Sexual then She Doesn't want to Ruin The Friendship??

[GuitarOnFire]

Got this girl's # over Facebook, saying I wanted to hangout/play vids. Started inviting her out a few times in the 3 weeks. First she was sick, then she cancelled because she had homework to do, etc. Used to get tons of smileys in all of her replies.

Been flirting, sexting, etc. she was saying I was going to make her ***, etc. Told her all kinds of dirty things I would do. So she loved it lots and lots.

Anyways, she met a guy she seemed to like more yesterday and they met up today without her telling me until when I said I'm there, let's meet. I told her to cancel her plans with that guy to hang with me because I'm the better man easily but she refused. I made it clear I wanted to date so many times and then over text she says she doesn't want to 'ruin our friendship' even though we have never met and I've flirted endlessly/excessively.

She still wants to meet me though.. and is worried that i hate her now and will leave and abandon her. very odd girl. So..?

 

[TheGambino]

She is playing games which means low interest. I would next her but if you stand on it?

Meet with her, kino, flirt, attract and ESCALATE asap. If she resists, make her feel special. If that doesn't work, don't act bvthurt and bail and never look back.

 

[Billtx49]

It isn’t sexual until you bang her. Texting and sexting are both fantasy game.…
You’ve been played for attention on a friend basis by her.

 

[GuitarOnFire]

Forgot to mention that she's 18 so I was trying to blast through her game-playing

Edit 2: found out tonight that she has ADD and ADHD so she says doing her homework is very hard. Are those conditions bad for relationships anyways?? Every girl I've ever met with ADD seem to have a roving eye..

 

[CMNILS87]

Forgot to mention that she's 18 so I was trying to blast through her game-playing

Dude...... don't tell her dirty things you're gonna do to her before doing them. It's 50/50 at best and it only works if they are super hot and bothered by you already. Your game has to be super tight to pull thst off and even thrn you gotta tread careful or you'll blow her out.

She's playing you for attention now. She blew you off 3 times. After the 2nd I would've disappeared and then waited for her.

 

[GuitarOnFire]

Thanks for the replies so far. Guess I funked up thinking I was on the right track. Cheers.

 

[FwoGiZ]

How have you been on this forum 16 yrs but have such beta behavior :X No offense dude but I think your burnt that one already... you sent beta vibes, and now all she wants from you are dinners, attention, and someone to text with when she's bored. She'll get D elsewhere.

I guess you could try to escalate once and for all next time you meet up but good luck with that....
I NEVER text... not my mom, not my friends, not my main gf... I don't think anything good can happen out of texting.
I always tell em I am more of a face to face kinda guy.
Also, you are giving her all these things she wants from a guy, and she hasn't even had to give you sex yet sooo.. why would she now?

 

[QuadDeuces]

She is 18 and you were a member since 2001? She was 2 years old when you subscribed.

 

[GuitarOnFire]

How have you been on this forum 16 yrs but have such beta behavior :X No offense dude but I think your burnt that one already... you sent beta vibes, and now all she wants from you are dinners, attention, and someone to text with when she's bored. She'll get D elsewhere.

Not really active on the forums that entire time. I used to sarge with wing-men but found they messed up the sets so I worked on my humour, etc. on my own. I sort of come and go every few weeks now (see reason below) but used to not visit for months or longer.

I just recently went through a divorce after a 7 year relationship/marriage so I'm probably a bit too desperate than I should be at the moment. She is also 10+ years younger than me and I'm not used to gaming younger chicks tbh. It seems like high drama and I have to dumb the topics down a lot.

She also insisted on texting and I found out yesterday its because she saves voice for emergencies. My ex was a big texter too.

I guess you could try to escalate once and for all next time you meet up but good luck with that....
I NEVER text... not my mom, not my friends, not my main gf... I don't think anything good can happen out of texting.
I always tell em I am more of a face to face kinda guy.
Also, you are giving her all these things she wants from a guy, and she hasn't even had to give you sex yet sooo.. why would she now?

I have been trying to get her face-to-face for weeks. It's not for a lack of trying. Found out she is so swamped with homework that she isn't even making it to her classes on time.

I was trying to escalate over text but it is definitely far more limiting than meeting in person or talking over the phone.

She still wants to meet and was super upset to tell me that she couldn't meet today. I think she was scared that I would be angry at her.

 

[dude99]

Got this girl's # over Facebook, saying I wanted to hangout/play vids. Started inviting her out a few times in the 3 weeks. First she was sick, then she cancelled because she had homework to do, etc. Used to get tons of smileys in all of her replies.

Been flirting, sexting, etc. she was saying I was going to make her ***, etc. Told her all kinds of dirty things I would do. So she loved it lots and lots.

Anyways, she met a guy she seemed to like more yesterday and they met up today without her telling me until when I said I'm there, let's meet. I told her to cancel her plans with that guy to hang with me because I'm the better man easily but she refused. I made it clear I wanted to date so many times and then over text she says she doesn't want to 'ruin our friendship' even though we have never met and I've flirted endlessly/excessively.

She still wants to meet me though.. and is worried that i hate her now and will leave and abandon her. very odd girl. So..?

Her "getting sick," and "had to do homework. " with no counter offer told you everything you needed to know.

She wasn't interested.

Meeting new guy and hanging with him proved this.

She doesn't want to ruin your friendship is bs. You validate her ego. That is what she doesn't want to ruin.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Spin plates, spin plates, spin plates.
Girl not returning you calls, flakes on you? Silent next her until she reaches out and in the meanwhile hook up with new women.
You will notice that once you have an abundance mentality all the old hoes who ghosted on you magically reappear in your life, thats how the universe works.

 

[FwoGiZ]

escalating over text ?

is that's like dry humping?

 

[GuitarOnFire]

She wanted to meet last week but cancelled for like the 6th time. I shrugged it off and just said 'OK' or something. Then she gave a counteroffer for sometime this week.

She said she would be at the college Thursday (read: come and meet me doofus!) but I declined saying I had to go to work. Finally met her today with my buddy. She chilled with us and we chatted a bit but she was super-shy and blushed when she first sat down and I held out the chair for her.

One thing that bothers me though.. She kept texting while we were gaming (she games but didn't want to join in and play -- and even said she 'didn't want to talk about it' when I asked what games she liked... it was a very awkward moment... OK, so you game but you can't tell me what games you play? Riiight.

She also texted when she came along with us to Subway's and later left her backpack and jacket with us (someone she just met like 30 minutes or so earlier!) and took her phone with her to the washroom. So would she be texting a girl-friend saying how she met up with this older guy and has a crush? My girl-friend says its another guy but her advice has been horrible.

Edit: I was busy with my buddy (we record YT videos) but texted her saying it was 'nice to meet her' (she's very shy in person but warmed up a little after being around us today and she said the same back with a smiley. No loss not to ask her to hangout again, right?

So I texted her.. free Tuesday or Thursday.. would like to hangout. I'm assuming she's SINGLE as no guy would allow his girl to hang solo with another GUY when he asks her out.. She says 'Okieee'. I figure after the blushing 'n stuff, she wants the D eventually..

 

[FwoGiZ]

You failed by inviting her over with your buddy....
Always 1 on 1 man!!!
Also, talk about something else than gaming... She wants to talk about her own self of course!

 

[GuitarOnFire]

Erm, I agree to isolate but I had stuff to do that day and then sent her a random feeler-text and SHE suggested meeting up day-of right away... So I had to balance both of my priorities.

My buddy was there so I do agree that removing the gaming aspect is crucial. I did manage to ask a few Q's for the brief while we did hang but she is the shyest girl I have met in years if not ever.

Aiming to learn more about her without my buddy there on Tuesday. Offered to teach her how to play some pool on campus.

 

[Billtx49]

My buddy was there

So I had to balance both of my priorities.

Recognize your main priority, if it’s about you getting some poosay, nothing else matters, not even your buddy. He will understand if you’re going for some tail unless you like him more than her, then he might be butthurt….

 

[GuitarOnFire]

Exactly. So my main priority would be my responsibilities first and the girl second. Thus, not putting the girl on a pedestal and putting friends ahead of potential mates.

 

[FwoGiZ]

You got it all wrong......................
You can see your buddy anyday, anytime, anywhere... but he won't suck your ****.
You making plans with her while you were with your buddy was obviously poor planning.

I personally woulda asked my bud "hey man, this chick wants to hangout tonight, my **** is dry, mind if I ditch you over pvssy? I'll owe you one "
Or just told the girl "I am busy, how about Thursday?" which more often than not, increase your SMV towards her.

Be a man, pitch a 1on1, make it clear and obvious but subtle and covert that you want to have a date and couple drinks with her at a pub/bar

 

[GuitarOnFire]

I cancelled last Thursday because of work. I think inviting her out one on one is obvious enough for most girls that you don't want to play the girl-friend role.

She can't drink... she's underage. However, she messaged me as soon as she woke up today so that was pretty effin' rad. She is gradually opening up.

My buddy thinks her favourite games are Hentai and pr0n... That would explain the dirty mind she told me about. xD

 

[GuitarOnFire]

Met up with her today. She said she was feeling under the weather but we spent a long time laughing our asses off in the library, making fun of the other people there, talking about penises, ***** flaps, etc. We actually got a ****-ton of prep-work done on her assignment the whole time! She messaged a professional photographer who responded almost right away, so I helped fix up her basic ideas (she has ADD amongst other difficulties but is very cute and funny) She whacked me on the arm for the naughty comments I was making, she said her back was itchy so I scratched it, brushed my arm against hers without her flinching and even showed her how to high-five properly. (Haha)

Said I had a great time and she said she was down to meet-up again in two days time. At first she seemed down to meet at my place for a movie and not play pool but I think her ASD kicked in. Going to keep trying as its gotten me this far.