Serious question: Is marriage worth it?

[WestCoaster]

OK, I've been single my entire life and I ain't getting any younger. Marriage was on my mind a lot the past few years until I discovered this site and the DJ philosophy and am happy with who I am, with or without a gal.

That said, is marriage worth it? I'm serious here. I had good role models: my parents have been married forever, rarely fight, have similar AND different interests, and enjoy each others company, and they're well into retirement.

My problem is that few people I know outside my folks aren't that happy married. I'm one of the last of my friends still single, and I have a lot of friends, and I would say perhaps 3 maybe four out of 25 or so marriages is really happy. Most are not happy and many say they are, but I can tell they aren't.

I often say I wish I was married and they come back with, "Are you kidding?! You got it made, dating various women, etc." (They really got tweaked when I was in grad school and went out with a gal half my age -- she was 19. One guy said I should walk down to the local bar and get my high fives!)

I'm just wondering if it's worth it. I'm not serious with anyone right now, just dating some, but feel myself being more and more ready for perhaps marriage -- but I'm also loving the single life.

Is it worth it or is it an exercise in pain and misery?

 

[BobbDobbs]

Seriously, you should marry based upon how you feel about a particular woman -- not how you feel about needing to be married in general.

If you haven't got a woman in mind now, your question is premature.

 

[Krassus]

If you're loving the single life, i see no reason to change anything.

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by BobbDobbs
Seriously, you should marry based upon how you feel about a particular woman -- not how you feel about needing to be married in general.

If you haven't got a woman in mind now, your question is premature.

exactly

 

[Player_Supreme]

Sometimes I think I should be the last one to ever say this but...hell yeah it's worth it. As long as it is with the right person. Someone whom you share a deep connection with.

I have a friend like that, it's almost as if we were ment to be soul mates our connection is so deep. I am even considering shrinking my team down so that I can develop more of a relationship with this woman....and see where it leads too.

Of course if I did that I would never come here again, because when you get into a relationship you should put away your playerizm and ways.

I say look for the soul connection and attract it into your life bruh.

 

[WestCoaster]

Good stuff, Player

"Shrinking my team down" -- that's pretty funny. If I was you -- and I'm not -- I wouldn't trim that team one bit!

The day you leave the DJ site would be a major bummer! But you might be right on that. I've found a lot of nice women, but none I feel that marriage connection with just yet. There's one on the fringe who might be that connection, but there's a lot more ground work to do and we're miles apart.

Plus, I'm dating a lot right now so basically I'm not in marriage mode. I don't want to shrink my team down either!

 

[Ice Cold]

read nomarriage.com

I think you should have a contract before you marry
I think you should live with a person for at least 2 years before you marry
I think you should be 35+ before you think about marrying

I think that once you have tasted different kinds of women, you're not gonna find any that you truly like.


From what I've seen in my family, is that my mom dominates all the fukkin time, but dad still resists but as years pass he lets go of his positions. I started to stand up and set limits and guess what? She respects me!

One of my aunts dominates and makes fun of her husband all the time. He's totally whipped now. I was old enough to see them marry. He was this kinda cool alpha male guy, she was so sweet and nice. Not long it was - she turned into controlling, witchy, scheming nagging thing that bosses him around.

My uncle was basically killed by his wife. She nagged the life out of him and he voluntarily joined the army to go to a hot point, that was while having a PhD and working as a top level engineer. Four months later delivered with a bullet through his head. I remember walking into the room where I wasn't supposed to go. He just lay there, with his head open. I was 5.

That's my family only. There are tons of others I know. The ho marries our friend, a surgeon, grows fat, calls the police on him and claims abuse. She gets 700 000$ house, 200 000 into a banking account, a mercedes and 50 percent of his wages. They were married for 2 years. I've also been on their vedding day. He's cutting his own balls off and smiling. Now he looks about 10 years older. He told me he was having sex about 2-3 times a month. He didn't have any particular emotional satisfaction from his wife and she wasn't that hot either.

I pulled a 8.5 a month ago. I was her first and she's genuenly crazy about me. I trained her to do all the stuff I want and she's now getting really good in the sack.

What did she cost me? 2.73+tax

A coffee and a muffin at coffee time.

 

[Krassus]

Where the hell did you find a virgin 8.5 our age?

 

[Crotch Sniffer]

marriage is a farce.

Why get the government involved in matters of LOVE? arent they already involved enough in our lives?

Something about the traditional, cold sterility of this institution really bothers me. I know you should never say never, but I can honestly say that I will NEVER get married....



um, unless she is filthy rich so I can divorce her and take half her money

 

[confus4ever]

i understand that there's a time in life when marriage sounds pretty good..maybe even fulfilling (now i'm complete, sort of speak) Usually, from my experience, women come across this path 1st. All i can say, is that if it's your mind (we all have fear, and it is the 2000's) be careful, take your time, evaluate the women you date, and say some prayers before making the decision with whomever you feel will be your wife. Use your instinctual side to help guide you. Marriage is great, as long as you pick the right one!

 

[Silquee Smoove]

WestCoaster, check out this site before you contemplate marriage: http://www.nomarriage.com it's an eye opener.

 

[confus4ever]

Silquee Smoove comment

My view

I understand what or some of what you said. But, do you understand what fallacy means? Your advice in this matter helps none but the negative. Yes, your website shows the negatives, but you never know....afterall, we are all human...and life doesn't have to exist alone because the factors of everyone's worst nighmare exist

 

[princelydeeds]

Marriage is always great for a short while. But I guess somewhere around day 246 happily ever after turns into marriage. It was around day 373 that you realised you have already heard every interesting story this b!tch has to tell, 10 times already. On day 874 you realise that you have laid this piece every which way you can possibly lay her. On day 1327, you look at muffin and think damn where did she pick up those extra 40 pounds. On day 2881, your sitting in the bank about to sign debt consolidation papers because your credit cards are maxed, muffin's $40k suv payment is due, the mortgage on your 2 year old "dream house" is late, the little brats need tuition money for "private school and muffin needs more money to decorate the house." On day 3650 you are supposed to be celebrating your 10 year anniversary, instead, you are fantasizing about the hot 20 year old waitress who has been serving your lunch for the past month, while on top of the 220 pound beast you married those 10 long years ago.

Just think the average life expectancy for an American male is 78. You only have 40+ more years of this "good life." Just think if you leave her she keeps the house, and you get to pay for it, she keeps the kids and you get to pay for them too, and she keeps half of your paycheck because she hasn't worked since little timmy was born and she has grown accustomed to a certain "lifestyle." Yup I guess it really was worth it, this is happily ever after.

 

[Ice Cold]

Originally posted by Krassus
Where the hell did you find a virgin 8.5 our age?

Beleive it or not there are some left, but I am systematically taking them out.

Come on. I'm 18. Its not a problem for me to spot a 17 year old chick in my class. She gets a huge smile when complemented and flusters. She's not dressing up all that revealing, but beneath the blue jeans and a sweater hides a nice body with firm tits. She is actually interested in calculus and knows a bit about literature. She gets bothered and asked "what did i do?" when you don't greet her 2-3 times.

Although you can scare her off with early kino, she has no problem letting you into into her pants once you have built good rapport and danced a slow dance with her.

And she's kinda uncomfortable with your d1ck. She studies it carefully, from all angles and tests how much it can stretch. It's like she has to get to know you all over again.

 

[dietzcoi]

Watch "Everybody Loves Raymond" or some similiar Sitcom.

Think it is BS?? If real life wasn't like this, it would not be popular or funny. It is popular although I think it is sick. My friends love it... AFCs!!!

Go ahead and get married....do it!!! You will wind up permenant AFC or like me, divorced and 15 years wasted before I was "born again"

There is no other likely outcome unless you are in the less than 5% who really do find a decent woman.

Do you feel lucky, punk??

Dietzcoi

 

[bp1974]

I think a good LTR with someone is a fantastic thing, even kids too someday. But with the change in divorce laws favouring the woman so highly, and the divroce rate steadily climbing, I don't think giving the government a say in how I run my relationships and spend my money is a good move.

Marriage now more than ever is a financial, legally binding contract designed to protect the woman's and children's financial security in the event of divorce. To me, it has lost all other meanings.

All the other important meanings behind marriage such as commitment, trust, creating a partnership etc, can be created in an LTR without signing a contract to say so. A marriage is between you and the other person, not you, her and a bunch of lawyers. The only place this falls down is if you believe marriage to be blessed by God. In which case, you've got to do it properly or it ain't blessed. Personally I think that's a load of sh*t, designed by church and government to keep us all in line, and nothing at all to do with God.

 

[CONAN]

A freind of mine got divorced recently,
They shared the house 50/50
She got the inside, he got the outside
regards
C

 

[chlywly]

Whether you choose to Marry, whether you feel it's right for you; is a very personal question. Is it worth it? once again only you can decide for yourself. If you find the right girl you may know that you want to get married without a doubt; if you havn't found this girl and you are only concentrating on the act of marraige itself then don't bother: Thats exactly why marriages fall apart... People are getting married not for eachother, not to grow together, but for the sake of marriage itself... Out of fear possibly, to tie eachother down and somewhow gain a false sense of secuirty out of the binding contract. "You can't leave me, it says so on paper".



Live your life as who YOU are.. When and if the time comes you will know it.

 

[Royal-tiger]

It depends

This is such a touchy and controversial subject that there probably is no right answer -- only a subjective one.

I can't see myself marrying. Been there and done that. Many times we are brain washed in certain social beliefs down to the core. Marriage, for example, is ingrained as an essential phase of human growth. It is drilled so deep that we don't question its validity. Since everyone around us is on this social wavelength if you're not it feels odd and freaky to the society. Women are, by the same token, led to believe that if they don't have kid(s) they are not complete. Motherhood is seen as the "completing" act. Ask a childless woman how many times she has to justify her decision.

If you evaluate the politics of it, marriage was designed mainly to benefit/protect women for their (and kids') protection. It is one of the main reasons why women tend to make marriage an important criteria of any relationship. I can honestly say that about 80% of marriages happen because of woman's desire/pressure to tie the knot or move on.

I, for one, am not cut out for it. I can live with a woman but the thought of marriage chokes me considering the economic and social leverage it gives her. As they say, "Everything changes the moment you say, "I do"."

But then different strokes for different folks!

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

If you don't want to get married, don't. If you do, do. It's all good.


And the divorce rate is very high. And in some states, no matter what, like CA. it's split, 50-50 when your divorced. No matter if you made 100 million bucks and she made jack squat.

Thats why you should get a pre-nupt. Hey it might be unromantic, but it's better to cover your ass, then not. You'll still lose crap, but not as much.

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Marriage now more than ever is a financial, legally binding contract designed to protect the woman's and children's financial security in the event of divorce. To me, it has lost all other meanings.
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See here is the problem i have with people like you and your statement.

Most women don't deserve the money true, but if you have children, your CHILDRENS financial security should be the number one priortiy.

THere are too many fathers and mothers who don't give a rats azz about their kids. They go out partying all the time, they never see or even raise their kids.

as CHRIS ROCK said,

You know the kids got problems when he's calling his GRANDPARENTS MOM and DAD.

And the sad part about the US today, many of those kids are the lucky ones.

I've seen too many kids living on the street cause their parents aint ever home or their parents are knocked out, lying on the floor from drugs.

There are too many Deadbeat fathers and drugged out mothers.

So when you say, marriage is for women and kids, hell, YOUR KIDS SHOULD F((((ING be protected.