Serious question about dating multiple girls

[chalk]

Heres something ive been pondering for a while and i'd like some responses from people with experience, so if you haven't done it don't reply.

Dating multiple girls obviously makes complete sense from a Dj point of view, but how do you go about letting them know that your seeing other women without coming accross the wrong way?

The problem i have when i run this senario through in my mind is that, say i'm seeing 3 or 4 different girls; my home island is quite small and theres a high chance that i might either bump into one of the other girls when im out, or at the very least people around the place will talk and it will come to the surface anyway.

So the best way i can see, and the way i'd like to do it anyway, would be to say it from the outset and be honest with my stance, which is that i'm not gonna waste months of my life with one girl just find out it's not going to work and start all over again with another girl.

For some reason i can see some women being a bit pissed with the notion of not being the 'only one' but then why should i care right. The only problem is i can see this leading to some ugly situations.

So i'd just like to hear from some Dj's out there who are juggling multiple girls (and preferably not in a dishonest way) and making it work. How have you gone about it and what have you said to them. I'd prefer not to 'play' these girls behind the back of each other.

Im interested to hear other peoples take on this.

Chalk

 

[ER!C L!VE]

The girls who I 'date' (read: bang) are usually seeing other guys just like I'm seeing other girls. Just be cool about the whole thing. Don't get mushy and talk about love, being exclusive or act jealous when the girl brings up another guy.

Some girls are really open about talking about the other guys they're dating and some girls don't discuss it, but drop hints. I choose the 'don't ask, don't tell' policy with the latter type of girls. If they're so bold as to ask, I'll tell them whatever they want to know. I'll keep a little mystery to keep them guessing though - I don't want to give them enough reason to stop banging me.

A girl is not my girlfriend, unless I ask her to be exclusive with me. Otherwise, we're both free to see other people.

How old are you and how old are the girls you're dating?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by chalk
Heres something ive been pondering for a while and i'd like some responses from people with experience, so if you haven't done it don't reply.

Dating multiple girls obviously makes complete sense from a Dj point of view, but how do you go about letting them know that your seeing other women without coming accross the wrong way?
...

When you are with one of your women, you never do anything to imply that you are dating. Women do this all the time with guys, it's called "going out."

Think about it, women never (or at least they shouldn't if they are truly interested) talk about the other guys they are "going out with" when she is with you. Why should you?

If asked if you are "seeing" or "dating" anyone else you say without pause "No, I'm not dating anyone." Most women are smart enough (if they aren't too young) to understand what that means.

The naive ones will press you for a specific answer. It's up to you whether or not you want to play that game. The ones that are truly interested will more than likely give you additional signs of their interest level. Just remember to play it cool.

 

[PRMoon]

You should just make them aware that you're not looking for anything exclusive at this point in time. You enjoy going out and doing things with which ever girl but that doesn't make you a couple. Maybe things will develop down the line between you in one girl but you'll cross that bridge when you get to it.

Also when dating more then one girl don't call or see all of them regularly just do periodic check ins. That way they'll know not to take you too seriously and they'll know that you are just aquaintences who hang out (possibly bang if you've played your cards right) but don't have a bf/gf relationship as its known.

I do thinkin living on an island though and banging all these girls could get sticky. Typically when there's sex involved, feelings will get involved as well so keeping that on the DL might be a bit tricky but again if you don't see all of them regularly then most of them won't put A and B together, unless the two girls know or know of each other previously.

 

[chalk]

Good responses.

Im 24 and these girls are from 19 up to my age.

This has given me something to think about. I really need to get back to my DJ roots, I've been making the mistake of getting involved with one particular girl whos starting to grind on me, and the bad thing is i've been consiously breaking the most basic rules and letting myself slip, ignoring obvious red flags as well for the hell of it.

It was fun for a bit but theres a point where you have to draw the line.



:woo:

 

[chalk]

Cummon!

This thread shouldn't have sunk to the 3rd page!

 

[Chemistry]

Just get on... I mean because a lot of these girls just want to have fun too... you know, you're only young once, but in this time you may stumble upon someone who you think you'd like to see in a little more of... and that's when you confront the issue of exclusivity and go from 3 or 4 to 1...

But in the meanwhile... have that fun... some girls don't mind knowing that you're playin elsewhere too, and some do, and with them its your job to give them that ego trip to think that you're only f*ckin them, or they're you're number 1 f*ck, knowing full well that you've got a number of irons in the fire and if you weren't f*ckin them, no big deal....

As an organisational point, having more than 1 phone helps keep a higher number of girls under control

 

[ER!C L!VE]

Originally posted by chalk
Cummon!

This thread shouldn't have sunk to the 3rd page!

LOL! Most guys on this site have no idea about dating multiple girls, hence the reason for the lack of responses.

 

[Spirit Fingers]

Here's how I handle MLTRs:

1. Don't bring up the subject of exclusivity until they ask. In my experience, they always ask sooner or later. When she does, tell her that you're not ready for an exclusive relationship yet, but you really like her because of x, y, and z. Be honest with her, but don't say flat out that you will never want to be exclusive with her.

2. This is not the end of it. She will keep bringing up the issue of exclusivity. Once you've fvcked her for a few months, then she should be deeply converted and will be very strongly attached to you. At this point you have enormous power over her --now you can tell her that you're not the type of person to have an exclusive relationshiop, but you still really like her and she's special to you, etc. Make sure that you tell her that you like her -- otherwise she will think you're just using her and dump you. If you do this correctly, she will never resist -- a girl would rather share an alpha guy than have an beta guy exclusively.

3. This brings me to another point, which is that the foundation of this whole system is being higher value than her. This comes mainly from being the best lay she's ever had in her life. Without this, the whole system comes crashing down.

4. Although she knows about the situation, avoid having her see proof that you are fvcking other girls. Avoid leaving out condoms, having other girls leave hickies on you, leaving their clothes in your room, etc. While logically they know what's happening, actually seeing it makes it emotionally real for them. This isn't to say that if it happens once in a while it's a disaster, but generally try to avoid it.

5. If the girls meet, try to keep them apart somehow. Show equal attention to each girl, and don't get physically affectionate with one or the other.

BTW, anybody who does not have experience with fvcking more than one girl at the same time, please don't reply to this thread.

-Dan

 

[chalk]

That last post sounds like how i was with my (just) Ex girl friend when i met her over a year ago. I just goes to show what can happen when you let yourself slip, and get attatched! A dangerous combination.....

Now i've finished it (almost a week) and i won't make the same mistake again. Ive got a few other girls that i could have pulled when i was with my ex but didn't because that would just be weak.

Some more good responses in here which have picked me up a bit. A year and half ago my game was pretty damn tight, but now after a year with one girl i can feel i'm gonna have to throw myself out there with fierce motivation and re-learn some of my old tricks.

Cheers

Karl

 

[chalk]

Cheers again for the responses guys.

Just thought i'd say that some of the advice you threw my way had it's part in getting me motivated and back out there, and last night I had quite a lot of fun kissing/dancing with some random girls..... not to mention driving the pretty ones mad by giving their friends all the attention.

Ahhhhhh..... you gotta love having the knowledge from this site sometimes

Chalk

 

[wheelin&dealin]

I date multiple girls until you find one that's worth my attention, then drop the rest. Don't try to be a hero by telling her that you're dating 3 or 4 girls. It looks stupid and you're pretty much bragging about yourself.