Settling for less is a default

[reset]

No not necessarily about women, but substitute a bad work situation for a bad relationship.

A dude I have worked with for a few years is leaving, I'm glad for him. He got a job in a different part of the state, doing pretty close to what he WANTS to do, basically be outdoors and go camping and hiking and all that stuff. Somehow he managed to get a job where he is in the industry of his hobby/passion, which is great.

I personally have been looking, and I'm sure something good will happen to me too. But what I find interesting is the reaction him leaving got.

"Yeah well a job is a job so he'll start hating it soon enough."

"Yeah I've had dream jobs myself--doesn't last long. All jobs are the same."

"Uh--it's a JOB. Not play. It's called work for a reason."

"Let's see how he feels after the 'honeymoon' is over."

Oh my f'ing god.

People settle so much. I have heard from people "you know, you think your job sucks but believe me it's WORSE EVERYWHERE ELSE so just be grateful. ALL PEOPLE HATE THEIR JOBS. YOU DON'T GET PAID TO DO WHAT YOU LOVE BUT TO WORK HARD."

Of course, I have said the same things to MYSELF, and have thrown away opportunities and dreams because I wanted to hold onto what I had, and because I believed the grass was BROWNER on the other side.

I guess I'm getting out of that mindset. People limit themselves so much. They don't believe they can live their dreams. That it's work, or dreams. It's really sad.

And it's the mindset I've had for years and years.

 

[Nelford]

I get what you are saying and I done the same things for years until I decided that I will be a part-time personal trainer and if it exceeds what I am making at my full-time job I will leave my government job.

You only have one life to live

 

[guru1000]

No Risk, No Reward.

Life pays you what you demand of it.

 

[reset]

You only have one life to live

Yes and damn I'm getting tired of making excuses to not live it. What is the WORST that can happen.

Life pays you what you demand of it.

Good way to look at it. People would rather talk themselves out of change.

And how much RISK is it really? Fire? Famine? War? What BAD is going to HAPPEN to you if you choose abundance.

 

[The Bat]

Most people fail to realize that you spend roughly 1/3 of your lifetime working. Think about it. You spend 40 hours a week doing something within your profession working with roughly the same people. 40 hours a week. I can't make that any more dramatic. I can't even IMAGINE the mental state that I'd be in if I got stuck doing something that I hated for 40 hours a week for half of my lifetime.

I think it's important for a DJ to work out his career/professional problems FIRST rather than women. At least, be on a path to doing something that you are passionate at. Don't let your career define you....you MUST define your career.

Don't wake up every morning and go, "Ugh...another Monday!" It should be more like, "YES!!! Monday is finally here. I can't wait to go and do...and meet...and learn...".

I was never a fan of the term "getaway vacation". What are you "getting away" from when you take one of these vacations? Getting away from your work, your colleagues, your niche? Well guess what...after that one week in Hawaii, you're going to be right back into the old lifestyle. The only thing different will be that you have about a week worth of work to catch up on. It's a vicious cycle. It will never end.

Unless you do something that you're very passionate about.

And yes, I agree, rest. Settling for less is default. Settling for easy is default. Settling for money is default. Settling for comfort is default. Settling for that HDTV is default. Settling for a nice backyard and the fence is default. Settling for the death of your soul in exchange for security of everyday is default.

 

[guru1000]

:yes:

Your only downside is Regret.

I would rather fail and pick myself up than regret trying. At the end of the day, the most satisfying feeling is that you exhausted all your resources.

What I fear most is not exercising my Untapped Potential.

 

[reset]

Even if you don't love your job and want to work on your passion, then work on your passion when you can do your best and expect the best. I believe if you feel something that you are dying to do, there's a good chance you should be going in that direction, like Interceptor says I think it's your highest self trying to get your attention.

No wonder there are so many zombies--work as a slave, come home watch tv, have some beer, go to bed. Sounds familiar. Then when you desire change--talk yourself out of it and say "no let's STAY LIKE THIS!".

Its' so obvious when you look at it objectively like this but when you're caught up with it it just sort of happens and then you're old and it's too late.

At 31 for me I feel I still have some time but it's put up or shut up time. I either take my dreams seriously or live in regret for the rest of my life.

 

[guru1000]

Then when you desire change--talk yourself out of it and say "no let's STAY LIKE THIS!".

This is exactly where Cognitive Dissonance is the enemy. Your GUT needs to align with your new found belief.

This belief being you are BETTER than this, DESERVE more and will not SETTLE for less. This requires true PARADIGM implementation.

Who are you and what are you worth?

 

[reset]

This is exactly where Cognitive Dissonance is the enemy. Your GUT needs to align with your new found belief.

This belief being you are BETTER than this, DESERVE more and will not SETTLE for less. This requires true PARADIGM implementation.

Who are you and what are you worth?

True. What I have been noticing (like in the last few months, lol) is that I have defined myself, to myself (in my own mind) based on my perception, of how others would perceive me... but of course can't escape that it's actually MY perception. In my head.

"I'm 31. That's tool old to start over. I'm supposed to XYZ at this point in my life."

This applies to my passions, how I think I'm SUPPOSED to be at regarding my game with women, the things I should be spending my time on, etc.

All based on some standard that I created in my own head, in order for me to mentally fit into this lifestyle/identity that I have created for myself. Several chances not taken based on how I would be perceived by others, yet it's always me perceiving it. It doesn't really make sense when I type it out does it.

You set your OWN standards of how you live. I know exactly what the "lives of quiet desperation" means, because I lived it. Like there's all these montsers in the dark in my room but I turn the light on and realize there's nothing there.

I feel like I'm discovering something that people have known forever. Oh well. I've been taking what Interceptor and you guys have said seriously, especially regarding ego.

I always thought life was meant to be hard, to be a struggle, and that's that. So that's what I got. I can sense I may actually start to enjoy my life. Even with this cognitive dissonance, I'll just keep battling it.

Ok I'll shut up now, lol.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

You will only get what you have gotten if you keep doing what you've done.

 

[joekerr31]

heres the thing. the comments people were telling you are true.

there is no such thing as a dream job - its a FALLACY. but let me explain. if you do ANYTHING for 40-60 hours a week its going to wear on your nerves. maybe not the first week, but by week 50 it will. If you had to f*ck pamela anderson for 50 hours a week you'd get sick of it eventually.

this is why the key in life is not so much in finding your DREAM job, but rather in having a DREAM attitude.

being jazzed and pumped is an ATTITUDE.

if you expect your job or wife to get you pumped up, then you're in for a surprise. Both those things, as well as many other things (new car, house, vacation, etc.), all become LESS interesting as time goes on.

Only YOU can pump yourself up. its ALL attitude man. 100% attitude.

when i wake up I don't tell myself 'uhhh time to go to work'. I wake up and think 'time to live another day!"

now, i happen to like my job all and all - but trust me, its got a TON of headaches to it IF you have the wrong attitude about it.

99.9999% of peopel have the WRONG attitude. if you are lucky you might come across 20-40 people in your whole life who have the RIGHT attitude.

 

[reset]

I agree with you--you can't expect some circustance to literally MAKE you happy. The people in my example, no they don't have that right attitude. I didn't have it. What they have in common is not believing there is something better for them out there. Totally resigned. Master/slave mentality, and no one realizes they have choices.

Strangely, as my attitude changes, the job doesn't bug me as much--it's not the prison I had made it into. I told myself I couldn't start living until I had a different job---which was the WRONG attitude.

I am still looking. Still applying. But I don't have the same sense of desperation, that I used to have. It was like my life was on pause, as long as I had the job. I would get up every day like I was going to hell. I don't know where I got the notion that the environment I happened to be in that day, completely defined my life. I let the actions of my "boss" basically dictate how I feel about myself. I chose to have the actions of other people define the world I lived in.

"As soon as I get a new job I will give myself permission to have a life, and to do the things I love. But until then I'm just going to suffer and bytch about my circumstance." WHY I thought that way, I have no clue. It's what I'm used to. But it doesn't really make sense to me anymore. Being that way tends to keep you STUCK. Maybe I'm getting a little stronger inside, and am more able to handle my day to day life without feeling like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Still adjusting to that.


Accepting for the time being, that it is the situation, has taken much of the stress away. And in a weird way, it's actually freed up some energy for me. As I choose the course I want my life to follow, where I may be TODAY doesn't seem so horrible. Maybe that's part of seeing life as a journey and not the destination.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Reset,
In the late eighties a bloke called Vance Packard wrote a book about "Ultra Millionaires" chaps who had made squillions,the only real common denominator:they all enjoyed what they were doing,work wasn't work but play!!!

 

[My Name is Nobody]

It's time to look for a new job. How are you going to pursue your dreams? Dreams are expensive and I've got bills to pay.

 

[MikeEdward1973]

The people around your friend who left would like to engage in schadenfreude:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude

This is the act of being happy over the misfortune of others. People who do this are very rarely happy or successful themselves.

They are jealous because he is not like them. That you can see this weakness in them is very important. Their comments are unimportant, and reveal them to be petty and weak.

 

[slaog]

Dear Reset,
In the late eighties a bloke called Vance Packard wrote a book about "Ultra Millionaires" chaps who had made squillions,the only real common denominator:they all enjoyed what they were doing,work wasn't work but play!!!

And i bet the reason they liked doing what they did was because they had goals and they viewed it as being part of a journey to the goal.

Another way of looking at it is view it like a game. Every time you make money see it as being a victory or a stepping stone to better things!