serious performance anxiety problems

[godjwood]

so i havent been too sexually active until recently. i had only ****ed one girl until about a year ago when i was on my second. this girl was kinda ugly and i was just doing her in desperation. the third time when we went to have sex i had a real hard time getting an errection and i didnt know what it was. i thought maybe it was just becasue the girl was ugly.

so then about 6 months ago i started hooking up w/ this really hot chick. first time we hooked up i was completely flacid. it took me a long time, months, before it started working, and even then, it was hard to get it up.
during this time period i was extremly anxious bout my errection problems. i even tried buying pills online in desperation but they dindt work at all.

i put a post up here and talked to my friends and they said i should see a doctor. the doctor gave me some **** about being in alove w/ a girl and all this.. basically it was just humiliating and didnt fix anything.
i stopped seeing this girl because i moved just as things were starting to work out better sexually.

so since then i had anotehr one night stand. i wasnt using a condom and could hardly keep an errection. i never ended up getting off and ended up just giving up.

a couple weeks later i started dating another girl. i really liked her actaully, and i was very comfortable around her.
i went to have sex with her and my penis wasnt working. itold her i think its performance anxiety and its not her at all. i had sex with her, but it was very labored to get it up. and when i had an errection it was very weak and i kept going flacid during sex. and i never came either. tried it again in the AM and same thing happeend. then this girl moved to austrailia, she was just here on travel.

i am problably not comfortable because ireally am not very sexually experienced. i have had sex less than ten times. so maybe that is why i am nervous when in the act combined w/ my past failures.

i also find that sex feels very good at first then the girl gets loosened up and too wet and it no longer feels as good. and i didnt use a condom on the past two girls so its not an issue with that.

this is a serious problem for me now. should i see a psyciatrist? would this even help? or just humiliate me again. it is not a physical problem i am fine when masterbating.
should i try some of that topical cream? try to get ahold of some viagra?

any help/advice or similar experiences would be appreciated.

thanks guys.

 

[PJD]

Are you only having condom sex? For me, condom sex and no-condom sex are completely different. If you actually have real sex, the kind man has been having for millions of years, you will notice a big difference, you actually get great sensations without working too hard.

My first girlfriend had been on birth control for about a year. But we had an issue towards the end so I started to wear a condom. There were times I literally didn't know if I was inside her or not.

Beyond that, anxiety is an issue you have to work with. What normally gets you in the mood when you're by yourself? Porn? Well, maybe imagine porn the first few times until you're comfortable with the real thing.

Also, maybe try to be more selfish. Just kind of go for what feels good for you, and stop worrying about her and everything else so much. She'll have better sex in the process too.

 

[Bvbidd]

You drinking before you do anything sexual?

 

[godjwood]

no, the past 2 girls i have not used condoms. and yes i was drunk with one girl but i was sober with the most recent one and i still had issues.

 

[d9930380]

I hate to ask but are you worried about your size. If you watch porn then you might feel insecure compared to the porn stars even if intellectually you know that's not the norm.

 

[godjwood]

no im not worried about my size at all

 

[Tau]

Do a google search on performance anxiety, you'll probably find a bunch of quality sites that will tell you way more than this forum every could. It's a common enough problem, there's tons of good info other there on it.