Set her straight or let her go....

[Evan_M]

Ok I've been casually emailing this girl. It's an online dating thing BTW. We have stuff in common but she's slow as molasses to respond, like taking a week between emails. Her last excuse was a migraine that lasted a week. I did a google search on her screen name and found some of her postings on a dating forum. Turns out she's seeing three other dudes right now. More power to her, right?

Anyway I want to tell her that I know all about her serial dating lifestyle and basically close things out.

So what do you guys recommend? Do I just let her go regardless if she emails me back or do I call her on her act. BTW I have other online leads but was interested in getting to know this girl more because I thought we had more in common. Yeah kind of AFC but I'm fully aware of it which is better than not being.

 

[Phyzzle]

I've been casually emailing this girl . . .
I want to tell her that I know all about her serial dating lifestyle and basically close things out.

Why close out anything? Why is her dating lifestyle any of your business? You're just casually chatting to her.

 

[amoka]

hit or run boy.... why did you even have to spend time researching on her background anyway? I hope you're not looking for "future-partner" in this girl.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Anyway I want to tell her that I know all about her serial dating lifestyle and basically close things out...

Why do you want to tell her that?

 

[joekerr31]

you are in a lose lose situation. she's spinning plates, you can't get the upper hand on someone spinning plates as they have low vested interest to start with.

unless you want to try to win this girl over, i suggest you just cut all contact.

i mean, forget all the guys shes seeing, that's secondary. her week delay in responding ot your email tells you that shes got low interest. who cares what her excuse is, migraine, cramps, diarhea, she's been busy cooking omlettes, whatever.

if you dont like her behavior you don't have to ask her why shes behaving this way. WHY doesnt matter. all that matters is whether its acceptable to you or not.

if its not then move on. you don't have to even explain why you are moving on. just cut loose nad forget she ever existed.

DO NOT waste a second of your life on ANY woman that brings you down instead of lifts you up.

 

[Evan_M]

Thanks Joe,

She's not bringing me down. However she is frustrating me. Maybe that's the same thing. Part of me though wants to prove that I can get a date with this girl. It goes back to wanting what you can't have. However writing emails like a penpal is no way to go about getting it. I did already ask for her phone number but she's beating around the bush about it.

You're right though, her interest level just isn't there. She's friendly and all that but... With other online girls, if their interest is there, I can get a phone number within a couple of emails.

 

[joekerr31]

i bet you can't shove a football up your *ss.

just becuase i told you that you can't shove a football up your *ss does that mean you are now going to try to shove it up your *ss?

no, it doesn't. it doesn't fit and its going to hurt trying to do it. so logically, you simply say "sorry joe, that ain't goign to work, so whats your next suggestion?"

when a woman shows all the signs that she ain't a fit for you and you are just going to end up geting hurt, why bother still trying to shove her up your *ss (you know what i mean).

walking away from a woman doesn't make you any less of a man, a lot of hte time it makes you smart.

but for some reason a lot of guys think if they just try hard enough and grin and bear it long enough that that football will somehow fit in their *ss.

:crackup:

 

[Bronxtal112]

Ok I've been casually emailing this girl. It's an online dating thing BTW. We have stuff in common but she's slow as molasses to respond, like taking a week between emails. Her last excuse was a migraine that lasted a week. I did a google search on her screen name and found some of her postings on a dating forum. Turns out she's seeing three other dudes right now. More power to her, right?

Anyway I want to tell her that I know all about her serial dating lifestyle and basically close things out.

So what do you guys recommend? Do I just let her go regardless if she emails me back or do I call her on her act. BTW I have other online leads but was interested in getting to know this girl more because I thought we had more in common. Yeah kind of AFC but I'm fully aware of it which is better than not being.

Have you two met in person? I wouldnt stress/worry about her dating other people or her behavior just yet. Is it possible to set up a date?

Remember if a girl is just semi cute and is doing the online dating thing - she will probably recieve 20 emails a day from men wanting to date her.

 

[Evan_M]

No we haven't met in person. Because of her slow responses and general flakeyness I don't forsee any real dating potential. It's just one of those situations that you keep thinking about. The best cure of course is to spin some plates for myself which I'm attempting. Like you say though, any semi-cute girl doing the online thing gets swamped by guys. Best bet of course is to meet them in real life.

 

[NewMan]

The fact that you have not even meet her speaks volumes.

you shouldn't even have time to be thinking of researching someone.

You need other women your working on.

 

[Evan_M]

The fact that you have not even meet her speaks volumes.

you shouldn't even have time to be thinking of researching someone.

You need other women your working on.

Researching is part of the fun though. I agree I need more women though. The sole root of the problem right there.

 

[Albion10]

Thanks Joe,

She's not bringing me down. However she is frustrating me. Maybe that's the same thing. Part of me though wants to prove that I can get a date with this girl. It goes back to wanting what you can't have. However writing emails like a penpal is no way to go about getting it. I did already ask for her phone number but she's beating around the bush about it.

You're right though, her interest level just isn't there. She's friendly and all that but... With other online girls, if their interest is there, I can get a phone number within a couple of emails.

I'd just say, "Hey, I'm interested in you, but I feel as though I am wasting my time. If you'd like to take this to another level then let me know, otherwise it's been nice knowing ya."

There are 3.25 billion women in the world to talk to, why waste your time with one that's obviously a waste of time?

NEXT!

-Al

 

[That_Guy81]

No we haven't met in person. Because of her slow responses and general flakeyness I don't forsee any real dating potential. It's just one of those situations that you keep thinking about. The best cure of course is to spin some plates for myself which I'm attempting. Like you say though, any semi-cute girl doing the online thing gets swamped by guys. Best bet of course is to meet them in real life.

nothing pisses me off more than flakey women.......I will seise all contact when my "flake" radar goes off. I suggest you do the same there are just to many women out there for you to get all wrapped up into someone that doesnt show you the respect you show her. I can tell you are pretty into this one because you did a google search on here name interesting but scary at the same time

 

[Vulpine]

How about this:

Set her straight BY letting her go.

You're the prize, buddy-boy.

 

[Evan_M]

nothing pisses me off more than flakey women.......I will seise all contact when my "flake" radar goes off.

I feel the same. My problem is that strangely I'm attracted to flakey chicks. I think that's the problem a lot of guys have. We know the flakey ones aren't worth it but at the same time they pose a challenge of sorts. Heck, this forum wouldn't exist if we could easily eliminate all of the flakey chicks from our lives.

 

[Vulpine]

My problem is that strangely I'm attracted to flakey chicks. I think that's the problem a lot of guys have.

Ah, your thinking is a bit distorted here. All you need is a b!tchslap to shake some of the extra verbage out of your thinking.

*SMACK*

............. I'm attracted to ........ chicks. I think that's the problem a lot of guys have.

Ahhh.... better.

Nah, you need another.

*SMACK*

......the flakey ones aren't worth it....... The most important thing is not to become desperate.....which is what I'm (read: I am)..... with this girl. I know her situation ......... she was complaining about those other guys ........ I know that's what girls do ...........

Poor Evan.
You're her girlfriend.
You're her emotional tampon.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.

:kick:

Too much investment, not enough return. Get ahold of yourself.

Oh, you edited your post as to not look like a douche? Too late.

 

[decades]

Let's not sugarcoat this and say you enjoy chasing flakes. The reality is you're attracted to unavailable women. That's something that may plague you for a good long while. best take a look at that my friend. notice your behavior and learn from it. that's what its there for. you can't just detach and move on. And this is just EMAIL! learn to stay detached. learn to be the prize. Try and discover why you are attracted to Unavailable women. Learn then act.

regards

 

[Slickster]

The score:

Flakey Chick: 1

EvanM: 0

You lost. Now forget about it and move on.

Every word you type about this chick sends you further into the depths of chumpdom.

Shut up. Grab the rope. Start pulling yourself out.

 

[Latinoman]

Some observations:

1- You try to justify things a little bit too much from saying that you feel attraction for flakey women to justifying your AFC behavior using the "but I'm fully aware of it which is better than not being".

2- She "met" you via the internet. I would have SERIOUS questions of women that don't behave flakey with Internet guys. For all she knows, you are some pervert. So, women have to show lot of precautions.

3- Are you isolated somewhere (e.g. Diego Garcia, Iraq, Alaska, etc.) that there is a need that must go and solely approach ON-LINE women? OR are you trying to hide some social/physical/personal deficiency that a woman in "Real Life" could easily detect?


4- "Researching is part of the fun though." Really? This is not a School Paper. This is not a Thesis. And UNLESS you are performing some social research/experiments (I did that in the past too -and NEVER with the intention of getting laid-) with the solely purpose of understanding On-Line behavior...then you are wasting your time.

Dude...work on your self esteem. Go out and meet REAL LIFE people (not necessary women).