Sh!t Dogs and the Women Who Love Them

[STR8UP]

Is it just me, or does anyone else get seriously annoyed with women and their dogs?

It's NAUSEATING how they treat these annoying fukking overgrown rats.

Spend the night at a chicks house and even if she's kind enough to close the bedroom door behind her leaving little Dolce in the living room inevitably every hour on the hour some leaves rustle outside the front door or the compressor on the fridge makes a noise and "killer" has to start yapping his little head off.

I was out with some friends tonite, one of them was a girl I dated a couple of times awhile back. Not like we didn't have anything INTERESTING to talk about, but the conversation veers toward her new sh!tzu puppy. She's SOOOO proud of her baby! He learned how to climb up AND down the stairs, and he's now potty trained! YAY!

As if that weren't enough, the blackberry comes out and we have to look at pictures of her adorable little "child". Isn't he cute with the little bow in his hair? AWWWWWW!!!!!

Jeezus fukking christ.....these chicks wonder why they can't find a man who will stick around? It isn't bad enough that they want to be a MAN themselves in everyday life, but then they want to come home and play mommy to a 10 pound mop that has to be walked every few hours and leaves "surprises" on the floor every couple of weeks.

Lets not get started on the sharing ice cream! Even if she says "Oh no I don't do that. That's gross!" she will still let her precious baby give her "kisses". Never mind he just got done humping a stuffed animal and licking his balls.....they are KISSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Trader]

Ha - that post was golden, wicked funny but also so true

I was once over at a girl's place - group hangout and I got so sick of that tiny dog barking I was like: "In Korea they eat dog meat, I'm for that, let's cook that dog!"

Everyone was laughing, she even had to crack a smile at that one

 

[STR8UP]

Maybe I should go GAY.

Oh wait....homosexuals are the same way!

Guess I'm fukked.

 

[The Bat]

I have a funny (maybe disturbing?) story to share.

I was back at this girls apartment and we were messing around. She had one of those hyperactive puppies that would not stop humping everything she saw. It was 4 AM and she was still up running around, scratching on doors, humping the table, etc.

Anyway, I'm fingering this girl and she's pretty close to big O. The puppy comes out of nowhere and starts humping my leg. I tried kicking her off but she is so stubborn and hyperactive that she kept coming back to hump my leg.

So now I'm in a dilemma. Do I stop, take the puppy out of the room and lock her in the bathroom thereby preventing the girl I'm with from achieving her first of many orgasms? Or.....*sigh*....do I keep going?

Guess what I did....:crackup:

Got two b1tches off...

:cuss:

I think I'm still conflicted on whether it's a funny story or perverted story...

 

[mrRuckus]

I'm very glad you posted this, str8up. I was thinking about doing it myself. Good timing.

I met a girl recently that i'm interested in, but getting together with her is very inconvenient because of her little dog. He can't go very long without being let out.

I just hate dealing with this. You go out, she has to stop back at her place to let the dog out... she can't just stay over so she leaves your place late... she can't drink since she HAS to drive home for the dog. I don't want to jump through hoops because of HER dog. I'd rather just not date her. It's one thing if the girl lives only 5 min away but you get a girl who is like 30-45 min away and it's just crazy and can dampen the whole night. I've not gotten laid at times because of a dog. I've had date ideas turned down because of the dog.

I don't mind dogs, but i think they're more a family type animal. Someone's usually at home at some point to let him out when need be. But wayyy too many single girls have dogs as a way to fill a void in their life. The girl i'm 'seeing' now basically knows her dog is inconvenient and actually told me she wouldn't have gotten it (It was fairly recently) if she knew she was going to meet me.

Then there was the girl who had the totally untrained little dog. The one who listened to NOTHING. The one who actually would jump in between you two so you couldn't even sit together on the couch. The one that gets a christmas stocking and is treated like a child. The one that HAS TO SLEEP IN THE BED. WTF. That was ok for a little bit until the dog stepped on my eye. Another time i pushed (not hard) the dog off my lap after he jumped on me for the 5th time in a row and i was told to stop being mean to her dog. Yeah, i straight up seeing that girl because i told her she's crazy and i wouldn't be second class to a dog.

And there was another girl once... we were gonna go on a vacation and she insisted on bringing her dog. We never did go on that vacation.

"Must love dogs." Pfft, i can love dogs, but that doesn't mean i have to put up with your dog any more than i'd put up with your children. I'd have my own dog if i was willing to put up with the inconvenience, but i'm not.

I prefer girls with cats.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I was recently talking with a freind about the absoulte psychotic mess the girl I used to date before I met my wife was, and I got to recalling some of the more annoying aspects of that miserable relationship.

One of the most aggrivating things I found myself wrapped up in was her obsession over this little Westhighland Terrier she had. I hated that fvcking animal; and I don't mean your garden variety hate, but the how Satan hates God kind of hate.

Even after being married for almost 13 years and having put this mess well behind me, I still get a violent twitch in my eye whenever I see someone walking a dog like this.

Now you're probably wondering why I have such contempt for this otherwise innocent and cute little breed of dog. It's not that I dislike Westies per se, but it was her insane, psychotic devotion to this pet that she would lavish on it in preference to paying attention to me or even her friends at times.

It was at this point that I did a bit of research to see if this phenomenon had a psychological parallel and interestingly enough it does. I got to thinking about all of the people I knew who gratuitiously and excessively spent inordinate amounts of time and money on the wellbeing of their pets. These were universally women - I can't think of one unattached man I know who even has a dog, much less gets up early to drop it off at 'doggie daycare' on his way to work and picks it up on his way home. Neither do I know a man who would spend the kind of money 'gourmet dog biscuits' command from a store dedicated to nothing else, nor a guy who would buy 'Frosty Paws' dog ice cream treats, but I do know women who will. I know women who will spend $1500 for their "little precious'" to spend a day at the doggie spa. I know women who will pamper and coddle thier pet even after it sh!ts diarrea on the living room carpet and in the same breath berate their husbands for leaving the toilet seat up.

However it's not just the degree to which some women will go in their devotion to their pets, it's the indifference they display toward the human beings of importance in their lives, in preference to their pets, that crosses the line. There is a current field of study in this psychological transference of emotion to pets. Nothing terribly conclusive has been set in stone of course, but the theory goes something like this; People (mainly female) having a tendency to dote exhorbitantly over their pets also tend to eschew meaningful interactions with significant people in their lives. It goes on to say that the pet becomes a 'self-proving' device that enables the individual to internalize that they are capable of loving while minimizing their reciprocation to another human being.

In otherwords when she sits there with little Fluffy and dotes over him rather than engaging you in even limited communication or affection it may be indicative of a more complex problem - a definite red flag to be sure. Of the examples of women's behavior I used in this essay, all of them were in some unsatisfying relationship that they were uncomfortable discussing yet would do nothing about. However, when prompted with conversation about thier pets they were very talkative.

So what does this mean to the DJ then? Beware. Part of an accomodating AFC nature is a disingenuous desire to identify with a woman in order to barter his identity for her intimacy. Nothing will bring a guy down faster than allowing this pet devotion dynamic to become a part of this identification.

 

[piranha45]

Perhaps a dog is a substitution for a child, and perhaps all the more treasured by some women because of the inherently subordinate nature of dogs? In other words they are idealized children, always seeking attention and affection from the mother, never talking back/whining/*****ing/etc?

 

[Bible_Belt]

I don't disagree with you guys.

But if I met some chick's furry rat for the first time, I would do my best to pretend to be just as enamored with the creature as she is. That is how to get her to do what you want. It's part of sales - you always love the kids and the pets, regardless of what you think of them. Even if they are brats and worthless mongrels, letting the prospect see that you think that will not help you make the sale. Closing the sale is more important than being right.

 

[STR8UP]

These women are no doubt filling some sort of void, and I can't see ANY guy in his right mind who wouldn't count this a a strike against a woman.

Woman has no man- she gets a dog.

Woman has a dog- she becomes less attractive to men.

Yet another manifestation of the fallout of feminism?

I also hear "He's my boyfriend" (said by a fukk buddy) as if men aren't worthy of the kind of love and attention they lavish upon these horny, hyperactive, stinky breath "children".

Women deserve their "surrogate boyfriends" and dildo's and tabloid rags and all of these other objects that they attempt to use to fill voids in their lives because they were too busy trying to be "strong, independent women".

 

[Warrior74]

My ex bought a pomeranian puppy named pickles while we were together. It was a good dog besides all the hair shedding, the wonderful carpet stains, chewing on my things and constant barking. Then when we broke up she moved to her mothers and left the damn rat dog with me. I finally had enough after a month and left it on her mothers front porch. She hated me for that lol.

 

[MaddXMan]

I knew a woman once who took her dog everywhere and treated it like a child. She actually, seriously compared having a dog to raising a child, saying they were the same thing. We (her coworkers) really miffed her when we said that dogs were only stupid animals, and NOTHING like raising a child!!! Of course she had no children of her own, so there's that void-filling theory for ya in action.

 

[ketostix]

Perhaps a dog is a substitution for a child, and perhaps all the more treasured by some women because of the inherently subordinate nature of dogs? In other words they are idealized children, always seeking attention and affection from the mother, never talking back/whining/*****ing/etc?

I was thinking the same thing along the lines that there are paralells between women who use a dog and women who use their children as a buffer to use against men.

I've had a few encounters with women with dogs. Why is it women always seem to choose the most annoying little dogs. This one girl I was seeing for awhile had her little dog sleep in the bed with her. I hated having that dirty fur ball lieing around on your legs. Then there's the crazy middle-aged woman who moved in next door some time ago and has the two twin minature dogs. I'm not sure what breed. But they bark incessantly at you when you go outside in your own yard. It's annoying as hell and even the way they bark sounds annoying. Of course this woman lets them out about everytime the very second I got out in my yard. Nuts!

 

[cordoncordon]

Women love their dogs, shopping, and gossip. Men love their cars, sports, and beer. Many, including me, obsess of them (sports). To the point where you talk about it with a women and she thinks you're crazy for loving a bunch of other grown men running around in tight pants or shorts most of the time playing with a ball and knowing every stat there is to know about them. And I know men worse then me!

We all have our different likes and dislikes. To label women crazy because of their love for small dogs is imo.....reaching.

BTW I love dogs.

 

[Luthor Rex]

It's NAUSEATING how they treat these annoying fukking overgrown rats.

Spend the night at a chicks house and even if she's kind enough to close the bedroom door behind her leaving little Dolce in the living room inevitably every hour on the hour some leaves rustle outside the front door or the compressor on the fridge makes a noise and "killer" has to start yapping his little head off.

It's funny how the smallest dogs tend to be the loudest and most annoying. There is only one woman I know who has dogs and I actually like the dogs, but they are all larger, generally quiet and more intelligent (as far as it goes).

I think people pick pets with a personality that compliments their own, so if a woman has a dog, pay attention to what the dog acts like, it will reflect the temperament of its owner.

Then there was the girl who had the totally untrained little dog. The one who listened to NOTHING.

And just think: THIS IS HOW SHE IS GOING TO RAISE HER CHILDREN.

well, maybe...

There is a current field of study in this psychological transference of emotion to pets. Nothing terribly conclusive has been set in stone of course, but the theory goes something like this; People (mainly female) having a tendency to dote exhorbitantly over their pets also tend to eschew meaningful interactions with significant people in their lives. It goes on to say that the pet becomes a 'self-proving' device that enables the individual to internalize that they are capable of loving while minimizing their reciprocation to another human being.

Yup, I dated a woman exactly like this. She had daddy issues and all of her affection was directed at her out of control dog.

even Hitler loved his dog

Hitler was an anti-smoking, animal-loving, vegetarian. I sh!t you not.

Edit: Hitler's dog Blondi.

 

[STR8UP]

I was thinking the same thing along the lines that there are paralells between women who use a dog and women who use their children as a buffer to use against men.

Yea, I've heard the "I have to go home and take care of Hershey....I have to walk him and I don't want him to be alone for too long" line one week, then the next week after you lay pipe to the chick she sleeps over. What happened to little Hershey? Of course, the dog is FINE, but she still has to obsess about it the next morning....

I've had a few encounters with women with dogs. Why is it women always seem to choose the most annoying little dogs.

Yea, I don't have a problem with dogs. I just don't see the point in having a hyperactive little sh!t that barks at EVERYTHING.

My ex got a lab when we were together. Cute puppy....great dog when he grew up. I can deal with that. I can't deal with a dog that pisses on everything when it gets excited (i have seen one).

We all have our different likes and dislikes. To label women crazy because of their love for small dogs is imo.....reaching.

There is a difference between having a hobby and lavishing an inordinate amount of attention on an animal at the expense of human relationships.

Went to a patio bar last weekend with a chick I've been banging, and she insisted on bringing her dog. And putting a little bit of beer on a plate for it to drink. And feeding it chips. And talking baby talk to it while I was sitting right there. Parading it around and soaking up the attention from other people, leaving me sitting there with a stupid half smile on my face.

If that isn't a sign that she's lacking something or running from something or is off kilter in SOME way, I don't know what is.

 

[logic1]

On the subject of women and animals

What about the women and her chimp who mutilated her girlfriend?

Did you see some of the pictures of them together?? I wonder if the monkey was boinkin her?? The pictures creeped me out.

I think these women are filling some type of void. Some of it is down right unhealthy. I think it raises flags about "some" women.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Unusual devotion to a dog or cat is on my list of dealbreakers, and has been for some time. You think chicks in america are bad? girls here in japan dress them up in cute doggie clothes, hats, boots. They even have special baskets for them to ride in on their bikes.

I see some psychos out walking their dogs, all dressed in pink shyt. I swear the dog is sending me a psychic message: "please kill me"


not a dog, but you get the idea:

http://www.japantoday.com/category/picture-of-the-day/view/feline-fashion

 

[mrRuckus]

I did date a girl for a year that had a pit bull. Of course it was well trained and obeyed instantly your commands.

At least i could play tug of war with this one. i have no idea what to do with a tiny dog with an annoyingly tiny bladder.

 

[MatureDJ]

I wrote that even Hitler had a dog that probably loved him. All you gotta do is feed the thing some bacon.

So true. The dog will always like being around the human that feeds him (or takes him out to take a sh!t.) Dogs especially are bred to be very simple positive feedback animals.