to make me really feel this way.

If you made it this far, congrats- and I hope that perhaps it could help you in some way.

Happy holidays!

 

[Presto.er]

High maintenance. You did fine, you should definitely question compatibility. Cali trip won't be platonic...She did enough to try to keep.you on the hook till she comes back though.

Wait, id didnt even think of that. You think all of this is just a long game ploy by her to keep me 100% interested in her car trip? As it's certainly easier to drive cross country when there are two people doing it.

Damn, i really am emotionally blinded.

 

[Presto.er]

Well if you're going on her trip, probably not. I thought there was a separate trip that she was going to be taking alone, my mistake. However yes it's possible that she's trying to make sure you don't bail on that trip.

Ahh, yes - she is on a 2 week vacation without me. Once she returns, we leave for the car trip

 

[ubercat]

Short digression. I came to the site rusty after a ltr last year. Got slammed several times for overanalys. That was me shaking off rust quickly and patching a couple of gaps in my understanding. Within 6 months I had lost 5 kgs and established a 3 girl rotation of my favourite poison attractive Asian girls. You will come up quickly again you have the reflexes you just have to wake them up.

 

[Presto.er]

Yeah she definitely is interested in keeping you on the hook for that

I see. Keeping me around because I can be a driving *****? Or (and i hope) someone who she can have fun with for indoor Olympics? I am doubting myself, and my game on this trip. I have never been in this position before, and I want to make sure that i am running tight game... for 5 days. Just trying to keep my eyes open.

Short digression. I came to the site rusty after a ltr last year. Got slammed several times for overanalys. That was me shaking off rust quickly and patching a couple of gaps in my understanding. Within 6 months I had lost 5 kgs and established a 3 girl rotation of my favourite poison attractive Asian girls. You will come up quickly again you have the reflexes you just have to wake them up.

I am the king of overthinking things. Thanks for this advice, I need to just stop this madness.

 

[ubercat]

Point I was making is some of the younger members don't get that if u had some level of game back in the day as an old warhorse you r on the accelerated program.

However in this case I would suggest you don't go anywhere with her until you have had sex. It's going to be a very awkward trip if she LJBFs u early on and then s**** around in front of you

 

[Presto.er]

Point I was making is some of the younger members don't get that if u had some level of game back in the day as an old warhorse you r on the accelerated program.

However in this case I would suggest you don't go anywhere with her until you have had sex. It's going to be a very awkward trip if she LJBFs u early on and then s**** around in front of you

We have done oral a number of times, made out plenty- and ****ed once.

 

[ubercat]

Great then you re good to go. Start packing. I'm not going to presume to tell an old Soldier how to handle them. For the sake of memory jogging if it has been a while since you've Road tripped with a new woman make sure you provide excitement and quiet times and a bit of time apart. There will be s*** tests a plenty of course. My favourite responses are ..meh or c'mon with a shrug of the shoulders and a slight Smirk. Enjoy

 

[Presto.er]

Just wanted to update all of you guys on whats up, and hopefully shed some light / provide some field feedback of what happened.

She returned from her vacation, all seemed well. We met up, planned our trip out to the day, and discussed rules of traveling together. Nothing unusual, and everything seemed to be great. The next day, we left chicago early. She managed about 4 hours of driving, before I took over- and did the last 11 all the way to colorado. I don't blame her, as she is recovering from a 30 hour layover. Either way, conversation during the first 15 hours in a car was good. I kept things light, airy, and asked opened ended and expanding questions to her.

I made sure to keep the conversation open, and helped her through her few crying sprees she let out due to the friends she was leaving in chicago. When she closed off, i opened her emotionally again- and tried to keep her in the feminine. For the most part, it was a nice trip. I did make a few mistakes however. As she brought up dating, and attraction- I led on too much about SMP and SMV... while talking to a girl who is now 28 and single. Which I shouldn't have done. I said too much, and I never know how to approach this. I think for the future I am just going to try and play dumb. At the very least, she said she found my analysis of attraction accurate, and she agreed with my 'theory'. Which isn't mine at all- just basic game **** that I was verbalizing. About 1 hour left in the car however, and she finally blurts out: We need to talk about us.

Again, i laughed it off- and asked her how long she has been holding this back. She exasperatedly exclaimed the last 14 hours- and spoke in depth about what 'we were'. She wanted to know what i thought this was. So i said that we have a really nice vibe, and it's going to be a fun trip with her to califorina. Once there, we were going our separate ways- but if we were to meet up again in chicago / different life circumstances, we will see where this could go. She affirmed this view, and told me that 'yah'- friends with benefits seems the perfect way to make this an enjoyable trip.

She also pressed me for my 'number' and shared with me hers. I never tell anyone my 'number' and was as vague as I could be. However being in a car like this, with her bothering me for 10 min and I eventually broke. She wouldn't take any of my jokes, and refused to stop unless she had an exact answer. What do you guys do in this situation?


We arrive to our hotel a short while later, and because of the huge altitude change- she gets hit with a migrane (of which she is a frequent sufferer). I do what i can to make her feel better, but we were both exhausted and sleep came quickly once lying in bed.

The next morning however, things were radically different.

She was ice to me. No matter how hard i tried to be light, playful, funny, and nonchalant- nothing was working. She was completely closed off to me. She didn't open me with questions, and for the better part of the day was acting like she could barely tolerate me. She didn't touch me once, and when I did a few times to her while talking, nothing was ever reciprocated. Finally around lunch time, i managed to get her to open up again (and cry) because she was really feeling nostalgic and missing her chicago room mate.

We meet up with her longtime colorado friend, and this is where everything goes downhill. Her friend is a 31 year old, post wall women who at one time was very beautiful. She is successful, has her own place, and own business- but love escapes her. Recently she was suddenly broken up with after 3 months by a man- and cannot believe that a man would do this to her. Apparently this 31 year old male was 'childish' and 'not ready for commitment.'

Long story short, the three of us sat around for the better part of 6 hours, while those two talked about this- and generally disparaged men. Both of them hardly opened me in conversation (and while I do respect old friend catching up- being a captive audience for this long can get boring.) However as the conversation once again turned to men, I suddenly had the honor of speaking for all men. They bombarded me with questions, and unfortunately because of the comments i made in the car earlier about SMP / SMV- my traveling companion wanted me to flesh out the details to her post wall friend.

As you can surmise, the 31 year old raw from being rejected tried to wiggle out of any of this applying to her, and while things didn't blow up in my face- i still felt that my game slipped. This compounding mistake, forced my hand here- which made things worse.

Again I make another critical error. Instead of being vague about the SMP / SMV I double down and talk a bit more (in the hopes of having this 31 year old see some light, and help her in her current emotionally raw situation) I made the statement that boys and girls really can't be great 'friends' and I think it is impossible. The 31 year old, and my travel companion to issue to this- and again I was placing myself in a bad situation. I defended myself, and didn't back down- but this entire situation could have been avoided if I had instead played dumb, and never opened my mouth.

We decide to get dinner, and this is where things go from bad to worse. A third friend meets up with us, and now my company is a post wall 31 year old fresh out of a 3 month 'relationship' a single 41 year old who is constantly talking about men / dating, my travel companion and me.

Dinner was a wreck. Where again I felt as if I was being 'tolerated' and the majority of the conversation was around the wheeling and dealings of a 31 and 41 year old attempts at dating all of those 'immature' and 'not relationship minded' men.

We head to a bar after, and this just can't stop getting worse. All three of them leave me at a table for a good 10 min while 'in the bathroom' and in general, never pull off the subject of men. My travel companion completely ignores me for the most part of the night, while I am left talking to a 41 year old while she regales me of her failed dating stories.

It wasn't a complete wash however. I did get to hear some unique things from 3 nearing wall / post wall women. And I had to stop myself from laughing. Everything that the red pill, game, rational male and others have said and preached- these harpies pontificated word for word. They rode the hypergamy train too long, and now everything is crashing around them. They passed around pictures of past boyfriends, critiquing their new relationships / marriages / engagements- and tearing those women apart.

Sitting there I saw, with eyes wide open- women attempting to rationalize why they no longer had the fawning of men. When suddenly not blessed with youth, and the attention of men- these women fell from grace. Only now are they starting to experience what it's like to be a 'normal' person. They didn't understand why men wanted nothing to do with them, and they were all- desperately lonely (and ironically still with fairly high standards).

After the bar extravaganza and it now approaching 11pm (i have not had 8 full hours of this ****) me and my friend get back to her car, and off to our hotel. Again- during this time she is straight ice to me. I am light, airy, and trying to open her to no avail. Once in the hotel room, I made a joke or two- and she nearly rips my head off. I don't rise to it, and simply decide to fall asleep.

Fast forward to this morning, and I have had enough.

This is not the type of girl that I was dating and sleeping with in chicago. This isn't the girl who I was driving with all day yesterday. I don't even know what pole cat is sleeping next to me (but never touching) anymore, and I had enough. I got up at 630, and made sure she did the same. She wasn't thrilled, but tolerated being awake.

 

[Presto.er]

Then I asked her: Is this a mistake?

She played dumb for awhile, but I let her know that she has been ice to me for the entirety of a day. And suddenly she comes bursting out: I just feel that there is so much pressure for me to sleep with you. Again, im being relaxed, tossing pillows at her and trying to get to the bottom of this. I identify, and say: Im sorry that I have made you feel that way- what am I doing that is causing this? To which she replied: I don't know, I don't have an example, you haven't done anything really to pressure me.

Ok, I let on- then whats going on? And then the flood gates open.

She suddenly says to me that when she doesn't know what to do she closes off emotionally. And that she suddenly can't be friends with benefits, because she can't separate her feelings for me while being physical. She said that for this trip, we can be friends- but nothing more. She mentions that she was really offended when i said last night that I don't think that men and women can be friends, and was wondering what was going to happen when we were dropping her off in california.


And here I am staring at her, as she is emotionally lashing out left and right- letting it slide off me. I don't rise, i don't raise my voice- I just lay around her, and the bed being 100% relaxed. I asked her what happened between now and chicago, and this is the answer i am met with:

Well, why isn't friends good enough for you? Did you just come on this trip with me just to **** me?

To which i replied , no. I didn't come on this trip just to **** you. I have told you before, a few times (and even last night in the car) that I think we have a very unique connection and I really enjoyed spending time with you. That is why i came. If I wanted just to **** you, do you think i would:

1. Work 6 13 hour shifts in a row to have the time off
2. Wake up at ungodly early hours
3. drive 11 hours, and continue to drive another 1000 miles with you in a car on my 'vacation days'
4. Help you pack, and unpack your car.

As i listed these- she sat there stupefied. Apparently in her own world view, all of this suddenly meant nothing to her, never existed, and was unimportant.

She continued the attack: Well why is friends not good enough? Why can't we do friends? To which i replied:

Do people who have known each other for only 3ish weeks suddenly drive cross country with one another? You are not my friend. I would not do what we are doing now except for a handful of my closest guy friends- never with a new acquaintance.

1. We were ****ing back in chicago
2. The days we were not togeather, you were blowing up my phone
3. Before you went on your long vacation, you desperately wanted me to drive you to the airport (when you could have ubered) and even kissed me before walking away into ticketing
4. We had a conversation less than 48 hours ago, about us being friends with benefits- of which you agreed.

She sat there, suddenly looking at me. And said: You're making me feel bad, when you say it like that it sounds like I really lead you on.

Me: You think so?

Her: Yah, and now your making me feel bad, I feel guilty- like I lead you on.

I look at her, and say- I'm done, and I am flying back home. She protests for a short while, a bit of tears- but in the end (after a shower) comes out and tells me, that if she was in my position- she would leave.

With that barb stinging, I booked my flight, and am now sitting in a hotel waiting for tomorrow.

Gentleman, NEVER forget the core tenants of your game. Don't fall into the mistakes that I did.
1. Oneitis is a cancer. Don't let it grow in you, and stamp it out. If your eyes are clouded, don't make piss poor decisions. There is no one special, or significant. Only good ones and bad ones.
2. Women don't give a flying **** about the real world sacrifices you are making, and simply will use their own mental schemes to justify all of their actions- regardless of your level of involvement. They flippantly with not consider any temporal, or monetary, or (in my case) geographical commitments you have made to them as being significant.
3. Never compromise. If you get a 'lets just be friends' from a girl at any time, you need to walk- immediately.
4. Never argue, or ever let a women shake you from your frame. Explain what you are going to do, or what you find acceptable and carry through with your word. Arguing with women is pointless, as they don't come from a rational place. Do not let their storms rock your boat- you are a mountain. If they are cold, or shy from you- do not let it effect you. They cannot effect you with their emotional outbursts, or attempts at with holding intimacy. Remember that their primary agency is sexuality. Never allow them to ever control you with it.


I had a huge eye opener of a day. I have so much to learn, and am really happy that I have a community like this to hopefully share this **** with.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Don't beat yourself up man. You did some mistakes but they are small ones.
Honestly I think the only real big mistake you made was getting super drunk when she was DTF. Usually girls get attached emotionnaly right AFTER sex (while we as dudes feel instant initial attraction and sex doesnt really change anything) and you blew your chance right there. But hey, **** happens. At least you had oral sex hehe.

No emotional attachments from oral though... They get a slight one if you give them head, but it's not strong as sex... Repeated conjugations with a female is usually sure fire except with the most hardened heart wh0res...

 

[Presto.er]

No emotional attachments from oral though... They get a slight one if you give them head, but it's not strong as sex... Repeated conjugations with a female is usually sure fire except with the most hardened heart wh0res...

Yah we did oral 2/3 times and had only ****ed once up to this point. She had a few O's with me, but you're right.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yah we did oral 2/3 times and had only ****ed once up to this point. She had a few O's with me, but you're right.

I learned over a very long period of time, like way longer than I'd be comfortable admitting.

But yes, no bonding resulted for her giving me head, but giving her head brought her a little closer but not even half as close as sex. When she was trying to keep me at an arms length, she'd give me head, but wouldn't let me eat her and no puzzy...

Until she lets you inside consistently you have to keep her cumming and make her *** as many times as possible. I'd be making it a serious point to get inside, because she might keep you guys at oral...