Sh*t Testing Never Ends...Even When You're Establishing a Relationship

[Frank2500]

So I've been going out with that big booty lady from my gym (that I mentioned in my earlier post) now for a little while. We had a great time in bed during our last encounter-I undressed her, played really good with her body and greatly enjoyed her big booty-it's really huge. Last Sunday we had agreed that we were going to meet for a date. In the morning of that day, just before 9am, she sent me a text message to say that she was so sorry she wouldn't be able to make it because she was asked to represent her Mum at a family meeting. I kept my cool and responded a couple moments later to say it was okay...that it wasn't a problem. Of course, the text message she sent to me is widely open to interpretation. She might have been telling a lie or she might have been telling the truth...she alone knows best and her conscience is the greatest judge.


So I've decided that if she doesn't contact me, I won't contact her. After all, it was she who canceled, so common courtesy would require her to be the one to get in touch with me to make up for that. If she doesn't and this week ends without her doing so, I'll sit quiet as well and move on. I won't turn AFC on her and be acting like I'm begging her so we could go on dates.

 

[Die Hard]

Sounds like a solid plan. Just make sure you don't act stuck up if this becomes a topic of discussion. Like telling her in a very serious tone how it's common courtesy for her to contact you after she cancelled blah blah :nono: Be playful about it, say something like: "I deliberately waited for you to contact me, coz I was curious to see how long you could last without me", with a ****y/funny smirk on your face.

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

I hear you, Die Hard. Well, that is assuming she contacts me in the first place.

 

[SecondHalf]

I hear you, Die Hard. Well, that is assuming she contacts me in the first place.

Good plan.
In that you're establishing a "relationship", I would much rather be flaked on by a low interest chick than strung along.

If I sense even this slightest lack of interest, I'm done!
Don't want to spend my time and money on it.

SH

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

The fact is she knows I'm not ready for a marriage-leaning relationship in my life right now and that seems to be what she's looking for. If she finds someone else who could promise her that, it's obviously her right to go with that person. I'm not going to sit around waiting for her to contact me. If she doesn't do so by latest Wednesday, that's already a sign I may need to start activating plan B.

 

[DonJuanabe]

That was not a sh*t test. You should be able to understand why it was not.

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

DonJuanabe, can you elaborate more on that? Neither of us is too smart to learn...we still learn all the time and none of us is perfect. I'd like to get your perspective/analysis of what you think she's doing in this case.

 

[Frank2500]

I hear you, Sosuave666. I did nonetheless get a text message from her after our encounter, stating that she enjoyed the time we had, missed me already and couldn't wait for us to play again. What I definitely agree with you about is the sense of entitlement the overwhelming majority of these big booty/ very noticeably curvaceous types seem to have in common regardelss of race or nationality. It's pretty much like a universal trait at this point. I used to see the same thing in the U.S., but the difference with those in most countries in Africa appears to be that they aren't as direct/upfront about their sense of entitlement as their American counterparts. But in terms of flaunting their assets to attract the highest possible bidder, they all have that in common.

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

The experience I've earned in the dating game has enabled me to be able to predict the behavioral outcomes of my interactions with individual women based on the level of chemistry we had. And since a good number of women act before they think, I can say with certainty that in a little while this particular woman would be contacting me by a phone call or text message to apologize for her actions...especially when she would get to be seeing me again at the gym and all that. I now understand why in most African countries, female police and military officers are very rarely permitted to walk around with guns. That's because their hierarchy are fully conscious of how irrational women think in general, and keeping them with guns on a regular basis without a sufficient enough reason can be quite dangerous here.

 

[DonJuanabe]

It isn't a sh*t test because, assuming it is true, you would be a **** if you confronted her on it. Maybe you are being insecure? Sh*t tests are more obvious, such as if she said you need to buy me flowers before we go. Or as a former GF of mine would do when I wanted to have sex, you have to take me out to dinner tonight.

She either really has a family obligation or she is flaking because she isn't interested (which is different from a sh*t test because in a sh*t test she is interested but needs assurance from you that you are the guy she believes you to be).

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

Anyway, as I said...I'm not gonna sit around waiting for her to contact me. If she doesn't, life goes on. There's just too many other women out there and in that case before the week is over, I'll begin activating Plan B.

 

[pdx1138]

It's not a $hit test.

I'm doing this now, except I'm the one changing plans (not lying) and not contacting.

It's fun to be on the other side for a change.

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

Well, I'm not sure how much (if any) of an important detail this may be to this topic but I've noticed that this behavior pretty much also started off after I asked her to take an HIV/AIDS test so that during our next encounter we would show each other's results to one another. She apparently did the tests and was supposed to have picked up her results before last weekend. Question mark?

 

[Boilermaker]

Sh!t test is a broad concept. It is usually subjective, and my rule is, if you feel like she's giving you a sh!t test, she's giving you a sh!t test.

There's no judge to decide what's going on objectively, and don't forget: You have more data than anyone on this site, so you are the ultimate arbiter here.

DieHard gave a good plan. Don't be serious about it, but be serious enough (with your actions) to convey your message.

Do NOT contact first at all costs.

 

[Frank2500]

Re: The Tables Have Turned

As the poster Boiler Maker suggested, responding or not responding depends on the particular circumstance. In this case I've gone out with this woman quite a couple of times already, so we're not exactly in the very early phases of getting to know each other. Considering how wrongly she's been behaving, I took a different approach this time around and after being silent for a couple of days I sent her a firm text message today that expressed how much I disapproved of her attitude and it pricked so deeply into her conscience that she sent me about three text messages pleading with me to forgive her for her behaviour and saying how sorry she was.


So now the tables have turned once again. She's now begging me for us to meet. Matter of fact, she wanted us to meet in her house tomorrow and talk but I turned it down, letting her know I won't be available this weekend (which is actually true, ironically). She's now very much in a pleading position. I've decided I won't sweat it. I'm not gonna propose any dates to her, not gonna pick up my phone to call or text her and if she feels she wants us to talk, she's gonna have to work extremely hard and be the one doing the running after. I'm not gonna do that. If she decides to stay quiet again, so would I. Anyway, I'm already looking for a replacement and she herself knows she's on the firing line.

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

It's amazing how these things happen and seem to work themselves out naturally own their own when you're least expecting it. While the woman whom I've been dating from my gym misbehaved so badly this week, on Thursday an intern probably in her mid 20s opened the door to my office, ignored my female colleague in her 40s who sits facing me, and walked straight up to me and shook my hand saying, "I came to introduce myself to you." She claims to be a friend of one of my female cousins and also a family friend. She said her parents told her I work there and that it would be a good idea for her to say hello to me. Doing her research she was able to find out where my office was located in my building and was able to identify me even though I had never met her before. I was so amazed at her boldness that I don't even remember what she said her name was. She had on a pair of jeans and a black jacket and her hips were so big and wide that I was just amazed. To be continued...


Another lady in the military/law enforcement whom I've been talking to on and off is in my city for further training. She's in military camp at the moment but she wants us to spend a night together on the day next week when she will be off. Quite interesting. You know you must be doing something a bit right when you can send a text message to a woman and ask her what color of panties/underwear she's wearing and she tells you with absolutely no inhibitions.

 

[Jitterbug]

I'm giving a much older man Game advice to manage his 35-years marriage with his constantly sh1t-testing wife. It never ends, buddy, especially not at the start of a relationship.

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

She's realized the gravity of her mistake and her pleading continues. She called me several times yesterday. I told her it was all right...that she's been forgiven but I'll never tolerate anything similar again at all in the future. In the meantime, I'm gonna have my lunch break today at a restaurant not too far from my office with the very big/wide-hipped intern who walked into my office last week and introduced herself so boldly to me in the presence of my older female colleague.

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

Well, a lot has changed significantly in my favor since there. I'm no longer worrying about whether or not it was a **** test. She messed up and now she's been calling and pleading for me to reconsider her and to forgive her. I told her she's been forgiven and we're gonna schedule to ;eet to play real hard. In the meantime I also had my lunch break with that sexy intern and things are looking ok.

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

Whew! I BANGED her so well this evening...doggy style. It felt so good. Don Juans hooray! I told her we've got to do it again in a few days and she responded: "I'll give it to you as much as you want because I too really loved it."