Serious Help.

[Mantle07]

There is this girl that I want to see, I only met her 5 days ago and she friendzoned me. A Little bit about us is that we are both in High School still.

The first night I met her, we had a blast. I made her laugh the whole time, I mean it was just an amazing night. After about 6 or 7 hours, she had that look in her eye. The one that lets you know that shes in to you.

Next night, I went to her basketball game that she was cheerleading for. When I was able to see her, I gave her a massive hug and told she looked amazing. After the game I went to a friends house because she was going to be there, and we hung out there for about 3 hours. We started to watch a movie, she sat next to me, I put my arm around her and we cuddled. She starts to touch my hand, starts letting her fingers go through mine. I pulled my hand away and she goes for it again. I did this three times to show her I wasnt easy. After about an hour or so I start being the touchy-feely one. I put my hand on to her breast and start groping them. She didnt mind it at all, I stopped for 5 mins and she takes my hand and puts it on her breast. At the end of the night I got her phone number but I didnt text her right away because I knew that wouldve shown I was into her right away.

The next day we started to text, and I told her to go to her friends house. After about 2 hours of begging (boo-boo I know) she said she couldnt go, so I made her jealous by hanging out with a different girl.

After the fourth night, I woke up around 11ish and sent her a text. We were both out of school at the time so she replied almost instantly. She said she was about to jump in the shower and I said let me join you. She replied with "I wouldnt mind " Throughout that day we couldnt hang out but we still flirted with each other via texts.

Today, on the fifth day, we were talking through txts and she says "Hey, can I tell you something?" I said "Yeah." She said "I only want to be friends....... n nothing else." I was shocked because I thought I had her around my finger already but she completely flipped the tables on me. I HAVE never been in a situation like this and I need help.

Im just curious if shes just testing me or not, so please someone help me.

 

[backbreaker]

she had that look in her eye. The one that lets you know that shes in to you.

:facepalm:

She starts to touch my hand, starts letting her fingers go through mine. I pulled my hand away and she goes for it again.

This is **** I did in jr high school and I was a bad AFC then. Hell I was getting handjobs in the movies when I was in high school

I did this three times to show her I wasnt easy

okay now I know you are a troll lol

I stopped for 5 mins and she takes my hand and puts it on her breast. At the end of the night I got her phone number but I didnt text her right away because I knew that wouldve shown I was into her right away.

YOU JUST SPENT THE LAST 2 DAYS FOLLOWING HER AROUND LIKE A LAP DOG AND PLAYING FOOTSIE WITH HER, AND YOU DON'T WANT TO SEND HER A TEXT BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT HER TO THINK YOU ARE TOO INTO HER ROTFL?

so I made her jealous by hanging out with a different girl.

I assure you she was not jealous.

Im just curious if shes just testing me or not, so please someone help me.

do EXACTLTY what the I am about to say. do not deviate from this path , regardless of what she says, or does.


respond, via text saying this and only this

"I don't, take care"


and do not send any more texts, do not call, do not email, don't chat on facebook or whatever you kids are using today. Do; not make an effort to talk to her. Dont' be an ******* towards her, but those are not conditions that you are willing to accept, therefore no play.

**** the friend ****. You want to bone her, and if that's what you want, that is the only thing you are going to accept.

If she isn't going to date you, she needs to move on and not waste your time. And don't waste your time you don't give a **** about being her friend you want to get in that ass so why beat around the bush.

what she is saying (believe me have ALL been there) is that there are qualities about you I like, but you aren't' someone I am hot for right now, but I can keep you around to do **** for me and to talk to and stuff like that. Or/and there is someone else who she likes more in the picture. Either or, and efforts you make right now are pissing in the wind. YOu don't want to be that guy. Be willing to let her go if you don't get what you want.

and don't' be an ******* about it.
This is what is going to happen.

She is going to say something, to get some type of response out of you. She might even start flirting with you or say something, do something. Just tell her look you are a great gall but honestly I have enough male friends, I'm not looking for friends right now. I'm not all about sex, but I mean, I didn't' chat you up because I wanted to be your friend, so it's best we not waste each others time"

And stick to your guns. If she sends you a text a week from now do not respond unless she is talking about coming over your house or something, something that is obviously date related. she hasn't ****ed up per say, so don't NEXT her, but, don't talk to her under false pretenses either.

If there is another guy in the picture, she will try to get in contact with you when she can't get in contact with him or when he's not giving her the "love" she needs. Don't be that guy. We call that an emotional tampon.

You came on way too strong yet, in a feminine, I'm afraid to get rejected way. You made it known you like her but you aren't sexual, you aren't a challenge, no taking your hand away 3 times is not a challenge.

 

[Mantle07]

Im pretty sure she was jealous when I hung out with that other girl because she asked me what I thought about her and a bunch of other questions.

So what I got from your reply, is the best thing to do now is stride away from her a bit. Ignore her and make her want to come back to me? The only time I should talk to her is if she wants to make plans with me?

 

[backbreaker]

NO, you ignore her beucase you have no reason to talk to her if there is no chance to date.

You can't MAKE someone like you. They either do or they don't.

What I prescribed is a no lose situation.

She is either going to play ball, and if she's not you are not wasting valuable time.

Don't sit by the clock waiting for her call. ASsume she's gone. I know it's harsh but you screwed the pooch on this one, and your only chance is to hope that she sees you have a backbone and finds it appealing. It does happen.

 

[Chickfight]

I'm pretty sure this is not a true ljbf. This is just her not wanting to seem easy or like a slvt. I'd blow it off with a "haha okay, whatever you say", then stop contacting her. She'll re initiate.

Oh, and stop texting her so damn much, CALL her. I know you're in highschool and highschool girls are used to it, but it helps to stand out from the crowd.

 

[Mantle07]

Can you tell me more on how to fix this? I need to learn on how to deal with these kinds of things because this is first case Ive ever had in all my past women relationships.

And I my mind, its probably bad, but I hate being rejected or turned down. I am the one who always wants to win and never lose.

EDIT: Thanks Chickfight. before I even got to breaker's reply I told her "its not going to change me. bye" thats all I said and she sent a txt back a minute later "so what are you up to?" I have yet to reply to her since that last text she sent me.

 

[Chickfight]

Just do what I say. It's not a big deal. She feels she went too sexual with you with the whole shower comment and doesn't want to seem like a slvt. She's testing you and if you let yourself get affected or pissed off you lose.

Do exactly what I said. text her back "haha, okay whatever" or something equally indifferent. And then NOTHING, when she gets back to you, which I'm guessing she will soon, probably tomorrow. It's ON. Act like she never said it and ask her out again, then ESCALATE again.

Later throw in a joke (after you make out) like "So we're pretty friendly friends huh" and "you're not gonna freak out on me again are you?". it will prevent more bullsh!t like this in the future.

Most importantly chill out, it's a test. keep doing what you were doing before. It may not have been perfect, but it obviously was working.

 

[Mantle07]

Like I said before, after she said the ljbf txt I sent her "Its not going to change me. bye"

I know for a fact that shes going to try to contact me tomorrow sometime. Whether its a text or a call. How should I respond to her then?

 

[Chickfight]

it's not going to change me? What does that even mean?
Anyway, it doesn't matter much. She probably doesn't know what it means either which is fine.

It's obvious she still wants to fvck your brains out, but be patient, you haven't passed the test yet. Here's what you do.

Don't contact her for now. When she contacts you tomorrow, just set up a date and act like nothing happened and keep escalating like before, see my earlier post.

If she brings up the just friends thing when you try to set up a date just respond with "uhh, okaay" like she's being weird or "haha okay, whatever you say boss". Agree with her but don't take it seriously. Jokingly tell her you'll be on your best behavior. Believe me, she does NOT see you as just friends. All you need to do is take out her "anti-slut defense", which in younger girls like her can come out at earlier stages like these. Guy's like backbreaker are too old and hardened to understand these things. He's what I'd call a seduction Nazi

I recently got it on with a 17 year old and had to do the same sh!t and it worked out great and she had used the "just friends" line on me a couple times before too. Always right after a big step in intimacy or before a big step in intimacy was expected to happen. These are just some of the things I did to neutralize that sh!t.

PS. and seriously chill out with the texting, if you do that **** too much it's a huge attraction killer.

 

[JMoneyINC.]

What's up with people coming on here asking for help, receiving the best help/answer possible, and then not applying it. Breaker broke it down perfectly, there really isn't much else you can do. Re-read what he said and then actually do it, and I can guarantee you will end up in a better situation then you are in now.

 

[Mantle07]

Im following both pieces of advice. Im still continuing with the NC. Ill edit this post later if things change.

 

[Kenny Powers]

JmoneyINC - hahaha couldn't agree more

Mantle you got two great pieces of advice, both different but should have worked overall. You however decided to go with "Its not going to change me. bye". I think you actually caught a break with this one because apparently she was so confused by your response, which makes no sense, that she's still interested.

Sry for being harsh (better get used to it, a lot of people are on this site), but c'mon man you got solid advice, use it!

Right now its unclear if she actually wants to be friends or not. Either way just play it cool and try to figure out what she wants. If its friendship go N/C you're done. If its more than that, escalate but bust her ballls for the friendship comment, which was very bizarre.

Also contact her less, you are being way to available!!!!!!! Next time wait longer to respond, make her wonder what you are doing or if you're going to respond at all

Good luck

 

[backbreaker]

see that is the problem, that alot of guys make. **** trying to figure out what she wants. It doesn't matter. Who cares what she really means or what she really doesn't secretly mean.

We don't play games and we don't mince words. The woman told you she wanted to be friends, you dont' want to be friends so "move on" and leave it at that.

At the end it basically saying **** or get off the pot. If she "doesn't mean it" she will come around. If she means it she will be gone.

What the **** you DON'T do is kepe playin this silly ****ing charade under her terms.

I remember one day I was in the mall with my boys, saw a tall hot girl I was interested in, caught her looking at me, I approached her. We were all joking around and stuff , I asked for her num ber, she said no but you can give me your number, I said no thanks, but I appreciate the offer and walked off. My friends were like dude what the ****. I was like look. If a woman is interested in you, they will show you be yond a doubt they are interested. That woman wasn't interested in me, she was interested in playing games, which I don't have time for.

Stop worry about what she wants, and worry about what you want. If you want to date and she doesn't you have no reason whatsoever to keep wasting time tlakin to her

 

[Mantle07]

From the past two days I have been on this site, I have learned a **** ton. Its only to keep getting better and better for me.

 

[Chickfight]

see that is the problem, that alot of guys make. **** trying to figure out what she wants. It doesn't matter. Who cares what she really means or what she really doesn't secretly mean.

We don't play games and we don't mince words. The woman told you she wanted to be friends, you dont' want to be friends so "move on" and leave it at that.

At the end it basically saying **** or get off the pot. If she "doesn't mean it" she will come around. If she means it she will be gone.

What the **** you DON'T do is kepe playin this silly ****ing charade under her terms.

I remember one day I was in the mall with my boys, saw a tall hot girl I was interested in, caught her looking at me, I approached her. We were all joking around and stuff , I asked for her num ber, she said no but you can give me your number, I said no thanks, but I appreciate the offer and walked off. My friends were like dude what the ****. I was like look. If a woman is interested in you, they will show you be yond a doubt they are interested. That woman wasn't interested in me, she was interested in playing games, which I don't have time for.

Stop worry about what she wants, and worry about what you want. If you want to date and she doesn't you have no reason whatsoever to keep wasting time tlakin to her

Yeah, but the thing is she probably does want him. Sure, she's playing games, but all girls do. You just got to beat them at it.

The example you gave was great, right attitude and all. Called her on her bluff, but then you didn't play the game further when you were winning. If there was a way she could've gotten in touch with you after you walked away she probably would have, but there wasn't.

That's saying fvck it a little too soon in my opinion.

 

[backbreaker]

the mistake you make is thinking that the end game is screwing the woman. The end game, is screwing women, on your terms.

Your terms are as little drama as possible. This woman is drama even if she does want him, that's not the type of woman you play games with. We leave those type of women for the chumps to scrape through.

****ign is not the end all be all. If ou are going ot have a woman it's going to be on your terms. If this woman is not going to play ball and by play ball I simply mean be honest and open about how you feel, then **** her (figuratively) and move on.

I probably have turned down alot of ass becuase of that hard line but you know what, my life is extremely drama free for the most part. Alot of you guys, set your self up for uncalled for problmes becuase you don't establish the correct framework


step back and play this tape out. let's say you play this stupid ****ing game with her. 5 months later, what the hell happens when she sees a guy at work she likes. she has no respect for the OP becuase she has walked all over him and made him swallow his ****ing pride for some *****, she's going to treat him accordingly.

And then, think about what kinda silly ass woman, tells you she doesn't like when you when she does. That's not the kinda woman I want to **** anyway, if you do, go right ahead and don't say we didn't tell you so when you come posting about she "omfg she is saying she is confused now, what do I do to save my relationship!!"

it's about estblishing the correct frame for the relationship.

 

[MartyMcFly]

step back and play this tape out. let's say you play this stupid ****ing game with her. 5 months later, what the hell happens when she sees a guy at work she likes. she has no respect for the OP becuase she has walked all over him and made him swallow his ****ing pride for some *****, she's going to treat him accordingly.

And then, think about what kinda silly ass woman, tells you she doesn't like when you when she does. That's not the kinda woman I want to **** anyway, if you do, go right ahead and don't say we didn't tell you so when you come posting about she "omfg she is saying she is confused now, what do I do to save my relationship!!"

it's about estblishing the correct frame for the relationship.

Couldn't agree more with this. If OP continues down the path he has taken, he'll just end up in LJBF. **** this *****, if she wants to play games, she can play with herself. (Hah)

 

[Mantle07]

I know for a fact that I am an AFC. I am trying to take steps forward and away from my AFCness. Thats why I came to this site seeking help and to try to better my game.

I mean I know for a fact that Im a decent looking kid so that doesnt worry me at all but thing with me is that I never have had that mentality to keep on pursuing things. I am trying to change this completely and Im also trying to change my inner personality so I can become more self-confident. I dont know how but I lost some self-confidence during the beginning of my sophmore year and I dont know why.

I used to be able to freely talk to girls without a problem, then BAM, sex came into the scene and everything in my mind turned off. I think thats the main reason behind my loss of self-confidence.

 

[Chickfight]

the mistake you make is thinking that the end game is screwing the woman. The end game, is screwing women, on your terms.

Your terms are as little drama as possible. This woman is drama even if she does want him, that's not the type of woman you play games with. We leave those type of women for the chumps to scrape through.

****ign is not the end all be all. If ou are going ot have a woman it's going to be on your terms. If this woman is not going to play ball and by play ball I simply mean be honest and open about how you feel, then **** her (figuratively) and move on.

I probably have turned down alot of ass becuase of that hard line but you know what, my life is extremely drama free for the most part. Alot of you guys, set your self up for uncalled for problmes becuase you don't establish the correct framework


step back and play this tape out. let's say you play this stupid ****ing game with her. 5 months later, what the hell happens when she sees a guy at work she likes. she has no respect for the OP becuase she has walked all over him and made him swallow his ****ing pride for some *****, she's going to treat him accordingly.

And then, think about what kinda silly ass woman, tells you she doesn't like when you when she does. That's not the kinda woman I want to **** anyway, if you do, go right ahead and don't say we didn't tell you so when you come posting about she "omfg she is saying she is confused now, what do I do to save my relationship!!"

it's about estblishing the correct frame for the relationship.

It depends on the situation really. I won't hesitate to walk away if she pulls some disrespectful sh!t, but all girls play games to some extent. I don't even mind anymore. It's fun and easy to me.

Your approach works for you though. I don't doubt that, but the OP's coming here looking for advice on how to get this particular girl, not to change his whole view of reality. So that's what I'm giving him. Five months from now is a different story, but by then he might have learned how to handle women better. That's what this site is about, not this thread.