Sexuality is on my Mentality!!! Advice anyone?

[Make-A-Way]

Sup fellas,

Here's the deal: I'm a guy who has all of his **** together. I got a cool personality, a job, going to school, athletic(in a tall lanky way), plenty of hobbies[forgive me for the runon sentence], and can talk to any girl I want as well as flirt with them.

I can't seem to , as Pook would say, fully embrace my sexuality. What I mean is that I'll be hanging out with a girl touching her everywhere but her R- rated spots and I'll hesitate to kiss a girl or even to start having sex with her. Now don't get me wrong...I'm not a virgin. I just so happened to get sex from aggressive average women and not the HB's we all want.


I've been on this site for 2 years (this upcoming May) and its changed my way of thinking. Pooks posts have really got me out of the rut of having to think of what technique or trick to use. Oh...and yeah I did buy several dating books and Deangelo's CDs. I also read the DJ Bible from front to back.

So I need help: I feel like I have to hide my intentions for wanting to bone a girl because if I dont she'll sniff it out and won't respond the way I want her to. What do you guys suggest? And I want everyone's opinion... not just Pook, paradox, icepick,etc......everyone(beginners to senior DJs). I feel like that I'll end up doing something desperate. Thanks in advance guys.

 

[Pook]

This is an EXCELLENT discussion post. One thing we hear all the time from people is that,

"Go out and immediately get laid, THEN you won't have any trouble with women!"
"Go get a prostitute so you'll stop being VIRGIN then everything is easier."
"Go out into the ACTION REALM and everything else will get better."

Your post defies those 'solutions' and shows that instead of just saying, "Go outside and get 'experience', then everything will work' that we need to work on our inner realm (and then the outer realm will fix itself)

Anti-Dump says, "Beautiful women will HIDE their feelings." This is so true! This is also why you can't sit around and look for signs.

Anti-Dump really helped me when it came to the beautiful women (especially the beautiful INNOCENT women). Whereas most women would by now be revealing her feelings for me, they do not. I can only know if they are interested by their actions, which is YES to the phone number and YES to the dates.

Now, you are on a date with the beautiful innocent women. What do we do?

Since women already see me as a sexual being, I don't kino. But just as there is a plane of sexuality with touching, fondling, kissing, etc., (this is SEEN) there is also another plane of sexuality (which is UNSEEN). This 'unseen' plane means things like voice tone, eye contact, a literal connection.

Desire is what will get you the beautiful innocent girl. However, this desire needs to be transmitted along this 'unseen' plane.

Let me give you an example. I was rejected by this one girl that I really really liked which orignally sent me to this forum (this was four years ago). Now, I'm going out with her. She is the perfect example of the 'beautiful innocent' type.

What could I do? You just can't go up to her and start grabbing things. How do you create intimacy with the beautiful innocent type?

Through desire. Let her know you want her.

"But didn't you say you ought to be desireless?"

Well, when you were a nice guy how were you showing your desire? Through flowers? Through declarations of love? By talking to her all day?

Our ROMANTIC MACHINE is broken when that happens. And the only way to FIX it is to TURN OFF OUR DESIRE. OK, now we aren't doing these stupid sappy things. Now we have to rebuild the ROMANTIC MACHINE (replace it with something like Anti-Dump's Machine).

Now when your ROMANTIC MACHINE gets turned back on, you do not display your desire on the seen channels (through flowers, gifts, chocolate, poetry) but through the unseen realm (eye contact, voice tone, getting to the point, etc.)

So when I was at dinner with my beautiful innocent girl, I started eye contact and never looked away except to eat my food.

People think eye contact is simply staring into someone else's eyes. It isn't. Eye contact is displaying your desire into her eyes.

I let it all out. All my desire I've had for her, all the frustrations she's caused me (I am on this website because of her), all the work that SHE put me through, I said not a word of it but she knew every bit, because she saw it in my eyes.

She melted.

...and melted...

...and melted.

She returned the eye contact.

The next step is to see if the conversation is flowing. Is she laughing? Is she lust drunk?. She should be giggling like a little girl, with her eyes caught into yours.

Do the DeAngelo test of brushing her hair with your fingers. If she's suspectible to this, kiss her. If she likes that, keep kissing her then slowly move around her face, kinoing the back of her head, her arms, wherever, and keep the desire up. Do NOT let it go.

In order for the girl to melt, there needs to be a fire. The fire in your eyes. The fire in your lips. The fire in your touch.

This is how a woman wants to feel. It is in this moment, she feels truly female for she has been desired and is now being acted on.

There is a reason why women have a fantasy of being in a crowded room and a guy locking eye contact with them. Is it eye contact? No, it is his DESIRE at her. She LOVES being desired. Oh heavens, it makes her feel like a woman.

Beautiful innocent women's role in Nature is to be desired and not desiring. So next time you are with that girl, let it all out in your eyes and watch what happens.

She may start off all wooden but in the end, I guarentee, she'll be cookie dough.

 

[Señor Fingers]

I feel ya brother. In fact I have spent much of my adult life in your situation. I have been in the SAME BED with hot girls and done nothing at all because I didnt want to make things "uncomfortable". I was afraid of OFFENDING them with my sexuality!

Perhaps I am just shooting in the dark here, but my instincts tell me that your biggest problem is that, somewhere along the line, you have learned to feel ashamed of your natural desires!

Now, I cant guarantee that my advice will help, but I can tell you what helped me in hopes that you will experience the same improvement.

Stop Watching Porn
I know I will probly get heat for this, but porn can actually be destructive to your sexuality! It numbs your mind to the actual sexual presence of a woman and gets you into a zone where you are only comfortable with your sexuality from a position of a voyeur instead of a participant. Think about that last sentence before you read on....

If you are not having sex at all and rely strictly on porn to get your jollies off, then your mind becomes accustomed to this detached sexuality and it only helps to cement the isolation of your desires. I am not saying you should not masturbate, just learn to use your imagination and center the experience on yourself instead of a bunch of random sluts taking it up the ass.

Become the participant instead of the voyeur!

feel like I have to hide my intentions for wanting to bone a girl because if I dont she'll sniff it out and won't respond the way I want her to

"Sniff out"? You make it sound like she is the Sex Gestapo and you are the dirty little boy she caught with his pants down! One of the first things you need to realize is...

The Shocking Truth About Women
They enjoy sex more than we do! It is scientifically proven! Did you know that only women have an organ designed specifically for sex and has twenty times more nerve endings than a penis? Yes my friend, the ****oris is a wonderous thing! So is the G-Spot. Not only can women have multiple orgasms, but different TYPES of orgasms! This is why when a couple are going at at, the guy is all like "Yeah baby, you feel so good." and the girl is all like "OOOHHHH MMMYYYY GOOOOODDDDDDD!!! YESSS!! YES! YES! YES! YESSSSS!!!!!!! HARDERRRRRR!!!! YOU ARE MY MASTERRRRRRRR!!!! FUUUUUCCCCKKKKK MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"

It never occurred to me that women actually enjoy sex, but when I finally internalized this knowledge it helped alleviate the guilt factor. You really need to see that behind her shy facade and "nice girl" image she is ultimately using YOU for pleasure!

Dont Get it Twisted Though
Like Pook said, your best bet is to SHOW her your desire instead of expressing it with words. Dont tell her you want her, give her the LOOK that tells her this. Get comfortable touching her little by little. Tune into your natural sensuality and you can make the most mundane topic sound sexually charged!

Make the Connection
Though not completely necessary, it would probably help to find someone you really connect with on some level aside from the physical. A woman who turns you on in many ways to the point where you forget your insecurities. I lost my virginity to my best friend and it was an awesome experience!

Now, you will hear alot of guys on this site tell you that once a girl is your friend, it is next to impossible to turn things around. This is pure horse sh!t! Getting intimate with your lady friends is not only a rewarding experience but is alot easier than you think. Check out my controversial thread...

Escaping the Friend Zone

Oh yeah...Two Words: Gunwitch Method
Forget about all these tactics and focus on your NATURAL sexual state. Have no shame to your game! Project your desires through eye contact, touching and eventually full-on monkey sex.

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=46286

Sincerely hope this helps man. Best of luck to you...

FINGZ ------> out

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

It is only natural for a man to desire a woman in her full femininity, and this desire is much appreciated by the female when it is done properly and with correct conduct. Also, it is only natural that women have a longing to be desired - this is why they expend so much energy and effort to 'look' and 'act' so desirable to men in their dress and in their actions!

My advice to you is ‘not’ to hide your intentions because women already ‘know’ the natural intentions of men. We are genetically wired to pursue her. The best form of pursuit is not found in a technique or stratagem, but rather it is found within your own natural masculinity that she is genetically wired to embrace.

By you embracing your manhood and pursuing her accordingly, she will feel desirable and she will reciprocate this desire for you. Through a proper courtship, both the male and female will then decide if they are compatible with one another, without the influence of the carnal lusts that are naturally aroused between the sexes..

You stated that you had no problems ‘sexing’ average aggressive women. This is because women who ‘sleep’ around and are sexually aggressive make no, or very little demands, on her partner, because she mainly wants to satisfy her carnal lusts. But the ‘beautiful woman’ you seek (Hot Babes) demand more than just a man’s presence . Hot Babes acceptance of a man is based on more criteria because they are already receiving an abundance of attention from the ‘average’ guy, and could grasp him with little effort.

So if you are looking for women that are at the highest level of attraction amongst men, you must give them more than the ‘average’ guy gives them. So as Pook stated, the flowers, gifts and chocolates are not what makes her desire you. If this was the case, she would desire every man, since this is the commonest of actions and reactions of most AFC men who desire ‘beautiful’ women. It is deeper than this and it goes to the ‘root’ of our masculinity and her femininity, as a man and a woman.

So do not hide your intentions or desire, rather embrace your masculine desire and show it in a way that does not include ‘superficial’ means but rather display it in such a form where she sees ‘value’ in keeping your company, and this desire is inextricably tied to your natural manhood.

Women love to feel wanted and love the attention they receive from men. But this is not done by gift-giving rather it is done by showing a concern for her welfare and that of yours. Besides men who possess intelligence, a sense of humor and are an overall fun guy, women seek men with certain ‘character’ traits and qualities, such as...

Men who have financial means to support them and their children.

Men whose values that are aligned with hers for compatibility purposes

Men who are responsible - most women will flee from men on drugs, and/or gamblers..

Men who protect and provide for her and her children, good women avoid ‘submissive’ men, this trait is not in sync with a man’s nature.

Men who are a sound decision maker – shows sound reasoning. Women fear irrational behavior in men.

Men who show concern for her welfare, one exhibits generosity.


A man’s ‘masculinity’ and ‘sexuality’ possesses these traits, in the eyes of a woman, and her desire for you will be long lasting and not just for a moment’s pleasure.
.
These are the things that a man should ‘not’ hide from a woman, and if you possess these characteristics, as you believe, then by all means exhibit them and show her your true ‘intentions’, as a man should!

 

[icepick]

Ummm...ahh...hmmm...

What pook said.

Yeah, that's it.

Think of it as electricity. You are positive and girls are negative. (Some are more "charged" than others.) The current flows from you to her, but you don't have to FORCE it out, it is DRAWN out.

For the sparks to even happen, there has to be a connection. You don't tell the negative end of the battery: "Hey, there is a positive end on the other side...give me some electricity now!" They have to be connected in some way or nothing will EVER happen.

 

[Make-A-Way]

Hey...thanks once again guys for the advice.

Either you guys are mind readers or you all just been through some major experiences.

Pook
I'll try that kissing method with the added desire on my future dates.

Mr Fingers
I'd say you are right about me being ashamed for my desires. I'd have to say it goes back to when I was a kid watching R-rated movies with my family when all of a sudden a sexual scene would come on and my mom would tell me and my siblings to look away.[ Even though I would sometimes peek ]

You're also right about the porn. I remember when I would look at porn online everyday for a week, but when I saw a fine girl out on the town I would feel nothing. But when I don't look at porn for a long time I'd notice attractive women and I would get turned on.

I read the Gunwitch method on an ASF site one time but I never took it very seriously. I was wondering if you ever used this method in your own experiences? Oh...and tonight there was this OK looking girl and she was sitting on a ledge. I went over to her standing between her legs and started to stare into her eyes. I had to let myself think sexual thoughts about her and I swear I started to get a hard on. Of course we were just talking about some stuff when I teased her for turning red. After that she got off the ledge and went to my friends room. Oh well.....

PuertoRican Lover
You're also right about showing desire instead of telling it. I should have learned my lesson when I was in grade school. I gave the finest girl in class a flower and some candy for Valentine's Day. She ended up throwing them away!!!!! Oh well.....

Basically my overall problem is my shame on expressing my sexuality.
Anymore comments?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Make-a-way,

Don't just "show her", you have to "become" these qualities to make a woman desire you more than the next guy!

Just to reiterate, the main point of my first post was to state that a man's sexuality is inextricably tied to his masculinity, and his masculinity is tied to certain traits and characteristics that are attractive to the female when she is considering him as a mate (see the listed traits above). So I said that a man should tie his sexuality to these 'masculine' characteristics that women find attractive in a man and she will desire his 'sexuality' based on 'these' factors. The more of these characteristics that a man possesses, and to the greater degree that he attains them, the more a woman will desire his company as her mate.

Yes, show a woman your sexuality and how desirable you are, not through gift giving or through your obvious physical sexual organs (every man has one of those), but by holding dear to those traits that a woman so desires in a man!


There is nothing wrong in having some shame when expressing your sexuality. Sex is a very private act between two people and it is usually done in private quarters for a good reason. So obviously shame and sexuality has a connection...if you ever saw someone's towel drop when they got out of the shower or someone swimwear falls off in public. The first thought and reaction that they have is to immediately, without hesitation, cover their 'shame'. 'Shame' meaning their sexual organs that are at the physical root of their sexuality.

Hors and homosexuals usually don't abide by this natural reaction because they are only too eager to show their sexuality and flaunt it as a spectacle to be gawked at, without regard to their natural shame that held them back in their younger years.

Now sexuality is a commodity and treated as such and it no longer holds the same sacred meaning that it once had for reproductive purposes to be shared with husband and wife only.

In today's culture, it is encouraged that our sexuality be shared with whomever tickles our fancy". Mostly chaos and conflict between the male and the female has been the result of this thinking, as well as the widespread infections of communicable diseases.

So some shame is good to have because it brings restraint to our carnal lusts. Without some restraint our sexuality will solely be taken over by the natural physical forces at work and we would not consider the mental or spiritual side of the matter, and without these other considerations there we would be disastrous familial and societal ramifications that would take place as a result. We are entering this dangerous stage in American society right now!

 

[JohnnyLegard]

Spoken like a true prodigy Pook, I couldn't have put it in better words myself. I now know why people on this site keep talking about you.

I would even go so far to say that eye contact is the single most important thing to be good at if anything. Touching is just physical, but eye contact creates passion.

It's not just any sort of eye contact that works, you gotta do it in a way where you can make the woman feel a little intimidated when you first do it, like you're piercing into her soul. If they look away, don't stop looking at them; eventually they'll look back and return you're gaze more and more.

It's an example of showing, not telling. Buying gifts and writing poems are telling, being touchy alone is just saying that you want to get in her pants-- penetrating someone with your eyes somehow shows that you want them.

If a woman is shy and always looking away, just keep looking at her eyes until you get that kind of eye contact; it especially works on women like this. You can cut into them like a hot knife through butter. I can't explain why it works, but does... in more instances than not, you'll have them wrapped around you're fingure.

I guess there's a reason why the Mona Lisa is so famous. No matter where you stand in front of the painting, she's always staring right at you.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by Make-A-Way
PuertoRican Lover,

You're also right about showing desire instead of telling it. I should have learned my lesson when I was in grade school. I gave the finest girl in class a flower and some candy for Valentine's Day. She ended up throwing them away!!!!! Oh well.....

Make-a-way,

Don't just "show her"desire, you have to "become" these qualities that a woman desires, to differentiate yourself from the next guy and to becone the "choosen one"!

Just to reiterate, the main point of my first post was to state that a man's sexuality is inextricably tied to his masculinity, and his masculinity is tied to certain traits and characteristics that are attractive to the female when she is considering him as a mate (see the listed traits above). So I said that a man should tie his sexuality to these 'masculine' characteristics that women find attractive in a man and she will desire his 'sexuality' based on 'these' factors. The more of these characteristics that a man possesses, and to the greater degree that he attains them, the more a woman will desire his company as her mate.

Yes, show a woman your sexuality and how desirable you are, not through gift giving or through your obvious physical sexual organs (every man has one of those), but by holding dear to those traits that a woman so desires in a man!

Originally posted by Make-A-Way
Basically my overall problem is my shame on expressing my sexuality.
Anymore comments?

There is nothing wrong in having some shame when expressing your sexuality. Sex is a very private act between two people and it is usually done in private quarters for a good reason. So obviously shame and sexuality has a connection...if you ever saw someone's towel drop when they got out of the shower or someone swimwear falls off in public. The first thought and reaction that they have is to immediately, without hesitation, cover their 'shame'. 'Shame' meaning their sexual organs that are at the physical root of their sexuality.

Hors and homosexuals usually don't abide by this natural reaction because they are only too eager to show their sexuality and flaunt it as a spectacle to be gawked at, without regard to their natural shame that held them back in their younger years.

Now sexuality is a commodity and treated as such and it no longer holds the same sacred meaning that it once had for reproductive purposes to be shared with husband and wife only.

In today's culture, it is encouraged that our sexuality be shared with whomever tickles our fancy". Mostly chaos and conflict between the male and the female has been the result of this thinking, as well as the widespread infections of communicable diseases.

So some shame is good to have because it brings restraint to our carnal lusts. Without some restraint our sexuality will solely be taken over by the natural physical forces at work and we would not consider the social or spiritual consequences of the matter. Without these other considerations there we would be disastrous familial and societal ramifications that would take place as a result. We are, right now, in the middle of this dangerous stage in American society!

 

[Duke]

Brilliant replies to this thread.

I've been experiencing the "unseen" realm that Pook and Fingers talked about, and it is powerful.

This unseen realm of communication is what elevates one from being "cute" into being "sexy" and "hot".

"Being desired" is what women ultimately want, as Pook said. When you can convey your desire through the "unseen" channels, then you will make her feel truly female...and she will melt.