Serious Relatioship Requirements ....if Not Stay Single

[tiburon]

I had a discussion not so long ago with one of my best friends who is having problems with his girl. He is in a semi serious relationship that its not looking to last. This is the advice i gave him which i think all of the DJs should follow.

Due a POSITIVE , NEGATIVE, BONUS columns and be Specific.

POSITIVE : things you must definitely have in your partner
NEGATIVE : things you wont tolerate from her.
BONUS : good extras but you can compromise on it .

I did mine to show him.

POSITIVE------------------------------------------------------------------------

1-)FAMILY VALUES.
2-) INTEGRITY( SELF RESPECT,HONESTY, LOYALTY,WOMAN OF HER WORD)
3-)GIVER
4-) AFFECTIONATE
5-)MATURE
6-)EXCLUSIVE
7-)FLEXIBLE
SEX
9-)DECENT PHYSICAL APPEREANCE
10-)WIFE SKILLS
11-)INDEPENDENT
12-) MUST BELIEVE IN GOD

NEGATIVE-----------------------------------------------------------------------
1-) FEMINISTA
2-) GOING TO CLUBS WITH OUT HER MAN
3-)DRINKING( getting Drunk with out her man , or in front of others with her man)
4-) DRUGS. ( NONE ACCEPTED WITH ME OR WITHOUT ME.)
5-)EXES(no connection with exe not even as friends. They can say hi if they see ecah other in the street but that about it.)
6-) SCREAMING OR ANY OTHER SOURCE OF VERBAL DISRESPECT

BONUS---------------------------------------------------------------------------

1-) PRETTY SMILE.
2-) WELL SPOKEN.
3-) INTELLIGENT.
4-) OUTGOING.
5-) DANCE.
6-) CUBAN or SPANISH
7-)WILLING TO ASSIMILATE TO SOME ASPECTS OF MY CULTURE


Then i told him to see what things she had and she didnt have and do a close evaluation, but two remeber the following rules.

RULE 1: DONT UNDERESTIMATE THE INFLUENCE OF HER INTEREST LEVEL.

RULE 2: MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS THAN WHEN YOU SAY ITS OVER IT MEANS ITS OVER FOREVER.

RULE 3: LOVE A WOMAN FOR WHAT SHE IS AND NOT FOR WHTA YOU WANT HER TO BE IN YOUR MIND.

RULE 4: LOOK AT HER ACTIONS AND NOT AT HER WORDS.

RULE 5: YOU CANNOT CHANGE A PERSON.

RULE 6: THE BOTTOM LINE IS YOU WILL RUN INTO COMFRONTATIONS OF SOME SORT SOONER OR LATER.

RULE 7: IF SHE DOESNT MEET YOUR REQUIREMENTS DO NOT GET INTO A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE ON THE LONG RUN YOU WILL SUFFER AND MISS VALUABLE TIME INTO MEETING A WOMAN THAT FITS YOUR REQUIREMENTS.

Tiburon

 

[OpenMind]

i have to say im impressed.. this is the only strategy for a DJ to get what he wants and achieve his goals in a relationship.. a DJ gets what he is looking for or he gets out! the real key is to do this BEFORE getting into a relationship with a woman so that you dont get crushed when you find out later that she isnt a good match for you.... this is hard to do but it is a necessary requirement in finding what you are looking for.. once the sparks fly the smokescreen goes up, your vision gets clouded, and you are fukked.. great advice tiburon

 

[So pimp its scary]

This is a VERY important post. Litterally BIBLE material (if the bible were concerned with relationships).

I came to this realization a while ago, athat if you don't know what you are looking for, then HOW will you ever know when you find i?

I would just change one lil aspect.

You mentioned Postive, Negative, and Bonus, and the ones you mentioned ARE important... Here is what I would have said instead :

Positive : The positive traits that you NEED to have in a woman for an LTR.

Negative : The negative traits tht you will ACCEPT from the woman for your LTR, this is important because ALL humans have flaws, and you have to be willing to accept certain character flaws. I personnaly think this list should be fairly long, but the actual traits that you see in the woman would represent few of the items as possible.

Negative : The negative traits that you are UNWILLING to accept in your girl. This should be a few key things that you CANNOT deal with... for me it's either a woman that is controlling, a pack-rat, or stupid (I would like to have a conversation that can expand to more then just shopping and shoes)

Bonus : These are the traits that you would really like to have in a woman, but if they are not there then it doesn't really change much. I would say that for a real good LTR possibility, she wil have at least 1 or 2 of your bonus traits.

Also, looks should not enter too much into the equation for LTR possibilities, because you CAN be with the hottest piece of meat in town, but if she doesn't meet your requirements then the relationship will just NOT work.

 

[OpenMind]

Great response So Pimp Its Scary

 

[learningtopimp]

You broke it down to a science man....good stuff.

 

[tiburon]

keep them coming

Yes i agree that this stuff should be on the bible.....many people are wasting time with woman nor worth any...KEEP the suggestion coming..So pimp its scary had good points ...maybe we can make something good out of this and if the " great Moderators decide " we can added to the bible....


Good stuff

Tiburon

 

[tiburon]

one rule i forgot to add?

Rule 8 : You can not ask anyone to do or give anything you are not willing to do or give either.

Tiburon

 

[MetalFortress]

Definitely a good post... I made a list just now while chatting with downfallofdisbelief. You're going to think I'm either psychotic or really friggin picky when you see this but oh well

POSITIVE : things you must definitely have in your partner
Christian
saving sex until marriage (this includes oral and stuff too)
feminine
good wifely skills
not too skinny, not too fat, some meat on her bones but not a whole slaughterhouse
likes children
affectionate.
likes when I am a gentleman
doesn't cuss, at least not too much
good hygiene
likes to smile
wants to be a housewife/stay at home mom
good voice
not makeup crazy/low maintenance
wants to please me
has a wild side that she wants to let out after marriage
loyal/exclusive
respectful
gets along with her family and my family
her mom and dad have a good relationship with her and each other
conservative
wants to marry me for the right reason, not just for the sake of getting married
likes my body hair/manly look

NEGATIVE : things you wont tolerate from her.
feminist
bossy
disrespectful
intolerably annoying laugh/voice
overly fat or overly scrawny
drunkard
smokes
greedy gold digger
uses drugs
lots of exes
pisses and moans about how wrong it is that she shaves her legs while I shave only my fave
not a virgin
violent
has A.D.D. (unless she can control it)
crappy hygiene/smells bad
crappy teeth
caked on makeup
high maintenance
thinks she gets special treatment because she is female
thinks that testosterone is a bad thing (in men)
lesbian
bisexual
spoiled brat
doesn't shave legs
eating disorder
stupid
stupid looking hair (mullet, mohawk, trihawk, other hawks, shave head, butch)
too prudish
tries to turn me metrosexual
ghetto
talks like a sailor
too hairy
has a bunch of cellulite
doesn't have strong personal beliefs/easily molded
too flirty with other guys
yells at me for holding the door for her
likes queer eye for the straight guy or other gay shows
liberal
intolerant of the fact that I love sports and dislike emo kids and "nice guys"

BONUS : good extras but you can compromise on it .
good taste in music
dresses well
not a "punk"
dislikes emo and emo kids
likes sports
long hair
blueish eyes
big but perky boobs

Best part is, I found a chick who fits EVERY SINGLE FRIGGIN one of these, even the bonuses. And oh yeah, she wants to marry me

 

[tiburon]

good list

Definitely a long list but atleast you know what you are looking for. I might still some from your list at one point or another.


By the way that great about that girl you found and i pray its true and that you are not blinded or that she is not a con artist.................


Tiburon

 

[So pimp its scary]

Definately... That is why I still maintain that you cannot be exclusive with a girl before at least 3 months have gone by... so that you have the chance to start seeing what she is REALLY all about, and not just the chemical high you get when you first meet someone...

You can let that die down a lil bit, and then decide with a clear head if she really is what you first though she is.

 

[MetalFortress]

Re: good list

Originally posted by tiburon
Definitely a long list but atleast you know what you are looking for. I might still some from your list at one point or another.


By the way that great about that girl you found and i pray its true and that you are not blinded or that she is not a con artist.................


Tiburon

Definitely. I've had experience with being blinded before and know how stupid it is. This is definitely a rational thing this time. If she's a con I'll sniff her out sooner or later, but her best friend, who I've known for over a year, introduced us and vouches for her completely, which is a definitely good sign.

So far, she seems like she could be marriage material, but I'm not marrying until I'm at least out of college.

 

[MetalFortress]

bump for someone else

 

[tiburon]

REVISION

When i first wrote this post i did it so i can come back and see how much my requirement change over time, and at tdifferent satges so i will make some changes to my once believed list.

POSITIVE : things you must definitely have in your partner
NEGATIVE : things you wont tolerate from her.
BONUS : good extras but you can compromise on it .

I did mine to show him.

POSITIVE------------------------------------------------------------------------

1-)FAMILY VALUES.
2-) INTEGRITY( SELF RESPECT,HONESTY, LOYALTY,WOMAN OF HER WORD)
3-)GIVER
4-) AFFECTIONATE
5-)MATURE
6-)EXCLUSIVE
7-)FLEXIBLE
SEX
9-)DECENT PHYSICAL APPEREANCE
10-)WIFE SKILLS
11-)INDEPENDENT
12-) MUST BELIEVE IN GOD


NEGATIVE-----------------------------------------------------------------------
1-) FEMINISTA
2-) GOING TO CLUBS WITH OUT HER MAN
3-)DRINKING( getting Drunk with out her man , or in front of others with her man)
4-) DRUGS. ( NONE ACCEPTED WITH ME OR WITHOUT ME.)
5-)EXES(no connection with exe not even as friends. They can say hi if they see ecah other in the street but that about it.)
6-) SCREAMING OR ANY OTHER SOURCE OF VERBAL DISRESPECT

BONUS---------------------------------------------------------------------------

1-) PRETTY SMILE.
2-) WELL SPOKEN.
3-) INTELLIGENT.
4-) OUTGOING.
5-) DANCE.
6-) CUBAN or SPANISH
7-)WILLING TO ASSIMILATE TO SOME ASPECTS OF MY CULTURE
IS A GROWN WOMAN AND THATS PROBABLY THE WAY SHE WILL BE UNTIL SHE DIES


Then i told him to see what things she had and she didnt have and do a close evaluation, but two remeber the following rules.

RULE 1: LOVE A WOMAN FOR WHAT SHE IS AND NOT FOR WHTA YOU WANT HER TO BE IN YOUR MIND.

RULE 2: DONT UNDERESTIMATE THE INFLUENCE OF HER INTEREST LEVEL.

RULE 2: MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS THAN WHEN YOU SAY ITS OVER IT MEANS ITS OVER FOREVER.

RULE 4: LOOK AT HER ACTIONS AND NOT AT HER WORDS.

RULE 5: YOU CANNOT CHANGE A PERSON.

RULE 6: THE BOTTOM LINE IS YOU WILL RUN INTO COMFRONTATIONS OF SOME SORT SOONER OR LATER.

RULE 7: IF SHE DOESNT MEET YOUR REQUIREMENTS DO NOT GET INTO A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE ON THE LONG RUN YOU WILL SUFFER AND MISS VALUABLE TIME INTO MEETING A WOMAN THAT FITS YOUR REQUIREMENTS.

Not many changes except added one to the bonus

Tiburon