Self-Improvement Thread - Changing My Life!

[GetBetter]

I would like to know more details about the game!

Well it's an Retro RPG that I am trying to complete. I am doing the art and my virtual friend who is a programmer is doing the programming. Basically it's an action adventure game in which player can choose between two sides(Technology or Elemental Power). More than this I can not tell you atm
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According to Today's Schedule:

Went to coaching. After it ended I came to know that there is a party of my friend's friend. My friend dragged me there. I knew no one there and didnt even try to make them friend. It was a girl's party but I talked to no one there. She apparently was my friend's very close friend yet I didn't talk to her much. As my friend was into them, I just left it and got home.

Get Out + Work Out: After I came home. I checked my schedule for today and decided to go for a run. And damn! I covered 5 kilometers in half an hour! I went in evening and I was the only one running. Was feeling weird but then I played 'Not Afraid by Eminem' in which at one part he says," I am doing this for me, so the **** the world feed it beans. It's gassed up if things stopping me." Man then I really cared for no one and just ran. I sweat a lot.

Also, it served the purpose of 'Get Out' as I found an Indian dish was available in 6 flavours at a shop! I didn't know that. I am going to try it out tomorrow. Also, I came to know about our city's post office's location. I am going there too tomorrow and will inquire about how internet has effect it and stuff. Let's see how it turns Will do something new tomorrow!

Then after coming home from 5 km run, I came home and did some weight training and some crunches.

Meditation: I was sweating and my T-Shirt was drenched in sweat I had to take a bath. After that I prayed and meditated. Felt a bit better instantly. Did meditation for half an hour.

News Reading: After meditation I read the newspaper, however just the headings and not full story. It's always the same - corrupt ministers...

Pixel Art: Been doing pixel art after news reading. Worked on my game. Nothing much tbh and I think I might get fired from an iphone project I took.


I also downloaded Awaken the Giant Within, NorwegianDJ suggested. It's pretty huge.
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I now think that my old problems haven't really vanished afterall. I am not as free with girls as I am with my other friends. I don't joke around as freely but I do make their fun. I dont express my emotions, ideas and stuff clearly, which makes me an Introvert.

Problems never end huh?

 

[GetBetter]

Yesterday(4/10/13)

According to Yesterday's Schedule:

Pixel Art: I lost my iPhone project because the person who had hired me is confused about his own game now.. Worked on my own project after that.

Also, yesterday a competition was started on BYOND about making a game in two weeks. Been working on that hard, like really hard. Wrote stories as game ideas and I am really happy with what I wrote. I think I am a really good story writer

Work Out: No Gym yet so had exercised at home and did weight training with dumb bells I have at home. Also did some crunches and push- ups.

Meditation: Done!

Reading/Writing Novel: Didn't...

Other: Slept at like 6 am in the morning... Was constantly working on my game. I hope it wins and I get 100$ Maybe I shouldn't give it a priority over my sleep...Due to that I really wake up late in the morning nowadays.

The school holidays are about to end and I have to get back to school now.
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Today(5/10/13)

Schedule:

Woke up really late in the morning because I slept today 6 am...

And..on top of that, I really didn't do anything.

Work Out - Went to Gym today! Wow man, the ambience in gym really motivates you to do more workout. Did a lot of weight training today, my arms ached after the training. I don't even know the names of weight training I did...

Flirting/Cold Approaching: Just beneath the Gym is a Super Market. I just went there casually to get fruit juice and biscuit to eat. But it was crowded so I decided I would just leave but then suddenly a great looking girl entered, however with her mom... In my mind I just though that I should go and say to her "Hey, I think you look great!" but other me said, no let's just go home. And so I just went out without purchasing anything, and started my motorcycle but then again a thought popped "I won't get such a chance again! I should go and grab the moment!" I re-entered the Super Market in hope that I would find that girl or she would come out of somewhere, lol! But I didn't see her... I purchased fruit juice and biscuits and then came back home.

Skin-Hair: Dayum! I really feel ashamed that I havent even taken a shower today... I had to scrub today and even shampoo my hairs.. *I shouldn't share these things..*

Get Out + Read Newspaper + Meditation + Studying : Nope, did none of these today.. I feel really bad and ashamed right now..

Other: I did drawing today, I am learning shading especially cross-hatching. Couldn't do it yesterday so did it today. Also, didn't write novel yesterday so wrote today; completed almost 5 pages.

2 Days of No-Fap and 2 Days of not reading Awaken the Giant Within.. ****! Today I have ruined my schedule! About no-fap, I really don't feel any changes in me.

 

[Watawata]

wait a few more days and youl start feeling the difference on no fap. Your motivation will increase, an so will your confidence. Keep at it!

 

[GetBetter]

Today:

Pixel Art: Yesterday I felt really bad that I didn't have much friends. I want to increase my social circle, make it pretty big! And so I decided why I was becoming anti-social and what's restricting me. I realized it's because of computer, I spend whole day doing Pixel Art. I decided I wouldn't spend more than an hour on Pixel Art. Thus in the morning spent only one hour.

WorkOut: Not Done

Meditation: Nope. However I should make this mandatory as NorweignDJ said it's a must for intrinsic improvement.

Read Newspaper: Yes did read it. Another tornado hitting China now?

Flirting/Cold Approaching: No. However when I went coaching, I saw a girl who is junior to me and that looks pretty good to me and of my standards. I asked one of my juniors about her and asked if she's single or not(most of the girls nowadays aren't - 99 %) and he replied she isnt. Then after coaching me and my friends were standing beside two girls, one of them the one whose number I asked for. She struck conversation with me and then I chatted to her. Also, one of my friends friend, who looks pretty good and has great dressing style, chatted. I many a times wonder if I should make her my girl friend or not..

After that me an my friend went to see Garba(Indian festival). Man girls there were superb! Like bind-blowing! But, again, most of them were with their boyfriends/friends(w/e). And this.. really made me jealous, like super jealous! I wonder what I don't have that those other boys have to have such girlfriends!?!? I have looks, money, personality, dressing style, everything!

Also I saw an old friend there(girl). I just said hi and didn't talk much. She was with her friend and we all could have just went to do the Garba together but no! I think I was nervous and after doing lil chat me and my friend came out and went home! ****! I feel aweful!

And thus I have decided that I can tolerate this no more! NO MORE! I am going to develop big social circle, going to turn extrovert and going to get lots of girlfriends! I am going to learn cold approaching as well! Decision, as the book Awaken the Giant Within says, is the biggest power of human being!

More girls are going to enter in my life now!

Others: Time to get a hair-cut, buy some accessories.

 

[GetBetter]

Today:

Pixel Art: Yesterday I felt really bad that I didn't have much friends. I want to increase my social circle, make it pretty big! And so I decided why I was becoming anti-social and what's restricting me. I realized it's because of computer, I spend whole day doing Pixel Art. I decided I wouldn't spend more than an hour on Pixel Art. Thus in the morning spent only one hour.

WorkOut: Not Done

Meditation: Nope. However I should make this mandatory as NorweignDJ said it's a must for intrinsic improvement.

Read Newspaper: Yes did read it. Another tornado hitting China now?

Flirting/Cold Approaching: No. However when I went coaching, I saw a girl who is junior to me and that looks pretty good to me and of my standards. I asked one of my juniors about her and asked if she's single or not(most of the girls nowadays aren't - 99 %) and he replied she isnt. Then after coaching me and my friends were standing beside two girls, one of them the one whose number I asked for. She struck conversation with me and then I chatted to her. Also, one of my friends friend, who looks pretty good and has great dressing style, chatted. I many a times wonder if I should make her my girl friend or not..

After that me an my friend went to see Garba(Indian festival). Man girls there were superb! Like bind-blowing! But, again, most of them were with their boyfriends/friends(w/e). And this.. really made me jealous, like super jealous! I wonder what I don't have that those other boys have to have such girlfriends!?!? I have looks, money, personality, dressing style, everything!

Also I saw an old friend there(girl). I just said hi and didn't talk much. She was with her friend and we all could have just went to do the Garba together but no! I think I was nervous and after doing lil chat me and my friend came out and went home! ****! I feel aweful!

And thus I have decided that I can tolerate this no more! NO MORE! I am going to develop big social circle, going to turn extrovert and going to get lots of girlfriends! I am going to learn cold approaching as well! Decision, as the book Awaken the Giant Within says, is the biggest power of human being!

More girls are going to enter in my life now!

Others: Time to get a hair-cut, buy some accessories.

 

[GetBetter]

Woah I didn't know I havent posted in weeks! The reason being that my schools started and I couldnt get time to post about my life. Me not able to complete my daily schedules and thinking why I need sosuave when I know what I am missing, being extrovert and not having romance in my life.

Girls: I don't approach any girl because I don't like any.. but I do want lots of girls in my life.. Gah! What shall I do? Also, I liked a girl at my tution classes and was about to flirt and then hook up with her when my friend told she is a drama queen and she isnt upto our standards.

I really need a big social circle now..

Get Out: I stopped this... Computer is to be blamed! And thus I am going to have a 'No Computer Week'. I think this might help me. I am also planning to buy a bicycle now so that it will help me as well.

I need a bigger social circle because there isnt a good place to go, and there arent lot of friends to hang out with. Though I have good amount of friends but they are all too busy or kind of ignore me(thats what I think).

Others: Been reading Awaken the Giant Within and it's great! Due to it I really created a good business plan. I just need an investor now to hire professionals to make my plan reality.

I never could hold myself from fapping after 3-4 days.. damn me! I think having no computer week would help.

Completed 70 pages of my novel!
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Found a the reason why No-Fap helps you gain confidence. It is because you crave for sex when you don't fap! When you Fap, you lose the want or lust to have sex, you get satisfied with it. But when you don't fap for days or months, you start to get frustrated and then want to have sex in reality with a girl and thus you become a monster(xD) and gain confidence with girls. This is just what I observed.

 

[DanZy]

You don't need to like the girls to approach them. Social circle game dude

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Others: Been reading Awaken the Giant Within and it's great! Due to it I really created a good business plan. I just need an investor now to hire professionals to make my plan reality.

Do it yourself. If you absolutely need some professional work done, visit www.odesk.com or www.freelancer.com You're unlikely to get an investor.

 

[GetBetter]

Do it yourself. If you absolutely need some professional work done, visit www.odesk.com or www.freelancer.com You're unlikely to get an investor.

Well, I was thinking of a partner who is also an investor. But I think you are right, I can just invest money that I earn from doing pixel art into this business. Not sure if I'll win or fail though but lets do it.

Today:

I've changed my schedule so that I can complete things. I added studies as my priority now as this is an important year. Also when I checked my timetable about how much time I have daily to spend on other activities after school, I think I really dont have much. But lets see...

Did one hour of freelancing. Nothing much today.. I wanted to have a 'No Computer Week' but I really dont know what to do.. I am planning to buy a bicycle as I had said because I got bored when I had wanted to go out but not alone or just walk around.

Went to play Cricket after my coaching classes. This game bores me but I just played to try something new. I just didnt want to come home.

Other than that, I talked to one of my classmates(a girl) who is pretty friendly. We chattered on Whatsapp because we live far away from each others' houses. And on chatting whenever she called me idiot(not sure if in friendly way or literally) I replied with calling her fatso because she is a little chubby. Also I started to Play 'Truth and Dare' with her, which I ultimately regretted...

She asked how many girls I had dated and while typing I felt ashamed(dunno why...) that I had dated only 2. And it went on and on:

Her: Only 3?
Me: Yep. There's no one to date at coaching..
Her: Ohkkk
Me: Should I date you?
Her: No! Are you not jealous of my happiness?(Being single she meant)

So she definitely has no interest in me. But, I wasnt being serious, just testing out how people felt for me.

Me: Number of smooches you have had?
Her: *Blushing Emoticons* 7

And then I made an excuse of going to bed.. because what could have I answered? I havent had a single kiss yet! Gah!

You don't need to like the girls to approach them. Social circle game dude

And that's why I think I'll just try to befriend okay looking girls at coaching now.

 

[GetBetter]

Okay so about last few days:

I've been following no fapping regime, and surprisingly been able to control myself, or rather force myself to do so. I read Pook's few posts and it told that females are attracted to high level testosterone and thus kept telling myself that I'll be more of a male if I don't fap, whenever I had an urge. Will continue to do so.

Still can't make myself approach girls. Questions keep popping about how people will think, how the girl will think etc etc. Also, since the four days of no-fap I have really started to get crush on girls... I think I am being desperate, or maybe not. Also, the girl I had to talked to on phone, seems damn too attractive to me now, but as my friend had told she is not upto mark in other fields(money, style, etc etc) so I dont know what to do...

Also, in the race to be more Extrovert, I might have gone over the board. I was making different voices while talking to my friend and two girls sitting infront of me at my coaching started laughing uncontrollably and one of them called me stupid while laughing. Also today I talked to one of my friends in such a manner that few girls again started laughing. I know I am funny, however since the time I've opened up myself, I think people respect me less nowadays and do not take me seriously. Last year when I lacked confidence to a great extent, and didn't used to open up myself a lot. I just used to sit saying nothing or without talking much, with closed fingers(forgot what this is called but w/e), girls used to look at me and say nothing to me.

About my fitness, I've developed little bit of abs, and my biceps have increased a bit. I am thinking to wake up early morning and go for a run alternative before going to school. Also, today our school's football coach himself offered me a spot in school's football team. He said I kick very powerfully. I've been dieing to play football, and this opportunity was presented to me today!

I really am great at things

Also, today I made my business plan pretty rigid and awesome, I fixed up the holes that I thought might lead to failure and added a thing or two. Now it's time to work on my game as well as this business idea. Anyone interested can hit me up

So problem atm - Lack of romance in life...

 

[Watawata]

Well, that girl may not be good in things like money, style etc.. but if shes hot you could still bang her
With football you mean soccer? If so thats awesome.
The business as to do with the game?

 

[GetBetter]

Well, that girl may not be good in things like money, style etc.. but if shes hot you could still bang her

True that. Time to approach her and talk to her then. I'll also talk to another girl and will try to set up a date with her. Let's see what happens.

With football you mean soccer? If so thats awesome.

Yep, soccer is what I mean.

The business as to do with the game?

Nope, another idea I came up with. I was never into game development, but dont know how I am doing that task.

 

[GetBetter]

Couldn't post yesterday as I had to get rest, so I am posting in the morning.

Yesterday me and my friends went to a water park, as my friend gave a birthday party there. Everyone enjoyed a lot there, except me because I had a life vs death situation there.

But before I say about that, let's see the part where I am alright. We went to lots of slides, and enjoyed a lot. It seems that I am the most charming and daring person when it comes to taking risks, haha! I really love these situations when people get a bit scared of going on slides, but I just love it! So much fun!

After that we went to a pool where sea waves are artificially created. There we were enjoying a lot, everyone was. But then suddenly I saw death. One person panicked when the waves were created and was drowning, and due to panicking he grabbed me and to come out of water, pushed me inside and I went into a cave from where machine created waves. There in the cave I got stuck. the cave was filled with water. And I somehow held my breath and came and really used my full power to come out of that cave, and somehow did. But in the struggle, my whole back got scratched with the rocks there and also head got wounded. I came out of water and walked out of the pool. One of my friends saw me and asked what happened; I asked him if I was bleeding and he told... I was. After sometime all of my friends gathered and we went to have first aid. The cut in my head wasnt big but still was continuously bleeding(small amounts though). I took cotton and kept it on my head and let my friends enjoy. But two of my buddies kept coming near me asking how was I feeling. They took care of me. And one of them even came into the hospital with my father. I had to get a stitch on my wound. I still have it on now.

I am really thankful to god and to my swimming that I had learned, that due to those I am still alive. Otherwise I dont know.. if I had panicked too, I would have died or would have been crushed by the machine, or something else. People say that after seeing death, your perspective about life changes, but I am not too sure. But one thing I've learned for sure, these situations really tell you who is your real friend and who is not. Out of us 6, only 3 bothered to take care of me. Or maybe it is so because it wasnt a major cut. Who knows..

And as NorwegianDJ had said, life's experiences are necessary to have Intrinsic Improvement; here I had it! Added another story to my book - my life.

After that I couldn't do anything as I had to get some rest, I was sleepy. Also, I came from water park at night and after that went to hospital, so really couldnt do anything anyways.

 

[Watawata]

Holy **** man. Hope you get better quickly

 

[GetBetter]

@Watawata: Thanks man!

Few Days Info:

Since the stitch I havent really gone out...Or done anything. I am not even following my schedule. I asked my dad if I can go out, he says no because I should rest.

However, I went to buy tuxedo with my father and brother. And man wow! The tux we've bought is awesome! When I tried it on, I really felt like a man, a better personality! Sad news though, that it was way too costly and I felt bad for that. But I've promised my dad that I'll recover that much in five days.

And so my posted my portfolio everywhere to work as a freelance artist. I have to earn $300 in five days starting today. I havent received any offers yet, except a guy who wanted to do revenue sharing. I declined.

Also, I have been controlling myself from fapping and has been working smoothly. However, I watched a lot of porn yesterday night, just to increase my testosterone, and.... I had a night fall yesterday. So I am not so sure what this means.. is this same as fapping?

 

[GetBetter]

Today: 27th October 2013

Today again I went to a birthday party with my friends. We kept listening to loud music in the car my friend had brought. Then we all went to mall there. We directly went to Game Zone there to play bowling but as it is Sunday, it was really crowded and we had to wait. We decided to play Kid Games. Lol! It was definitely fun though. My friend went to dashing cars, and me and my best friend refrained and went out to food zone. However in the way, I almost bumped into a girl. When I looked at her when she gave a expression of sorry, I just gazed into her eyes, and man they were beautiful and she shyed. I was wearing a hat because my hairs look too bad. I havent shampooed them for a week now as doctor has said that water should not touch my wound. I felt a bit weird but good as well as it was something unique.
After me and my best friend returned from food zone, I saw my friend who were still bumping their cars and having fun. The girl I almost bumped into was also standing near by. We again exchanged glances. Then me and my all friends went to play other kid games, and I went. After playing few games, me and one of my friends went to see the girl, but now she was driving the dashing car, however her friends had seen me and they figured out what I was upto. But I really couldnt approach her. So I returned back to the group, and as we were leaving to play bowling, my friend Smitul told me that the same girl and her friends had been staring me all the time. Dayum it was so clear that she was into me! Again, without approaching I went to do bowling and she reached the ally after some time, trying to meet me. But I ignored and continued to play and then never saw her again..

I wish I had guts!

I lost at bowling with a score of 7 and my friends won with the score of 100+ each! Lol, I suck at it. Anyways, after that we went to McDonalds to fill our stomach. There were so many girls, beautiful ones and I just kept staring at different different girls. Me and my 7 friends kept laughing and kept making fun of each other. After that we came out and again some of my friends told me that Few girls again were staring me as well. Then after we came out, we kept joking around, and kept challenging friends to approach the girls. However all of that shown of themselves as Players, none could even make a move! Including me! Then one of my friends made a deal that whosoever approached would get 50 bucks and then I got ready to do so at first but I couldnt!

Then my best friend laughed at us and made fun of us to be really kids and then without hesitation went to those girls, holding and eating ice cream in front of them and said something to them and returned without laughing. We asked what happened to which he said to one of my friends "I told them that you wanted to talk to them, and they replied by saying that they dont talk to Gays!" And laughed hard! All of my friends made fun of all those guys, due to which he got mad and wanted to fight with those girls. I follwed but my best friend stopped me by saying that he made it up and those girls didnt say that. And so I stopped.
I appraised my best friend so much to have guts to approach the girls without fear! **** man, he did it so smoothly! And at that particular moment I felt so ashamed that I couldnt even talk! Only that guy could approach in a pack of 8 guys! So ****ing awesome! And that inspired me a lot! And I made a bet to everyone that they just tell me to approach a girl and I'll do so! If I dont I'll give 50 bucks to them and if I do they'll give 50 bucks to me! However, we couldnt find a single attractive girls afterward... I kept yelling at my friends to tell me to go to a girl but they just couldnt target anyone... I felt too bad, of myself, I felt like I wasnt a man anymore... All of my friends praised my best friend Gaurav, very much, like a lot!
Then we set off for our homes. While we were in car, I asked Gaurav to explain me what exactly happened once again. And he said that when he went to girls he told them that one of my friends that was in blue T-Shirt(not me but my friend) wanted to talk to them. To which the girl replied that she wasnt interested and one of the other girls said that they dont talk to faggots!
That made me so ****ing angry because we all were standing in group, and I was highlighted! And those girls called not only him a faggot but all of us! I felt so angry that if my friend had told me that before, seriously I would have gone and would have slapped her in the face! I really wanted to kill her to insult me, and us!
However, I learnt a very important lesson from this incident: You should approach girls asap otherwise whatever interest you have created through looks, personality and all, will vanish and you'll become a homo in their eyes!
I am going to take my anger on every single girl now! I have said this so many times, but now I am too determined. How DARE ONE CALL ME A faggot!
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I really thought many a times today that today finally I am going to write that today I made my first cold approach! But no, my fear of how and what to talk to them and what will my friends think always conquers my bravery and I end up as a loser

Conclusion:

1. Have guts to talk to girls. You never know what might be the result.
2. Approach girls as soon as possible otherwise you'll lose their interest in you, morever they'll think of you as a gay! Hell, I'll always remember this incident!
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EDIT: After echoing my own posts, I must say that No-Fap definitely increases your confidence in yourself, and increases your testosterone level and the girls do notice!

I did fap yesterday though I am gonna watch porn to increase my testosterone. But I am not going to fap!

 

[Turbolqk]

I think youre taking everything too seriously, you need to relax and have fun. Realise that these traits you want to have, they imprison your mind. Imo before you start approaching and stuff you should change your frame. Its not easy, beleve me. As Pook said, few can change the way they think. But really, the way you think is basically a bunch of habbits, they can be changed. So that girl called you guys faggots. So what? Do not give a $hit. Getting emotional is a sign of weakness = disrespect. And no, girls wont think youre a fag if you dont approach. Have fun! Oh and just to add, don't really make that perfect version of yourself in your mind, trying to be it. That will just make you insecure. Beleve me, I used to be insecure and it sucks . Read the book "The power of Now", will teach you how to turn that stupid voice in your head off.

 

[DanZy]

Today: 27th October 2013
EDIT: After echoing my own posts, I must say that No-Fap definitely increases your confidence in yourself, and increases your testosterone level and the girls do notice!

I did fap yesterday though I am gonna watch porn to increase my testosterone. But I am not going to fap!

No-fap doesn't increase testosterone enough for it to do anything, you're doing that!

Don't be stupid mate. Watching porn to raise test levels?? You're a young guy, your levels can't be any higher naturally.

 

[GetBetter]

I think youre taking everything too seriously, you need to relax and have fun. Realise that these traits you want to have, they imprison your mind. Imo before you start approaching and stuff you should change your frame. Its not easy, beleve me. As Pook said, few can change the way they think. But really, the way you think is basically a bunch of habbits, they can be changed. So that girl called you guys faggots. So what? Do not give a $hit. Getting emotional is a sign of weakness = disrespect. And no, girls wont think youre a fag if you dont approach. Have fun! Oh and just to add, don't really make that perfect version of yourself in your mind, trying to be it. That will just make you insecure. Beleve me, I used to be insecure and it sucks . Read the book "The power of Now", will teach you how to turn that stupid voice in your head off.

I was just using that anger so that I actually take action. Once I have done two to three approaches, it'll be just fun.

Anyways Updates:

Did not post anything because of the festive week and my stitch. My parents didnt allow me to go anywhere because of concern so yeah havent been anywhere. But today my stitch were cut as my wound has healed and finally I can shampoo my hairs again after 12 days! However, I earned whole time in holidays.

Also, I got a tuxedo as a Diwali Gift and man I really felt awesome when I tried it on! Tuxedos do feel awesome.

I can finally work out again. Today I woke up at 5 am to go for a run, and then kept questioning myself if I should or should not go. And then I decided that I should just sleep and then get ready for school. I shall not focus too much on body atm. I cant wake up at 5 am... but I do know that if I start doing it for say a week, it'll become a habit. Not sure what to do.

About Self Improvement:

I've set my mindset to be best pixel artist. Best at everything! Saying wont make a difference though, I shall make it happen.

My exgirlfriend studies is in the same school and 12th standard but different section. We crossed each other today and she kept staring at me. And many a times indirectly but I caught her haha. I think she sees the difference in me, she might regret and ponder of how much I've changed how awesome I've become - way better than before! I checked my old pics on facebook and damn man, I laughed when I looked at my old self. Haha I've improved so much, but I have a lot more areas to improve in.

I am so surprised about how much SoSuave has changed me, how it has changed my mindset about girls and women. How much some serials have got into my mind, however at many points it has gone way too far, I must say. Now I dont see women as goddesses, but mere creatures. Now, I cant handle a disrespect from a girl but anyone. I am much more confident while talking to girls. I see how girls are craving for sex, how they present themselves to guys and how they crave for attention. You just show them attitude and they melt. Some of them are my experiences and some have been proven through observations and stories of friends.

Today I finally started to re read Awaken the Giant Within after procrastinating for so long because I had to write some of my problems and had to find their solutions. Today I just grabbed a pen and my notebook, I kept writing as the author told me to. He asked me to write some of the things that I should do but I've been putting them off. I wrote four such things. He then asked me to write why I havent, pain associated with it, pleasure associated with not doing it. And I wrote it:

1. Fapping
Why - Instant Pleasure
Pain - Urge that couldnt be resisted.
Pleasure - INstant One

2. Cold Approaching
Why - Afraid of Rejection and Lack of Girls in Locality
Pain - None as never cold approached and thus never had a girlfriend.
Pleasure - No Rejection

Although I've mentioned about my ex but I wouldnt even consider it a relationship, as I was too dumb that time to consider it as 'Love' when I was 14, and just wanted to spend time with her. We never kissed however she had many boy friends in past and she was very much experienced in all these matters. She even encouraged me a lot of times to talk to more girls and more freely, but I guess I was just too fearful at that time.

3. Following my Schedule
Why - Laziness
Pain - Less time to be on computer...(weird excuse I know but had to write pain associated with it)
Pleasure - Not losing energy.

4. Never Expressing My Ideas/Feelings etc (Being Introvert)
Why - 'What People will think of me' However this has changed so much as I express myself. And when I start questioning myself I repeat Eminem's words "I am doing this for me so **** the world, feed it beans it's gassed up if things stopping me"
Pain - Called me Dumbo once for expressing myself.
Pleasure - No one makes fun of me.

However I know they do at my back because they think I am still a dumbo, as I dont express myself too much. I know I am humorous, trendy and what not. I am as good as them if not better...

When I wrote this I realized that all of this is inter-related somehow. And most of the pain I've wrote is nothing but my own creations as they havent happened but what I think might happen. There's one more point to be written but I didnt have time to read the book more so didnt write it. I'll continue with this book tomorrow once again. I must say, that these books really can change your life.

I had sent some PMs to NorwegianDJ, and he said about some of the examples of Intrinsic and Extrinsic Improvements and he had said that I should focus more on Intrinsic Improvements. I am almost daily doing my prayers and meditation for half an hour. And all that I realize from them is that they make you calm. I am also reading newspapers daily to improve my knowledge. I am reading Awaken the Giant Within to improve confidence but nothing to have more life experiences.

To have more life experiences, it all boils down to having more friends and party crew. I know I have said it many times that I am going to have more friends but I dont want to say it now. What's the use of just saying. I have to actually do it.

There's a girl at my coaching who looks kinda cute and on Facebook, she gets almost 150 likes(a bit more average for girls) so I think maybe I should ask her out for date. What do you guys say?
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Don't be stupid mate. Watching porn to raise test levels?? You're a young guy, your levels can't be any higher naturally.

What!? Really? Maybe that's why I thought why it never made a HUGE difference to me..
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Been reading few people's journal - NorwegianDJ, MindGamez, BPH and I must say that situation in India seems to be a lot different than there. Girls are lot less(good looking ones) and having sex at young age is really considered kind of taboo. And you cant enter the clubs alone at same rate as couples. You've to pay higher rates to enter single. Also, the girls there mostly come with their boyfriends...
Atleast that's the situation in my city..

Also I found a superb website! http://alphamaletribe.com/
That website is really superb. I've liked it on facebook so that I get to read every post they make!

 

[GetBetter]

Sorry again, I havent been able to post anything as I am getting too busy nowadays. Anyways here's info about last few days and especially today!

I joined a Drawing Class(pretty expensive) where they are going to teach me Landscapes, Portraits, and Anatomy. I am glad I found a teacher who is MFA. Due to that I have much less time in my day but I am happy as I am preparing myself for College. The work I've done in last few days has made me realize that I have superb grasping power! The things that take weeks were understood and applied by me in just three days! I am having problems with shading though. The reasons behind was to get better at drawing to aid me get admission into college and to get better at Pixel Art as well. However my subconscious or conscious one joined as my friend had said there are few pretty girls there. When I joined I really got mad because what my friend had said was completely untrue!

But today I saw a really pretty girl! She goes to Dance Class which is in adjacent room. I went there to drink some water and saw her and she glanced back. And as soon as I returned and began my drawing, the class takes a break and she tells her dance teacher that she wants to draw now. Man after long time I think I finally got a bit of a crush.. and my hand suddenly started trembling when I thought of approaching her. I thought that I'd go and tell her that she looks gorgeous and how I'd ask her about her number and so on, but I just couldnt! Even though I had a chance, but I couldnt as there was our teacher in class. Although he is friendly I just didnt want to at that time, I wanted us to be alone in the whole room, where I could approach her. Anyways, I shook off that feeling by telling myself again and again that she doesnt have good curves, she has braces(came to know only after a close look) and voice like a horse lol. Then I came to know that she had tonsils or something like that due to which her voice got hoarse. And tomorrow I am going to talk to her definitely! Without thinking of what others might think or whatever excuse I can give myself! And once I talk to her and probably hook up, I am going to spin a lot of plates as a necessity as I dont to be victim of oneitis again.. Oh and let me tell you, I didnt express my feelings but I kept making eye contact with her for short intervals. I also acted normal just for the sake of me being my true self. Am I getting away from becoming Don Juan again to just an AFC?!?

About Confidence: I feel a huge boost in my confidence, and I feel awesome. The classmates whom I considered to be great personality, now feel just like me or even worse than me(sometimes). I am once again refraining from fapping.

About Workout - Nope I am not able to do that in my busy schedule. I had decided to go for jogging and then weight training at 5 am but I couldnt wake up at that time because at 6 we have school and I sleep at 11pm(earlier than most of my friends). I sleep a lot I think... I am not sure how to add workout to my daily schedule.

About Getting Out: I've been going to my friends house where we play cricket or badminton and we have lots of fun there. We even play games we used to play as kids, and man it's hella fun! The true emotions come out of me and feel re-energized. Maybe this is why I never considered going to Gym a must, as I felt that all of it is just fake and I should rather play sports which will develop me more - emotionally, physically, socially and mentally.

About Studies: I am in 12th grade and our main exams, like the most important of exams I've had till now are going to start in few months. All of our teachers are asking to quit everything and focus on studies. And I am beginning to feel like I should start studying as well. But again due to drawing classes I am not able to.. I have to reschedule my day so as to give proper time to stuff.

I am going to try to update my journal daily.