And I was cool with her wanting to meet next week until she got all defensive when all I said was ask me 5 questions. I was hoping to develop a rapport that way and build a better connection so come next week she would be looking forward to meeting me. What do you recommend is a proper time frame until I ask for the meet?
Hey bro, time frame for scheduling a meet totally depends on a variety of factors such as the physical attraction between you two, rapport/comfort built and the frame you set up. Some guys can do this very quickly, while others take a bit longer. I think you went wrong when you asked her to ask you 5 questions. Instead you should've flipped the script on her and started making her work for your attention. Maybe this is stuff you already know, but remember esp on a dating site, they don't know jack about you, so you gotta stand out and quickly.
The advice about my conversation lacking proper qualification and overdoing the C&F is probably correct. I'm taking it to heart and I appreciate the advice from Mike, Slickster, Atom, Floyd, Backbreaker (I apologize for the insult), and you too PIMP.
Cool cool bro, no worries; maybe you were just worked up a bit when you made the original post, but yeah I was like "damn bro, chill out!" haha
But I mean seriously, meeting people is supposed to be fun and light-hearted and now I feel like I have to suit up for f*cking battle every time I just want to have a normal conversation with someone who happens to have a vagina.
Your sub-concious thoughts definitely have an affect on how your behave in any given situation. Meaning if you are about to go out to a bar and you think its going to be lame night.....guess what? Its probably going to be a lame night.
Instead recognize this for what it is; a flaw in your current game model. Something that needs adjusting and most likely can be easily corrected with a concentrated effort.
My attitude may have sucked in this particular interaction but honestly man you don't know how many times I just "let it go" with women who gave me sh*t and I just decided to be a better person and not let it get to me.
See maybe this is where we think differently, but if stuff like this was repeatedly happening to me, I'd stop and think; "hmmm, clearly there is something I'm doing wrong in this whole courtship process. If its on a dating site and the girl is checking out my profile, I know she likes what she sees. So if it goes south during the initial chat, then recognition of exactly where and why its going wrong is necessary to correct it.
I mean I can imagine how you must feel if this goes down on the regular, that definitely sucks. But that's why this board is here; try and break down where its going wrong for you. You gotta keep adding skills to your game and improving in the areas your not as strong in.
I've been flaked on multiple times and didn't say anything to show I was upset. Heck I had two women blow me off on Friday night and kept my cool even though they were making it very clear they weren't into me.
Lets figure out WHY your getting blown out by multiple women on a regular basis. If your average conversation goes anything like what you posted above, then its easy to see why. I'm going to assume this was not the norm for you.
if she's not interested then there's no need for them to get all defensive and uppity.
Not in your mind; but in a girl's mind she HAS TO. Reason being, she gets approached, hit on by more than her share of losers, even an average looking girl does; so in order to weed out the chumps from the real men they HAVE TO almost go in b-i-t-c-h mode, even though its likely not close to who they really are.
I don't want you guys to think I'm just losing it every time things don't go my way but we all have our limits.
I don't anymore, I did for a second there though! haha
it really turned me off and I couldn't care less if she wanted me at that point.
If that were true, you wouldn't have embarrassed yourself and went into the diatribe like rant to get in the last word. I agree, she sounded kinda whatever, but no need to even keep the conversation going. Just stop replying.
I mean what kind of person says that kinda thing she says to someone she doesn't even know? I mean yeah it was cheesy thing for me to ask her but hey what interaction with two strangers ever goes smoothly?
This is where your lack of game is causing your emotions to get involved. Figure out how to be better the next time your in this situation. As a man you gotta lead the conversation; you didn't really lead here, you directed the way you wanted the conversation to go, but there wash't any comfort or rapport yet, so she threw you the privileged mentality. You could have still re-directed it by re-engaging, then controlling the frame.
I guess my takeaway from all this is
1. Qualify, Qualify, Qualify
2. Only build rapport after she has submitted to your frame
3. Don't jump the gun too soon. Be patient
4. Be nice to the other posters here
haha!! Yeah bro, now your thinking with your head on straight.
Props for man-ing up! Reps
PIMP
