Sexual history

[AlwaysLearning]

There's this girl I'm dating. I'm about to break it off with her. That isn't really the situation. The situation I'm dealing with is yesterday she told me some details about her sexual history, which is pretty extensive. Well, more extensive than I wish it was. It's bothering me. I really don't know why it's bothering me but it really is. Maybe because it makes me feel insignificant or something along those lines. Maybe it's just a natural male reaction. What's the right way of thinking in this situation? It was a real disappointment to hear. Thanks for any help.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

Been there, done that. My ex told me she had a 3way and my reaction was similar to yours. However, I ended up dating her after that for 5 years.

I talked to an older guy about and and he said, "How's YOUR sexual history? Maybe just as bad? " -- wellll....... he was right. I had been in a 3 way too and banged alot of girls. So....meh.

Anyway, figure out how to deal with it. If you CANNOT justify it to yourself, then it'll be forever in the back of your head.

I'd try to get past it though. It's fresh in your mind right now, so don't make any quick decisions.

Just chill with her and don't get into that sexual history too much. The less you know, the better you are (for the most part).

If she is a ho-bag bytch who has a history of cheating on BF's and was dumb enough to tell you that, then bail.

Dude, it really boils down to what YOU want out of a woman and what you're willing to deal with.

 

[jbbrain]

great reply from above.

Do a search: Sexual history.

theres a lot on that.

 

[dietzcoi]

Why in the hell girls want to volunteer this sh1t is beyond me. They should know it is not something we want to know. I don't know what kind of a shyt test it is...

Having said that, if it bothers you, it bothers you. Don't feel that you are wrong for letting it bother you. You have to make your own decision.

Listen: It does not matter your sexual history. If she is bothered by your sexual history, she has to make a decision. In this case you are bothered by her sexual history and have to decide what to do.

It does not make you insecure if you cannot handle it. You have to decide what you need to do. Don't be talked into doing what you have to do by guys saying that it doesn't matter.

It does matter. It goes to character, whether you like it or not.

Like Eric said, if she is a nasty ho-bag, bail.

What exactly did she tell you?

Dietzcoi

 

[disciple]

Every girl I deal with, I assume she's been around and done sh*t just like I have.

I think the problem is that alot us men still have some of society's bullsh*t programming that women aren't supposed to "sleep around", but hey, they get horny just like us.

If a guy f*cks 20 chicks, he's a player or whatever. If a girl f*cks 20 guys, she's labeled a slut. What's the difference?

Finding some chick that's all pure and virginal is about as likely as a 5 foot 3 inch guy playing center in the NBA. You just have to accept the fact that she's "experienced" and get over it.

Hey, think about it this way. She's probably more open to try new and fun things in bed than would a less experienced chick.

 

[jbbrain]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=54764&highlight=sexual+history

 

[AlwaysLearning]

Originally posted by dietzcoi

What exactly did she tell you?

Dietzcoi

She basically said that there was a period in her life about a year ago where she had different guys over a lot. Judging from the pieces of info she's given me over the past couple of months we've been dating she probably fvcked a couple of them and the rest she probably made out with. Messed around with maybe 10 guys last year, maybe about 2 or 3 a month. I've had sex with 7 girls and she told me she's below me. I'm her third boyfriend so that makes 3 guys she's fvcked. So I'm estimating that she had sex with about two, maybe three at the most, of these guys.

I know I know, she could have lied and ****ed all of them, but I highly doubt it cause she's too open about all this sort of shiit. In fact she's too open about EVERYTHING (her past sexual shiet, her cheating on the BF before me, her heavy periosd, her EXes, her $25,000 credit card debt, guys she thinks are hot, blah blah blah), one of the reasons I dumped her last night, aside from some other shiet (some recent disrespect that I ain't tolerating). The "How to Tell When a Relationship is Over" section of the "Book of Shuma Gora" really helped me out in this situation BTW. It really worked like a charm!

Anyway, the relationship's over with, which helps me not give a fvck about it. Also, reading all the posts and DJ Bible, I've learned a lot in the past couple of days.

You should not become emotionally attached to a girl too quick (which I did in this relationship). Furthermore, you should not put women on pedestals like you did when you were an adolescent. You should not expect ANY woman to be a princess who has been waiting for a prince like you to appear all her life. Just go into any relationship with a woman (ONS or LTR) thinking that all women are freaks with big sexual histories, because 99% of them are. Make sure to retain proper detachment as according to the DJ Bible for the first two or three months. If you follow these guidelines, when the biotch reveals this kind of shiet it won't bother you like it did me, and countless others who have been through the same experience.

"The Secret of the Jerk" and "Be a Man" by Pook, along with the "How to Tell When the Relationship is Over" section of the "Book of Shuma Gora" by "Shuma Gora" really helped me out. STUDY, STUDY, STUDY, and APPLY, APPLY, APPLY.

-AL

 

[AlwaysLearning]

Originally posted by disciple

If a guy f*cks 20 chicks, he's a player or whatever. If a girl f*cks 20 guys, she's labeled a slut. What's the difference?

A lot of people ask this question. It is indeed one of the great mysteries. But, in my opinion, I'll have to say it's perfectly valid to call a man who's slept around with 20 partners a "player", whereas a girl who's done the same a "slut".

Why? Simply because I respect the man who has been able to sleep with 20 women in his life. Why do I respect him? Because pulling that kind of number ain't easy! An ugly girl could find a different man to sleep with every night. It wouldn't be hard for her at all. All she has to do is make her sexual interest known to enough guys, and she'll find one no problem.

However, a good looking guy will have a much harder time doing the same. Getting laid for a guy involves having the right look (clothes, hair, accessories, etc), the right frame of mind (confidence, willingness, knowledge of skills), and the right aura (manly yet nonthreatening). It takes a hell of a lot of work for most men to sleep with 20 women. It's not the same situation for women. Most women could sleep with 1000 men if they really wanted to, no problem.

So I got tons of respect for a player. No respect for a slut.

My two cents.

-AL

 

[ER!C L!VE]

Originally posted by AlwaysLearning
In fact she's too open about EVERYTHING (her past sexual shiet, her cheating on the BF before me, her heavy periosd, her EXes, her $25,000 credit card debt, guys she thinks are hot, blah blah blah),

Oh hell naw... I've met a few of those. Fvck, even fell for one. That's the beauty of dating. You just figured out what you DON'T want out of a woman.

Could you imagine if you didn't date alot and found her? You coulda married the bytch and forever been in dept while listening to her talk about how hot some actor or musician or the guy down the street looks.

I'm celebratin' for ya!! *does a top rock to the 6 step*

 

[AlwaysLearning]

Thanks man. I feel ya on what you're saying. More people need to learn the truth before it's too late.

-AL

 

[Marcopolo]

One thing I might add about women who have slept around a lot, especially if they have other problems like the credit card debt, is they tend to be mentally and emotionally unstable. Another term you may have heard todescribe this kind of woman is "psycho". Telling you her past sexual history is another red flag. I think you did the right thing by dumping her.

If you continued the relationship chances are you would find she had all sorts of problems such as self harm, anorexia, suicidal tendancies, violent mood swings, verbally and possibly even physically abusive(women can hit and throw things at you). It is also likely that she was abused in her past, and this is something else to be careful about. Also, if she comes on strong right away and seems at first to be the woman you have alwyas dreamed of meeting. Oh, and she will probably sleep around on you if she has done it before.

It is a major pain in the a$$ that you do not want, trust me. She will put you through hell and then some, and leave you drained and exhausted at the end.

 

[dietzcoi]

Yeah, good work...

Look, banging a woman like this is not the issue. Having an LTR is the issue...

I am sure there are plenty of symps or AFCs out there who will take her on and empty their wallets to pay her debt, all for the chance of a little puzzy...

Some of them are on this site, unfortunately

Dietzcoi

 

[disciple]

I agree with Alwayslearning that it is much harder for a man to sleep with 20 women than for a woman to sleep with 20 men.

The point of all this is though, is that you shouldn't freak out because a chick "got around" and she has experiece.

Now if she is telling you that she has engaged in some sexual activities that you know are high risk for diseases then that's another matter.

Women are just like men when it comes to satisfying sexual desires. We all go out and do "stuff".

 

[tatlongxxx]

guyz

My gf also told me her sexual histories. Men, its pretty disappointing but I can handle that. What keeps bothering me is to her brother.

Here’s the story;
While my gf is sleeping he kiss her on her lips, and she kisses back torrid. What do u thinks what happened next. I don’t know if they always doing this? They are too close to each other like changing clothes in front of him. Its a sad thing..... coz i still love her.

Should I dump her also?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: guyz

Originally posted by tatlongxxx
My gf also told me her sexual histories. Men, its pretty disappointing but I can handle that. What keeps bothering me is to her brother.

Here’s the story;
While my gf is sleeping he kiss her on her lips, and she kisses back torrid. What do u thinks what happened next. I don’t know if they always doing this? They are too close to each other like changing clothes in front of him. Its a sad thing..... coz i still love her.

Should I dump her also?

What would you do if she stopped kissing her brother, would it matter then? If not, tell her that you're uncomfortable with the relationship as long as she keeps doing that. If she stops, great continue with the relationship. If not, cut bait since its something you can't handle (which is ok).

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

Always Learning wrote:

I've had sex with 7 girls and she told me she's below me. I'm her third boyfriend so that makes 3 guys she's fvcked. So I'm estimating that she had sex with about two, maybe three at the most, of these guys.

So let me get this straight, you are uncomfortable about her sexual history because she's been with 2 or 3 guys? Are you for real? That's nothing. How old are you and how old is she? Dude, you're going to be uncomfortable your whole life if these types of numbers bother you.

And seriously, the Mods need to move these lame posts out of the "Mature Man" forum.

 

[JohnJones]

Agree with Caesar -- depending on your age, those numbers are not out of line. Every girl goes through some out of control stage where she is "not that nice" (that's how one 18 y/o described it to me 14 years ago. Its a combination of college freedom, low or developing self esteem and attention from guys.

But those numbers are pretty rational. I'd be more concerned about the fact that she cheated on someone -- girls like that (low numbers but high incidence of cheating) can be especially painful because something you worked hard to get as a b/f, she gives away pretty cheap cheating on you.

So in the end, there is no problem with dumping her b/c she's not what you are looking for but those numbers are only going to go higher. Just look for girls who date a little before they hook up.

 

[AlwaysLearning]

Originally posted by Cesare Cardinali
Always Learning wrote:



So let me get this straight, you are uncomfortable about her sexual history because she's been with 2 or 3 guys? Are you for real? That's nothing. How old are you and how old is she? Dude, you're going to be uncomfortable your whole life if these types of numbers bother you.

And seriously, the Mods need to move these lame posts out of the "Mature Man" forum.

You read it wrong. She hasn't been with two or three guys. She's had two or three one night stands on top of her boyfriends, and about 7 other guys she messed around with within a small period of time. So yeah, that shiit bothered me, and it would bother plenty other people. If people didn't understand what I was going through they wouldn't have replied, and there wouldn't have been plenty other posts on this topic either.

All I wanted was help on how to think about the situation. And believe me, there a shiitload of posts worse than this one. Go biitch about one of them.

-AL

 

[dietzcoi]

Always Learning

Don't let the haters get you down.

Your concerns are justified. Now you have to decide what to do.

Fukk the chumps who don't mind being with girls who have "smooth-bore" puzzies after being reamed out by every caliber gun imaginable...

Stick to YOUR guns!

(Sorry for the military terminology!)

Dietzcoi

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

Always Learning,

How old are you and this chick? It all depends on your age and experience level. From what you wrote her numbers are no big deal and as you get older this situation will only get worse.