Setting up 2nd date: Ask or demand?

[8ball]

I've read several excellent threads stating that you should never ask a woman for something, but always demand it. ( Not in an obnoxious way, of course. )

I'm setting up a 2nd date tonight and I'm thinking the phone call should go along these lines:

Me <playful tone>:'What's up? Come out w/ me this Saturday. We'll have a couple of beers and shoot pool.'

[ That's not really asking..there is no question in the above sentence.]

Or should I formally ask:

Me <cheerful, laid back>:I'm thinking we could hook up Saturday. Would you like to go out, have a couple of beers and shoot pool?

The difference is subtle...or.is there any difference at all? Does it even matter? They say the devil is in the details.

I want to convey confidence. Coming across as I assume the answer will be yes and all that's left is to nail down the time is different than asking if she'd like to go out in the first place.

Anybody have any thoughts on this? Am just over thinking this?

 

[TheManiac]

I used to do the same thing and plan out Exactly what I was goin to say when I was gonna ask a girl out, but ive learned that if you practice it less and just get a general attitude and feel for what youre gonna say as opposed to the exact words then it comes off as more natural. "Hey Im goin (Cheers/Coyote Ugly/wherever) and you should come along" or "we should go here" are the basic molds that I use and I try to choose words that make it sound light and not anything dramatic and keep a positive, light tone with maybe even the hint of a laugh like you arent even thinking about what youre asking her and it was just the natural thing to do.

 

[silverwex]

The first choice was the better one IMO.

'What's up? Come out w/ me this Saturday. We'll have a couple of beers and shoot pool.

But ya gotta say it in a confident yet playful manner.

Keep us posted on what happens...

 

[Kodiac]

Yeah, just keep it cheerfull.. i tried the same thing once and maybe i didn't sound cheerfull enough over the phone - although i was smiling! hehe ..she didn't like "being told what to do!!!"
Oopsy

 

[digitalrat]

I did the same thing for July 4th. Called her on July 3rd and it went like this.

"Hey, listen, if you have plans for tomarrow night, cancel them. We're going to Ft.Lauderdale to watch fireworks."

"Reaalllly?"

"Yeah, be ready by 7:30"

"Alright"

"Later"

 

[8ball]

My DJ skills on first date caused her to wreck her car!

LOL..well, not really..but kinda..I called her to set up second date and here's how it went..any comments/insights/suggestions would be most welcome.

Me:<cheerful, upbeat> Hey!What's up? How's your week going so far?

Her:<nervous, flustered> Uh..Hi! Good! How's yours going? Mines been kinda boring.

Me:<laugh> Oh yeah? My weeks going fine. I'm still alive..that's always a plus. Hey, you comin' out this weekend?

Her:<downtrodden,forlorn> I dont' know.

Me: You don't know?

Her:<halting, flustered [I'm starting to think something's wrong here]>My parents are going out of town and I have to watch the pets.

Me:<OMFG::rolls eyes>That's amazing! You watch the pets 24/7 around the clock and can't get out for a couple of hours? Wow.

Her:<whining>Well, they'll be gone for a whole week.

[[ At this point, I'm thinking..'Well, sh1t..this one's a lost cause.' Anyway...]]

Me:<I just lay it out>Hey..I can do Saturday evening or Sunday afternoon. What can you do?

Her:<serious>I think Sunday afternoon is better.

Me:<upbeat,cheerful>Great! I'll see you at <xxx> at 3:00. We'll have a couple of beers. You sound like you could use one, why are you so stressed?

Her:<a little more cheerful>That sounds good. Oh,I got in an accident after our date Sunday. I ran into another guy trying to get on the highway.

Me:<WTF???>Oh my god! Are you serious??

[[ She was serious! Anyway, we chatted a couple minutes longer and I once again confirmed the date. She sounded like was excited to go, but this convo is kinda hard to read. Why was she so flustered? She came across as very nervous and unsure of herself. Is this a good or bad thing? ]]

Anyway, so I'm tenatively locked in for a second date, but I'm guessing she'll use the 'pet excuse' to flake in some fashion.

Anybody else think so?

 

[STR8UP]

Getting a woman to go out with you is NO DIFFERENT that closing a sale with a prospective customer. Don't let anyone tell you different.

I do the same with women that I do with customers. I don't offer them the option to say no. Of course they are free to choose whether or not to buy what I'm selling, but if I ask them a question that requires a yes or no answer, most of the time the answer will be NO.

With a customer I always assume he is planning on buying my product. I BRING HIM THE CART before he's finished asking questions. If he has high interest in my product, I ask if he wants it in blue or in green. If he is sitting on the fence about something, I grab the product off the shelf and proceed to the register. Works 100% of the time. ALWAYS ASSUME THE SALE WILL BE MADE.

With women it's the same. Always assume she WANTS to go with you. Word your pitch accordingly.

Instead of, "Would you like to go out with me Thursday night?", you say, "What time do you get off work Thursday?" When she answers you say, "Great, meet me at my place at 8:30...we'll go have a drink".

Nothing obnoxious or rude there. It simply doesn't give an "easy" way out.

You would be surprised at how powerful such a subtle change in delivery can be.

 

[flyjesta81]

maybe say " hey lets go play pool and drink a few beers sat nite"

 

[Bonhomme]

I was going to say "neither" ...

But the first option, if delivered properly, is not really a demand.

I also like to toss the idea out with a certain level of presumption.