Just thought I'd share something interesting for my first thread: I got a copy of The Portable Jung (ed. by Joseph Cambell) for x-mas and have been reading it in my spare time. I then hit a section in Chapter 5 that caught my eye where Jung is describing a female patient with what we would today call "daddy issues", and seems to touch on the psychology behind the ever irritating sh*t tests women put us through:
Am I the only one who sees this as the classic DJ vs. AFC scenario?
I think the take home lesson here is pretty obvious. Be a DJ, don't put up with her sh*t and don't let it bother you (it isn't intentional anyway, it's like being mad because she sneezed). That way you become the hero that she instinctually needs you to be and she will reward you for it.
So, what I think Jung is saying here is that women don't do it on purpose, but do it out of an unconscious need for her man to be her hero (i.e. perfect, unflappable, higher value, etc.:box: ), but ends up getting stuck with a man who caves in to her b*tching immediately and therefore becomes unattractive (i.e. placating, needy, supplicating, ever accomidating, nice guy, etc.:wave: ).At the beginning of the treatment the patient was quite unconscious of the fact that her relation to the father was a fixation, and that she was therefore seeking a man like her father, whom she could them meet with her intellect. This in itself would not have been a mistake if her intellect had not had that peculiarly protesting character such as is unfortunately often encountered in intellectual women. Such an intellect is always trying to point out mistakes in others; it is pre-eminently critical, with a disagreeably personal undertone, yet it always wants to be considered objective. This invariably makes a man bad-tempered, particularly if, as so often happens, the criticism touches on some weak spot which, in the interests of fruitful discussion, were better avoided. But far from wishing the discussion to be fruitful, it is the unfortunate peculiarity of this femminine intellect to seek out a man's weak spots, fasten on to them, and exasperate him. This is not usually a conscious aim, but rather has the unconscious purpose of forcing a man into a superior position and thus making him an object of admiration. The man does not as a rule notice that he is having the role of the hero thrust upon him; he merely finds her taunts so odious that in future he will go a long way to avoid meeting the lady. In the end the only man who can stand her is the one who gives in at the start, and therefore has nothing wonderful about him. My patient natrually found much to reflect upon in all this, for she had no notion of the game she was playing.
Am I the only one who sees this as the classic DJ vs. AFC scenario?
I think the take home lesson here is pretty obvious. Be a DJ, don't put up with her sh*t and don't let it bother you (it isn't intentional anyway, it's like being mad because she sneezed). That way you become the hero that she instinctually needs you to be and she will reward you for it.