Sexuality is my Mentality...Advice please!

[Marvin Gaye]

Hey guys

Here's the deal: I'm a guy who has all of his **** together. I got a cool personality, a job, going to school, athletic(in a tall lanky way), plenty of hobbies[forgive me for the runon sentence], and can talk to any girl I want as well as flirt with them.

I can't seem to , as Pook would say, fully embrace my sexuality. What I mean is that I'll be hanging out with a girl touching her everywhere but her R- rated spots and I'll hesitate to kiss a girl or even to start having sex with her. Now don't get me wrong...I'm not a virgin. I just so happened to get sex from aggressive average women and not the HB's we all want.


I've been on this site for 2 years (this upcoming September) and its changed my way of thinking. Pooks posts have really got me out of the rut of having to think of what technique or trick to use. Oh...and yeah I did buy several dating books and Deangelo's CDs. I also read the DJ Bible from front to back.

So I need help: I feel like I have to hide my intentions for wanting to bone a girl because if I dont she'll sniff it out and won't respond the way I want her to. What do you guys suggest? And I want everyone's opinion... not just backbreaker, igetit!, Iceberg,etc......everyone(beginners to senior DJs). I feel like that I'll end up doing something desperate. Thanks in advance guys.

 

[Warrior74]

Be brave and just do it. Report back. Repeat.

 

[Alanswer]

Maybe it's just me but you seem confused.
So, I would like you to develop one or two points before I try to help.

I can't seem to , as Pook would say, fully embrace my sexuality.
What I mean is that I'll be hanging out with a girl touching her everywhere but her R- rated spots and I'll hesitate to kiss a girl or even to start having sex with her.

So, you're not comfortable with intimacy/sex.

I just so happened to get sex from aggressive average women and not the HB's we all want.

You mean, they do most of the job for you so it's easier and you manage to have sex because of that, right?

So I need help: I feel like I have to hide my intentions for wanting to bone a girl

Here's where I get confused.
1- Do you really want to have sex with most of the girls you make out with?

2- It seems to me that, on the contrary, you should be clearer (not necessarily verbally but in your actions) in your intentions. If you really want to have sex with them, show it and DO it.

3- What makes you feel discomfort? Touching their erogenous zones? Penetrating them? Both?

4- Do you fear to don't be good enough (in action)?

5- Have you lived a difficult/traumatizing (it can be seeing/hearing something you didn't want to see/hear, something you did or something that has been done to you) experience involving you and/or someone close to you?

I don't need any answer. That's questions you should ask yourself.
We're on a public forum and I don't think that's the place for this unless you're cool with it because of anonymity.

because if I dont she'll sniff it out and won't respond the way I want her to.

Be truthful and ask yourself what's the way I want her to respond?


And last, you should try some psychological books instead of PUA ones. I sincerely think that the best advice anyone can give you.

Your problem is not related to seducing/attracting girls. It's a psychological one.
Don't worry we all have (psychological) problems but we are few to accept it and try to do something about it.
Psychology is for everyone to understand themselves and others deeper, better... To improve ourselves. It's definitely not only for nut-jobs and psychos.

All what is called 'inner game' is based on psychology. So, go directly to the source and I promise it'll help... If you are truthful/objective with yourself.

Just remember the first step is to discover/undrestand why you have this 'problem', the second is to accept/assume its origin/cause and the third is to change/get better.
You'll never get better (or only superficially) if you don't know the true cause of your discomfort/fear.

I'm sure you'll succeed.

 

[Mr. Fantastic]

Here goes my advice: before you take any advice on this site to heart, decide what you want then be more specific when asking for advice. But since you seem so desperate for advice, I guess I can offer my POV.

"Here's the deal: I'm a guy who has all of his **** together. I got a cool personality, a job, going to school, athletic(in a tall lanky way), plenty of hobbies[forgive me for the runon sentence], and can talk to any girl I want as well as flirt with them."

Good for you man, and keep up the good work. All I have to say is watch your ego man (This is by far the hardest thing for me to control). While it is important to have a high self-esteem and a positive view on life, don't start thinking you are the **** about anything. I mean if you got all your **** together then why are you seeking advice? Just something to consider...

"I can't seem to , as Pook would say, fully embrace my sexuality. What I mean is that I'll be hanging out with a girl touching her everywhere but her R- rated spots and I'll hesitate to kiss a girl or even to start having sex with her. Now don't get me wrong...I'm not a virgin. I just so happened to get sex from aggressive average women and not the HB's we all want."

This is where my advice may not help you, but I'll go ahead and give it anyway (can't tell if you are looking for a LTR or casual lay). If you are looking for a casual lay then go read up on some Speed Seduction because it is the most efficient way of achieving it. But since you are using Pook's advice I'm gonna guess you are looking for something more? What you have to understand about Pook's advice is that he was not concerned with getting laid per se, but rather improvement of ones life. When he talked about embracing sexuality he meant for it to be extended to every aspect of your life (being a man in the workplace as well as the "game"). Part of being a man is eliminating all fear. Face it man, the reason why you are hesitant is because you have fear. If you want to kiss her, go for it. Same for "touching her R-rated spots" just go for it. If you fail, oh well, at least you will learn when it is not appropriate. Just remember You have no time for fear and hesitation in your life.

"I've been on this site for 2 years (this upcoming September) and its changed my way of thinking. Pooks posts have really got me out of the rut of having to think of what technique or trick to use. Oh...and yeah I did buy several dating books and Deangelo's CDs. I also read the DJ Bible from front to back."

While it is good that you are absorbing all this information, you have to be careful because there are a lot of conflicting ideas in all of those sources. Find out what you want and adopt the context that will best helps you achieve it. For example, if you are looking to get laid don't go read up on LTR threads. Also if you are reading up on Pook's stuff, beware that his ideas actually conflicted with casual sex and **** buddies (he saw this a holding back from absolute self improvement since seduction in essence is nothing but focusing on pleasing women, but that is for another post completely).

"So I need help: I feel like I have to hide my intentions for wanting to bone a girl because if I dont she'll sniff it out and won't respond the way I want her to. What do you guys suggest? And I want everyone's opinion... not just backbreaker, igetit!, Iceberg,etc......everyone(beginners to senior DJs). I feel like that I'll end up doing something desperate. Thanks in advance guys."

You don't have to hide your intentions, amplify them with your body language. Quit reacting and start acting. Go for what you want and if she doesn't like it she'll stop you (well most women will...). The best way you can learn what "to do" is by failing. Failing is the only way for you to succeed.