Sh1t test - low interest and next or up-game? -

[anour]

I dont see why youd need to say "your loss", and any similar behavior. You know that too deep down, or it wouldnt occur to you to ask if you sounded passive aggressive. But acknowledging that you might have something to work on means most of the work is already done.

Can you please elaborate? Wym by too deep down otherwise you wouldn’t ask if you were passive aggressive?

 

[Bingo-Player]

Theres a very very fine line between a sh1t test and low to no interest

Your safest bet if in doubt is to just don't acknowledge it or don't respond , the ultimate goal of a sh1t test is too get a reaction

No reaction is better than the wrong reaction

 

[AttackFormation]

Can you please elaborate? Wym by too deep down otherwise you wouldn’t ask if you were passive aggressive?

Id say comments like "your loss" are passive aggressive and needless. And part of you must already be sensing that youre acting too butthurt/passive aggressive sometimes, because you asked if thats how you came across.

 

[Divorced w 3]

DJs

I have a question for y’all, how can you identify a **** test?

There was a girl who i picked up, conversation was a bit platonic, i took her insta, right before me asking for her insta, she said “oh i might not reply”, i said “ oh well its your loss”. I interpreted that as low-interest and i simply unfollowed her a few hours after that.

Few days pass by, i see her again this time in a mall, i was with 2 other guys, she recognized me and she gives me a “firm” handshake and she acts like she wants to initiate conversation but i simply turn it down, in essence acting not interested. She begins speaking to another dude who was with me on the stairs, i then just having small-talk with ones of the guys, and at the end i continue going to where i was going.

I see her again on a different day, she says “hi how are you”, to which i say “who are you?” (because it took me a second to recognize her, usually i have this ability to forget chicks to just forget chicks who reject me like very fast) Back to our topic —> She says “sofia” she then continues walking, and i continue going where i was going, i made a sound that hinted “now look at you” without actually saying it.

When i think about it i would’ve wanted to smash, how you do approach such a situation? Was this a **** test and i started acting petty later? By the looks of it her actions after me pulling away signified that she had interest. I want to hear DJs’ take on this one.

She doesn’t sound interested. You didn’t have her interest possibly at any time in this interaction.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Theres a very very fine line between a sh1t test and low to no interest

Your safest bet if in doubt is to just don't acknowledge it or don't respond , the ultimate goal of a sh1t test is too get a reaction

No reaction is better than the wrong reaction

For an attraction sh1t test, yes, but for a comfort sh1t test you do need to respond in some way. Needless to say, there's a difference between her testing you for your insecurity and her bringing up her own insecurity. One test is asking "are you a beta?" and the other test is asking "are you a player?"

In OP's case there was no sh1t test at all since there was never any interest demonstrated. OP - her talking to you and giving you an insta handle and saying "I might not respond" does not constitute interest, only cursory curiosity.

 

[jhonny9546]

What do you guys usually do when you want to "**** test" women?

 

[BaronOfHair]

What do you guys usually do when you want to "**** test" women?

Say to her: "If you expect me to pick up the tab for dinner this evening, you best start practicing on a cucumber now, both in your mouth and in your butt. There are no free meals in this world, honeybun, especially from a baller like me"

 

[BillyPilgrim]

What do you guys usually do when you want to "**** test" women?

compliance testing and pull-backs

 

[Divorced w 3]

The original question was how to identify a **** test. The test came when she knew who he was on the second interaction and gave him a handshake and he basically just blew it off. Well done. The next time when she saw him and he forgot her name was honestly perfect on his part - he shouldn’t have done that ridiculous whistle though and alluded to how she would never forget his name as a matter of fact she’d be screaming it.

 

[Divorced w 3]

We all fail these from time to time especially when you’re just getting back in the game. The trick is don’t make the same mistake twice.

I had a girl try to get me to buy her colleagues drinks once via her asking them what they wanted when I got up to grab her and me a drink. I looked at her when she did it and she knew I didn’t appreciate it, but she waited a few beats for me to pull my card out at the bar and I just looked at her and waited for her to grab it.

she tried it again on her birthday of all times with 4 of her girlfriends- I stood there and i didn’t go in for my card then either. One of her lush friends made a joke out of it and I made a point to buy the guys there a round in front of them. Later that night her one girlfriend who actually is incredibly accomplished and holds significant power in the city told me (3/4 in the bag) how much she respected me bc I don’t take any of her crap. I ended up walking away from that evening after she got bombed, and she paid a $125 Uber out to me at 1am and apologized profusely.

a few months after that, she told those girls that I called them hoodrats (the actual quote was that her friends were hood rats but it could have been a different group). So one of them asked me one day if I actually thought they were hood rats, my reply was ‘who said I was talking about you?’ That left her speechless

 

[itouchyou]

Let's be very clear.

Lack of interest is NOT the same as a sh!t test. Sh!t tests are usually only done when a woman actually is interested and wants to screen you to make sure you are what she thinks you are(ie, a good catch).

Too many men want to call simple lack of interest a sh!t test these days.

Can lack of a sh1t test indicate that she sees no incongruence and therefore doesn't feel the need to test you?

 

[jhonny9546]

https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/n6bqhd
Curious enough, there are 4 common ways to reply to a **** test.
I do believe that this can bring back someone that want to enter your frame.
But How do you know when to start to talk seriously?
This has to do with LTR's. Because dating are easy, but many DJ fail to keep someone in an LTR, because there is no room to estabilish a deep conversation after that.
LTR **** Test's are really different because you also have to know when to stop and start talking seriously.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

What do you guys usually do when you want to "**** test" women?

I don't believe in that term. I call it congruency test.

Can lack of a sh1t test indicate that she sees no incongruence and therefore doesn't feel the need to test you?

Or she cannot be bothered because she has low interest and you're too obviously below her level.

But How do you know when to start to talk seriously?

When she goes beyond teasing / testing and crosses the boundary into disrespect.

This has to do with LTR's. Because dating are easy, but many DJ fail to keep someone in an LTR, because there is no room to estabilish a deep conversation after that.

Three important pillars of a relationship are Trust, Respect, and Attraction. If one of these is missing, your relationship is a sham.
Boundaries are sexy. Boundaries show that you're not a doormat, that you have ethics and a backbone. The boundaries don't disappear because you're in a longterm relationship. In fact, they become sharper defined. The better you know someone, you better know where their boundaries are and how to make sure you protect the Trust, Respect, and Attraction necessary to keep the relationship fresh.

 

[jhonny9546]

Boundaries are sexy

Yes this is really something that keeps a woman with a man.
I'm not sure on the attraction thing. I saw relationships change on time, when he become really ugly due to aging, but she'll still there for him. Attraction will chnage into another element later in life. (after 30/35+).
About trust, if you think your woman is cheating on you, (beacause of your instinct, or her behaviour), how would you ask her, if she's cheating on you?
Like, to not lose respect yourself, and at her eyes. There's should be a correct way to do it