Seriously no matter how hard Ive tried, I CANT GET A CHICK

[Bilogomja]

Im excruciatingly pissed right now, but its like no matter how hard I try, I cant get a girl. I just urks me when I see some dude with some hot chick, thinking, "man, youre not gonna get that." Ok to put it in simple terms Im a first year college student. I work out, so im in pretty good shape, i know im at least decent looking, I think Im well rounded, etc. but the one thing that I want but have never gotten is a girl. Its rediculous. I mean Ive been reading tips and whatnot from this site trying to utilize them for over the past two months, ive been making some progress but not enough (reading especially Pook's stuff). I hate it, its like i see a chick who I know is giving me signs, I go up to her, talk to her, and boom! Shes no longer interested in me. I know its that thing where we need to be a challenge, maybe im just acting to desperate. But seriously, for the past few years, thats all ive been thinking about is trying to get a girl. I cant get them out of my head, yet at the same time, I cant get them at all. it just pisses me off. I try with this girl, that girl, etc. and I come up empty handed. I felt like friggin giving up by the end of today. anyways, maybe you fellow don juaners could offer some encouragement for me, because Im depressed and fuming at the same time.

 

[DJ_Dork]

how about the dj bible before you whine like a little boy to us?

 

[Bilogomja]

thanks for the advice pal...

 

[Seraph]

You're trying too hard, to be honest. If you find other things to do with your life besides worrying about this guy with a hot girl or that guy with a hot girl, they'll come. For instance, I was mad I couldn't get a girl throughout most of highschool as well. I got the looks, but acted like an AFC. The second I stopped caring about getting a girlfriend (and I don't mean, lying to yourself and sighing everytime a girl passes you by) I got one. Sure, it might take time, and they usually come out of nowhere, but if you have other things to do in your life, having a girlfriend won't be such a big deal.

Do you have any passions in life? A sport, an art, some talent that you love to use? Go with it, and do more things in your life. Start to actually live your life, and put yourself and your other desires ahead of the want for a girlfriend.

-Anything you've always wanted to try? Skydiving, bungeejumping?

-Anywhere you've always wanted to go?

-A language you always wanted to learn, but thought you didn't have enough time to do?

No matter what you read here, the journey has to start with you. You yourself, have to want to improve your current life, you have to want to get past this stage of " wishing you had a girl ". There is no magic cure to get a girl, just stop putting them so high on your priority list and focus on other things. They'll come in due time.

EDIT: I can't spell, thank god for the EDIT button

 

[Wacky-1]

OK, dude...

I can understand where you're coming from. I was once like you. But hey, listen, everyone grows out of it. Your problem is that you're too NEEDY. Why do you NEED a chick? Sure, by all means, it's natural to want a chick, but judging from your post, you are indeed trying too hard, and coming across as desperate. I'd advise you to SLOW DOWN a bit. And chill. Who cares if a girl rejects you? You learn from it. Just relax and let it flow. Don' be so uptight about, "Uhh I said XXXX, now what am I gonna do" etc.
Just relax, go with the flow. I also recommend you go through the bootcamp. It will help, believe me.

 

[blue17]

just go out with friends, get interested in hobbies....do SOMETHING. As an example, i was sort of thinking about this one girl who i had some complications with a while ago and it was sort of getting me down. Some friends of mine called me up and we wen't out on the town, then met up with some people and lots of interesting things happened. By the time I got home, (i had also gone out during the day) i realized "hey I haven't even thought about that stupid chick the entire day" and now i feel much better. It might be a temporary fix, but if you are constantly busy with stuff and doing other things....girls will come to you easier and you won't come across as desperate. That's the biggest piece of advice I can give.

 

[Heizen]

Originally posted by fuzzx
use www.meetup.com and meet new people!!!
Get interested in everything thats going on in the college!
Go volunteer some of your time somewhere
Above all ( I can't reccomend this enough ) take the TESOL program and run with it! [www.globaltesol.com]

DONT.

These kinds of online things are just a crutch for a weakness.

 

[Seizing The Day]

Hi Bilogomja

I don't think you're really whining..........just frustrated. I understand.

You know, attratction is a funny thing. Some pretty great minds have tried to pin it down with little success.

I can tell you this much, from years of experience..........if what you're projecting "looks wise" isn't working, then try something else.

I can't even begin to tell you how many guys I've advised over the years on this subject............I'm pleased to say that without exception, every one of those guys started seeing dramatic improvements in their love lives.

I know most fellows here don't really want to hear this, but a mans appearance is STILL the #1 factor in attraction.

I know, we've all seen the doofus dork with a gorgeous 10, but lets be honest...........it's rare.

Looks and good fashion are a prime confidence ingredient.

ALWAYS remember the two cardinal rules when venturing forth to meet women.......

1. If a woman finds a man attractive, there is very little he can do wrong, at least initially

2. If a woman does not find a man attractive, there is very little he can do right

I admit it can be fairly tough trying to find out what any particular female finds attractive, but a few items have stood the test of time.........

A hard, well honed body
Good, straight teeth
Nice fashion sense, well dressed
Well groomed, clean

Go to a few clothing stores and find a young salesgirl to help you pick some threads. I assure you, they're very willing.

Maybe change your hairstyle, get an earing.

If you wear glasses, try contacts. If you use contacts or don't need them, get non prescription glasses

The point is..........CHANGE. Because whatever it is that you're now projecting isn't working.

Women are masters at this stuff. From the time they're little girls, they study beauty and appearance.

As most women tend to underrate their appearance, most men tend to overrate their own.

Hope this helps............good luck!

 

[mahon83050]

Originally posted by Heizen
DONT.

These kinds of online things are just a crutch for a weakness.

How do you figure it is a weakness? It is not a dating service, where you some AFC's solely rely on it. I think this is a great website to meet people who share the same interests as you...I am glad I found it. Who knows, you can make a new guy friend, who knows some chick, who has some hot chick friends. I have come to realize alof of success in life (jobs, meeting girls) is all about NETWORKING!!!

When you go out to a bar (I know you have not yet, since you are only 17) and see couples in there.....Do you think they met at the bar....the answer is most likely NO!!! They probably met at work or through a mutual friend.

 

[Heizen]

I probably should click the link before I jump to conclusions, shouldnt I

What can I say, it has been suggested before.

 

[Omega]

Baton Rouge Bondage (Gay Teens) Meetup Group
Gay Teens Meetup Group No. 112
Meet other local Gay Teens, who have a thing for bondage or a paticular fetish, males only, and maybe find someone who can provide support, companionship, and experience sharing.


Wow, they really do have EVERYTHING.

 

[Viking25]

I feel about the same Bilogomja...I just cant score!!!..What i do is keeping a log of aproaches....I figure by the time I get to approach# 50..I should be able to get some. I dont know about that BS "you'll find when you stop looking"...I dont believe in that...

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Cut-back on approaching and focus more on your convo's.

Don't expect women to through themselves at you unless your super-paid or really attractive.


Put in the work,conquer her emotionally. Be more patient,keep your d1ck in your pants and court her the regular way.

 

[cannibustacap]

I am glad you made this thread. I believe everyone who became great at some point went through this phase. This is a phase where you are at your low. Nothing seems to work and then you begin to analyze your life. You start to see your own answers.

Great posters like Pook, Mr. Fingers, Anti-Dump, and even David DeAngelo open your eyes to this new world. But to really change it starts with you. And ONLY you. Let the TRUE change begin now.

Right now I am probably at the exact point you are at. I chat with a lot of girls, I usually miss critical moments (which it sounds like you miss too when you say they show interest but after awhile they turn away). But I am certain I will learn and become a true DJ. Notice, I am not confident I will be a DJ. Confidence is sh!t -- it means there is a risk in all situations. There is NO risk. There is no worst outcome, you just learn and move on. You must be certain there is no bad outcome.

You need to keep improving. When guys say "stop caring or worrying" its a lot easier said than done. But the truth is, you need to stop worrying about outcomes ALWAYS view a situation as positive learning experience (whether you get a fùck close or a cold-shoulder).

So you think back and realize that maybe you missed a critical moment or said something canned that didn't go right. There is a difference between over thinking and analyzing. Over thinking is the thought "Oh god... there is something wrong with ME. I think it was the way I moved my eye-brows and the way I said 'hi'"

This is NOT the right thought ever EVER! The thought should be, how can I improve and learn from my mistakes.

No matter how bad the situation's outcome is, there is always a positive side: you learned a lesson. Or, a girl who rejected you turned out to be a drama queen or some emotional sponge, etc etc. Either way it is good.

Learn and understand ALL the techniques and mold it into yourself -- till you feel VERY comfortable in your skin. Till you say to yourself "I do NOT want to be anybody else but me. No, not even Snoop Dog or Ron Jeremy. I am happiest with myself"

So you are absorbing all the great literature on DJB but you force yourself to go out and test your new knowledge on the playing field. Keep evolving. Sooner or later you will find yourself where you want to be.

Don't let the depression you feel bring you down. Make it bring you HIGHER up! Let it fuel your motivation! Because you KNOW that those who never give up always come out on top.

Read "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill. Understand that where you are is a GOOD point. A vital point for all the GREATS. You MUST not give up now. IT IS CRITICAL that you do not give up. Even if it still gets worse, don't give up. You will come out on top, just keep learning and evolving.

One day you will look back at these VERY moments and be so proud of yourself. You overcame the depression and are now sitting on top of the world!

 

[Bonhomme]

The Road

The road from AFC to Don Juan is a long one, and every one of us hits some bumps along the way.

STD and cannibustacap have the right idea here. First you have to work on your image, style, and simply develop yourself into the best man you can be. Work on the other things, such as convo, humor, etc., but remember this:

1) You have to attract a woman to you to have a chance with her.

2) Once you've attracted her, you have to either signal and approach her or simply catch her "buying signals." Believe me, if you do a good enough job of #1, you'll get them, though they may be subtle as a bit of lingering eye contact or a little smile. Usually gals will telegraph their interest, unless they're very, very shy. It's up to you to pick it up from there.

3) Then you dance with her, have a conversation (mostly listen or equal give-and-take -- don't do the dumbass thing by going on and on and on and on about yourself and boring the crap outta her). This is where you work on your kino, etc.

4) Then things progress from there: get her info, or if she's really hot for you, and things are progressing ahead of schedule, so to speak, take her to another venue (instant 1st date, in which case you might jump over the next step or 2 if it flows that way ).

5) If you just got her info, then you call her (I like to call in about 2-3 days, typically -- 2 statistically has worked best for me), have a brief little chat, and set the date.

6) Then you have your first date, etc.

My point of going through all these steps is to illustrate where you should be focused. The first hurdle is attracting the gals. Everything else follows. Putting your focus on approaches, gambits, etc. before working on your image is putting the cart before the horse.

Of course it's good to work on all those aspects of approach, convo, etc. as you go along, but the main goal should be to increase your attraction quotient.

You'll still make mistakes, and have "bummer" periods when you're pissed-off at yourself for a mistake, but as you improve, so will your mistakes.

Then before you'll know it, you'll be posting about vexing situations that the newbies would kill to be so lucky to have.

 

[Surfboard]

its like i see a chick who I know is giving me signs, I go up to her, talk to her, and boom! Shes no longer interested in me.

Could you elaborate more on this? Tell us what kind of signs she's giving you. What are the conversations like? Most importantly, what is it that makes you say she's no longer interested in you?

 

[MoveYourAss...]

some GREAT replies in a thread I didn't want to look at...

To find out where is your problem answer yourself (and mabe to us) these questions:
1) What do you actually say to her before she cuts (exact words, please)?
2) How is your body language in that moment. What do your shoulders and neck do?
3) Are you socially shy in other contextes, such as having friends you can laugh with etc ?
4) Do you have any female friends you have a good laugh with?

And: Remember the quote from this forum: "Isn't it hilarious that I can't get a chick?"

MoveYourA$$...and your brain will follow

 

[gm8384]

Welcome to my world. I was going to post a vent too, but I will ramble on too long.

 

[Alpine]

Yes I was boring people with my woes a couple of weeks ago and I must say I have made more progress in that time than in the last 6 months.

These are some of the things I'm doing and I get to meet women as well as improve myself.

I've began going down the gym.

Signed up for beginners Salso.

Doing yoga and pilates. For posture

Smiling at women I would normally pretend I didn't see wherever I go.

New glasses/contacts and wardrobe.

I haven't bedded a HB10 yet but what I was doing before certainly wasn't getting me anywhere.


Do your own things and approach anyone you take a fancy too would be my advice

 

[Matt Rogers]

For a start I think you are over-estimating their interest level. If a girl really likes the look of you, as long as you can hold a conversation and avoid coming on too strong you should be able to get her number at least with little difficulty.

Fact is some girls will like you, some won't. Interest level is hard to gauge. As long as she seems relatively receptive to conversing with you and holds good eye contact and smiles, ask for the number. Maybe she'll give it, maybe she won't. But ask enough girls and someone will bite.