Sexual Chemistry - help!

[sacgrad]

This is my first post on this forum - hoping to find real help here vs standard language ideas on websites.

I went on a second date with this girl. We went hiking - had a great time. Although I had my opportunities to make my move, I did not - her family is orthodox jewish and I feel like shes a keeper and hence did not want to screw things up.

After the hike, we went for dinner - she says " you seem conservative".. ofcourse because I did not make my move.. explained why etc..

Anyhow, she calls after 4 days (we texted on and off in between) and said " I am attracted to you, not sure you are to me". She went on saying, " I did not feel sexual tension and not sure we have chemistry etc"

We're going on date 3 tonight.. need help in developing sexual chemistry - I would have made my typical moves on date 2 but refrained - now its coming back to bite me.

oh - a few nights ago, we texted - for 2.5 hours.. i became the plumber, painter, she became the dirty maid - etc... She said "She loved it". Trying to figure her out and do whats right tonight ..

PS - she has kids and sex / sleeping together is not an option tonight...

 

[Colossus]

As a general rule you want to at least kiss a girl by date 2, but since it's too late for that now...

I would use plenty of light kino (casual touching with a hint of sexuality), and try to maintain close proximity to each other without being awkward. Then just go for the kiss when it feels right, and if there are some sparks keep at it, if not, just chalk this one up as a learning experience and move on.

A few other tips:

Chill on the texting. It can be good to build sexual tension, but can also be over done. Leave her wanting a bit more from you. A guy who texts for 2.5 hours after 1 or 2 dates does not convey he has a lot of other options. Less is usually more.

You are making a mental mistake when you label a girl as a "keeper" by date two. You inadvertently put her on a pedestal in your mind and this will affect your attitude. The qualification process should be slow and methodical.

 

[sacgrad]

Thanks for the tips.. yes.. I think you bring up a few very good points.. realized that I need to go back to the basics a bit..
Thanks

 

[BeDJ]

When you see her on the next date, greet her with a lip kiss. She is interested in your, just fvcking do it.

 

[Tictac]

Escalate. If things are going to fast or too far, she will tell you.

The Jesuits were right - it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

 

[LorenzoVonM]

I went on a second date with this girl. We went hiking - had a great time. Although I had my opportunities to make my move, I did not - her family is orthodox jewish and I feel like shes a keeper and hence did not want to screw things up.

You have put this girl on a pedestal already and you don't know anything about her. You know she's a keeper after 2 dates? Not a good mindset to operate from. Playing it safe (i.e. not wanting to screw things up) is the probably the worst thing you could do. Each date with no escalation de-sexualizes you in her eyes. You are a man, you are supposed to want to fvck her. Although she is orthodox she is a woman and knows that on an instinctual level. Even if you made a move and she re-buffed you (which would be her programming if she was attracted to you) she would know you were a sexual threat instead of a nice guy fun friend.

Also, with putting her on a pedestal comes your scarcity mentality. You are afraid to screw things up because you might not meet someone you like as much. This will screw you if you get into relationship. She will hold all the power and you will take whatever shvt she dishes out. To become better with women, you have to be fine if they walk away. That is your greatest power as a man when dealing with a woman.

After the hike, we went for dinner - she says " you seem conservative".. ofcourse because I did not make my move.. explained why etc..

See. She wants you to bang the piss out of her. She is wondering if you are a real man that is going to rail her six ways to Sunday.

Anyhow, she calls after 4 days (we texted on and off in between) and said " I am attracted to you, not sure you are to me". She went on saying, " I did not feel sexual tension and not sure we have chemistry etc"

Again, she wants you to make a move. She is not feeling desired by you. I'm surprised she verbalized it, most girls will just fade-away.

We're going on date 3 tonight.. need help in developing sexual chemistry - I would have made my typical moves on date 2 but refrained - now its coming back to bite me.

oh - a few nights ago, we texted - for 2.5 hours.. i became the plumber, painter, she became the dirty maid - etc... She said "She loved it". Trying to figure her out and do whats right tonight ..

PS - she has kids and sex / sleeping together is not an option tonight...

You can't really develop sexual chemistry. She already said she was attracted to you so make a move, any move. Say something dirty to her, grab her ass, say you want to open the car door for her and then pin her against the car making out heavily. Just get physical however you can. The sext chat was a good warmup now don't disappoint her by playing it safe. She doesn't want you to.

 

[sacgrad]

Aright.. so she texts me Sunday - her kids are going away for a month to camp and this was last Sunday with them.. hence asking if we could move to this week.. I did not respond for a while .. she texted again " I am sorry "... I responded saying I understand it was ok - did not mention rescheduling..
She texted back - "we have to reschedule". I responded "yes we will".

Any ideas on where to take her - need ideas on intimate type dates where we could make out for a while....

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Sacgrad,
OK I'm the mean minded old prick who suggests her having children is a definite No-no...there are plenty of posts on here about this topic...you are young you will be able to pick and chose,why a Single Mummy?I can assure you her main motivation in life at this time,is not finding a Lover but a Daddy!

 

[LorenzoVonM]

Aright.. so she texts me Sunday - her kids are going away for a month to camp and this was last Sunday with them.. hence asking if we could move to this week.. I did not respond for a while .. she texted again " I am sorry "... I responded saying I understand it was ok - did not mention rescheduling..
She texted back - "we have to reschedule". I responded "yes we will".

Any ideas on where to take her - need ideas on intimate type dates where we could make out for a while....

Make dinner together at your house. Give her tasks to do like chopping and cutting. When you're in the kitchen you will have all types of opportunities to get frisky. Easy.

 

[Tictac]

Iron Rule of Tomassi #8

Always let a woman figure out why she wont ƒuck you, never do it for her.

 

[5string]

Just mount her and get it over with.

 

[sacgrad]

Thanks for everyone's suggestion. I went back to the basics - did not text this one and slept with another girl in the interim to get my mind off this one...

After not texting for ~36 hours, she texted saying if I still wanted to hang and she would love to plan a night when her kids werent at home..

I guess I should be able to pound her next time I see her... thinking a club/dancing / making out/ then heading to her house...

 

[Bokanovsky]

Dear Sacgrad,
OK I'm the mean minded old prick who suggests her having children is a definite No-no...there are plenty of posts on here about this topic...you are young you will be able to pick and chose,why a Single Mummy?I can assure you her main motivation in life at this time,is not finding a Lover but a Daddy!

I concur with the mean-minded old prick At 32, you should not be contemplating a relationship with a woman who has children. F*ck buddies maybe, but not anything serious.

 

[sacgrad]

I concur with the mean-minded old prick At 32, you should not be contemplating a relationship with a woman who has children. F*ck buddies maybe, but not anything serious.

Agree and concur.. i am not looking for a serious relationship at this point..

 

[Bokanovsky]

Agree and concur.. i am not looking for a serious relationship at this point..

You said in your original post that you felt she was a keeper. You need to make up your mind..

 

[sacgrad]

You said in your original post that you felt she was a keeper. You need to make up your mind..

I would like to date her exclusive for a while.. but nothing like a marriage (serious relationship).

 

[sacgrad]

I concur with the mean-minded old prick At 32, you should not be contemplating a relationship with a woman who has children. F*ck buddies maybe, but not anything serious.

So I dont get the sensitivity here around dating a woman with kids... it seems like I should only date women without... why?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Sacgrad,
Yes Bokanovsky is right on the FB suggestion... I was a little older than you when I first discovered single Mummies,such delight when I was working at nights to leave work early on frosty mornings,then travel across town to slip into a nice warm bed....That Mumsie smell,the pleasure of sleeping against a warm body,then a few hours sleep till she got the kids off to school....Then a little morning Delight as the Sun streams through the Window.....Back to the land of Nod till Midday,a delicious English Breakfast then it's time for a "Quickie"before I was off on my philanthropic way...Aah,Memories.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

So I dont get the sensitivity here around dating a woman with kids... it seems like I should only date women without... why?

It's just not worth it! Listen to the advice on here you will get a better perspective on woman.

Lets just say she has her 2 kids and job and herself. That makes you #5 on her priority list. The emotional baggage from her previous relationships makes it really hard as well. Hey all woman have it I know you just want to make sure they have less than you do. It's not all that fun raising other peoples children either, I learned that the hard way myself.

There are a 100 other reasons why, I'm sure someone else will post and clue you in.

2 dates and she's a keeper bro? You barely know this broad!

 

[Jules_Winfield]

There are a 100 other reasons why, I'm sure someone else will post and clue you in.

2 dates and she's a keeper bro? You barely know this broad!

I'll list what I've experienced with single mothers.

- Lack of time: By "lack of time," I mean only being able to see me 2-4 times a month. I just slept with other women and hooked up with her when she was available.

- Poor Parenting: I actually fell in love with one who wasn't good with her kid, who thought she was an adult at 5. The kid hated me, and the mother fell out of love because she knew I couldn't be the one. She pretended to still be in love until she found someone to replace me.

- Promiscuous: My second time seeing an attractive single mother, she invited me over to her place. I thought her two kids (16 and 12) were with their father for the night. Nope. They were home, and the 12-year-old had a little friend spending the night, which meant there wasn't an available bedroom for us to have privacy. She ended up wanting to have sex with me in the bathroom. I felt bad about this one and never saw her again.

- Lonely: A woman I was with once, who kept trying to guilt me into something more because she was a lonely mommy with no other prospects.

- The Ex: Last year, I met a single mother who physically was everything I could ask for. We really hit it off. I was disappointed when I heard about the divorce and 2 kids she had by 28. When we spoke on the phone, she said, "I'm really good friends with my ex. We're really close."

- The Notebook: A FWB single mother left her husband after seeing "The Notebook." She saw this movie and decided she could have a better relationship, like the one in the movie. She seemed normal to me until then.

- Keep the Frame or Else: There was a mother of two I knew for 15 years. She was a cheater who could never be alone, and was always looking for a better deal. She was a FB of mine on more than one occasion. The last time she was a FB, I maintained the frame and things went my way until I was finished with her. She was pissed and hated my guts because I basically did what she previously did to me. 3 months later she was engaged. I met the guy. I spoke to him several times and liked him. He said she was one of the two best women he's ever met. He has slept with a lot of women but doesn't know women. Last time I saw her, she was cheating on this guy with a former friend of mine.