Sh*t test? F*ck your sh*t test.

[sstype]

So I was chatting up this girl from okcupid which reminded me again why I won't put up with stupid b.s. from anyone.

This fairly attractive girl viewed my profile. She was a single mother and I figured heck why not get a conversation going.

Me: You pulled a fire alarm? You're such a badass. (she was talking about the craziest thing she's done on her profile)

Her: Yeah I don't wanna toot my own horn but I am a pretty badass chick...although I only pulled the fire alarm because I was the only one with enough common sense to think of it when there was an out of control fire 2 foot from the building and they were trying to evacuate the building but it was pretty awesome.

-Ok so far so good....I just figure I play along and keep it lighthearted

Me: So not only you're a badass you're also a hero. I'm blinded by your awesomeness.

Her: Yeah I usually have that effect on people. It's not easy being more awesome than most people but someone's got to do it lol

-Ok so I'm getting the feeling this chick is a little full of herself. I haven't got any questions about me back. She's not really invested in this interaction (obviously because she's being entertained by 1000 other guys as well) I figure instead of wasting time trying to pry a conversation out of her I just go for the kill.

Me: Well you have me sold.....congratulations....where do I sign up for a date?

Her: I could possibly pencil you in sometime the week after next week I'm going out of town next week

-At this point, I can tell she's not really that interested or excited about me. A week from now she's not even going to remember who the hell I am.
I decide to force her hand and make her invest a little in getting to know me.

Me: Great. That's enough time for me to get to know you in the meantime.

What are some things you want to know about me? Ask me 5 questions

Her: I don't really play 21 questions that's one of the worst ways to get to know someone and to be honest I really wouldn't even pay attention to your answers of the superficial questions I'd ask...

-Ok so now she's showed me a few things

1. She's a total b*tch
2. She doesn't really give a sh*t about getting to know me even though I took the time and initiative to message her.
3. She's sh*t testing me. She wants me to prove myself that I can win her over despite her b*tchy attitude. F*ck that

So at this point I decide to just take the nuclear option and throw her snarky attitude back at her face.

Me: Well to be honest that was a b*tchy reply....I don't really pay attention to superficial b*tches anyways so glad we cleared that up.

Her: Some peoples kids...Haha

-See I know this chick doesn't take me seriously, she's had her ass kissed so many times by desperate losers and wannabe pick-up artists that she truly is deluded into thinking she can get away with this kind of attitude. Can't blame her when there's a lineup of 100 guys waiting to worship the ground she walks on.

Me: Nice attempt at being patronizing but at least my parents taught me to wrap it up at a young age. Unfortunately, that only leaves in-bred low IQ hicks like you breeding so I pray for humanity

Her: You do realize you can't use that speech after you not only attempted to insult me but attempted to incorrectly insult me by saying I'm superficial when I previously stated that I disregard superficial things/information. Obviously your parents didn't teach you very well since you felt the need to try to insult me because I don't care to play 21 questions with you. As for the rest of your attempted insults they aren't even worth my time since it is apparent I am dealing with someone of a lower class than myself.


-Now I am starting to get under her skin. I won't let her have the last word and I'm having too much fun already so I respond.

Me: Well evidently your parents failed to teach you rudimentary math skills seeing that 5 does not equal 21. Also your reading comprehension skills could use some revisiting by your 3rd grade teacher. I never said to ask me five superficial questions, it was in your power to ask me deep thought-provoking questions but again the constraints placed on you by your low-IQ on top of being a snarky b*tch limits you only banal superficial thoughts.

Sorry if you feel insulted by a lower class peon such as myself. I would perhaps take it as useful feedback if you're really associating with high-class people but the fact that you're a single mother with no stated income makes me question whether on top of everything else you're also wildly delusional


-So far I haven't heard from her back....but I really don't care as I have no intention of giving her my attention even if she were to apologize or try to be nice later.

The reason why I posted this conversation was to give you guys an idea of how I handle spoiled b*tchy entitled behavior....I don't coddle them, I don't try and come up with some witty playful comeback like these loser PUAs would advise, and I sure as hell am not going to let her dominate the frame by forcing me to comply to her terms.

I lost the girl, but I maintained my dignity and respect. Did I dish out some low-brow insults? Sure....but really do I give a f*ck, she sure as hell didn't when I was being nice and polite in the beginning so what incentive do I have to continue being reasonable? Some of you guys will inevitably respond "well it doesn't matter because in the end you didn't get laid" to which I will shake my head and confirm to myself why we are so looked down upon by the opposite gender.

 

[backbreaker]

lol what exactly did she do wrong? 21 questions is **** I did back in jr high. that'ts not things grown people play. even more so the whole peeling onion thing. make themw onder about you. lol you are begging the woman to ask questions about you that's silly and it devalues the time when she can actually meet you.

I mean, there are **** test and but I mean half of you just don't have a lick of game and then get insulted when women call you out on it. this is the latter. she did nothing worth going off on her for.

 

[floydb25]

Even though the tone was completely negative - you guys sound very alike. No one said compatibility is supposed to be positive. This is one of those love-hate relationships in the making - where you are so similar it pisses you off... Cause the vibe is so negative, and all you do is bicker back and forth, but that's what makes you compatible. It's like when a man-hater meets a woman-hater. Or an ******* meets a *****.

You know you want to marry her already. You probably just don't realize how similar you are. Your mind does, though.

 

[LoneWolf]

You're just as bad as her for continuing. I would of probably stopped replying after the first reply she sent. She sounds a bit full of herself.

 

[sstype]

lol what exactly did she do wrong? 21 questions is **** I did back in jr high. that'ts not things grown people play. even more so the whole peeling onion thing. make themw onder about you. lol you are begging the woman to ask questions about you that's silly and it devalues the time when she can actually meet you.

I mean, there are **** test and but I mean half of you just don't have a lick of game and then get insulted when women call you out on it. this is the latter. she did nothing worth going off on her for.

Backbreaker you're a married old man at 28 so I take your advice on "game" with a grain of salt.

 

[Atom Smasher]

sstype, good try but I think you qulified yourself way too much right from the get-go.

You should immediately set the tone (with a girl like this) that you are qualifying her. In fact, that is exactly what she is looking for in a man. A woman with decent looks will have no interest in a man who even jokes about putting her on a pedastal.

Again, I know where you were going with this experiment, but that technique will usually backfire with that kind of girl.

Right off the bat you need to question her "badassness" and her value. A good-looking woman can only be attracted to a man who qualifies her. She must suspect that it's possible that the man she is corresponding with has higher value than she.

5 questions will never work in these situations because the girl is completely uninvested in you. You need to beat her down with your value club before getting into that. Once you have her hooked, those questions can work.

With virtually every women I met online and who I tossed out, they always come back saying "I loved how you played those games with me." (List your 10 favorite smells, 10 favorite colors, etc.).

Those things actually stand out as cool and endearing but only after fairly deep rapport has been established.

Anyway, I think you made a good try and as you progress you'll get better and better. Get that investment and go in for the kill. Qualify, qualify, and qualify.

 

[sstype]

You're just as bad as her for continuing. I would of probably stopped replying after the first reply she sent. She sounds a bit full of herself.

Yeah I wasn't too fond of her arrogant tone at the beginning so I guess her last reply before I went off was just the icing on the cake.

I mean come on "pencil you in?" What a stuck-up b*tch.

 

[sstype]

sstype, good try but I think you qulified yourself way too much right from the get-go.

You should immediately set the tone (with a girl like this) that you are qualifying her. In fact, that is exactly what she is looking for in a man. A woman with decent looks will have no interest in a man who even jokes about putting her on a pedastal.

Again, I know where you were going with this experiment, but that technique will usually backfire with that kind of girl.

Right off the bat you need to question her "badassness" and her value. A good-looking woman can only be attracted to a man who qualifies her. She must suspect that it's possible that the man she is corresponding with has higher value than she.

5 questions will never work in these situations because the girl is completely uninvested in you. You need to beat her down with your value club before getting into that. Once you have her hooked, those questions can work.

With virtually every women I met online and who I tossed out, they always come back saying "I loved how you played those games with me." (List your 10 favorite smells, 10 favorite colors, etc.).

Those things actually stand out as cool and endearing but only after fairly deep rapport has been established.

Anyway, I think you made a good try and as you progress you'll get better and better. Get that investment and go in for the kill. Qualify, qualify, and qualify.

Thanks for the advice atom. This is good stuff. My problem is I assume since they visit my profile first that my value has been established already through my pictures and they would be receptive to my messages.

I figured they would be flattered by my attention but I guess even plenty of attractive guys on these sites shower them with attention so my positive attention means little to them. I will keep that in mind going forward.

Thanks again for the advice.

 

[Robert28]

she's a single mom....I wouldn't consider it a "loss". I have tried, and tried, AND TRIED to give single mom's a chance and it ALWAYS backfires in my face. I'm not speaking about divorced mothers who have children from a previous marriage, I'm talking about hoe's that pop out babies at random and complain about how their ex's did them wrong. Single mothers play games 10 times worse then non-child having girls. I don't think they realize their value in the dating pool is lower due to having kids, but they seem to be very "choosy", moreso then they should be. In my opinion you saved yourself alot of trouble with this one.

 

[Slickster]

I don't really see a sh!t test here?

It seems like you might have been supplicating.

Me: So not only you're a badass you're also a hero. I'm blinded by your awesomeness.

Her: Yeah I usually have that effect on people. It's not easy being more awesome than most people but someone's got to do it lol

Right here is where you should've busted her attitude instead of asking her "where to sign up for a date." When a chick acts like she's "too good you" you need to step up and force her to jump through YOUR hoops. She must qualify herself to you.

Me: I was actually just being sarcastic. Are you really that full of yourself?

Her: No, I was just joking too.

Me: Too funny! I only date girls who can make me laugh. You think you are up to it?

Her: blah, blah, blah trying to qualify herself to you

Whatever the response lead the conversation in the direction of her having to impress you. Eventually offer her a "chance to prove herself in person" and ask her for a date.

Never let a chick with attitude have the last word in situations like this. Continually "one up" her with your own attitude until you either:

a) win her over with your sharp and witty responses.
b) eject from the conversation with a neg hit about her attitude.

Do not be afraid to drop an insult on a chick like this either. It takes balls of steel for some guys but if her jaw drops and she acts mad you are doing your job. Works in better in real life than over the internet.

I've had chicks with attitude slap me right in the face only to come back later trying to qualify herself more. Standing up to them turns them on.

 

[Johnnyventana]

You: "Shoot. I'm out of town that next next week. Oh well, we'll figure it out. Talk to ya later."

Done. End of story. If she's interested, you'll find out. Regardless if she's a freak, you went off on a stranger. That's kind of a red flag. Too emotional. And why that dying need to prove yourself to some random H0? It just came off as low self-esteem, whether that is really you, or not.

 

[DonJuanabe]

SS: as I was reading your post I face-palmed myself multiple times. She wasn't **** testing you and you came across as emotional and annoyed rather than cool and playful. Take everything the others said to heart -- they are correct.

 

[Mike32ct]

Do you think you might have invited some hostility from her by overdoing the c&f and/or negging in the beginning?

I'm not in ANY way suggesting that you deserved attitude from her. I like your posts and agree with most of them. But sometimes c&f and/or negging can actually invite hostility from low self-esteem chicks. That's why I cringe thinking D a vid Dee gave this out as generic advice to use constantly on EVERY chick.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

SS: as I was reading your post I face-palmed myself multiple times. She wasn't **** testing you and you came across as emotional and annoyed rather than cool and playful. Take everything the others said to heart -- they are correct.

Exactly my thoughts. The OP failed bad and went from "hi" to "lets get together" way to fast. She wasn't sold on it yet and instead of keeping it open; he got all mad and emotional.

I agree with the others this was def not a shiat test, it IS an example of poor conversation and getting too involved in the interaction.

What does being married have to do with having game or not? Backbreaker knows his stuff pretty damn well, not sure if Slickster is married or not, but I know he's been with the same girl for a while too.

SS, your attitude sucks bro; if this is how you respond to people trying to help you, its not really a surprise that your striking out with women too.








PIMP

 

[floydb25]

He just got overly emotional and defensive - possibly due to rage built up inside against women. Been there before. Doesn't do you any good. Just makes you look insecure and crazy, with baggage to boot. Any kind of relationship you have ends up being chaotic - with constant fighting on both sides. Someone always has to have a chip on their shoulder, and get the ball rolling. She saved herself the drama by not responding anymore. All you would have done is fight about this ****. You viewing her as a stuck up *****; her viewing you as an insecure prick / loser. Some people (ie, the crazies) like this kind of drama. This is usually how abusive / controlling relationships start.

This is akin to the nice guy who goes ape**** and calls all women *****es (to the one he's pursuing, no less) whenever he gets rejected. Like becoming a complete psycho and calling her a dumb, shallow ***** is really going to attract her to you. Just gonna turn her off even more, and add more negative traits to your list. She REALLY knows not to get involved with him now, because he's not only weak and insecure - he's emotionally unstable and a woman-hater, as well. What a catch. This won't stop him from acting like a complete dumbass / whiney *****, though. Self-pity, victimization claims, and entitlement mentality ensues.

 

[backbreaker]

He just got overly emotional and defensive - possibly due to rage built up inside against women. Been there before. Doesn't do you any good. Just makes you look insecure and crazy, with baggage to boot. Any kind of relationship you have ends up being chaotic - with constant fighting on both sides. Someone always has to have a chip on their shoulder, and get the ball rolling. She saved herself the drama by not responding anymore. All you would have done is fight about this ****. You viewing her as a stuck up *****; her viewing you as an insecure prick / loser. Some people (ie, the crazies) like this kind of drama. This is usually how abusive / controlling relationships start.

This is akin to the nice guy who goes ape**** and calls all women *****es (to the one he's pursuing, no less) whenever he gets rejected. Like becoming a complete psycho and calling her a dumb, shallow ***** is really going to attract her to you. Just gonna turn her off even more, and add more negative traits to your list. She REALLY knows not to get involved with him now, because he's not only weak and insecure - he's emotionally unstable and a woman-hater, as well. What a catch. This won't stop him from acting like a complete dumbass / whiney *****, though. Self-pity, victimization claims, and entitlement mentality ensues.

if you have "rage" against women then you are taking this thing way, way too seriously. it's not that serious.

you really, should not be looking at dating anything more than finding women to do things with from time to time. if they want to hang out with you great if not oh well. if you go out with a girl a few times and something is there then you take it from there but this "rage" and pent up frustration is steaming from trying to take things too seriously way too fast. a woman shows the slightest bit of interest in you and you are worried about **** test and rather she does this or hasn't done that or is saying this.. slow the F down lol.

 

[sstype]

Exactly my thoughts. The OP failed bad and went from "hi" to "lets get together" way to fast. She wasn't sold on it yet and instead of keeping it open; he got all mad and emotional.

I agree with the others this was def not a shiat test, it IS an example of poor conversation and getting too involved in the interaction.

What does being married have to do with having game or not? Backbreaker knows his stuff pretty damn well, not sure if Slickster is married or not, but I know he's been with the same girl for a while too.

SS, your attitude sucks bro; if this is how you respond to people trying to help you, its not really a surprise that your striking out with women too.


PIMP

PIMP I thought the advice here towards online dating was geared towards getting the number and date as soon as possible otherwise she would lose interest from other, maybe better guys, messaging her. And I was cool with her wanting to meet next week until she got all defensive when all I said was ask me 5 questions. I was hoping to develop a rapport that way and build a better connection so come next week she would be looking forward to meeting me. What do you recommend is a proper time frame until I ask for the meet?

The advice about my conversation lacking proper qualification and overdoing the C&F is probably correct. I'm taking it to heart and I appreciate the advice from Mike, Slickster, Atom, Floyd, Backbreaker (I apologize for the insult), and you too PIMP.

But I mean seriously, meeting people is supposed to be fun and light-hearted and now I feel like I have to suit up for f*cking battle every time I just want to have a normal conversation with someone who happens to have a vagina.

Guys,

My attitude may have sucked in this particular interaction but honestly man
you don't know how many times I just "let it go" with women who gave me sh*t and I just decided to be a better person and not let it get to me. I've been flaked on multiple times and didn't say anything to show I was upset. Heck I had two women blow me off on Friday night and kept my cool even though they were making it very clear they weren't into me. Even my friend who ended up getting her friend's number was like "Dude you're a good wingman you didn't try to ****block me and my girl" I mean I'm just a laid back guy and if she's not interested then there's no need for them to get all defensive and uppity. It's not the rejection that makes me mad its the attitude that comes along with it. I don't want you guys to think I'm just losing it every time things don't go my way but we all have our limits.

And Floyd, the chick was ok in my book until her last remark. Yeah I wanted her on some level but when she made that comment it really turned me off and I couldn't care less if she wanted me at that point. I mean what kind of person says that kinda thing she says to someone she doesn't even know? I mean yeah it was cheesy thing for me to ask her but hey what interaction with two strangers ever goes smoothly?

I guess my takeaway from all this is

1. Qualify, Qualify, Qualify
2. Only build rapport after she has submitted to your frame
3. Don't jump the gun too soon. Be patient
4. Be nice to the other posters here

 

[floydb25]

OP: Your last paragraph says it all. This has happened so many times - that you now fly off the handle when you so much as suspect someone as being a certain way. You're probably even intentionally looking for it (at least subconsciously). That's what bitterness, distrust, hate, and suspicion does. It makes you crazy.

Stop being crazy, and get the chip off your shoulder. Don't take these things so seriously; view everything with one lens; and stop dumping your baggage out on other people. Innocent people are just going to get hurt; dish the same treatment back; and you're going to keep hating them more and more. Thus begins the cycle of abuse - with you being the abuser.

If someone acts in a manner which you don't agree with - stop talking to them. Getting pissed off, insulting them, and fighting over it is just feeding into the hate and negativity. Round and round it goes.

Get rid of your own baggage and resentment. Otherwise its going to consume you, and get dumped into every relationship / encounter you have with people. As soon as something goes wrong - you're going to explode. And people will hate and avoid you forever. All alone you will be - with your hate and misery. Just ask my crazy ***** exes.

 

[sstype]

Meanwhile my fake ad with a wannabe male model has gotten 4 unsolicited messages, 1 chat request and one of the girls giving me her phone number unsolicited today.

so add one more thing

5. More cardio and ab work

 

[sstype]

OP: Your last paragraph says it all. This has happened so many times - that you now fly off the handle when you so much as suspect someone as being a certain way. You're probably even intentionally looking for it (at least subconsciously). That's what bitterness, distrust, hate, and suspicion does. It makes you crazy.

Stop being crazy, and get the chip off your shoulder. Don't take these things so seriously; view everything with one lens; and stop dumping your baggage out on other people. Innocent people are just going to get hurt; dish the same treatment back; and you're going to keep hating them more and more. Thus begins the cycle of abuse - with you being the abuser.

If someone acts in a manner which you don't agree with - stop talking to them. Getting pissed off, insulting them, and fighting over it is just feeding into the hate and negativity. Round and round it goes.

Get rid of your own baggage and resentment. Otherwise its going to consume you, and get dumped into every relationship / encounter you have with people. As soon as something goes wrong - you're going to explode. And people will hate and avoid you forever. All alone you will be - with your hate and misery. Just ask my crazy ***** exes.

Floyd, I just want to be respected the same way I respect others. I don't resent anyone for the hell of it...I just resent bad people that get away with sh*tty behavior. You are right though calling people out and getting pissed off only drags you into their negative cycle. It's really not worth it.