Sh*t test help needed

[tihash]

Getting a sh*t test from a chick... advice needed on how to handle. Long story short: We meet about 6 weeks ago, make out a few times, are like bf/gf for the first couple of weeks, then it got weird. We have not hung out in like 3 weeks, and talk on the phone 1x or 2x/week. (We used to talk almost daily the first 2 weeks).

When we first met, I invited her to come with my friend and me to a big, mardi-gras style halloween party we have in tampa each year. The party is this weekend.

We hadn’t spoke about it in like a month.

She emails me yesterday and asks what’s going on this weekend. I think, Great! this is a chance to get her back to my place again and isolate her afterwards, havent seen her in like 3 weeks, etc...

So, I write back and I tell her I am going to the halloween event, of course.

She write backs and is like, “I know... Do you still want me to go with you? If so, I’ll be bringing 2 weirdos with me... J/k, actually, they’re both cool guys.”

How to handle?

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

hahahahaha she's gonna bring 2 guys with her. :crackup:

You haven't seen her in 3 weeks?

Think about this for a second...... what really interested girl would not see you for 3 weeks? That's a huge red flag. Then another big one is that she mentions coming with you but says she's gonna bring 2 other guys!? lol holy fvck, man. Open your eyes.

Tell her that she's welcome to come with you, but the 2 other guys aren't..... if she has a problem with that, tell her it was a fun, and that you'll see her around. then hang up the phone.

I'd suggest telling her to stay home, myself. She's not very interested, it would seem, otherwise she'd put in the effort.

My guess is things came on too strong too soon... calling everyday for the first 2 weeks? wow.... I'd call and setup a date, then maybe call her back the day after if the date went well just to tell her you had a good time. Get in touch with her again a few days later and schedule another date...etc..... She has to earn your time, so don't waste nothing she hasn't earned.,

 

[tihash]

Yeah, that's what cool about this board... sometimes when we're in the thick of it, we don't see clearly.

Just to clarify, she was the one calling me like everyday at first... but I did take her calls, etc.

Obviously been a shift in her interest... the more I think about it, this was her perfect chance to hang out with me, and she invites these other dudes (maybe AFC orbiters, but that's not the point)...

I guess I don't know what her point was in bringing up the weekend after all... she could have let it slide.

I think I'll do what you suggest...

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Yeah man, don't read into this chick too much... she smells like trouble. Her mentioning the 2 other guys was just an attempt at shaking your composure. Don't let it bother you in the least, cause it's not worth it.

My advice in all honesty is to not even talk to her anymore. Go to the party and have a blast with other chicks. Leave her out of the picture... it's her loss.

make her regret it and leave it at that.

 

[tihash]

Thanks for your insight. She is at work, so I emailed her and said something like that sucks if you can't shake those 2 guys, I'm having an after-party at my house and since they're weirdos you should ditch them... if not, maybe I'll run into you at the party, but in my experience that never works out.

Agreed it is time to forget her. But she'll probably pop up again in another few days and call or email me.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Agreed it is time to forget her. But she'll probably pop up again in another few days and call or email me.

Just blow her off...... Make up excuses, like she would do. It's time guys giver certain girls a taste of their own medicine. If she flakes, you flake more.

 

[Q-Pid]

Invite her anyway. Chances are on the day those two guys "won't be able to make it".

If they do just brush up on your AMOG skills

Don't blow her off. That's what wannabe-DJs do when they don't know how to handle **** tests.

 

[penkitten]

blow her off !
if she asks later about going, say you have newer plans now, sorry and talk to her later and then leave it alone.
dont tell her what plans , just say you got stuff to do and you will holler back at her later .

 

[frivolousz21]

this isnt a test.

this is her being not interested....or emotionally fycked up.

please dont bother with this women

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Originally posted by Q-Unit

Don't blow her off. That's what wannabe-DJs do when they don't know how to handle **** tests.

This is not a sh!t test....... this chick is playing him, or at least, she's trying too. He would do best to just stay clear of her.

When the girl is showing alot of interest (which this one obviously isn't) a test is fine. You roll with it, and shrug it off. I would expect such a "test" to be alot more subtle.

My thoughts are that she wants to bring the 2 guys as shielding from him, so that she can avoid an awkward date-like vibe and also so she can go and see what OTHER guys she can meet at the party. It's a devious scheme that he shouldn't fall for.

 

[Verbal]

yeah i was in a sittuation like this a few weeks ago. we talk ed almost every day. she took me to see a big comedian in denver and payed for a hotel sweet. i called her a few days later and she was like ill call you back. she didnt. so i didnt call her either. i knew what was going on. it was the cat string theory. the theory goes like this: when you have a string and dangle it over a cat and the cat goes crazy and wants to play with it. but as soon as you drop it to the ground, the cat looses interest. girls are the same. they like the chase untill they are really comfortable. well luckely i evalluated myself and got her back, but i was like what the f*ck at first. i would tell her yeah sure I GUESS its cool if you come. then when she does kinda ignore her. then she will be the one wondering what the f*ck. maybe even use some jealousy tactics, but be carefull when using this, if you go too far it will back fire.

 

[tihash]

FWIW, here’s a little backdrop of my history with that chick. I didn’t type all this at first, trying to keep things short. I have a FT job, and also teach PT at a local college at night. The pay is crap at the college, but it is kinda fun. One of my classes is an internet class, and that is where I met this chick-- she is a student of mine. In the class, it is totally professional between us. She does her homework, and she gets the grades she earns. She is 19. I am 28. She just moved here this summer from out of state to go to college. All along, she is the one who pursued me.

She met me for coffee under ambiguous circumstances, and we went to the beach afterward and it was clear at that point there was a romantic interest. I could have f-closed her at the beach that night, but had made up my mind ahead of time that no matter what I wasn’t going to b/c she might be trying to set me up or whatever. So we just kiss. Same for the next 2 times we hang out. She then asks me one day why I wasn’t more physical with her, and I realized she felt I had rejected her. So I never f-closed her. That is when she backed away, stopped calling, etc.

I go out with other girls, etc., and put her on the back burner. After about a week I call her for the hell of it, and she acts like nothing happened. That “jump started” her, and she begins calling me again, etc. We hang out two more times, and kiss hello and goodbye, but there is no vibe like there used to be. I don’t want to go caveman on her, because she is in my class.

So that is the background.

Something that may factor in here is Tuesday night, she calls me and we are talking for a while. She asks what I am doing, and I say, “driving.” She asks me to be more specific, so I tell her what road I am on and where I am headed. She asks why I am going to that area, and I tell her to hang out with this chick I met last week (this is around midnight). She then gets kinda perturbed, and gets off the phone. What follows is in my original post.

 

[EquityPrivate]

 

[Verbal]

wow, student huh. damn...i used to want to be a college teacher for this reason when i was younger. i dont really know the rules behind all that student/teacher stuff. if you might get in trouble or if you piss her off and she starts saying some crazy stuff your in trouble. to tell you the truth i would forget about it, or wait till shes out of your class. but it sounds like you know what your doin.

 

[tihash]

Update

So, I go to the big halloween event (Saturday night) with other friends. The chick texts me when she gets there, asking where I am because she wants me to see "how HOT I am in this costume." I text her back saying I want to see the hot stuff under her costume.

This is an event with 3 band stages that stretches for like 8 blocks one direction, and 3 blocks in the other direction. It has attendance of like 100,000 people, and it is hard as hell to find anyone there.

So we text back and forth a few times, with her running around with her 2 guys, looking for me and my friends. She eventually gives up and leaves about 90 minutes after getting there. I think those guys must be losers to let a girl run them around looking for another guy. haha

She emails me Halloween to tell me she moved into her new place. I don't respond.

She called me Halloween night and left a vm to "say hi" and "see how you're doing."

I call her back last night, and we talk for like 20 minutes or so. I wasn't in the mood to talk to her. She says she will email a picture of her in her hot outfit to me.

For fun, I call her today:

Bytch: Hello?

Me: I was thinking... I don't want you to email me a picture of you in your Halloween outfit.

Bytch: Why not?

Me: What I want you to do is dress up in your sexy little outfit, and come over to my place. We'll watch Night of the Living Dead and have our own Halloween party.

Bytch: That sounds interesting. When?

Me: Whenever you want.

Bytch: Blah, blah, blah about she needs to move a mattress from her old place to her new place and has no one to help her, etc. She says she will need to "give it some thought."

Me: Ok, you do that, then call me back.


So, if anything happens, I will let you know.

I knew she would pop up again soon.

She either needs to meet up and put out soon or I am going to start ignoring her.