Sex is not worth my dignity

[hopeful loner]

Can anyone tell me why "gaming women" and constantly putting yourself in a situation where a woman can turn you down isn't an undignified state? I imagine that sex might be a pleasurable activity but is it worth the price of my dignity?

 

[hopeful loner]

I mean, randomly approaching a woman whom you've never met and putting yourself at the mercy of her power like that? Oh, you can pretend that she's just a woman and there are many more like her and rationalize away the pain that comes with her saying no, but in the end of the day, the act of wanting her comes with the price of her "no" having the power to affect you deeply.

 

[Crazy Asian]

beep beep!
AFC patrol?

lol jk.

But i am definitely not at the mercy of girls when i approach.
It's a challenge to myself, to become better, to improve my skills with chicks.

I don't use any techniques (maybe cause i'm in high school), but I improve my character first. I've become more social, I've gotten a better body, I've gotten better grades, and when i talk to a girl, all that is backing me up, and I feel like i'm the sh1t. Seriously, last year, I was scared to dead just sitting next to a hot girl and not knowing what to say. Now I have no problem talking to hot girls and I attract the average ones with ease. by hot i mean 9-10, average i mean 6-8. I don't really pay attention to girls that aren't at least a bit good looking.

but really, just do what you want with your life. Just be happy and try everything.
once you've tried everything, excel at what you find interesting.
+
Have you ever tried approaching girls? it's not that bad, and it's actually fun if you're with ur friends.

 

[comic_relief]

the no only affects you as much as you let it affect you.

comic_relief

 

[Crazy Asian]

the no only affects you as much as you let it affect you.

comic_relief

yup, exactly what i was trying to say.

 

[hopeful loner]

the no only affects you as much as you let it affect you.

comic_relief

That's rubbish though. How can we have control of our feelings like that? How can you let her no not affect your dignity?

 

[KontrollerX]

Because her saying "no" and whatever she does or says or any person does or says to you should have no effect on your dignity.

Dignity should be tied to a deeply held belief in yourself.

So instead you should ask us how can we avoid being sad and having our feelings hurt by rejection.

The only way is either building your confidence so high through whichever means works for you that it really doesn't matter to hear a no or you simply have been out in the field so much and heard it as much or slightly more than yes that you've gotten a thicker skin so to speak from it ie you've built up a tolerance for rejection and its no longer anything but another meaningless word to you.

 

[LostAndConfused]

That's rubbish though. How can we have control of our feelings like that? How can you let her no not affect your dignity?

1.) Realize that alot of people here are KJ's (Keyboard Jockeys). Their whole game exists on the computer screen. I'm not saying this about anyone who posted in this thread, but if you get flamed, understand that some of the people who flame you really should have no bearing on your thoughts about this.

2.) In that same light, you should take rejection from women the same way.

The key is to build resistance. When you get rejected alot, you will begin to realize that womens' rejections don't mean ANYTHING at all.

And realistically, they don't.

Women are inferior to men. Don't take what they say seriously. Not every girl wants your man meat in them, thats just the way it is

But understand that you have to experience that for yourself.

Experience rejection. Go ahead. Let your self-esteem get the risk of being wounded.

Remember, "Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."

 

[Nygard]

I mean, randomly approaching a woman whom you've never met and putting yourself at the mercy of her power like that?

In order to learn how put her at the mercy of my own power, maybe? Or, being less malevolent, in order to have fun with her and let her have a good time with me. Being cold with everybody just leads to a colder and more boring world. Hey, if you think it hurts your dignity, just bail out and dont do it. You dont have to if you dont want.

 

[PrinceBeavis]

beep beep!
AFC patrol?

lol jk.

But i am definitely not at the mercy of girls when i approach.
It's a challenge to myself, to become better, to improve my skills with chicks.

I don't use any techniques (maybe cause i'm in high school), but I improve my character first. I've become more social, I've gotten a better body, I've gotten better grades, and when i talk to a girl, all that is backing me up, and I feel like i'm the sh1t. Seriously, last year, I was scared to dead just sitting next to a hot girl and not knowing what to say. Now I have no problem talking to hot girls and I attract the average ones with ease. by hot i mean 9-10, average i mean 6-8. I don't really pay attention to girls that aren't at least a bit good looking.

but really, just do what you want with your life. Just be happy and try everything.
once you've tried everything, excel at what you find interesting.
+
Have you ever tried approaching girls? it's not that bad, and it's actually fun if you're with ur friends.

Excellent post.

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

Can anyone tell me why "gaming women" and constantly putting yourself in a situation where a woman can turn you down isn't an undignified state? I imagine that sex might be a pleasurable activity but is it worth the price of my dignity?

if this is your way of thinking you will never have a gf/never have a wife because you are afraid to get rejected. This is the way the game works unfortunately we approach and women give the approval/rejection. If it was the other way around that would be heaven, but as we all know first we go to hell before we get to heaven (hell being life)

 

[DonJuan11]

How can we have control of our feelings like that? How can you let her no not affect your dignity?

So every girl you like is supposed to say "I won't say no to you because it will affect your dignity and because it will affect your dignity, I will allow you to see me without my clothes on and sleep with me".

 

[Obsidian]

In some ways you are right, but in one way you are wrong. You are wrong, in that rejection itself has nothing to do with your dignity. You make an offer and you get turned down. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, and it doesn't devalue you as a human being whatsoever. (If you're around other people, some haters may laugh at you, but that's because they just don't really understand reality themselves.) Once you have some experience, you will learn to ignore the haters and better realize that rejection means nothing. Rejection is simply a manifestation of the fact that not every man and woman are compatible. Even the greatest, most attractive man on the planet will get rejected by some girls -- because they are looking for something different.

On the other hand, propositioning random girls for sex does devalue you somewhat. You should approach every girl with the idea of testing her for characteristics that you want in a woman; you don't approach her with the idea of impressing her and putting on a show for her. If you don't qualify your women, then yeah, I think that does lower your dignity quite a bit.

 

[The Deacon]

In some ways you are right, but in one way you are wrong. You are wrong, in that rejection itself has nothing to do with your dignity. You make an offer and you get turned down. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, and it doesn't devalue you as a human being whatsoever. (If you're around other people, some haters may laugh at you, but that's because they just don't really understand reality themselves.) Once you have some experience, you will learn to ignore the haters and better realize that rejection means nothing. Rejection is simply a manifestation of the fact that not every man and woman are compatible. Even the greatest, most attractive man on the planet will get rejected by some girls -- because they are looking for something different.

Nicely said.

hopeful loner, you have to decide for yourself what dignity means to you. If you judge your self-worth based on what girl rejects you and what girl accepts you, you're in for a world of pain. You don't have to be the smartest, richest, or even the best-looking guy around, but you must be comfortable with yourself. If you're truly comfortable with yourself, you won't really take a blow to your self-esteem if a girl blows you off. It happens to all of us.

Sure, being "comfortable with yourself" by itself doesn't get you girls, but it makes the whole process a lot less painful than it is for most guys.

Basically, if you re-frame the situation at hand, you'll realize that trying to pull a girl does not really put you at risk of losing your dignity. No offense, but how much dignity do you really have if you're a 45 year old virgin? You need to get out of your head and into the game.

 

[DonutMan]

Yes, Its worth the price of your dignity.

 

[DonutMan]

This is something that can affect every aspect of your life. I say this because not doing something because you are worried you are going to get rejected can be very self destructive. I have had this avoidance attitude in other areas of my life, and I am just now at 25 starting to learn how to put myself out there to try to get what I want. This isn't just with girls either, im talking about Jobs/school/whatever else you want in life...

 

[Mr. Ballz]

Improvements while approaching:
1. confidence
2. social skills and always feeling 'on'
3. more lively life

I like challenges and cant stand not pushing myself to improve. I dont do it for the ladies as much as I am enjoying the feeling/rush. Simply, its more fun than not.

 

[Snow Plowman]

Can anyone tell me why "gaming women" and constantly putting yourself in a situation where a woman can turn you down isn't an undignified state? I imagine that sex might be a pleasurable activity but is it worth the price of my dignity?

People like this is always at the mercy of other people. Meaning other people can dictate your identity for you and you easily give your power away.

Rejection doesn't affect people who know who they are and what they are about. When you truly know this getting rejected has no affect on you. Also it really comes down to your state of mind.

For me I'm coming from the frame as a social scientist, I'm just testing stuff out to see what happens, this is how I learn the game. On the other hand I enjoy chatting people up and fuking with the world so when I'm talking to women I'm actually having fun messing with them.

You need to truly know what your are offering to the world in order to project your identity with authenticity. Think about when you hit 40, how could a little sexy 19 year old have any affect on you.

Do people dictate your identity or do you dictate your own identity. So what if a chick rejects you it's not the end of the world.

 

[mintxx]

DOn't think of it as approaching girls. just see which ones you vibe with and they'll give you opportunities, it's a matter of spotting them.

edit - a girl can't say no if you don't ask her for anything

 

[hopeful loner]

The impression that many give here is that alpha maleness can be taught. I don't believe the case, and making many fools think they can force themselves to exude alpha male qualities is setting them up for a world of confusion and pain.

As I said, the price of approaching/wanting women is the import which one must inescapably give to their "no." The "game" as we play it today is all wrong because it ironically puts women on the same pedestal which we're pretending to knock them down from. Here we are hustling, thinking and given considerable amount of time to the question of women. Is it really worth it?